What problem does exactly Subu' mom have with Ishita?

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: Metamorphmagus
Type the way you like Aani. I don't mind.😊. Bang on about Subbu's mom. The thing is one would expect that reaction from Subbu and not his mother seeing how it was he who was in love with Ishita and not her.😆
Remember? We discussed Shagun a few days back and I said she is on the path that leads to Raman. Generally, one would think that Shagun has no where else to go and she can't return to Raman. But here, it is different. She needs a rich guy. Wasn't that her fascination with Ashok? She has Adi as leverage. I think she might try to manipulate Raman using Adi. She's already done it before. Nothing to stop her from doing it again. More so 'cause she's desperate. And Adi is no less.

@bold - I know its sorta crazy isnt it the way the woman keeps torturing Ishita as if she was the one who dumped her son and not the other way around I feel this was always a power struggle to her. She couldnt stand having the influence of the Iyers over her home. May be with her mentality she thought she shouldnt have two sisters as her DIL's else they would take over her reign and in extension their parents would take advantage of her sons

as for Shagun yep her ticket back is Adi, but I hope by the time Raman is in love with Ishita so that he doesnt do something stupid like give into his bratty son' demands to marry his mom again or something. He has to teach Adi the difference between things as well as let his son know the truth. If he wants to behave like an adult, Adi should be treated as one. Only when the kid realizes the truth can he redeem himself.

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#42

Originally posted by: pomegranate
[
agree with this and it will be nice to see something different in indian television for once. there is nothing wrong about the female lead not being a vigrin and it'll be nice to show raman being mature about it.

Hey may I pls know your name 😳

I am Aani

and yep I hope they kinda use the advantage of the slot in the right way. Just because Ishita hasn't been married before doesn't mean she has to be a virgin. And if Raman doesn't make a fuss over it I'll love him for it.

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Paru

@paru_rox

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 11 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

@bold - you and all of us, who doesnt love a cliche at the end of the day after all 😉😆

@red - 😆😆 I know exactly what you mean but it would be cool if its addressed in a way na - that a man not make a huge issue out of his wife' status as a non-virgin given this is 2014 and he isnt some untouched novice either. If Ekta has chosen this slot because she wants to be BOLD - then she can be bold without even crossing the lines and going explicit with the imagery she can do so verbally and raise a real, valid issue

@purple - LOL tell me about it the Sirf ruhi/shagun/padosi/dudhwala thing is getting tiring. If not a hug some gesture - something nice just because will do too 😳

Toshi ji has time and again said that Bhalla's are a modern family. Have a feeling that RKB will not let something like virginity be an issue once he falls in love with Ishita.

Kekta maiyya ki toh woh hi jaane ... I have been sensible enough to never be obsessed with any of her shows earlier. Got caught up in the hot chemistry of Ishra, baad mein pata chala ki its Kekta's show ... too late was already caught up in the show by then *sigh*.

The only silver lining I see that she just might be able to give us some ""hot** Ishra scenes 😳. I don't really have any other hopes from her in terms of addressing any serious issue ... didn't she recently say she likens her audience to idiots 😲.

@Red -- I know yaar ... its been 2 months. At least sleeping on the same bed should give us "apne aap ke liye" wale scenes 😆. Hope Ruhi makes them sleep on the same bed and then leaves to sleep in her own room for some reason ... kuch toh besharmi wala scene milega 😉.

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Paru

@paru_rox

Rocker

+ 8

Posted: 11 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: Metamorphmagus

Type the way you like Aani. I don't mind.😊. Bang on about Subbu's mom. The thing is one would expect that reaction from Subbu and not his mother seeing how it was he who was in love with Ishita and not her.😆
Remember? We discussed Shagun a few days back and I said she is on the path that leads to Raman. Generally, one would think that Shagun has no where else to go and she can't return to Raman. But here, it is different. She needs a rich guy. Wasn't that her fascination with Ashok? She has Adi as leverage. I think she might try to manipulate Raman using Adi. She's already done it before. Nothing to stop her from doing it again. More so 'cause she's desperate. And Adi is no less.

I agree on the part where Shagun would use Adi as leverage against Ishita and will try to win back Raman through the brat. But i however do feel that she will go back to Raman only once Ashok dumps her. If Shagun stays true to her character, she will never accept she made a mistake by leaving Raman as she has always clearly shown a disdain for Raman and everything about him.Thus she will go back to him only when she has no other choice left.
She will then let go of her huge ego over this point and go back to Raman once she realizes that now he can provide for her in the same way that Ashok did and he is a family man (who can be manipulated through his kids) which will again benefit her in the long run. Shagun has always been one to look for the most beneficial situation for her.

Also I hope they don't mess with her character and show that she wants Raman back coz she has fallen in love with him (What crap that wud be) but coz she always wanted him to remain in love with her.

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Maaneet099

@Maaneet099

Inactive

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

that is unfortunately the tragedy of life hope Raman manages to at least ward her off for a while though 😆 He should use that khaddospan of his for some good sometimes 😉😆

@bold: That I totally agree! 😆

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pomegranate

@pomegranate

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#46

despite the redundancy of it all, there is something refreshing about this show. most elemants are overused soap opera tropes but i think the leads bring a sense of clean air. Divyanka and karan nail their characters perfectly, and karan is incredibly compelling as RKB. in my opinion, they are one of the best actors on television right now and really makes this show worth watching.

as for ishra, it's high time CV's start developing their relationship. starting with the sleeping arrangements, for how long will ishita sleep on the couch? these two are so uptight, just sleep on the damn bed- no one said they have to do anything. also don't understand how neither feels an ounce of sexual attraction towards one another?

BTW, my name is zara :)

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Jay_tapori

@Jay_tapori

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#47

Originally posted by: EkPaheli
So I know this is a Kekta show and villains will be aplenty here - as they already are and will increase in the future too with the progression of the show naturally. But so far of all the villains the one that really confuses me the most is this woman - Subu' mom.
Ashok has some vendetta against Raman - what exactly I am not sure but its there. The guy went on to break Raman' marriage because of the grudge - even tried to take away both his kids and succeeded with one of them and has brainwashed Adi completely against his dad, If anyone of you does know their problem please let me know, and if the makers are yet to show the reason behind this animosity I hope to god it gets revealed someday,

Next is Shagun on the list - she isn't exactly a villain though in my opinion, rather she believes she is a player when in reality she is merely a pawn Ashok made her in this game of one-manupship that he has with Raman, where slowly and steadily she is losing her value due to Raman' indifference towards her. Her importance was always valid till the time she affected Raman in any way whatsoever, however I don't believe Ashok will throw her out on the streets yet because she is Adi' legal custodian and Adi still is someone who has a great influence and power over Raman, in some ways always will. In the absence of Shagun, Adi too cannot be with Ashok, since Ashok might have made Adi - Aditya Ashok Khanna, but it was by a simple legal name change procedure, there has been no formal adoption from his end that establishes his legal right over Aditya.

PervMeet - well he doesnt really need a reason he is a pervert

But this woman - Subu' mom is on some sort of mission to hurt Ishita and humiliate her till the end of her days it seems. Now if she was her DIL, one who couldnt conceive and in extension provide an heir for her family I could understand, not tolerate, but understand her hatred for Ishita. But here that is not even the case - she made faces when Toshi praised Ishita as she did when the society people did the same. And then spewed her venom.

What baffles me is what makes her hate Ishita so? Even Raman says in the precap to her Ishita is long gone from your life but you cant let her be at peace. I hope this makes him question what exactly has happened with Ishita in her past that this woman wont spare her even now.

Sometimes from the looks of it, it even seems like in a typical Balaji twist - it would be revealed that Ishita has no fertility issues and somehow this woman played her and Subu in order to separate the duo, since its mind boggling to think the fact that Ishita would develop such an acute pain in the stomach right on the eve of her engagement with Subu and that too due to a disease she had in childhood which was cured off completely. Not to mention the fact that Ishita' problem blocked Fallopian tubes due to illness though not exactly common isn't that rare - cases like these can be cured via a surgery too. So what exactly made the doctor proclaim Ishita as barren for life and why didn't the Iyers ever have Ishita checked by another doctor - a senior/ a specialist in this regard?

Ishita herself being a medical professional knows the value of a second opinion. Then why has it been shown that even she has relied on one doctor' proclamation of her infertility which could be wrong as well.

whoa brilliant 👏

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Jay_tapori

@Jay_tapori

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#48

Ekta maiyya ka nahi bhi idea hoga toh bhi tumhaarey post se woh seven eight weeks ka content create karr degi..kya achey achey absorbing tracks hain tumhaarey. Waisey this i also thought ki baanj thing may be wrong diagnosis. Maybe subbus mom did not want both daughters to be frm same household as her bahu.but then how could subbu who loved her so long overnight change his decision and drop her totally.. Well different story subbu ko toh uskey baad dikhaaya bhi nahi..sirf bechaarey baala ko dikhaatein hain...and for all u know this baala ka goody goddy image n buddiness to ishita may also be a dhong so that his mom's kaaali kartoot may never surface ever... Also i feel ..bala will take bribe in fact he has taken that dabba bribe the friend of romi bot..remember the gold chain he gave vandu... Ekta ke stories ekta hi jaaney .😛 But i liked ur analysis very very much. Tum hamesha mann mein naya doubt daal deti ho 😆

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eternalasha

@eternalasha

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: EkPaheli

now given her history - she considered this woman to be akin to her mom for ages - since she was in love with Subu from the time she was 15 so she cant get over that.
but the most important thing which makes her so subservient in a way as per me is her lack of self-confidence in the face of what she considers as her greatest inability. Not only did she have to face this issue, she was abandoned by the man she felt she would be spending her life with because of it.

Subu' denial to marry her has hurt Ishita more than she lets on. He couldn't even face her when he came to break things up, now that has got to hurt. Not to mention the fact that her mother' incessant pursuit to get her married always ending in her being rejected because of this factor further dented her confidence. The time and again rejection making her unable to move on from this fact.

now that she is married- she knows Raman married her only for Ruhi' custody. Not out of love nor because he expects anything off her.

I think her confidence will be restored only when she is praised and defended by Raman for her skills as a mother not behind her back like he did with Shagun, but with the complete knowledge that Ishita knows he believes this to be true..

Ishita will only realize she has not let anyone down, once she is sure and assured of it.
Just like last night, where she was scared to deliver that baby - but the faith others had in her inspired her enough to trust herself.

She needs someone' faith in her so very much to believe herself once again - to realize it was not her fault things ended with Subu or never happened with anyone else either.

Great Post Aani and Malika👏

Like others, i have been thinking about this whole baanjh thing since yesterday

In this case I think @magenta and @red in both your posts are pointing us in the right direction.

I think what Ishita has is a self-worth issue that began when she was declared sterile. Let me explain. A google search of Baanjh came up with the following definitions: 1) Incapable of Reproduction 2) Unfit for reproduction of offspring.

1)Incapable of reproduction - set aside for moment whether this is medically verified - if its true that Ishita can't conceive, then it is a statement of fact - just as Toshiji explained - it is when a women can't have kids. While it is incredibly and unimaginably painful it is something that with love can be possibly understood, accepted and dealt with without damage of the soul - note I am not trying to be insensitive here

2)Unfit for reproduction of offspring. Unfit - herein lies the problem -
Historically, especially in India, when women couldn't conceive the intention with which the word Baanjh was used wasUnworthy - unworthy to be a mother, unworthy to be a bahu, unworthy to be a wife, unworthy as a human, unworthy of love, respect or care, condemned even by God as it were. It is the meaning that is applied to the event and word that is the issue.This is how it was used against Ishita

Bala's mom declared her unfit as a DIL
Subbu abandoned her as unworthy of being a wife, unworthy of love
Prateek - ditto subbu

Take a look from this model - when something too traumatic happens in our life, we can't face or process the emotions, so we decide we are some form of Not OK. We make up a belief about ourselves that dictates our actions for the rest of our lives until the original traumatic emotions are faced and healed. The belief is subconscious and we will do anything to make the Not OK be OK.

When Ishu was declared infertile due to a medical cause TB, that was clearly not her fault but the way her environment treated, taunted, judged her. Ishu felt rejected and abandoned. So she subconsciously made up an erroneous belief that "I am unworthy" or "I am not good enough" She confused what happened to her with who she was a person, as a pure soul. In believing this, she rejected herself.

Then events happened that reinforced the belief I am unworthy for Ishu - Bala's mom, Subbu, Prateek, Mrs Iyyer obsession/desperation to get Ishu married - and then Raman marries her Sirf Ruhi Ke liye and then even uses that against her. p.s that's why this phrase sirf Ruhi Ke liye irks me.

Once at 15 she started believing I am unworthy, she subconsciously did a lot of things in her life from the tunnel vision lens of this belief, to correct what she believed made her not OK, Not worthy. She became a a praiseworthy, obedient, capable daughter, an educated and capable dentist, a praise worthy bahu, bhabhi, even wife and mother - in fact it is hard to find a fault with her but it is not enough. She still gets triggered into a paralysed silence when called baanj. I am not saying she isn't naturally all these things, I am saying she can't experience how awesome they are.

Now with that many achievements, capabilities, and accolades - who in their right mind would call her unworthy - what unfortunately matters is that she does, subconsciously.

@blue in your post, this is where I disagree. Worthiness and Confidence are an inside job. No-one and No-thing from the outside can give you inner worthiness or confidence in a way that is sustainable. Sure she will feel better if Raman praises her but it will be until the time someone rejects or disrespects her again and she will get hurt and triggered. She doesn't experience her own worth internally.

Look at her heroic efforts in the last two episodes, the ladies were clapping, Simmi said she was a hero, Mr & Mrs Bhalla were oozing with pride - yet she couldn't let it in the clear acknowledgement of her worth - maine kuchh nahin kiya- this wasn't just modesty.

Once Ishita faces her original pain of rejection, she will realize that:

it was an unlucky medical tragedy with a silver lining that made her strong
the problem is with the people that rejected and taunted her and were perhaps even jealous of her.
the belief I am unworthy she adopted is faulty - She is NOT her sterility, she is not the rejected.
all humans are inherently worthy of love - why would God, create anything unworthy, anything but perfection.

When she drops the belief, she will then fully accept and appreciate all that it is Ishita, the beautiful Ishita that others, love, admire and experience. She will be fully able to receive self-love, love from her husband and it was there today, with attitude but in spades.

Once Ishita recognizes her worth, she will automatically fully respect herself and then others will too. The energy she gives out will be different. Bala's mom won't dare taunt her, Raman won't disrespect her and Pervmeet the predator who has a nose for picking victims with worthiness issues aas-paas bhi nahin aayega

Would love to hear your feedback

Edited by eternalasha - 11 years ago

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Sree

@Katyayani_devi

Trailblazer

+ 6

Posted: 11 years ago

#50

Ishita whole past story is not shown.few things r shown n mentioned. Ya cvs will develop according to d story for future drama n epis. Ya ishita preggy original track may come also in future. Wat mentioned n shown is ishita got severe stomach ache n later it's revealed she has conceive probs. Her mother told to ishita tat she had some fever something like when too young may be teenage n done tests then docs said she has conceive probs n can't bear d babies n almost imposible n nothing much done abt it. So prev reports n later another doc confirming same it's almost confirm for ishita. On tat grounds subbu n subbu mom n many rejected her. So tats shown n mention till now.so cvs will develop frm this like did subbu mom hand is there r not.
Is there any strong reason for subbu mom to hate ishita.
Irrespective of story d subbu mom character is low mind n unhappy person n can't see other happiness. It's another type of pervertness n sick mind lol.

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What problem does exactly Subu' mom have with Ishita? - Page 5

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