~~Uttaran Jokes Center~~

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Pavani

@PavaniShiny

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Hi all post jokes in this thread.
"Silent lips may avoid many problems but Smiling lips may solve many problems"

Edited by shinybandi - 13 years ago

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Pavani

@PavaniShiny

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Q) How to Kill an Ant? (asked in exam for 5 marks.)

Student: Mix Chilli Powder wid Sugar & keep it outside d Ant's Hole... .. After eating, Ant will search for sum water near a water tank. Push ant in to it. Now ant will go to dry itself near fire. When it reaches near fire, put a bomb into fire. Then u admit wounded ant in ICU. Remove oxygen mask from its mouth n kill the ant

MORAL: Dnt play wid stdnts. We cn kill the ant for 15 marks also.

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Pavani

@PavaniShiny

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Brilliant answers by student who got 0%

Q.In which battle did Tipu Sultan die?
A.His last battle!

... ...Q.How do u stop acid indigestion?
A.Stop drinking acid!

Q.Where was the declaration of independence signed?
A.At the bottom of the page!

Q.What's the main reason for divorce?
A.Marriage!

Q Ganga flows in which state?
A.Liquid state!

Q.When was Mahatma ghandi born?
A.On his birthday! LOOOL kia dimag hai...:P:P:P

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Pavani

@PavaniShiny

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

kanjoos family:

.
.

girl 1- muje mere lover ke sath bike pe jate mere papa ne dekh liya.

.

girl2- acha phir kya hua????

.

girl1- fir kya ,

papa ne BUS ke paise wapas maang liye !!!.. :-P

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Pavani

@PavaniShiny

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

Top Answers Of
Teachers
If They Don't Know The Answers:
1)I Think The Question Is Wrong..
2)I Will Tell You Tomorrow..
3)Don't Ask Foolish Questions..
4)You Will Study This In The Next
Class..
And The Most Important One Is:
5)Nice Question,Raise Your Hands
Who Know The Answer :)

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Pavani

@PavaniShiny

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 13 years ago

A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except our Santaji.

He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"

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radash

@radash

Inactive

Posted: 13 years ago

baby name bihari style

A BIHARI WAS WORKING
IN KOLKATA, AND DID NOT MEET HIS

wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna ( Bihar ).
At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his
colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy
event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...

The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the
wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.

The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"

The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken
care,then the name would be "DWIVEDI"

If it is the third neighbour then it would
be "TRIVEDI",

If it is the fourth neighbour then it
would be "CHATURVEDI"

If its the fifth neighbour then it would
be "PANDEY"...

After listening to this, questions followed.

What if it is a mixture of neighbours?
"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...

And what if the wife is too shy to tell
the name of the neighbour?
Then it would be "SHARMA"...

But what if she refuses to divulge the
name of the neighbour?
Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...

If she does not remember the name then?
"It is YAAD-AV"

But who knows whether the child resulted
from a rape?
Then it will be named "DOSHI"...

Finally, if the child happened because
of wife ' s burning desire?
Then he will be named "JOSHI"...

And if the whole country had made efforts
for the happy arrival?...
"DESHPANDEY."

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.Umsasl.

@.Umsasl.

Sparkler

Posted: 13 years ago

A man went to hell and asked
the Yamraj if he can call his wife.
yamraj said "u can do that"
after man spoke to his wife..
he asked how much to pay yamraj
yamraj said.."hell to hell is free"

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.Umsasl.

@.Umsasl.

Sparkler

Posted: 13 years ago

Perfect example of confidence :

A junior in an office dialed his boss's number by mistake & said:
Hey, send a coffee in my cabin in two minutes !...boss shouted :do you know whom you're talking to ?!!!!!!
Junior : no!
Boss: i'm the boss of this office.
Junior (in the same tone) : & do uknow whom you're talking to?
Boss: no!
Junior: thank God. (and disconnected da phone)...

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.Umsasl.

@.Umsasl.

Sparkler

Posted: 13 years ago

#10

I am the ninth letter:

TEACHER: Kashif, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Kashif: I is ...
TEACHER: No, Kashif. Always say, "Iam."
Kashif: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."