~~Uttaran Jokes Center~~ - Page 5

A Funny man & his wife go to a coffee house. Funny man buys 2 cups of coffee. Funny Man: Drink quickly... drink quickly... before it gets cold. Wife: But why... Funny Man: They charge Rs. 50 for hot coffee and Rs 100 for cold coffee

Do you know a lot of people askstupid questions?? > 10 most stupid questions' people usually ask in > obvious situations and > some equally stupid answers. > > 1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends... > Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here? > Answer:- Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over > here.. > > 2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high heeled shoes steps on > your feet... > Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt? > Answer:- No, not at all, I'm onlocal anesthesia... > why don't you try again. > > 3. At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask... > Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people. > Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you? > > 4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter > Stupid Question:- Is the 'Paneer Butter Masala' dish good?? > Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated > cement. We occasionally also spit in it. > > 5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meetsyou after > years... > Stupid Question:- Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big. > Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk > yourself. > > 6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask... > Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good? > Answer:- No, he's a miserablewife beating, > insensitive lout...it's just > the money. > > 7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call... > Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping? > Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in africa > marry or not. And you thought I was sleeping... you > dumb witted moron. > > 8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair... > Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut? > Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding... > > 10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks... > Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke. > Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle...it was a piece of chalk and > now it's in flames!!!

Boss: "Beware of 50-50-90 rule!"
Employee: "What do you mean Sir?"
Boss: "Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is 90% probability that you will get it wrong!"

Girl-Nice Mobile.
Where Did U Buy?
Boy-I Won Dis In A Running Race.
Girl-How Many People Participated?
Boy- MOBILE OWNER, POLICE And ME

Sardar Want To Get Married.
He Gave A Ad in Newspaper.
"WIFE WANTED"
Next Day He Got 1000 of Letters Saying
"PLEASE TAKE MY WIFE"

A sardar sees lot of guys running on the highway. Sardar: Why're the guys running, what they're doing?
Bystander: A marathon race is going on.
Sardar: What do they get from that?
Bystander: The winner will get a prize.
Sardar: Then why are the others running?

Medical Shayari
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you don't breathe, you expire!
Wah Wah, kya baat hai

In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don't have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram's birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna'a birth place

Teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him,
Little boy:
"Teacher are you sleeping in class?"
Teacher:
"No I am not sleeping in class."
Little boy:
"What were you doing sir ?"
Teacher:
"I was talking to God."
The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him...
Teacher:
"young man, you are sleeping in my class."
Little boy:
"No not me sir, I am not sleeping."
Angry teacher:
"What were you doing.??"
Little boy:
"I was talking to God."
Angry teacher:
"What did He say??"
Little boy:
"God said He never spoke to you yesterday...

KID :- Why some of ur hair are
white dad ?
DAD : - Every time a son make his dad
unhappy ,
one of his father's hair turns white ...
... ... KID :- Now understand why
grandpa's hairs are all white.