A Story of two broken heart :27-(Epilogue)pg:14 - Page 6

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Posted: 8 years ago
#51
Hey yasmin...
Nice update...but sometimes i feel story is incomplete..or may be your pace is fast.thats why...try to explain everything..minute details..like i did not understand thief part...but...u have improved remarkably..n also giving big updates..which i enjoyed alot..loving swasan more...dhabba part was best..n plzz..reveal the stalker soon..n reason for his stalking/love for swara..will wait...

Talia
luana thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#52
Full of suspense part Yasmin..
I really loved today's update...
loved how swara was missing sanskaar..it was really confusing n scaring to think who was stalking swara..who was behind her don't know but now I think it can't be vivek..someone is totally crazy behind her..eagerly to know about the stalker..do update soon..
thanks for the pm.
P.s all the best for ur upcoming exam 😊
Edited by luana - 8 years ago
1086832 thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#53
Chapter:16
Swara is entering her car when she notices the dupatta she had thrown out of her window the other day in a car parked ahead of hers!! As she goes to see, the car starts and Swara decides to follow!! Swara follows the car and finds it parked outside what looks like a jungle! Swara goes to the car and looks around..! She spots someones footsteps in the jungle and decides to follow!! As she follows ... she comes to what looks like a mansion and notices her dupatta kept on the verandah! She goes near the house and peeps in the house..!! The house looks idle but is furnished..!! She looks around and is shocked to see her .. 'Wedding picture !! She notices her name written freshly in blood and is petrified..! She immediately runs off... as a hand is shown with blood dripping! On the other side.. Sanskar is back in town and he meets Adi at airport n says that he has a surprise planned for Swara .. n Adi says Swara is coming to office only! Sanskar goes to office!Sanskar is driving towards office n lost in flashbacks of Swara .. n says.. 'Staying away from u .. i have realised ur value n i promise on ur birthday i wont go away from u..EVER!' Swara calls Sanskar n Sanskar says he is in London Airport! Swara says.. 'come fast.. i dunno who this is ..who' n she begs Sanskar to come back soon n the call ends!! Sanskar is freaked out! Swara is running all scared on the roads.. n Sanskar is driving! Swara ends up bumping into someone..(Looks like Sanskar) Swara turns n sees..! Sanskar extends his hand to Swara ...! Sanskar helps Swara get up n Swara stares at him wide eyed n speechless..! Sanskar shakes Swara ! Swasan hug! Sanskar asks Swara how she got there n how she is.. but Swara breaks down! Sanskar asks Swara who was harassing her.. n that he wont spare him..! Swara is too scared n cant speak! She finally manages to tell him everything! Sanskar is growing furious! Swara tells Sanskar to leave from there as the guy is dangerous! Swasan hug again!! Sanskar says..dun worry.. jus tell me where he stays..! Swara asks him not to go there.. as he is crazy n can do anything!! Sanskar says.. he wont do anything coz i wont leave him in that condition! I will end ur fear..forever! Swasan come to stalker house but its deserted n Sanskar comments that seems he eloped!! Swara shows the location where her pic was n her name writen in blood! Swara says..she was telling truth n breaks down.. Sanskar supports n asks her to calm down.. n assures that he believes her..! He tells her that no one can do anything to her in his presence! Adi come to home n says.. its a top secret..its Swara budday next day! Adi informs all about Sanskar arrival too! Sanskar helps Swara towards the car and Swara wonders who it is.. n what if he did again!! Sanskar slams the door n Swara is worried..! Sanskar says..will make his condition such that he wont dare show his face again! Swara asks him to calm down as anger wont help n gives her promise!Sanskar hand is bleeding n Swara pours water n says.. why u caused this pain.. i cant see u in pain n Sanskar says..i cant see fear in ur eyes..! I wont leave him! Swasan hug n Swara says..ur near me.. i dun fear anyone! Promise me ..u wont separate me from ur arms ever.. Sanskar promises!Swara phone rings..She receives! Stalker says.. why did u bring Sanskar between us?? Now i will see him!! Swara is petrified.. Sanskar notices!Stalker says.. i m coming to meet u soon in ur budday party.. ! Wait for me.. urs Dev
Uttra and Dadi regret not having been caring enouf to notice Swara predicament.. n Uttra suggests to Cancel party! Swara is holding Sanskar arm n Sanskar says... Sanskar doesnt change his decision coz of some crazy person...Let me see who dares touch Swara in Sanskar presence..! This party is on! Sanskar says.. he isnt worried... n that stalker should worry coz he wont spare him!! Swara watches! She goes to her room n saree n jewellery for party are set out!! She rues that she isnt ready yet! Righ then her moby rings and she receives! She asks.. who it is... n Dev says.. its me the one whom all including u want to keep me away from u...but remember..that all these hurdleswill fall in front of the passion of my love! Dev says..u can hate me all uwant..but i will make u mine..! Ppl love as a hobby .. but i love u as a need..ur the only thing in my life..! I have to bring u to myself! Swara says.. ur an idiot.. in Swara life.. only Sanskar is there.. Babaji has made Swara for Sanskar . .n Swara belongs to Sanskar ! She shout on Stalker.. n Dev says.. swear on ur Babaji.. i will change that destiny.. after today.. Swara will be of only one person.. Dev! I m coming to take u.. forever! He cuts call..! Swara scared! Sanskar comes and Swara breaks down n hugs him! She tells about what stalker said! Sanskar is more furious!Sanskar assures Swara nothing will happen! He makes her sit on the bed! Sanskar says..when Sanskar is with u.. near u.. nobody can pass near u or put bad eye on u... Now smile! Swara does..!Sanskar says.. now u wont cry again.. Swara says.. i was worried for u!! Sanskar says.. when Sanskar with Swara .. Swara doesnt have to worry n when Swara with Sanskar .. Sanskar doesnt have to worry! Smile!! Sanskar asks her to get ready! She hesitates! Swara decks up in saree n comes ... Sanskar watches! Swasan eyelock..! Sanskar makes Swara sit before mirror n starts to put jewellery on her! He puts Sindoor on her! Swasan walk down the stairs.. arms in arm... Sanskar in black n Swara in pink all wish Swara n clap! The song begins.. 'Tum sath ho jab apne'! Swasan are so happy.. looking at each other.. holding hands n dancing! Dev comes... holding a guitar! Swasan back hug! Swasan are lost in each other Sanskar plays guitar..! All are enjoying! Sanskar twirls Swara around n swasan hug... All clap!




Police Commissioner comes n asks if all is well n Sanskar nods .. Dadi says..guess he wont come back..! Right then..Sanskar feels a bit restless n looks around.. n sees someone tied up. .n is alerted! Swara wonders where Sanskar is... n Sanskar ungags the person! . Dev ( karanvir bohra face is shown)comes near Swara n whispers in her ears.. Swara ... I LOVE U Swara ! Swara freezes!

Precape Swara screams.. Sanskar ! All rush to Swara n Sanskar asks..what happened! Swara says..he has come.. ! Swara says..dunno where he went.. i saw him..! Swasan hug!
Edited by kashaf789 - 8 years ago
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Posted: 8 years ago
#54
I'm seriously late, in fact very very late. You know right, personal commitments drain up most of our energy. I'm really sorry for not replying. And I hope I'm forgiven. Coming to the chapters, I loved all of them. But you know a little bit of spark is missing, maybe fast paced story. It would be wonderful if you could explain the tiniest of details but I'm also happy to see longer updates. And swasan scenes are incredible. Karanvir Bohra is the new villian in swasan's story. I have seen him Qubool Hai. He played a very good role as a bad boy until everything's finished. I have even liked the sanam-ahil pair but not to the extent of my swasan. Swasan are my dil ki dhadkan, my janus. Update soon.
Love you loads
Nivi
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Posted: 8 years ago
#55
Poor swasan
Eagerly waiting for your next update
Thanks for the pm
krishuuuuuuuuuu thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#56
Ooo yasmin...
Awesome part...dev is torturing swara mentally..he is complete psychopath..worried for swasan.but enjoyed alot...wondering what will dev plan next..update soon ..

Talia
1086832 thumbnail
Posted: 8 years ago
#57
Chapter:17
Dev says.. i love u Swara .. Swara freezes.. (Karanvir face is shown )! Swara screams.. Sanskar ! All rush to Swara n Sanskar asks..what happened! Swara says..he has come.. ! Swara says..dunno where he went.. i saw him..! Swasan hug! Security says.. house is totally locked out.. he has to be around here...! Police says..wont spare him n goes to look around.. Sanskar goes but Swara stops him n says..dun go.. stay with me! Swara clutches on to ! Constanble look around the house...different rooms ..cant find! Police finds a costume..!! Security says.. theres a lot of crowd.. he mite escape..! Guard suggest to stop party..!Sanskar agrees!As guests are leaving one after another.. Dev comes to guard.. n Swara points n Sanskar says.. STOP..! Dev runs.. Sanskar chases!Sanskar almost catches him but Dev pushes n runs..!! Dev leaps n falls on a vending trolley.. Sanskar leaps on it but misses Dev ! Dev loses his coat n acts a blind fellow n passes near Sanskar .who helps him as he asks to...!! Dev grins! He leaves Sanskar a note which reads.. just like i came in the party today.. n walked past u...after meeting Swara .. like this i will fly away with Swara ..right before ur eyes!! Swara is lost in words of Dev ..that i will make u MINE! She is scared! She faints.. n Sanskar holds in time! Dev cuts a heartshaped cake for celebrating Swara budday. .n says..i wanted to spend day with u .but alas.. but from hereon ...u will be with me! Swara is on the swing in the terrace n overhears footsteps n she is scared! She hears the word Swara n runs.. n thinks its Sanskar n hugs n says.. Sanskar . he is here.! Its Dev ..who hugs Swara tightly n says.. Swara .no one is after u...! The one who was.. u came running into his arms! Ur mine.. only mine!She screams n gets up. .its a dream!! She is sweating.. Sanskar comes!She hugs Sanskar tightly n is shaking.. Sanskar reassures... n helps her lie down n sleep! Swara holds Sanskar hand.. n sleeps.. ! Sanskar removes his hand n walks around... n is fuming!! Dev cuts his hand n blood is oozing..! He converses with Swara pic n says...its paining..but With this blood i will fill ur maang.. (in the pic)n says.. i love u .. Missus Dev ...i do love u... n i will have u! ! Sanskar is wrapping cloth around his arms.. n getting ready to BOX n do Tai-Chi
He is shirtless.. n recollects Swara scared expression, chasing Dev and Dev blind man guise! He fumes and punches hard on the punchbag!He kicks the punchbag angrily! He continues to fume... n sweats! He strengthens his grip on the punchbag! Swara comes n sees! She rues ..'This anger.. this anguish is all coz of me! Maybe he is upset that he culdn catch Dev for me n thats why i m so scared! For me, he is so anxious n hurting himself!' Swara decides that.. 'Now i wont let Sanskar feel my fear! Howmuchever i feel scared, i will keep smiling before Sanskar .. only then his anger will calm down!' Sanskar continues to punch! Next day morning! Sanskar wakes up and looks around for Swara ..!! He wonders where Swara is! Sanskar calls out for Swara ! Right then Swara comes with a cup of Coffee n says.. right here! Sanskar inquires where she was! Swara says.. right here! Sanskar asks..where were u?? Swara says.. 'Early in the morning.. no good morning wishes? Staright away u started with ur questions!' Swara goes to keep the tray of coffee on the bed! Sanskar grabs her n says..'Where were u??' Swara says..'What did u see in my hand?? Coffeecup..right?? Well had gone to make coffee for u!'Sanskar asks if Swara is ok! Swara nods n says she is fine! Swara asks him to drink coffee.. n tell her how it is! Sanskar takes a sip and fakes.. erm.. n then says..its very nice! Swara smiles and hugs Sanskar !
All are at dining table n Sanskar looks at Swara intently! Swara is quiet but looks troubled! Dadi asks Sanskar about special security! Sanskar says.that its.already done.. police will be deployed outside the gate 24x7! Adi comes..n says..that he came to take Sanskar to office for signing deal with the London Clients! Sanskar asks Adi as to how he could ask him to come. .knowing the situation at home! Adi says that.. deal can be signed by only Sanskar ! Sanskar opposes! Swara tells him that she is fine ...n that all are there with her!! She tells him to go ..as she wont like him leaving work for her! Swara asks him to come early.. Sanskar asks her to take care n leaves!Sanskar in meeting with clients n Swara calls but Sanskar phone is on silent Swara overhears footsteps!She goes to check.. n senses someones presence! A pair of legs are shown n Swara calls out as to who it is! But there is no answer! Swara then turns n looks outside.. n sees the guards n feels assured! She closes the window in her room, goes near the door of her room n looks out but feels relieved n ...goes n sits on the bed..! However, she is still scared! Sanskar tells Adi that he is going home as Swara mite be waiting! He sees his moby n sees missed calls from Swara n wonders if Swara is in any problem! Swara is combing her hair n overhears footsteps! She goes to call Sanskar but light goes off!! Right then she hears uttra shriek.. n goes to check! Swara is shivering n shaking! She goes to check on Uttra n calls for servants.. but no answer! Swara goes in uttra room n sees that she is lying unconscious! she tries to wake her up but no response! Swara goes to call Docs! Sanskar keeps trying Swara cell but cant get thru.. he is worried!! Adi asks him to try again! He does! Swara comes to her room n just then her cell rings! She picks up!Its Dev! Dev says.. M coming.. to take u away ..n forever! Swara is shocked n freezes!
Precap -- Swara is in the hall... Dev is standing in the alley of first floor and says.. I have come to take u Swara .. ! Swara looks around! Dev says ...Looking for me?? Well i reside in u..ur heart.. n if u look proper ..u will find me waiting for u!! Swara is shivering and goes n sits on the sofa n is badly scared! Dev says.. now i will take u with me..u have made me wait a lot. .now this distances will end n immediately!
Edited by kashaf789 - 8 years ago
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Posted: 8 years ago
#58
Res 😳me first 🥳
Unres
Good morning, dearie. Hope you have a great day ahead. I have just now finished the 17th chapter and I am really elated seeing the effort you are putting for this story for eg, you started to take care of the minute details. But, if you don't mind I would love to give you another suggestion. Just don't write big big paragraphs. Let a paragraph contain not more than five lines. This will make the story very presentable and easy for the readers to read too.
Coming to the chapter, I felt it was upto the mark. Dev's obsession and swara's fear wre wonderfully penned down. I'm loving this villian ( I'm surprised myself because I'm a person who can't bear any villian in my fav's love story). Maybe because of his portrayal. Update soon.
Love you
Nivi
Edited by Nivijo - 8 years ago
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Posted: 8 years ago
#59

Originally posted by: Nivijo

Res😳me first🥳


Will wait for your feedback
anika2 thumbnail
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Posted: 8 years ago
#60
Nice... u r expressing all the characters especially swara's fear and dev's obsession very nicely. Update next part soon

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