DARK KNIGHT- A SwaSan FF- T2- DELETED- AN- PG 1

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Posted: 9 years ago

#71

this story is unique yet so interesting 👏

the royal descriptions

the scenes

sanskar's past...

all are just awesome..⭐️

loved it in spite of i m not that much attracted to history and royal king stories😳

thanks for the pm😛

update more soon😊

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#72

Originally posted by: The.Lannister
Res

Unreserve:

Woohoo 10 pages full of reviews for chapter 8🥳

Chapter 8:

I read this early in the morning. And what a fab way to begin the day really! I so wanted to write my comments immediately but for Viji's & your work I always need a laptop to do proper justice to the comments. So finally now that I got my lappie here goes...

That horse ride was equally about things which didn't happen 😉 as about things which did. So much tangible chemistry there☺️ And even through all this you can feel Swara's shock. She has suffered the worst kind of betrayal & is now at the mercy of a traitor And when simple hate & anger could have come to her rescue, she couldn't hate him either because he keeps sending her all these mixed signals. The poor little thing is left completely defenseless.

Good thing Swara didn't try running away with that horse😆 If the horse is his & not just something he stole from the stables no way is it gonna obey Swara😆 Bekar mein would have landed on her behind😆 But ofc we must appreciate her for trying. Even in such a situation she is trying to find a way out. A fighter👏
Sanskaar in a paggar!

I could so picture Swara standing there with her mouth in a perfect O as Sanskaar disguised himself & then her jaw hitting the ground as he lies through his teeth to the old man😆

RP _/\_ Bas ek baar bolta hai par sabko chup kar deta hai. Just like in the show!😆 No comments about anyone else there🤢

I loved the village scene Shru. The best part about it was the old man, him reminiscing about their beloved Prince Sanskaar, him not believing that Prince Sanskaar was a traitor & finally proving his wisdom by guessing correctly about Sanskaar. What a man!👏 Sanskaar must have been a leader of the masses to be this popular among the common public that they not only remember him but also defend him & are willing to keep his secret 😳 The words of the old man would have been such a balm for Sanskaar😳

Swara, leaving a bangle behind would have achieved nothing 🤣 The only smart man in that palace is with you. The rest of them will not understand any subtle clues you leave dear. There is no point in even trying😆
Try to see with more than just eyes! Heed those words Swara😳 The best things are often only felt but rarely seen😳

Lanny 🤗🤗

Re 10 pages already- I know!! I was like 😲😲 How did this happen?! 😃

You made my Saturday with these comments- thank you! I never mind waiting for takes from some of you as whenever it is posted, it is guaranteed to be insightful and really worth reading 😳

I love the horse ride and I think you might like more of it in 9 😉. Exactly right about Swara- she really doesn't know what to think. She's had no time to digest and when she tries to, he throws her for a loop again! Poor thing indeed but of course her temporary discomfort will only lead to such a reward right?! 😉

Haha- I can so see the horse responding to a piercing whistle and throwing the Princess off to land squarely on her little bottom! And Sanskaar chuckling! And yes, I want Swara to have a fighting spirt and not be a wallflower type.

You like the pager? 😳 Swara with 3 Os as someone else put too 😆

Poor RP- patience with a woman like Sujju would be needed but given he was in so much stress at his son's latest "kaand" he had enough 😆

So happy you liked the village scenes. You know that the original plan wasn't to make him guess who Sanskaar was but as I wrote it seemed to just flow that way and I so wanted Sanskaar to have someone say something kind about him. At a later date he will have that 😉 but for now- this was the way! Love the comment about the only smart man being with Swara 😆 and yes, there was not much chance there but again she is trying everything she can- poor thing! And why lie, I wanted the chance for him to hold her hand and make her wear the bangle 😆. You liked the advice I threw in na? I felt it was nice to make someone like that say it for her to mull over later!

Much to talk about on the next one like always so looking forward to that. 😉 Love ya,

S x

Edited by tootiefrootie11 - 9 years ago

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#73

Originally posted by: Nynaeve
Res
UnRes-

Shru, beautiful chapter - full of SwaSan😊

Dusk to Dawn - that really describes both their journey and Swara's thought process. Poor girl, for someone who was a child of light, I think for once she welcomes the darkness - paradoxically the darkness illuminates more than light for it is in one's bleakest moments that we realise the true nature of the people we know.

Ragini twisted recounting of the events - well nothing less than what was expected of her - truly diabolical (reminds of a minion quote " Cannot go to hell, Satan still has a restraining order against me") this would be Ragini. I can almost imagine her dancing in glee (which she would if she thought she could get away with it). For her it is a clear victory, even better than Swara being killed, as Swara's 'elopement' has no chance of forgiveness whereas her death might not sway Lakshya easily. In a way I am glad to see the depths to which Ragini has fallen, the comeuppance would be as worse. (please ensure that)

Swara is a true princess, inspite of being shocked at her sister's betrayal and the revelation that Sanskaar is as sane as the next man, despite the fear and desperation she makes an attempt to send a message. Fate foiled her plans (yaay - after all Destiny has a better plan).

The old man - I am sure he recognised Sanskaar and did have an inkling that Swara was not a willing party - which is why he said that things are not always what they seem and unknowingly has planted the seeds of doubt - which surely will blossom into love

And yes, loved that scene where Sanskaar slips the bracelet over Swara's wrist, his words full of love but with his eyes remaining cold. Oh what a visual that would be - goosebumps.

Awaiting the next update - you have got me absolutely addicted😊

Nyna

Nyna my dear 🤗

Such a lovely unres this was! Thank you so much! Yes, a SwaSan oriented phase is now upon us so am excited too!

So perfectly put about my title -👏 and you are so right about the relief in this darkness would have for our child of the light (love the expression).

I love that minion quote! ⭐️ And yes, entirely apt for Ragini! She will rejoice all right especially in the short term. As for my intent with the Ragini track- I think how I approach is might surprise a few as basically I don't to get over bogged down with Ragini's endless drama but still, she is a key player so of course the plot space will reflect that!

I so want everyone to see the strong, warrior side of Swara- the fighter who won't give up, unless she willingly surrenders arms 😉

Correct on the old man- he was pretty sure who Sanskaar was but clearly trusted him and despite having some inkling that Swara was not there entirely from choice, he saw that Sanskaar wasn't going to harm her, so instead he gave her some sound advice, which we hope she will register, even if sub-consciously. So happy you liked that bangle scene!

I have made a start on 9 but a lot as ever to cover so that's the plan for Sunday, with a major work presentation too . Hopefully you will like that 9 too will be rather SwaSan centred!

Lots of love,

Shru xoxo

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#74

Originally posted by: Niyatiswaragini
Resss 😃😃😃
Unresd

Shruti I really liked this chapter dear👏👏, filled with beauty of language n exceptional story frame.
I always run off words when it comes to praising you, you are extreamly talented.😳 I really loved the entire beginning where in swara and sanskar are riding. It is clearly defining swara's plight, she is betrayed by her sister, as u said pretty and soft, these words never suit her. But swara thought she was, how. Can someone be so heartless and selfish. Sanskar is rude yet protective I really loved this side of sanskar he really cares for swara.
😳
Sanskar is really determined and has a tremendous personality. This dialouges are so convincing and adorable that one can end up agreeing to his word but swara resisted till she could, but ultimately no option left she was forced to go with him to MOUD, I really liked the whole scene of the horse ride and his adoring the common man avtar. Hats off. 👏

Mahesh mahal part was bit annoying for me, how could ragini all the time losse her senses n to any extent blame swara, i dint expected her to be soo cheap . Ragini really surprises me by her amazing extent of being desperate and cheap. She blamed swara saying sanskar n swara loved each other so they eloped. Wow!! I thought she would be blaming sanskar for making swara his hostage and taking her away that was wat sanskar told her to do but no, she never leaves a stone unturned to defame swara. Wat a sister. I really love janki's character her, she trusts swara alot, I think annpaurna is also a bit not satisfied with ragini's theory of SwaSan eloping. But let's see, what will they decide.

That scene of the grandfather , sanskar n cottage . awesome I loved it the most weather he wore a mask of pretending to care n love swara but I liked it alot, I think he really somewhere in his feels this. Swara tried to communicate with those people but to her sigh , he couldn't , sanskar is really smart in these tactics. So the family 's son had been in army with sanskar, it appears that something fishy is surely there. That old man is not ready to believe that sanskar can be traitor. Swara please understand him he saved u so smartly dude. He deny but he has some sort of feelings for swara. I really liked old man's last lines warning swara that what seems to be always can't be truth. Hope swara takes his words seriously. Wat I m thinking is that the old man knows about them or might have doubted???

Anyways this was an amazing package shru . thankss for update. Phew I m feeling relieved I unresd it soon.

Love

🤗
Niyati

Hey Niyati 🤗

Wow- thanks a lot for such detailed comments again! Awww- what a nice thing to say about my writing- thank you! 😳

Glad you liked the subtle romance of that ride. Like Shruti (Lannister) said much happened there without anything happening 😳. Very true about Sanskaar- his rudeness too is hiding his care! What a man!

Really glad you liked the scene build up and subsequent for Moud.

What to do with the Palace parts?! Those people are so annoying- why do you think I wanted to remove SwaSan from there to craft a fresh romance? Ragini knows that blaming Sanskaar would earn sympathy for Swara and Sanskaar knew this was her plan when he left which is why he told her that he knew she would never tell people he kidnapped Swara

Glad you liked the scenes with the old man etc. Yes, the old man guessed or had a pretty good idea who Sanskaar was and therefore he said all he did- to reassure him if he was Sanskaar that common people would believe in him 😃

Thanks again Niyati, nice to read such positive feedback 😳.

Love, Shru x

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#75

Originally posted by: pearl.16
Amazing !! I just read last few updates in one go n all of them were superb !!
Do update soon.. Keep me updated !!

Thank you so much! Really pleased you liked all you read so far:) I'll keep sending you the PMs on future updates, thanks for supporting me x

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#76

Originally posted by: rayab_rajpoot
this story is unique yet so interesting 👏
the royal descriptions
the scenes
sanskar's past...
all are just awesome..⭐️
loved it in spite of i m not that much attracted to history and royal king stories😳
thanks for the pm😛
update more soon😊

Hi Rayab! Thank you so much for your kind comments. Am pleased that even a non-historical fiction lover finds this story interesting- that is a true test for a writer and am very happy to read you are enjoying this so much! Please keep reading, lots more SwaSan coming up!

Best wishes,

Shru x

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tootiefrootie11

@tootiefrootie11

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#77

Originally posted by: Forum.Maniac
Shru, I love you for this chapter 🤗
This has got to be the best chapter till now from your FF.
I had seriously turned into a fangirl in the wait for this one and you didn't disappoint as usual ❤️

Swara behaves so typically like she used to in this one, acting wary of Sanskaar and still not able to believe how evil her sister is. But I don't blame her, she was pushed into this situation with barely time to grasp what was happening. You depicted her state of confusion really well and all those failed attempts to run away from Sanskaar had me smiling. She is stuck with him

Sanskaar, on the other hand, what do I even say about him. There's probably not even a single thing that he did in this chapter which I didn't enjoy. That cold behaviour towards Swara while feeling guilty about himself, the lies after lies he piled up about them eloping and how he couldn't bear to part with her 🤣, that kiss and sliding that bangle on her while giving that silent warning to her 😆 and finally his reaction on finally someone who doesn't remember him as the traitor. 😭❤️

Loved Sanskaar's interactions with the old man and the fact that he left off money for them, awwh ❤️ and also the advice to Swara I hope she listens to it 😆

Eagerly waiting for the next part, Shru. You've yet again changed the dynamics of their relationship and I can't wait to see how it affects their interactions. 😃 Continue soon 😳

Sana- love you too hon 🤗

Wow- you liked this so much?! I am really surprised, I was worried how to deal after the drama of 7! But the responses have been so sweet!

Totally right about Swara- she was totally thrown for a loop and before she can digest what has already happened, Sanskaar throws her more curve balls! And yes, she is lost and confused, which might continue in different degrees. Sanskaar is so dreamy na? I'm so in love with this man! He does feel bad but is totally masking it- let's see who blinks first?! 😉

I wanted Swara to see the goodness and be even more confused 😆 and yes, hopefully the advice the old man gave will be taken on board at some point by Swara.

I have a feeling you will really enjoy chapter 9. I have made a start, will be working on it tomorrow 😳.

Thanks so much Sana, much love xoxo

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NITI VYAS

@nut-kut-86

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#78

Aapki restitution series padi thi .bahut pasand aayi par kabhi cumnt nahin kar paayi .sach kahu tho aapne jab kaha ki yeh hisory series se relatd hai tho socha shayad pasand na aaye isliye pehle chapter padke chodne ka maan tha par pehle chapter ke baad har chapter dilschap laga..aap bahut aacha likhti hai.nxt tym update k liya pm dena plz.

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foresight

@foresight

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#79

really nice one. swara as was expected to do her best to run away from the captivity of prince sanskar, but she has been in too much shock to process all the information that she has seen. she is hoping that palace will be her salvation when it will turn out to be her death wish. i hope she wakes up to that at some point that running away from sanskar is one thing, and running towards the palace something else.

i liked how the old grandfather recognised who sanskar was. the subtle indication you had given, made me feel he would and also that sanskar would try to help them when he found out about the son. what was beautiful was the message that the grandfather gave sanskar about trusting him and subtle to swara, who i am sure will realise it at some point after your turning point.

all the women taken in by ragini...i am not surprised. i am glad janaki along with sharmista at least raised some question, but ones that never last long. am i sure egoist laksh having being rejected by one sister for his brother, will now willingly marry the other one to rub it in and show the others he has moved on...which wouldnt be tough for him.

sanskar will try to make it into the castle at some point to find the sword he was looking for. wonder if swara will be there by his side, trusting him by then.

waiting for the next part.