SwaSan OS: Dyuta Parva/ Karna Parva Day 16.

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Sanavi

@Sanavi

Voyager

Posted: 9 years ago

#21

Hey
Thnx for the PM. This is such a nice fresh piece of writing. Seriously I'm frustrated with the current track , all with no brains.
Thnk god Characters in ur story used their brains nd resolved the matter.

Nice OS dear. Do write a sequel.

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manasi

@manasie23

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#22

Viji🤗
The first thing in the morning I come here and find your pm and when I see reference to Maharabharat it just makes me double happy.. Well I think both you and Saku have some affinity towards Mahabharat...

First Ramprasad's character has not being explored at all by the cv's of the show which is just a waste of an actor... All he does is 'yes bhaisaa, no bhaisaa' which really just manages to irk me.. But here the way you have explained with a brief history that why he must be the way he is was absolutely brilliant and when he finally decides to come out of his Bhaisaa's shell to protect his son was 👏

Indian legal system has sooo many loopholes and I so wanted Sanskaar to come up with thm... Why I think here Swara, Sanskaar and Ramprasad managed to do.. Ohh and this Annapoorna, I just cant believe this lady... She does not want her ladlaa to go to jail did she ever wonder what Sujata had been through when her son was exiled for 5 years and they actually thought he might be dead... This lady is truly beyond my understanding

Finally my SwaSan distances once created may take a llng time resolve them but atleast here Sanskaar has made an unconsious effort and shown some hope which made help Swara fight for their even harder ...

I truly truly loved this Oneshot.. It was nothing short of sheer excellence...

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Sneha Ray

@sneharay

Voyager

+ 4

Posted: 9 years ago

#23

Nice OS..their plan was superb..atlast things are getting better between Swasan..ram prasad's characterisaton is well defined

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#24

Originally posted by: sneharay
Nice OS..their plan was superb..atlast things are getting better between Swasan..ram prasad's characterisaton is well defined

Hey Sneha. ...thanks yaar. 😊

I wanted to show SwaSan working together to oppose Ragini. And Ram Prasad, poor chap, is completely ignored on the serial. 😆 I am sure, he must have brains and a spine, after all, he is Sanskaar's father ! 😊

Very glad you liked the OS.

Cheers

Viji

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#25

Originally posted by: Sanavi
Hey
Thnx for the PM. This is such a nice fresh piece of writing. Seriously I'm frustrated with the current track , all with no brains.
Thnk god Characters in ur story used their brains nd resolved the matter.

Nice OS dear. Do write a sequel.

Hi Sanavi...thanks a lot. 🤗 Happy to hear you liked this OS. I'm also getting a bit upset with the unnecessary and contrived MU in the present track, I wanted to show a different side of things by writing how SwaSan could gradually but steadily resolve their misunderstandings, and also work together to counter Ragini. I also wanted to show a solid role for Ram Prasad. ...poor guy is given no role in the serial. 😉

Hope to write a sequel OS, but will be most likely after I return from Holiday--January 1st week. Shall surely Pm you once I post.

Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago

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Cogito_Ergo_Sum

@Cogito_Ergo_Sum

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#26

Originally posted by: tootiefrootie11
Res Viji dearest, been in a car for around 11.5 hours so need to be fully functional to comment on this:) X

Hey Shru...🤗

Yikes, almost 12 hours on the road huh? Sounds quite grueling. Take rest sis. Catch ya tomorrow your time. 😊

Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago

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ritika52

@ritika52

Explorer

Posted: 9 years ago

#27

wat a story...seriously...

beautifully blended with the mahabharat...

such a nice os...

wish u convert it to ts or 4s smthin...showing their life ahead after these revelations of feelings...

n put in some more of those swasanlicious moments...

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Purbi

@Purbishona

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 9 years ago

#28

Viji. Its a masterpiece.
The blending of Mahabharata with the story made it awesome.
The characterisation of Ramprasad was very well..
His hidden feelings, concern for his son, pains and communication with Swara .. You penned down all so perfectly.
DP and AP reminded me about Dhritrastra and Gandhari frm Mahabharata.. Sanskar is a mixed version of Arjuna and Krishna.. Swara's last interaction with Sanskar was mindblowing .. She told the exact things the viewers wanted to hear..
Write more. Your every work is immensely brilliant stuff..
🤗 for the PM..

Love,

~Purbi.

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SIMI

@simsen23

Navigator

Posted: 9 years ago

#29

Viji..
Superb one dear...i mean i salute your creativity...
😆
Kind of comparing characters of mahabharat with this fictional characters is amazing
especially ram prashad's emotional side is just outstanding
😊
seriously...u did a great job
waiting for next updates
love
simi 😊

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Autumn_Hue

@Autumn_Hue

Sparkler

+ 3

Posted: 9 years ago

#30

Viji, 🤗

We meet again through your story and all I can say is that I'm spellbound by its sheer brilliance, I was transported to another world reading this particular one shot of yours but well this happened when I read your previous OS too. Sheer absolute beauty this story was.. 😃

First I'd want to commend you for the background on which you built the superbase of this story, who'd think of such a beautiful and apt situation.. It totally connects with the plot of the show, as Durga Prasad gave away everything which belonged to him and what belonged to the others as well without thinking if they would want to partake with their share or no to save his good for nothing son, Laksh.

I loved reading the base you set up for Durga Prasad and Ram Prasad throwing light on the mystery on why Ram Prasad worships his elder brother like a father figure in his life never contradicting a word he speakes, letting him call the shots for every situation. It was lovely to read the bonding between young Ram Prasad and Durga Prasad. Then, Ram Prasad's guilt for not being able to be there for his son and fulfilling his role as his father was very nicely portrayed by you.👍🏼

Swara and Sanskaar's strained relationship their thoughts and their personal turmoils specially Swara's for that perfect family, were yet again shown very brilliantly by you through smart writing. I like Ram Prasad's fondness towards Swara very much just how a father would have for his daughter.

The plan was a stroke of brilliant and intelligent thinking and yet again they won the battle against Ragini and her Dadi the reputation of the family saved by Sanskaar and Swara's intelligence..

The pain Sanskaar went through thinking that Swara had signed the divorce papers was painfully beautiful I could feel his pain overflowing in that particular moment.. The relief that coursed through him when he discovered that they were just title deeds to the property was so evident and what won me over was Swara's speech at the end it was plain beautiful.

Amazing work Viji so glad you sent me a PM for this just beautiful keep writing you're a total natural at this. I'm waiting for the sequel so post it soon. 😳

Love,

Kashmi 🤗

(Sorry to bug you with the long comment but couldn't help myself).

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SwaSan OS: Dyuta Parva/ Karna Parva Day 16. - Page 3

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