Trial By Fire- A SwaSan 3 Shot - Page 4

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tootiefrootie11 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#31

Originally posted by: Lavender_Love

Shruti... first of all congratulations for becoming Rockerz .. *hugs*
Me gonna keep this really short.. Cellphones are pain to type :'(
I am very intrigued ..how this gonna play out... Please update it as soon as possible.. Loved the way you're developing SwaSan relation... The back drop you have setup for this story has sent my brain into overdrive. all I can think right now is how that aftermath situation came into play... So looking forward to read more...
Love
Nityah...


Nityah- thanks sweetie! Yes comments from the phone is a real annoyance! But am grateful for your comment in any case and hope the next part I just put up explains the evolving story a bit more. Glad you are liking it so far! Mmmwah.
Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#32
Res 😊
Shru darling, will unres tomo pakka. I wanna comment on both parts from my lappy, you know I hate typing comments for your fics from my phone.

Unres

Hi Shru...First of all, I know I'm not allowed to say Sorry to you, but I feel really, really bad about this late reply. Saturday was even busier than anticipated and then we had guests over today, with the result that I just could not log in from lappy (which I prefer to do when commenting), as I don't want to just leave the proforma "great job" kinda comments on your Fic.

Shru, 🤗 for whatever my opinion is worth, you have surpassed all your previous works with this one---truly this one is the jewel in your crown, my dear.

In Part 1, I just loved the way you had altered the timeline somewhat, to accommodate some more time for Swara to begin to acknowledge the depth of her feelings for Sanskaar. I loved the delicate trajectory of their relationship here--Sanskaar deciding to woo her, since he realized she wasn't at all interested in going after Lakshya. The way he gently flirted with her, making her blush and react instinctively to his charm and teasing was so great to read. 😳
And the kiss was soulful. ☺️

Part 2: I was prepared for angst, since you had warned me in advance. 😉 And you know what I liked best about this part? Your flexibility to modify the plot device from what you had earlier planned (that Sansku would actually MU for a bit). By the time you'd written it, of course, we'd got the fabulous episode where Sansku stood by Swara like a rock, with no doubt in his mind. And so, the way you made the necessary changes in your pre planned plotline was great. And what I loved also here, was that though there were surface similarities in Sansku's trust with your earlier "Entrusted", you handled the plot device in a manner to make it quite distinct.

Of course, I hated the stand taken by almost all the other crackpots in MM (except DP and RP), but it was Godsend to read Sanskaar so supportive of Swara, with not a single moment of hesitation. His threat to leave home with her, was the clincher. Lakshya & Ragini in this chapter--my God. Ragini's "sibilant whsipers" sounded appropriately serpentine and venomous. 😊 But Lakshya 🤢 He claims to "love" Swara, but is perfectly fine lying about her, conniving with someone casting aspersions on her. My God! With friends like him, Swara doesn't need enemies--and finally, she realized that! And then comes the kidnapping planned by the evil--daft partner duo (no prizes for guessing who is who! 😆), and again fingers are pointed at SwaSan (specifically Sansku).

When Sanskaar suggested Swara move to the baadi, and that he would go to his apartment, I knew from our earlier discussion that it was a ruse to smoke out RagYa. 😉 Anyway he does ask Swara to trust him, and do as he says without questions---so there was (thankfully) a clear indication to readers that his trust was not wavering. But yes, Swara got some time to pine, for some much needed introspection! She really needed it!

And after all the angst, tears and pain in part 2, came the drama yet joy in part 3. Can I just say, that the SwaSan lovemaking scene was handled so delicately and soulfully. It was amazing. And a big 🤗 to you, for accommodating Medha's and my sincere request to make sure Lakshya got some appropriate pain from Sansku and Swara. Leg kicked, face clawed, and a right hook to the jaw! Amazing. 😆

Again, Shru, I really liked how you'd delineated the plot device from "Against All Odds" in this chapter, as regards Sanskaar's use of detectives to crack the RagYa plot. Though there were surface similarities, you had drawn differences too. That is a difficult task, making sure one's own works stand distinct from each other, and I feel you managed to achieve that here. 👏

Swara thankfully seemed to have learned a lesson, and did not attempt to intercede with Sanskaar at all as regards his plans to take legal recourse against RagYa. A welcome change from her usual doormat, turn the other cheek behavior. DP again won my respect, with his handling of the situation, and his assurance to Sanskaar that he would ensure Lakshya got punished appropriately. And finally, our golden couple get some much needed private time, away from the mayhem and madness of MM. 😳 I can just imagine the extended, uninterrupted honeymoon they would have.

But on a serious note, AP and Sujju need this, to realize how wrong they have been in pouring scorn on Swara, ignoring all the previous proof against Ragini. I mean, leopards don't change their spots, memory loss or no memory loss! How can two ladies with so much life experience (especially AP) behave so dumb? 😡

Once again, I loved it Shru. This is now your my favorite among your works--until you decide to surpass it with another one yet to come. 😉


Edited by CogitoErgoSum - 9 years ago
tootiefrootie11 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#33

Originally posted by: manasie23

<font size="2">Shru 🤗
Do you mind if I say it was amazing, I don't know how to explain but your writing seems to have a quality to make simplest thing much more readavle and enjoyable...
I love it how you have explored Swara's feelings here and also Sanskaar who seems too eager to love his wife but has to restrain himself.
And how can you stop there after their first kiss... not fair... this was sooo a cliffhanger..
And the ever mahan devi Swara far too trusting for her own good.. and also the conversation you tried to show about Banaras was shown too rushed in the serial but tried to explain and pen it down in a much much better way...
And haan update soon or else I am going to haunt you in your sleep today</font>


Manu 🤗
I want to thank you for your amazing comments to me each time! Happy you like the growth of feeling from Swara's side, it seemed totally natural and I feel the show is failing in exploring this fully. Haha- thoda toh cliff hanger banta hai! But Part 2 is now there to add on. I hope there will be no sleep hauntings now as I am already sleep deprived thanks to this story! 😆
MysticMoon thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#34
Awesome second part...
I wish we get the same Swasan bonding in Show also...
I also feel sanskar will support Swara now no matter what...
but I can only imagine the scenes ... Show always disappoints us by showing unnecessary crap.
but Your magical words gave me some relief from that torture ...thank you for that.
also thank you for PM
dilwali thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#35
you write so beautifully dear. It was amazing n i was waiting for update. You hv tremendous capability of writing emotions n i luved it. thanks for pm
tootiefrootie11 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#36

Originally posted by: piccola1

Oh Shruti..you've transported me to the ultimate Swasan dream land with that..🤗

Let me read that a 100 times more and then I will tespond in full 😆 At this time, I just HAVE to go back and read it..again and again ..and again 😳

RES


Thank you Pic- an assertion that someone wants to read your work so many times is worth a lot of comments and you made my day saying that! X
foresight thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#37
👏 ...i like where this is going. I alway feel that that is the next step Laksh will take, lie to the family and malign Swara in the hopes of getting her back. you have portrayed in and woven in the kidnaping really well. waiting for the next part
The.Lannister thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#38
@Part 2:

This is what Swara should have done in the show too, instead of just slapping Ragini. She should have told the Maheshwari's everything.


Laksh, I have full confidence, will react in the same way even in the show😊


That scene where she collapses on the floor crying reminded me of Khirad (Humsafar). This stupid girl doesnt even realize how important is a husband's support. Guess you never value somethings till you have lost them.😭


I am expecting a fully filmy reunion of these two after Sanskaar accomplishes his own mission😛 Ekdum mast Swara running across the badi from her home while Sanskaar stands with his arms outstretched at the main gate of the baadi😆😆😆 & then just sweeps her into a hug
tootiefrootie11 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#39

I am in dreamland..
your writing created a magic, the way you described swaSan bonding , I am speechless .. so beautiful , so romantic, just made my day ... 👏
Just waiting for the next update..
Thanks for PM 😊

Vaibhi 🤗
Joint thanks for both sets of your comments above- you made my day with them! I am glad you liked Part 2 as well, it was painful but hopefully I gave some hope as to SwaSan despite the way things panned out there!

piccola1 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#40
Read it in one breath..Shruti ! I was w-a-i-t-i-n-g for it...and there it was! Thank You!👍🏼
🤗🤗🤗
This was so well written, I could literally feel the evil malintent looming over and strangling out the radiance of our golden couple's first kiss and Swara's glorious feelings for Sanskaar. Wish we could have had them have a quick connect before the dark clouds snatched it all. But am certain, you left it there for a good reason.😛
👏
Hated it !...Err, hated the sick mentality of MM. I have been seething at the low mindedness and the sheer injustice of the MM maters since Fri for mudslinging Swara, but seeing no wrong in their darling Lakshya.😡 So this piece made me see red again..and the photos and videos..uhhh..I could cheerfully throttle Ragz and her traitorous poodle into the next river..except it wouldnt be that gentle stream in Kolkata, but a sea full of sharks or a river full of the most vicious piranha. How can the seniors at MM condone the kind of crap she was feeding them?😡

Swara's betrayal and her breaking down were heart breaking. For all her foolishness, you cant blame her for her innocence, or for her wanting to have her perfect family. No one deserves this kind of slander, least of all, someone who hadn't the remotest interest in the kind of doubleplay that she is accused of. 😭

Thanks🤗 for making Sanskaar what he truly is...a true knight in KA, an ideal husband, a true friend and supporter, His standing up for his golden girl was a given, and am glad it did not disappoint..it went beyond what I wanted actually, with his threat to leave home too. Love him ! ❤️

Waiting for your 3rd..and trusting our Sunny boy to do what it takes to close this evil, once and for all, and reclaim his love, her honor and her pride.. and above all their peace of mind, so they can get down to fulfilling their obligation to us😳...for our Swasanilicious "happily ever after" .😳

If that means he is going to contact his pals in NASA and shoot her out to Mars, all I can say is Bon Voyage😃 and God save the Martians.😆


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