SwaSan TS: 'Old Sins Cast Long Shadows' - Page 14

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piccola1 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Viji, I have been wanting to pen this down since the day I first went through your TS, very avidly, and with bated breath !😛 How can I thank you enough, for not keeping us in suspense over the next 2 parts? Love your taking the effort and the time, to do it for our satiety ! God bless.😊

I will start with my Hearty Congratulations, Viji, for a par excellence penmanship of what you've said is a completely new genre for you ! For those who dont know it, you would appear to be a past master ! 👏

I loved the way you started this TS..the 1st para sets the tone immediately and definitively...its ominous, grave and dark. And gets more so, when the sinister shadow appears and hides again. Wow..you have written it so well, I can picture it unravelling...👍🏼 And the meanness, the fury, the frustration and the malintent is so strong, it hit me hard...to the extent that I felt like walking into the scene and sheltering our sunny duo from this evil force.😲

The AP para was a complete red herring, at the start, at least for me😆. I guess I havent got out of your take on this powerful queenly force even now..but you toned her down beautifully. And while she retains her regal aura, she is also all woman, and mother thankfully, to Sanskaar.

The beautiful take on Sanskaar and on Swara.😳..Our Sunny boy is so aptly portrayed...his boundless love for his beloved wife is wonderfully written. He is truly bewitched..and so are we, with him, his quiet, infinite, selfless and oh so endearing love ! And you, my dear, make him even more loveable, with sketches like these ! 😃 The "friend-zoning" that he has done, is superbly etched out..and is so frustrating to us readers, even as we admire him even more for being superhuman in his efforts to retain his iron self control! And those cracks in his defence, as you described them, are completely adorable..! 😳And parallely, you have our Golden girl, still unsure, still confused, and still hurting but healing in his unending love and care. Sensitively and superbly portrayed, Viji!

The 2nd shot was a complete contrast from the inaction of the 1st...the 1st was all thought, the 2nd all Action..! And thankfully, what was most active, for once, was Swara's brain..in that she finally realized what Sanskaar means to her ! The agony that you made her suffer, was worthy of her love...and soo needed for this love story to take the next step. Sanskaar's realization of what her scold really implied, was very welcome. And so typical that he was immediately swamped by concern for her, when he saw her in tears. 😳

Umm, the next bit was most satisfying❤️..my heart craves to see it on screen..and I know we WONT get to see it ! 😕 It was enchanting, ethereal and oh so beautiful, Viji ! And the last line, almost a benediction, gave hope of a long lasting, love.😳😳

And what a return to the the looming darkness, the terror and the sheer evil of the start, again...the sun of our golden duo's love seemed to have been dwarfed out by the evil..vague though it remained. When you said Sanskaar was leaving, one knew, that this was it. And while some friends in this forum did catch on, I didn't, so the denouement when it came, was a complete surprise for me! (I guess I couldn't ever attribute genius to Lakshya...and an evil genius, mad to boot, is what you've made him!) And the extent of his evil, and his insanity was blood curdling..well done Viji..this is a villian far superior than I can ever imagine Lakshya to be.⭐️

Am I glad, that Sanskaar being his smart self and had done all he could to keep her safe ! With pepper sprays, army knives and detectives to boot? Thankfully she was smart enough to create the right opportunity, and to use them ! Hurray! And hurray too, to her final deliverance. 👏

The wrap up, frankly, was unwelcome! I so love to delve into the make believe world you create, I'd like it to go on forever ! So, selfishly, I'd have liked to see further discussions between our love birds, a bit of the shock and pain of Sanskaar and her sharing her shoulder, the revelation to the family and DP/AP's reactions, and a final word from Sanskaar on Kavita too..for closure with Swara..perhaps even what happened with Ragini. And of course lots of more Swasan...(sorry..but ye dil maange more!)😃

I read this and a number of superb stories and posts, right through my fever last week..and they really kept me going, upliftng my mood, giving me positivity and friendship, in the gloom of being ill..I cant be thankful enough to you and to all the other pals here, for making me feel so good. 🤗

Keep em coming, Viji..as soon and as often as you can! 🤗🤗
Edited by piccola1 - 9 years ago
arohijsp thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
I read all three at a one go.
I love how you started your story!
Murder, mystery and suspense. My favourite genre when growing up, Agatha Christies were my favorites.
In the beginning even I wanted to suspected Suju, but never thought Laksh to have such a criminal mind ..you know , after the way his character unfolds in Swaragini :) Love Swasan romancing parts too!
Thanks for the PM. Take a bow! You are a very talented writer!
Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: arohijsp

I read all three at a one go.
I love how you started your story!
Murder, mystery and suspense. My favourite genre when growing up, Agatha Christies were my favorites.
In the beginning even I wanted to suspected Suju, but never thought Laksh to have such a criminal mind ..you know , after the way his character unfolds in Swaragini :) Love Swasan romancing parts too!
Thanks for the PM. Take a bow! You are a very talented writer!



Thanks a ton, Arohi! 😊 Glad you liked it, dear.

Yeah, I did try to throw some suspicion on Sujju and AP. Just trying some red herrings, as the Great, Great Agatha Christie does in her absolutely fabulous novels! 😉 I love her books, too. Have literally read all of them, I think. She's a complete genius.

Thanks for saying you liked both the suspense bits and the romance parts. That satiates my SwaSan obsessed soul! 😊

Cintila thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
Viji...!!😲 You always manage to leave me speechless..how do you do that ? This was outstanding..really !!👏
The last part specially made chills run down my spine...it was scary. Yes that's the word. I had never imagined this side of lakshya which you wrote soo wonderfully.
Loved the swasan parts. Their confrontation, sanskaar storming off, swara's worry and ...finally how they give in to their emotions..everything was soo beautifully written. I could visualize all of that happening in front of my eyes. It felt soo natural. I loved how you explained the demolition of the 'pillow wall'😉.

In all this TS is amazingly written👏. You're a star yaar...i LOVEEE reading your works.
I'm extremely sorry for reading this one soo late. Loved it Viji...as always . This was fab !⭐️
Forum.Maniac thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
This is stunningly mindblowing Viji!
You've done an amazing job. I thoroughly loved it! ❤️👏
Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Forum.Maniac

This is stunningly mindblowing Viji!

You've done an amazing job. I thoroughly loved it! ❤️👏


Thanks a ton dear ! 😊 Very glad you liked it.
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Posted: 9 years ago
unreserving

Viji... 🤗🤗🤗
Firstly I want to apologize for such a late comment...I am slowly replying to every PM... today I was going to reply yours and you sent the scrap too so will start from here. Ok ,, a confession... I have read this the day you posted it..but I was finishing the SwaSan throwback VM that day so thought to comment later Abhi bhi... I had opened this pagetwo hour ago and I finally got time to reply... 😕
Coming to TS itself... Viji ... it shouldn't amaze me anymore watching you create such awesomeness... but you still always do... this piece totally snagged first place for my favorite fic of yours.. I just loved it... The preface ... they way you started with quote about zero hour is amazing... and then how you used the words to paint the scenery ...Its amazing... Its like... I am watching it happening in front of my eyes... You so amazingly created the aura of thriller and suspense just by your words... Just reading the preface had made my heart race with thrill to see what will happen...😳 Part 1... the quotes were so apt. I loved AP here.. I really hope this how she will remain in show too.. a sensible woman. And Sujju... what I can say... sometimes I want to hate her but her antics don't let me.. Coming to SwaSan... can they be more adorable...?? I can so imagine Sanskaar staring his wifey doing pooja and getting lost in her. Can we get such romance in show too... Again you have conveyed every emotion so amazingly through words. Just reading I too can feel... the love, care ,longing the fear to take the final step. I really dont have words to praise you properly but by just reading them... I was transported to into SwaSan's own world.
Part 2... The starting with poetry lines from Sappho itself is so romantic... I read this whole poem after seeing it here for first time... and its so beautiful and romantic...The built up you generated for SwaSan final step was amazing... All I could do was just keep reading filled with awe. You have so beautifully written this part. The last part... I had an idea that it will be Laksh... there were hints you dropped along the way... and My God... I had goose bumps reading Swara and Laksh confrontation. It was so exciting to read it...
All in all... this one of the best work I got to read till the date. You're so amazing with words yaar...When ever you write it creates pure magic. I said before you're one of my favorite author here at IF... but I now say... you are my most favorite author at IF along with Shruti. You both are just amazing.. I wish both of you to see as a published author. You will do great. Your plots, your story telling are so mind capturing that once you start reading... I as reader get lost in it..
Love you..
Nityah... 😳

Edited by Lavender_Love - 9 years ago
Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Cintila

Viji...!!😲 You always manage to leave me speechless..how do you do that ? This was outstanding..really !!👏

The last part specially made chills run down my spine...it was scary. Yes that's the word. I had never imagined this side of lakshya which you wrote soo wonderfully.
Loved the swasan parts. Their confrontation, sanskaar storming off, swara's worry and ...finally how they give in to their emotions..everything was soo beautifully written. I could visualize all of that happening in front of my eyes. It felt soo natural. I loved how you explained the demolition of the 'pillow wall'😉.

In all this TS is amazingly written👏. You're a star yaar...i LOVEEE reading your works.
I'm extremely sorry for reading this one soo late. Loved it Viji...as always . This was fab !⭐️



Tuhina my dear!!! 🤗 🤗 Thanks so much!! Am so very happy you liked it. I always look forward to your comments yaar, seriously. It lets me know whether I did the piece right or not, so I am extremely glad you felt this was good.

Am so happy to hear you liked both the mystery parts of it, as well as the SwaSan romance parts. That blasted pillow wall HAD to come down, na? 😉 In the serial tho God alone knows how long they will drag poor SwaSan before their love story blossoms. So I decided to dream about it in advance and write about it!!

And as for Part 3, Oh, I had chills running down my spine when I wrote it, re. I was scared myself, to be frank. So I am happy (in a sadistic way! 😳) that you also found it spine chilling when you read it.

Thanks again for the comment dear. Really appreciate it.

Cheers

Viji
Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Nithya.G

awe lovely update viji 😳



Thanks a lot Nithya 😊
Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago


Thanks a ton, Nityah. 😊 Will check and reply on that tomorrow. All well with you?

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