SwaSan TS: 'Old Sins Cast Long Shadows'

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Posted: 9 years ago
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Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
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--Anna-- thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3
Hi Viji,
Finally got around to commenting on this wonderfully mysterious story of yours. A master-piece once again. Bravo! 👏 👏

I wont lie, I had my doubts from the beginning that Laksh is the man standing in the dark waiting for Swara Sanskaar to come and I was glad when I reached the end and realised I was right. 😆

I loved the progression of Swara Sanskaar's love story. It was beautifully done. The fight on the terrace, Swara's longing for Sanskaar, Laksh's interference and the fight scene - beautifully written. Also, loved the part when Swara realises that Sanskaar has left her in anger and she is genuinely worried for him and Sanskaar on the other hand tries to decipher Swara's words and comes back. Awww!

I also liked AP and Sujata's part where AP seemed to compare Sanskaar with DP. They are quite similar are they not?

Their first kiss, the confession - very well written. It was heart warming. I loved how this particular part was only about Swara and Sanskaar and their feelings. I so wish to see such real emotions in the show - but whatever, I felt warmth come over me as I read Part II of the TS. It is my favourite part! 👏

Loved the ending, the mystery to Kavita's death, Laksh's insecurities about Sanskaar, his psychotic behaviour - you were able to convince me of the reason of him turing this way. I will wish that in the show too, the creatives take a note from this TS and portray Laksh as such because this is how I see him too. Loved how Swara realised what Laksh is upto and for a minute there, I was creeped out by Laksh. Thankfully, Sanskaar was there to save the day. Trust him to think of everyone first.

Viji, as usual a lovely lovely TS. I am so very sorry for the delay in updating my comment. I read this when you posted this - but I was not able to find the time to update my comment. You know I love your writing skills - and I wait for anything you write for us. 😳

I never make requests, but is there a possibility you could write something on the bomb blast track that probably will be shown in the show and Swara's care for Sanskaar? Would love to read your take on it. An OS or an SS - anything. Would love love love to read it!

Cheers!
Anna
Edited by --Anna-- - 9 years ago
samiya.059 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4
OMG..!!!Viji you have out done yourself with this one
I seriously have no words to praise this one..you said u were nervous at attempting this genre...you shouldnt b my friend. ..You nailed it.
The moment I realized that it was going to b mystery...I put my Watson hat on!! but poor me I was expecting annapoorna to b the mastermind of this game.
The opening set a environment of a mystery and secrecy.
The opening was a perfect start giving a Gud warm up for a roller costar ride.
The swason parts were so beautifully written.Their emotions,fears,insecurities,and care blended into words were perfect.The "all is well" but "something amiss" feeling came instantly..You are hugely talented Viiji
The mystery part was just phenomenol .I truely couldnt comprehend that this whole could be Lucky doing.I think I underestimated him..considering how much spineless he is!
I too feel there is someone among the MM clan who is responsible for kavita's murder...I am so glad you exploired this .
You provided hints from the start that Lucky is the one...but I wasn't too clever to connect the dots.
The last part where sanskaar was mourning for kavita and attaining support from swara was superb.
Sanskaar is a wise person...I won't call him intelligent...there is a huge difference btw the two.Glad that he sensed the danger and arranged for security of his beloved
I want to write so much to praise this masterpiece of urs Viji...but believe me am short of words.You are a writer of great caliber...do write more..its a request
The Zero hour n sense n sensiblilty are now on my list..
Was reading a poem..and it so aptly describes sanskaar
Of our relationship, what should I say?
In the language of love nowhere is it inscribed.
Much has been written of love's joys and pains
But my state of mind has never been
described.
This love, where absence and presence
entwine,
This pain, an old friend, which since years is
mine,
A love that I've concealed from all and so
apart,
An age has gone since I pressed it to my heart.
_
Edited by samiya.059 - 9 years ago
Cogito_Ergo_Sum thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5


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tootiefrootie11 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
Viji 🤗
I knew my day was made when I woke and saw you'd posted the first two parts, hence the rush to reserve. I read the first 2 over breakfast in the hotel I am staying at for work, mechanically shovelling the food as I was engrossed. A piece that has references to Agatha Christie, Jane Austen and Oscar Wilde in it (oh and capped by Sappho) has to be amazing and of course with you writing it, there was no doubt about it. I know you were nervous about the different genre, but I wasn't in the slightest. The writer can make the work and you are of that calibre of writer who doesn't do "bad" writing ever 😃.
Coming to the actual TS, it was brilliant as ever. I knew almost straightaway it would be Lux as soon as I started to read how you began with him and also connecting that to the way the current track is panning out. Great foreshadowing in Sanskaar's recollections of him too and of course the only ones really capable of this type of attack would have to be him or AP and your AP in this wasn't that way inclined, being a retracted version of what you have imagined her to be previously. Truly a nice finish to the SwaLak saga as it death knells any lingering feelings which in any case this Swara doesn't have.

I really liked the way the chapters panned out. The suspense was built up and then we got much needed romance. I loved the scene where Swara is dying with worry. Soul connection again but am working on something (in my head) where similar fear and worry is experienced but not the same situation:). And of course then there's the outcome of all that dramatic tension and worry- 😳. So beautifully described, it made me sigh in pleasure. The finish of course was a perfect lead on from it all. The whole confrontation with Swara and Lakshya was spine chilling, the threat and danger came off the screen almost.
There's so many precious bits that I would like to quote back but typing on iPad at work and of course I can't copy and paste so am content with expressing my overall delight at the whole of it, it's hard to choose one favourite bit when you like so much.
As ever, masterfully done and I think any author who takes their writing seriously should try new things so kudos for having done that and even more kudos for having done it amazingly well.
👏

Love always xoxo
Edited by tootiefrootie11 - 9 years ago
SONAL30 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
Hey viji😃
finally I got time to read ur TS
n OMG what a masterpiece unhave written...I must say this the bestest OS I have ever read👏
the way u have written the iniatial stage of their relationship was so excellent😃
swara was trying to understand her feelings n sanskaar was unknown towards her changed feelings
laksh tried to impose himself on swara but sansku punched him n swara shouted on her😡
n he stormed out of the house in anger...swara was scared n finally they took next step in their relationship😉
but the most shocking part was laksh's true face😲
he was a psychopath who killed kavitapoor girl😭
n he also tried to kill swara just because she has fallen for his brother...god he needs some mental treatment
thanm god sanskaar has brains n he reached in time otherwise
loved it so much
thanks for the pm🤗
Edited by SONAL30 - 9 years ago
Ashakalyani thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
i was eagerly waiting for ur new story..thanku for dis...looking forward to future updates
BookWormV thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
You're writing continues to surprise me everytime I read a new story you write. Completely blown away by this one too. Damn good concept and emotion portrayal! You have a talent for describing things. Keep writing. I can't wait for an update!!! Please update this soon.

-V
iam-in-love thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10
unres

wowww... Its jst awsm story... SanLak fight... Thn Sanskar leaving d house. Swara was in tension. And she luking her mehendi.
And Loved SwaSan's kiss ❤️
Sanskar gaving her things which she can use for her protection... He is such a caring husband..
I really cnt belive that Luxji is behind it all. I hate him.He is d one who is killed Kavita&nw tried to kill swara.
Thnk god that Sanskar arranged the policemen to look over his wife & make sure she is fyn...
SwaSan... ❤️

TS was jst awsm... U r an excellent writter... The way how u describing each&evrything very clearly is jst beautyful... Loved it vry much... Pls pm me in ur future stories...
😊
Edited by iam-in-love - 9 years ago

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