Originally posted by: inlieu
Hey girl! I just realized that I probably didn't end up hitting the Post Reply button the other day after writing my response to this piece. I don't think I can recapture what I wrote back then, but I will try.
First of all, as a person who understands and speaks some Portuguese, I totally get what "saudade" means and all the connotations associated with the use of the word. So when I read the title of your post, not only did my eyebrows shoot up but I felt jumpy with the anticipation of how you would use it in the story. You did full justice to it and much much more. Can I just say I felt your words spoke to me directly as though you were narrating this in person.
I am always impressed by your works, but this one in particular had a different flavor in that it was more Swara-centric. Rather than judging her, it was an attempt to understand where she comes from, to take us back to that point in time where we all loved her for being honest, brave, and unafraid to admit her mistakes, ever-determined to right her wrongs. I love that the pain she feels is as great as if not greater than the one she caused Sanskaar, and that the impact of this realization has an almost crippling effect on her. Almost...because true to Swara's nature she's never down for too long, and bounces back with the positivity and determination she is known for.
I also love that the despair she feels at Sanskaar's aloofness did not result in lack of self-esteem or confidence on her part and that she decides to use the same doggedness she's displayed in other "missions" to think about her happiness for a change. Because as much as she is doing this to win Sanskaar's affection and attention, it is also her attempt at trying to reach out for the slice of heaven that has always been hers, but that she has unwittingly let drift away. Fortunately for her, it's hasn't drifted too far yet. The biggest plus point in her case is that she is loved by a man who is honest about his feelings, be it love, desire, or hurt, but in all of this he never abandons her in order to sever all ties with her and "save" himself once and for all. That is what being there for someone truly means, and we can find no better example than Sanskaar's actions.
Sanskaar is in quicksand - if he does nothing he will continue to sink in his despair, yet the more he struggles to get out or change his position the end result is the same. At this stage, only Swara can pull him out of that quicksand with her resolve and complete faith in his love and their unbreakable bond.
I chuckled at this: "You better be ready for me Sanskaar" 😆 because we know that when Swara goes into that mode, there's no stopping her! This time, though, I won't mind her being blinkered.
Brilliant as usual my dear! I really hope you are thinking of publishing at some point, if you haven't already. Thanks for sending me the PM's, though I am always looking out for your posts anyway. 😃
Thanks Jean, as always, for your wonderfully detailed and analytical comment. 😊 I am truly touched and humbled that you, as a Portuguese speaker, feel that I did justice to the theme of this wonderful word in my O.S. Thanks for that. 🤗
I did want to portray here a slightly different take from what was ultimately shown in the serial in Friday's episode (of course seeing as I wrote this on the Wednesday before, I did not know that Sansku would be shown as completely willing to join Swara in mission RagYa milan 😉)
I wanted to show a different take, which I found equally plausible, that he might feel betrayed and heartbroken that she pretended to give their marriage a chance, just for this new Misson. Of course he would still stand by her---that's something so ingrained in him almost by now, he won't ever step away from her side. But I wanted to explore the impact of that on their relationship, and I am so glad you felt I did justice to this. 🤗
I had a lot of fun writing how Swara sets about winning Sanskaar's trust back, and wooing him. I did want to make her work a bit hard for that 😉 Oh she is dogged all right. ...her daadi did say, after all, that when she set her mind to something, she would see it done. And this time, I wanted her to go all out to convince Sanskaar of her love. 😉
Thanks again for all the warm words, Jean. Writing is something I'm passionate about, as a hobby. I am not thinking of publishing...just want to do the best I can, in making this a fruitful hobby that brings me joy, and if I'm lucky, to friends like you in a forum like this wonderful one. 😊
