How Can Mishti Be Helped

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441597

Suspended

Posted: 6 years ago

#41

Originally posted by: IDO20

No in my home, beating hardly happened. My parents were separated I grew up at my maternal grandparents home. My mom was single and working. I was handled with utmost care by my relatives because at that time separation was not common and every one used to protect me from social questions and exposure. They could have never thought of even speaking on high tone to me though I was quite naughty. My grand mom, mom, aunty all counselled me on all my pranks. Also they never stopped me from meeting my dad. When I grew up I used to stay with my dad because of studies. I understand this co parenting situation very well. What is shown in serials is far from reality.

Then you answered your own question. You never experienced what most kids do, because your parents were separated and this made everyone more sensitive towards you. But that's not the case with regular households, is it?

Edited by krystal_watz - 6 years ago

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Silpa

@Silpa20

Stunner

+ 9

Posted: 6 years ago

#42

Nowadays children should be dealt with very carefully.Beating and harsh punishments make them more stubborn.My parents say this always.

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1148967

Suspended

Posted: 6 years ago

#43

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

Engaging in personal attacks shows that you don't have the maturity or intellect to engage in civil conversation.

And btw, aren't you the one who repeatedly calls Pari 'baby snake' even after so many people reprimanded you for it? Yeah, we all know who needs psychological help here.

Quit trolling please.

It was name calling, but violent phrases like 'mar ... and whole body ... I got reprimanded and I took it. That is wise. Standing by what you said and then interpreting that it is as per some language is that maturity. Please educate me on civil conversation - mar mar ke ... all these phrases does it fall under that.

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prettywomaniya

@prettywomaniya

Dazzler

Posted: 6 years ago

#44

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

When you're thrashed, your body will ache.
. Literally everybody heard these stuff in childhood and nobody took them seriously. 😆

my intension is not at all to make u say that u were wrong in saying all that but definitely to tell you that THIS IS A CRIME...

the words u said have no other meaning in bengali or even in chinese .

anyway. my purpose of awaring you that a crime shouldnt be supported in any way is served.. signing off from this chat

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Kavyaaa

@Kavyaaa

Beginner

Posted: 6 years ago

#45

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

For Prettywomaniya and Kaavya

Okay I didn't know the meaning of this phrase but i still feel that language was a bit harsh...Every one creates a point of view on the basis of their own experiences and there are no parameters to judge who is right or who is wrong..

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441597

Suspended

Posted: 6 years ago

#46

Originally posted by: prettywomaniya

my intension is not at all to make u say that u were wrong in saying all that but definitely to tell you that THIS IS A CRIME...

the words u said have no other meaning in bengali or even in chinese .

anyway. my purpose of awaring you that a crime shouldnt be supported in any way is served.. signing off from this chat

Again, those words are not to be taken in their LITERAL meaning. Unless you think giving a sound beating to kids is a crime. In that case, you're entitled to your opinion.

I'll say this again: When kids do something that seriously hurt someone else, they deserve physical disciplining. In cases of harmless pranks or bad manners, they can be rebuked and let off without beating.

Edited by krystal_watz - 6 years ago

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 6 years ago

#47

Originally posted by: krystal_watz
There are very few human beings on the planet who can say that their parents never raised hands on them EVEN ONCE in their lives. And it is usually for good reason.
You have to raise your hand when your child is going out of control; you cannot run to the counselor every other day of your life and for every petty reason.

Our parents, with all their flaws, want the best for us. Let's not make them criminals for doing so.

Yes you can beat your child if they are going out of hand but not always. Beating a child should be last thing, parents must resort to, only if every other constructive method fails.

Mishti doesn't have a history of such behavior but for the first time, it's a very serious thing & should be immediately taken into light.

Parents should talk & try to understand the psychology that led to such kind of behavior. Take constructive ways to resolve the matter & if that doesn't work, beating can be tried once.

Mishti hasn't really been talked too. It's important to understand what is bothering her so much, why does she hate someone so much suddenly to the extent that she went ahead to bully her. It's not like she has been bullying everyone till now. Even if you beat her now, make her ask for forgiveness, then what's the guarantee that her bitterness will go away. She might not do the same thing with her again but that doesn't guarantee that she will let go of her apprehension for her. She might turn more bitter & that happens in most of the cases. Check out if the child already feels guilty for what she did, if she does then beating isn't required since the sole aim of it is to make them understand the gravity of situation & admit that they did wrong.

Not every child beaten will give the positive output. I have seen practical cases of beating that leads to far more worse.

It's time to have a fair conversation with her & make her see some things clearly no matter what. Trying to avoid a conversation because oldies are too scared in this case will not do any good. Pretty sure as a mother Mauli can keep her personal issues aside & address her daughter's issues.

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 6 years ago

#48

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

Then you answered your own question. You never experienced what most kids do, because your parents were separated and this made everyone more sensitive towards you. But that's not the case with regular households, is it?

I come from a regular household. My mother used to beat my sister ((along with the teachers) when she used to do some mistake & when she didn't use to do her homework. She was a poor child in her school days & people used to beat her simply because that seemed fine to them. She ended up becoming a rebel at a time.

It took my father to understand her psychology & change his approach & deal with her with love & understanding so that it could imbibe confidence & trust in her for people around her.

Those childhood beating have led to her severe inferiority complex, under-confidence, distrust & chronic depression & we had to end up consulting a psychiatrist to address her problem.

Physical punishment doesn't yield positive outcome on all all the time.

Case of Mishti isn't simple. She is undergoing psychological sequence of events that has led to this level of hatred towards Pari (she isn't born bully or hateful) & unless that is addressed, her bitterness won't go. We don't just have to prevent her from doing something like this again but we have to help her get out of her bitterness too so that she grown up with good mental & emotional health.

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 6 years ago

#49

Originally posted by: Kavyaaa

Please never do that thing to any kid or suggest this to any parents...I know earlier this was the method but not now, this world is far more different than those times..she is just five year old kid...Now world is more liberal, have more psychological issues and people are concerned about them..
I know as kids we all have tasted one or more slaps but now children are more sensitive...earlier families were big, siblings were more in number and parents were not that attentive to their kids because household chores and financial work was not easy before...
But now we live in a different world, problems can't be solved by beating your kid, your neighbours can report you, children can leave home and can be traumatised forever.
what she done was wrong like hell and she should be punished but not like you mentioned...I may be wrong but i don't support raising hand on children.

Add on to environmental influences on the children from TV, Internet & all.

She should have been punished if she wan't feeling guilty about it & was being arrogant about admitting that she did a major mistake. But here, she feels guilty & it's important it is considered while dealing with her. She can be punished & there are so many ways to do it rather than severe physical punishment.

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Fatima

@Rhimjhimsawan

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 6 years ago

#50

For one it would be nice if someone actually talked to her. Second it would be nice if someone actually let Kunal talk to her.

Here is the thing. Many kids have had to deal with their parents getting divorced and moving on with others. Even more kids have had to deal with their parents not loving each other anymore. It's hard when your one parents falls out of love with another but you can cope with it. Mishti might be angry and confused and hate Kunal if she finds out he left her mother because he loved another but all of that is less confusing and less painful than thinking he left because he DID NOT WANT HER. Even an adult can't handle that type of rejection and she is a kid. Mishti never had problem with sharing anything before and all of a sudden she can't share anything with Pari. Why? Because Pari has Mishti's dad and Mishti is getting no part of Kunal. Mishti needs to know she is as loved and wanted by Kunal as Pari.

Second this has to come from Kunal because Kunal is the one who hurt her. It's Kunal who needs to make amends to heal Mishti.