looking at the CVs - Page 15

Originally posted by: mango_pudding1

@fruitytoasty -- that is a great explanation about falling out of love. it is something I have been wondering about and it explains this story better. and you do raise a valid point that he didn't make more effort to work on the marriage though he says that he fought his feelings. like you said, he could have voiced some of the things that he may have been unhappy with mouli about. if the CVs had shown that step, at least him still progressing to nandini after that would have made more sense.

re: radha/meera Q -- thanks @fruitytoasty @charu @naq5 for the clarifications and explanations.

Originally posted by: mango_pudding1

@pamk06 -- self realization and gaining perspective is both difficult and time consuming. often, we need the help of a 3rd party to sometimes gain an insight into our actions and behaviours. so if we look at it from that angle, it is possible that from his perspective, he really has no clue what happened. what is that phrase -- too close to the zone to make a call? well, something like that...

if we get no explanation from kunal, then it is clear from the CVs that the theme of the drama was not about discussing how emas occur but rather about the fallout of emas and how it affects all 3 people involved as well as others. so the drama might have a stronger development in that region and just leave the why explanation vague.

Originally posted by: mango_pudding1

@fruitytoasty -- that is a great explanation about falling out of love. it is something I have been wondering about and it explains this story better. and you do raise a valid point that he didn't make more effort to work on the marriage though he says that he fought his feelings. like you said, he could have voiced some of the things that he may have been unhappy with mouli about. if the CVs had shown that step, at least him still progressing to nandini after that would have made more sense.

re: radha/meera Q -- thanks @fruitytoasty @charu @naq5 for the clarifications and explanations.

Sometimes, I wonder why we use this term, falling in love and and falling out of love. I feel that, whatever it is that attracts us towards a person, we believe it will make us happy and we are essentially choosing that when we say we are falling in love. But later when we develop differences that over a period of time become unresolvable, we feel we have fallen out of love. Or, even in the absence of differences, when we find ourselves getting attracted to another person, we simply tell ourselves that we have fallen out of love.

Originally posted by: pamk06

But then the question arises that what would he work on his marriage. They showed that his marriage was perfect, he had no complaints against Mauli. Even if he did have issues, we never see him consciously thinking about that or pointing it out that he was unhappy with Mauli.

I, so wish they would have shown the issues in their marriage but based on what they showed us, he realizes his feelings for her (may be he already had them but during dance he acknowledged them) and his slow descent to where he is now.Even when he was fighting them, not once did he blame their marriage for it or even Mauli. He only blamed himself and we see him getting scared of them, indirectly seeking Mauli help, lashing out at the existence of Nandini between them, trying to stay away from her and finally giving up. I do think that it would have always remain unsaid if he would not have found out that Nandini reciprocates them but after that it almost seemed like that there was no turning back for him.

We as viewers did see some issues in their marriage which CV's pointed out to us but Kunal never acknowledged them.

I guess we are trying too hard to see him as someone who needs a reason to fall out of marriage, we are seeing him as a perfect man who's in pure love with Nandini, but that's not the thing, falling out of love doesn't need a reason, it just happens, it's easy to fall in love with people but it's difficult to like them, with Kunal and Mauli, I think they passed the phase where you can't keep your hands off of each other, their romance was very much alive but I think falling for Nandini has a lot to do with his upbringing, he has been surrounded by strong women all his life, his mom may have needed him emotionally at some point same goes for Mauli but they never needed him to help them physically, they are self-sufficient in many ways, Mauli can punch Rajdeep so Kunal doesn't have to help her, do you remember the scene after dance competition where Kunal was thrashing Rajdeep and Mauli stopped him, then she said she'll take care of Rajdeep and she went to speak with him, do you think Kunal would allow Nandini the same space to speak with Rajdeep alone as he allowed Mauli, he didn't hound Mauli because he knows that she's strong, from beginning to upcoming episodes when society women are insulting Nandini, KuNan has been about Kunal saving Nandini, Nandini boosts that part of Kunal which needed to be a protector, that's why they don't have any sort of emotional bonding, their relationship is purely physical where Kunal is playing role of a protector and Nandini of a woman who needs him in every way, with his protector instincts he can't even ask Mauli to be more like Nandini or be someone she's not, so here comes the point of falling in love and liking her, he's in love with Nandini now, but would he in future when she acts like she is acting now? She is codependent and sometimes things that you love about your partner irk you when you spend more time with them, Nandini needing him is a brand new experience so he's drawn to her now but this will wear off and he'd expect her to change in future

Originally posted by: SummerRain7

Sometimes, I wonder why we use this term, falling in love and and falling out of love. I feel that, whatever it is that attracts us towards a person, we believe it will make us happy and we are essentially choosing that when we say we are falling in love. But later when we develop differences that over a period of time become unresolvable, we feel we have fallen out of love. Or, even in the absence of differences, when we find ourselves getting attracted to another person, we simply tell ourselves that we have fallen out of love.

I remember reading somewhere about an interesting theory about how it is our brain that chooses things for us, and once that choice is made , our mind just becomes a PR agent of our brain and gives reasons and explanations to back that choice or decision. Our brain choosing it, is kind of not within our control because it is to fulfill a need that we don't even realize that we have. Our mind which is usually conditioned with a set of ideas, will then provide reasoning and explanation to reject or except it. For example, it is the brain that stimulates hunger when we need food in our body. Like that, there could be numerous other physical, emotional and intellectual needs , some of which may be buried deep down in our unconscious. When exactly those needs will be triggered would be difficult to say or predict and that could be the reason why we find ourselves wanting something badly even when our mind is rejecting it repeatedly.

So it's not really the other person that makes you 'fall in love', it is some unfulfilled need that your brain is signalling you to fulfill. And Kunal's mind here couldn't put up a good fight for Mauli and was completely sold on the idea of Nandini, at least for now.

Originally posted by: pamk06

Wow, that an interesting theory. So basically what we call as heart is our brain. I never thought of separating brain vs mind. It was always one and the same for me. It also answers a very a basic question that I have been struggling to understand from a long time of how does a heart feel. It just an organ if you really go to the basics. But brain makes more sense.

May be his unfulfilled need is his savior instinct or the need to protect and take care. Mauli being so strong, he is really not able to use that but Nandini is a different matter. I remember in one of the initial episode, when Kunal and Mauli are travelling, the see an accident and he without caring about anything, goes on to save the people inside the car. So he does have that.

Bold 1 - I used to think the same. But if it is our brain that triggers our physical and sexual needs, then it only makes sense that our emotional, intellectual and other uncategorized needs should also be triggered by the brain. And those needs are never within the realm of right and wrong, but it is our mind that does the filtering and that would totally depend on our conditioning, circunstances etc. We spoke earlier about some moral boundaries that we set for ourselves. I think all that comes into action urging us to act or stopping us from doing sonething.

Originally posted by: FruitToasty

I guess we are trying too hard to see him as someone who needs a reason to fall out of marriage, we are seeing him as a perfect man who's in pure love with Nandini, but that's not the thing, falling out of love doesn't need a reason, it just happens, it's easy to fall in love with people but it's difficult to like them, with Kunal and Mauli, I think they passed the phase where you can't keep your hands off of each other, their romance was very much alive but I think falling for Nandini has a lot to do with his upbringing, he has been surrounded by strong women all his life, his mom may have needed him emotionally at some point same goes for Mauli but they never needed him to help them physically, they are self-sufficient in many ways, Mauli can punch Rajdeep so Kunal doesn't have to help her, do you remember the scene after dance competition where Kunal was thrashing Rajdeep and Mauli stopped him, then she said she'll take care of Rajdeep and she went to speak with him, do you think Kunal would allow Nandini the same space to speak with Rajdeep alone as he allowed Mauli, he didn't hound Mauli because he knows that she's strong, from beginning to upcoming episodes when society women are insulting Nandini, KuNan has been about Kunal saving Nandini, Nandini boosts that part of Kunal which needed to be a protector, that's why they don't have any sort of emotional bonding, their relationship is purely physical where Kunal is playing role of a protector and Nandini of a woman who needs him in every way, with his protector instincts he can't even ask Mauli to be more like Nandini or be someone she's not, so here comes the point of falling in love and liking her, he's in love with Nandini now, but would he in future when she acts like she is acting now? She is codependent and sometimes things that you love about your partner irk you when you spend more time with them, Nandini needing him is a brand new experience so he's drawn to her now but this will wear off and he'd expect her to change in future

Originally posted by: pamk06

Thank you, that was exactly what I was thinking when I wrote that. In no way, I am calling her a Radha.

Also, I think, for Nandini, the only thing left is his love and thus for her his happiness is the most important as they showed us when she was praying during the Ganesh festival. So, I do think if she does get an inkling that his happiness lies with Mauli, she will walk that path.

Originally posted by: SummerRain7

Bold 1 - I used to think the same. But if it is our brain that triggers our physical and sexual needs, then it only makes sense that our emotional, intellectual and other uncategorized needs should also be triggered by the brain. And those needs are never within the realm of right and wrong, but it is our mind that does the filtering and that would totally depend on our conditioning, circunstances etc. We spoke earlier about some moral boundaries that we set for ourselves. I think all that comes into action urging us to act or stopping us from doing sonething.

Bold 2 - Yes. It could all come back to a savior complex. Very recently I read a post on a different thread here, that spoke about a hero complex , citing the same example that you did.

So, in the absence of any obvious irriconcilable differences between Kunal and Mauli, this is the only theory that makes sense as of now.

Originally posted by: pamk06

I agree with everything that you said except for the part where their bonding is more physical than emotional. IMO, its the other way round, its more emotional than physical. If its was physical, the consummation scene would have happened immediately after the confession and Kunal would not have regretted the consummation. Also, their emotional bonding came across in their cafe conversation, the phone call after Mauli finds out and his murmuring her name in sleep. (believe me, I cribbed about it for days on this very thread, on how the strong bond between them materialize suddenly, but alas!!)

I do not know whether this temporary or permanent but we just have to wait to see how the story unfolds.

Kunal would have consummated after confession but Mauli interrupted, then when it happened it was Nandini who initiated it, so I guess he needed a push, Kunal didn't have a problem being intimate with Nandini, but his regret after sleeping with Nandini indicates his emotional bonding with Mauli, why would he regret if he was emotionally and physically invested in Nandini, if he was as emotionally connected to Nandini, I think he would have been as happy as Nandini was, Nandini is committed to him emotionally and physically, but that's not the case with Kunal. If I put myself in his place, I think first thing I would do for my love, who has been through trauma of abuse for years, is taking him to a shrink, maybe he believes that he will heal her but I think I would have needed the security of assurance that I am not just a rebound for him. Nandini is still Rajdeep's wife, what I am trying to say when you are emotionally attached to someone you make sure they won't face problems, but Kunal is not doing that for her, he's not trying to ease her problems, he is there to protect her but he's not looking for a deterrent.


Physical relationship isn't only about sex, they are comfortable physically with each other, like Nandini rests her head on his shoulder, they hug each other but they do not talk