Joint family vs Nuclear family.... - Page 6

O M G!!! you guys are having too fun without me yaar... 😕 ithna naa insaafi??? 😔 ithni bereham pathar dil kaise bane?? 😭

I am only half way thru reading this thread... ruk jao bhai... mai abhi wapas aakar apna rai post karthi hu... agar mereliye kuch bacha ho tho... 😆

Originally posted by: ~*simran*~

Hi ji😊. Haan ji, I'm the Dev Team of that forum. It was the only show I watched on TV. Then I wanted to watch SGP b/c Jay Soni played Jigar on BBB. Then I saw it was pretty similar to BBB (no vamps, no single person sacrificing and making it look so unrealistic). Eventually, I got hooked to it ji. I love shows that show a nice family setting without the extensive sagas of everyone giving zulim to one types. Family problems and relationships are complicated enough to add a vamp😆.

Nice meeting you ji😊

Yes, BBB was great...and hopefully SGP also remains the same......

Originally posted by: vishmewell

Yeah, you should be more frequent in SGP so that we could pick your brains Pallavi. Here we are totally unbiased about characters or the people. We miss your unbiased, level headed discussions here. You are always welcome to our new virtual home. 😳

Sorry folks... I became gaayab last few days... I am traveling this whole week and will be sporadic in the forum... Ithni bhi masti math karo yaaron mere gair haazri mein.. kaam pe nahi lagtha mera mann... 😆

Now time for my POV guys!!!

The kind of JF we are seeing SGP is very rare or no longer exist. I mean the size. Instead of focusing on what's already been said, I want to shed different perspective.

I think everyone is on the same page understanding the advantages and disadvantages about NF and of course it's definition. So I want to talk about NJF... Nuclear-Joint Family... sounds like a different term right? Considering larger Indian population living in nuclear families, I am wondering if JF system as one in SGP is moot for this population...

If someone from nuclear families like Appu, Simran and few others, get married into another nuclear family, and Shounak gets married and his wife becomes a new addition to his family, would you call it Joint Family? Either it is the boy or the girl, isn't it just one extra person in family size? Should that one extra person really matter? That's the dilemma I am in, trying to redefine JF.

Something to remember: In this modern age, both sets of parents are broad minded and really don't interfere with their kids' life coz they have their own.

I was pleasantly surprised that Smriti aka serialjunkie quoted her close friend (who is successful and handsome) with who the girls are willing to date and go clubbing, but not get married to him for his living arrangements. I will reserve my comments on this :-). I feel it is the parenting to be blamed for not teaching their daughters the family values. Not everyone is like that too... so there are exceptions.

The present trend of so called nuclear families of 21st century, there are innumerable girls who do not want to live even in NJF. But they want their parents and parents-in-law as soon as they have a baby to baby sit their kids, and take care of the household chores until the kid starts going to school FT. This in their definition is a nuclear family. This genre of nuclear families in my opinion have no concept of family itself. Sorry this is not intended to offend anybody's POV.

@ Simran - I am really impressed that you want a joint family. Very sweet of.

@ Appu - You have such clarity in your thinking you will make a good wife, DIL, SIL, and a great mother in future. 👏

@ Shounak - It is really good to hear from a man's perspective. You sure know what you want. I thought men who are quiet like you will love Suhaa types... 😆. NO? But trust me, girls like Suhana are easy to tame coz they are so pure at heart. All you need to give them is Love and they will remain so loving rest of the life. 😉

@ Laxmi - wonderful topic dear... you have value added first hand information on joint family.

I did live with nearly 49 people under one roof for a year after my marriage. And as most of you pointed out, there is no ambition or higher aspirations coz everyone is happy and all needs are met. But I realized that my husband had great passion further his career and academic qualifications. By then he already had 2 engineering degrees and a MBA from IIM. He still wanted to do his MS from US and was softer than Ishaan when it comes to his family. His family had a firm no for his plea. With the result he was such an unhappy man and I did not want to live with an unhappy man rest of my life. So I gathered all info application forms for few reputed Universities in US from Chennai consulate office and had my hubby fill them and within a month took GRE and TOEFL. All this operation was a secret mission. Four months after, he was on his way to US.

The downside of this dare devil act of mine, resulted in my in-laws resenting me. Nevertheless, when my son came along after couple of months, he was instrumental in making the saural walon ka naarazgi gaayab...😳 Meanwhile, I had lots of fun with bacha party. Almost 7-8 kids tending on me... 🤣 pura pura faida uthaaya... 🤣🤣

So, the dynamics in JF are different. You still can do whatever you want, if it is totally justified and there's no other option left. You have to have a convincing reason and pleasantness towards other family members because it takes time for conditions to become normal there after.😳

Originally posted by: reguser

Thanks for the welcome, Vish.

Actually, SGP is such a show where no one can have a strong negative feeling about any character. I feel, in such shows (BBB, SGP), the main thing is everyone is accepted as they are and hence naturally, there are no vamps. With this fact always in the background, there can not be any character who is totally right and at the same time there can not be any character who is totally wrong. Even Ba of BBB, was shown wrong at times. But, she overcomes that with her wisdom. Same in SGP also, each one has plus and minus. But we like them as they are. Hence, I am sure, there will not be any arguments in the forum. Same in BBB forum also.. I havent seen anyone arguing...

So, now even if you tell that sometime sun rises from west, all of us will accept (in this forum) that it must be another nature of sun 😆 Ok, this is just a joke. 😆

But, it doesnt go with all the serials. Where we get to see characters with/without any selfish motives, we try to praise/criticise them. And if this criticism is not conveyed in a healthy way, it may lead to arguments.

Well, after reading this you must be thinking "Oh God... why did I tell this lady that her discussions are level headed and unbiased.....? She started giving a lecture only....." 😆

🤣 Anything is better than silence yaar.. All is well!! 🤣🤣🤣 Naa I am not changing my statements... For everything I need logic, practicality and should be based on some sciences🤣🤣 You know that better... 🤣🤣🤣 I still would say you are level headed and unbiased unless you deny that about yourself with a logical explanation... 🤣🤣🤣

Haha... I love this leg pulling...

Originally posted by: vishmewell

🤣 Anything is better than silence yaar.. All is well!! 🤣🤣🤣 Naa I am not changing my statements... For everything I need logic, practicality and should be based on some sciences🤣🤣 You know that better... 🤣🤣🤣 I still would say you are level headed and unbiased unless you deny that about yourself with a logical explanation... 🤣🤣🤣

Haha... I love this leg pulling...

Originally posted by: vishmewell

Sorry folks... I became gaayab last few days... I am traveling this whole week and will be sporadic in the forum... Ithni bhi masti math karo yaaron mere gair haazri mein.. kaam pe nahi lagtha mera mann... 😆

Now time for my POV guys!!!

The kind of JF we are seeing SGP is very rare or no longer exist. I mean the size. Instead of focusing on what's already been said, I want to shed different perspective.

I think everyone is on the same page understanding the advantages and disadvantages about NF and of course it's definition. So I want to talk about NJF... Nuclear-Joint Family... sounds like a different term right? Considering larger Indian population living in nuclear families, I am wondering if JF system as one in SGP is moot for this population...

If someone from nuclear families like Appu, Simran and few others, get married into another nuclear family, and Shounak gets married and his wife becomes a new addition to his family, would you call it Joint Family? Either it is the boy or the girl, isn't it just one extra person in family size? Should that one extra person really matter? That's the dilemma I am in, trying to redefine JF.

Something to remember: In this modern age, both sets of parents are broad minded and really don't interfere with their kids' life coz they have their own.

I was pleasantly surprised that Smriti aka serialjunkie quoted her close friend (who is successful and handsome) with who the girls are willing to date and go clubbing, but not get married to him for his living arrangements. I will reserve my comments on this :-). I feel it is the parenting to be blamed for not teaching their daughters the family values. Not everyone is like that too... so there are exceptions.

The present trend of so called nuclear families of 21st century, there are innumerable girls who do not want to live even in NJF. But they want their parents and parents-in-law as soon as they have a baby to baby sit their kids, and take care of the household chores until the kid starts going to school FT. This in their definition is a nuclear family. This genre of nuclear families in my opinion have no concept of family itself. Sorry this is not intended to offend anybody's POV.

@ Simran - I am really impressed that you want a joint family. Very sweet of.

@ Appu - You have such clarity in your thinking you will make a good wife, DIL, SIL, and a great mother in future. 👏

@ Shounak - It is really good to hear from a man's perspective. You sure know what you want. I thought men who are quiet like you will love Suhaa types... 😆. NO? But trust me, girls like Suhana are easy to tame coz they are so pure at heart. All you need to give them is Love and they will remain so loving rest of the life. 😉

@ Laxmi - wonderful topic dear... you have value added first hand information on joint family.

I did live with nearly 49 people under one roof for a year after my marriage. And as most of you pointed out, there is no ambition or higher aspirations coz everyone is happy and all needs are met. But I realized that my husband had great passion further his career and academic qualifications. By then he already had 2 engineering degrees and a MBA from IIM. He still wanted to do his MS from US and was softer than Ishaan when it comes to his family. His family had a firm no for his plea. With the result he was such an unhappy man and I did not want to live with an unhappy man rest of my life. So I gathered all info application forms for few reputed Universities in US from Chennai consulate office and had my hubby fill them and within a month took GRE and TOEFL. All this operation was a secret mission. Four months after, he was on his way to US.

The downside of this dare devil act of mine, resulted in my in-laws resenting me. Nevertheless, when my son came along after couple of months, he was instrumental in making the saural walon ka naarazgi gaayab...😳 Meanwhile, I had lots of fun with bacha party. Almost 7-8 kids tending on me... 🤣 pura pura faida uthaaya... 🤣🤣

So, the dynamics in JF are different. You still can do whatever you want, if it is totally justified and there's no other option left. You have to have a convincing reason and pleasantness towards other family members because it takes time for conditions to become normal there after.😳

I also agree with the bold part^^ It annoys me so much, ke phele duhai do privacy ki aur phir bachche aaye nahi toh mummyji yaad aayi nahi.

Originally posted by: reguser

Yes, I have seen your logic, practicality and sicence. It is good in certain areas, but doesnt work in all 😆 Love is beyond all logic 😉

Same thing applies to Ishan's love towards Suhana also, right? Suhana (I prefer calling her as "Toofan") is a spoilt brat, who was in love with someone, who thinks money and X-factor in boys is the most important thing for any husband and which she thinks Ishan doesnt have.....is still loved by Ishan. So does this love has any logic?

Yes, I agree....at times it is irritating to see illogical stuff in serials/movies. But, love is one thing which doesnt need all these. I know I am being filmy here 😉

People (Other than Laxmi & Aparna) must be wondering what is going on here 😆

Well, reguser, Love is an important ingredient of life. Otherwise, two people will not be getting married and make babies. Mere attraction between a man and a woman is itself science. Because it involves your hormones. And same love applies to other relationships too..

The reason Ishaan is patient with Suhana is definitely Love. But the point to be noted here is, he is using human psychology as a basis. He is not swayed away by pure emotions. If he did, he would have been irrational and illogical and would have been on his way to being a devdas.
He is using his rationale, timing, and set a tone so that he can tame her. For someone to tame a person, they have to have a perfect blend of temper (anger management), logic, which is again a science, timing (for this element one needs to have a thorough understanding of a personality. so certain level of Psychology is applied, which is again a science), he is managing Suhana's temper very well which is PR another science, at the dining table scene when Inder teased Suhana about giving away stuff she doesnt like, suhana looked up to Ishaan for help and he quietly stood up with a an expression I am deeply sorry. That gesture is called body language, which is again a science, which resulted in her trying to leave. Rano pitched in right away sensing something was wrong. To transpire that kind of reaction, one must have good HR skills quickly being able to involve higher authority. So, that's again a science!

And peole's actions are governed by governance of Law enforcement and justice system which are again another form of science. The system or society we live in is a science, Political science.

The entire human evolution and existence is based on science.

So, sorry dear I am not convinced 😆😆

Originally posted by: ~*simran*~

I also agree with the bold part^^ It annoys me so much, ke phele duhai do privacy ki aur phir bachche aaye nahi toh mummyji yaad aayi nahi.

No offense meant ji, just my personal opinion on what I have witnessed in my life:)

The concept of having a family itself doesn't exist anymore. Physically living in a nuclear family when life presents such situations is fine. But one has to be at least mentally with the JF and be able to juggle between uncles, aunts, cousins, in-laws for a healthy cultural life. This is again my POV.