I just went through your post, very well said Laxmi 👏! I agree with everything you said!
Here are few points from my side 😳 (not that few 😆)...
There are both advantages and disadvantages for both, Joint Families (JF) & Nuclear Families (NF). The advantages of JF would be disadvantages of NF, & vice versa. I would like to list out the advantages & disadvantages of the 2 as below...
ADVANTAGES OF NF / DISADVANTAGES OF JF
1) In NF, you have privacy to DO whatever you want, HAVE whatever you want, and most importantly, BE YOURSELF instead of thinking before every step you take 'what will others think about me'. U have the freedom to live your life the way you want, not the way others want you to be. Same is not the case with JF. Eventually you just get used to sacrificing small happinesses in your life, and ur families' life for the sake of a bigger crowd.
2) In JF, you cannot excel and reach beyond a certain standard of living in life, even if you and your life partner has the capacity for it. You cannot have lot of things (materialistic), just bcos few others in the house cannot have them. But in NF, you can reach a totally different level and standard of living in the long run with your efforts and caliber. So today maybe you are middle class, but after 10 years, you might be rich and your status might be high class with all luxuries in life. So people have a reason to be ambitious in life.
3) There would be lot of interference regarding everything in ur life, the way you dress, the way u have set ur bedroom, ur clothes, what ur child has to study, holiday trips, etc. And in JF, in most cases, forget about extra honeymoons after ur 1st one 😆, & individual famiy holidays, as there might be some members who may not be able to afford it, & it will not be nice of you to go on individual family holidays (especially to foreign countries!), when others have never stepped out of India.
4) While raising children, in NF, you can raise ur children exactly the way you want, with the kind of values you want ur child to have. Maybe ur values are not that traditional, and want your child to be more broad minded in his/her perspective, but when in a JF, there will be lot of interference from elders and others, and if your independent values don't match with that of the majority, everyone will interfere and not allow you to incorporate those values in your child.
5) In JF, the child sometimes loses importance for his/her parents, as there are so many people involved in his/her upbringing. So the child might conveniently follow those whose attitude and interest matches with his/her, even though his/her real parents might want him/her to be something else. Sometimes it might also be frustrating to see how your child doesn't care about what you think, and does what someone else in the house is supporting him/her to do, especially when it comes to major decisions in his/her life.
6) JF is a perfect place for people with low living standards and low financial income, as every effort is directed to provide them protection and not make them feel low, whereas people who have the resources to enjoy various comforts and luxuries in life are the ones who are usually the scapegoats to sacrifice and understand others in this aspect.
7) In NF, you can afford the best for your family and children, especially in case of their education and other extra curricular activities that might shape up ur child's future and personality. But in JF, in most cases, even if you want you may not be able to do anything extra for ur child as everyone ensures that whatever is provided for their own child, the same is bought for the other children in the family also, like if the JF has 8 kids in the house, when you buy something for ur kid, you might have to buy the same for the rest as well, and if it is something expensive, you might have to refrain from buying that for ur kid as u cant afford 8 pieces of it.
8) In JF, people tend to have lot of pent up emotions in the long run.
9) In JF, there are chances of people watching every move of yours and judging everything you do. Something happens in ur life or you do something different, and various people in the house sees it differently and starts discussion with some of them coming and advising you against repeating it, etc. This can really irritate you and make life uneasy.
10) When problems and arguments occur (especially if you are involved), certain negativity spreads, and it becomes really uncomfortable to move around freely in the house after a similar incident as people might give u a cold shoulder, and some people might also keep such incidents in mind in the long run. Even if there is some problem between other members in the family, you need to make urself as neutral as possible so that u don't hurt the feelings of others whom u might be close to in the family. Like the saying goes, 'distance makes the heart grow fonder', & some people say, its alway better to live separately if you want to maintain love and respect for each other in the long run.
So in short, In JF, ADJUSTMENT, ADJUSTMENT, ADJUSTMENT 😆!!
ADVANTAGES OF JF / DISADVANTAGES OF NF
1) JF teaches the values of sharing and not being selfish.
2) JF teaches the values of adjusting and flexibilitiy, which can go a long way in life when you marry or when you have to live an independent life in a totally new or different environment, which unfortunately people brought up in NF with all comforts and less adjustments might find difficult.
3) In JF, one person faces a problem, and there are so many people to troubleshoot. One person's problem turns into the problem of an entire group. So you feel more relaxed as the burden of dealing with the problem alone is off your head, and on the head of elders in the family.
4) In JF, children's upbringing becomes very easy as there are soo many people to take care of the child. So being the mother or father, even if you are busy in life with work or any other commitments, no need to worry abut ur child as u know he/she will be taken care of, fed properly, make sure homeworks are completed, etc. This is a huge relief especially in times of sickness of the child.
5) So in JF, you can be totally focused as far as your career or work is concerned, without the tension of your children.
6) Living in JF for a long time, you learn how to deal with people and understand the dynamics of human psychology, as you are staying with various people of different attitude, perception and behaviour. In the long run, it becomes easy to gauge and understand people and their emotions.
7) A person born and brought up in JF are considered better life partners due to the qualities of UNDERSTANDING, ADJUSTING, & SELFLESSNESS.
8) Being in a JF, if you ever fall in life or if you are the one with monetary problems, you will not be given a chance to feel low in life and you will be able to face it with more strength and support from so many people, which will help you to easily rise again in life.
Well there are both advantages and disadvantages for Joint Families & Nuclear Families, you cannot say which is better, it just depends upon people, their attitude and perception, what they want from life, etc. But in my personal opinion, I would prefer NF to JF in the long run 😳.
The above is my analysis on Joint Family vs Nuclear Family. Please feel free to add in more points if I have missed out on any 😳, and I will also add in more points if I remember any more later on 😆!
Edited by *dewdrop~pearl* - 15 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
