Originally posted by: LadyMcbeth
Wow what a wonderful topic! Before I discuss the pros and cons, I have a personal experience to share: In an inter-college debate we got the same topic. My partner and I got the "Joint Family". I think in this age and time, there are more benefits to being in a nuclear family vs. joint family, but since we got the topic we had to go with it. We put up such a tough fight that we ended up being tied in the debate 😆 The judge couldn't conclusively announce the winner! Any hoo ...
Here are my thoughts - (I am going to use SGP as an example for objectifying my thoughts)
JF teaches you a good values like adjustment, sacrifice, and caring. You get the protection and wise guidance of your elders. If you have working parents, a JF gives you attention and oversight you need as a child. But IMO somewhere in this whole deal, you tend to lose your individuality. If you are weak, you are bullied over. If you are shy, you are become a butt of someone's jokes, just like Ishaan.
Like Aparna mentioned, you never rise above a certain level for the fear of hurting someone's feelings, even if you can afford it. i.e. Both Ishaan and his Dad work. Their standard of living both as individuals and as a family is definitely higher than Elesh and Inder. So affording an AC shouldn't be SUCH a big deal. Yet getting something inconsequential as an AC becomes a matter of household debate because it affects the dynamics of the household.
You end up sacrificing a LOT of your small pleasures in life. Going for an extended honeymoon, indulging in an extra saree, or fulfilling your child's demand for an expensive gizmo. That shouldn't be. Life shouldn't have to simply be one big adjustment. Ever since evolution, man is a flexible creature. He adapts to any situation that he lands in. So there is no need of being in a JF to learn how to adjust, sacrifice, care etc. These feelings have to come from within. And they do, once you find the right person to spend the rest of your life with. A lot of it also depends on parents. If they teach their kids good values, their children will behave appropriately.
But JF's are not entirely bad. JFs are good for people like Elesh who doesn't have a decent job, or Inder whose father has left them for good or Radha Bua whose husband turned out to be a loser. But for Ishaan, being in a JF is more harmful than good because it has turned him into a complacent individual with no burning desires in his life, until Suhana stepped in. So if you ask me to take a stand, I would say it depends on your situation in life.
👏 Very well said! Even though life is about loving, caring, relationships, etc, but individual needs and desires are also important. So it depends totally upon individual, his/her aspirations and expectations from life, circumstances and resources, and the JF itself.
And I loved what you said about human beings and their ability to eventually adjust themselves to any situation. This reminds me of a situation that I had encountered once. Like Suhana, even I am used to sleeping in a/c. So our flat in India has a/c in all rooms. Once when we came to India during a hot summer season, it rained heavily that the electric connection got screwed up and the current went for like 2 whole days. Initially when the current went, since our flat has a generator, lights and fans were working, but me and my sister were complaining that we will have to sleep under the fan. But guess what happened then, after running for couple of hours, the generator also screwed up 😆 and by evening, neither we had a/c nor fan ! 2 whole days we had to sleep without fan or ac! Here we were complaining about sleeping under the fan and there we lost both fan and ac that me and my sis were actually praying 'only if we atleast had a fan' 😆! We couldnt even open our windows as it was hot outside and no wind at all. Just imagine sleeping in a flat without fan or ac, without any form of wind movement ! Thinking back the scene was hilarious, all of us were lying on the bed and had a magazine in our hands and were waving it for some cool air, just imagine going to sleep waving the magazine, how could we ever sleep with our hands moving like that ?! The first night we could hardly sleep, but you wont believe, the 2nd night, all of us actually slept without any air movement in the room 😲! So I guess this would be a perfect example of what you mentioned, that if an unavoidable situation arises that you have no choice, automatically human beings will adjust themselves and eventually get used to it. Guess its only about some starting trouble 😉!
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