FF:First Love~LAST PART~ page 81 12/9/11 - Page 17

Part 10

Gopi hovered between reality and the dream world. She felt as though she was floating on air, but someone was preventing her from falling. She instinctly trusted this unknown person; she knew he wouldn't let her fall. When she felt herself gently being place on a soft cloud like surface, she tightened her arms around the person and muttered, "please, don't leave me."

Gopi felt someone gently place her arms at her side then someone gently placing their hand on her head and a soft kiss on her forehead. She then felt warmth surrounding her.

Next morning Gopi woke up disoriented, last thing she had remembered doing was leaning her head back in the chair to observe her husband. As she became more aware of her surroundings, she felt his heavy arm around her waist holding her tightly. She felt his warm breath on her neck. Her back was nestled to his front, his one leg thrown over hers, so she was unable to move. She realized his hand was resting on her bare stomach spanning the area from edge of her blouse to her waist. Her sari pallu was un-tucked and out of the way.

Gopi closed her eyes to savor this moment, just last night she had been curious about being held in his arms, and now she knows. She was loath to move, but at the same time she didn't want him to wake up and see her reluctance to move.

Before Gopi could move out of his arms, she felt him tighten his arm around her and felt him nuzzle her neck. She felt a shiver go down her spine and her heart beat increasing. She froze in place, afraid to move and waited to see if he is awake. When she felt him breathing evenly, she gave a huge sigh of relief and slowly moved out of his arms to sit on the side of the bed to get her bearings. She got up and walked towards her closet on shaky legs to get her clothes to get ready for the day.

Ahem turned on his back and opened his eyes when he heard the quiet click of the bathroom door being latched. He took several deep breaths to control himself. It had taken all his will power not to turn her on her back and take advantage of their situation.

He had kept his lust, for his wife, in check for the past eight months, but now it was getting harder and harder to control his primitive needs, especially in the last three months, when she had started avoiding him the most.

He knew she was not immune to him either, he had felt her shiver of delight, her reluctance to move out of his arms immediately, and it had given him tiny ray of hope. The night before he had arrogantly told Kinjle that Gopi loved him, but he really hadn't been sure, he was still unsure of her feelings for him, but he knew she is attracted to him, so he will start with that, he will keep her with him, even if he had to seduce her to stay with him. It is time, for Gopi Ahem Modi to find out how stubborn her husband is when it comes to getting what he wants.

When Gopi came in the room with his tea, he was only half ready, he was scolding someone on the phone and all his files were scattered everywhere. Gopi scowled at him for the mess. He mouthed a quick thanks to her when she gathered his files to put in the bag.

When she was finished, Ahem covered the phone with his hand. "Gopi, I need a tie." Gopi immediately went to his wardrobe to get him a matching tie to go with his blue shirt. When she brought it to him, he gestured for her to tie it on him while he continued his conversation.

Gopi hesitated a bit then shrugged her shoulders; she lifted the shirt collar and put the tie around his neck. Ahem stopped listening to the person at the other end of the phone as watched his wife struggle to fasten the top button of his shirt. He realized she was struggling because he was so much taller than her. He took her hand and walked towards the bed, he sat down so it would be easier for her, but that also made it difficult for her, because now she had to bend her back, in the end she just kneeled in front of him to put the tie on him.

He inhaled sharply when he felt her soft hand on his skin when she fastened the button. She also froze and looked up to meet his eyes, and looked way quickly when she saw his eyes flare with an unnamed emotion. She snuck a look at him several time while tying the tie around his neck. She looked away quickly each time, when she saw him starring back at her intently. She finished the task fast as she could, because being near him was making her breath catch and her heart to race.

Ahem took her hand to help her stand and stood up himself. He reluctantly released her hand when she tugged on it. She took his Jacket and held it out for him to put it on him. She handed him his wallet and handkerchief. She then went back to the wardrobe to get him his favorite watch and his sunglasses. She had just finished fastening his watch to his wrist when he ended the conversation.

Gopi started to move away from him but Ahem caught her hand and pulled her to him, he quickly put his arms around her waist to prevent her from moving away from him. Gopi's eyes widened in surprise, and before she could do or say anything they heard someone speak from the doorway.

"Bhai, bhabhi, if you are finished saying your private goodbyes, we are waiting breakfast for you downstairs." Ahem and Gopi turned to see Jigar and Kinjle standing in the doorway with huge grins on their faces.

Ahem glared at his siblings and scowled at Gopi when she stiffened and attempted to move out of his arms. "You two go downstairs, we will join you in five minutes, I want to say something to Gopi, and close the door." He didn't take his eyes off of Gopi as he waited for his siblings to leave, closing the door behind them.

Gopi didn't relax even after they were alone in the privacy of their room. She refused to look at Ahem. He sighed at Gopi's stubbornness, it was ok for her to relax against him when she thought he was sleeping, but now that he was watching and waiting for her reaction, she put all the barriers back up again. He promised himself and her that he would knock down each and every wall surrounding her heart with his love. After all she will forever be his first and only love.

Gopi closed her eyes and curled her fingers into a fist to keep from putting her arms around Ahem and hanging on for dear life. She felt him wrap her in his arms and hug her tightly, but refused to lift her arms to hug him back. She felt him move back reluctantly and kiss her forehead, she felt tears prickling behind her closed eyelids at his gesture of affection, but refused to give into her emotions, she couldn't afford to give him that kinds of liberty to her heart. It has taken her long time to mend her broken heart, now she had nothing left to give anyone. Not her father, her brother or Ahem. They had all let her down at one time or another; making her realize, that she was better off being on her own.

When Ahem loosened his arms from around Gopi, she backed up several steps. "Gopi you can hide your feelings from me, but how will you hide them from yourself? You can deny all you want, but you and I both know that there is something unfinished between us. I will not give up on us even if you have, unless you can look me in the eyes and tell me that you feel nothing for me. Can you do that? Gopi refused to look at him and continued to star at her feet. "I didn't think so, at least that gives me hope." He picked up his bag and walked out of the room, leaving Gopi starring after him with unshed tears in her eyes.

Ahem didn't realize how big of a task it was going to be to mend Gopi's broken heart until he met her brother later that day.

When Ahem met Raj, he noticed that he had very little resemblance to Gopi, they both had the same colored eyes, and both had the same intelligence shinning in them, but that's as far as it went. They made small talk for a while, Ahem waited for Raj to tell him why he wanted to meet Ahem and not Gopi.

Raj folded his hands in front of him and finally asked about Gopi. "Ahem, how is Gopi? Is she happy?"

Ahem rolled the pen in his hand and thought about how to answer Raj. Is Gopi happy? How do I tell you that she is not happy, and the reason she is not, is sitting in front of you.

Ahem took a deep breath and faced Gopi's brother. "If you are asking me how she is physically, I would say she is fine, she has been bit stressed lately and there are several reasons for this, one of them is our marriage. So that answers you're second question, about her being happy."

Ahem could see Raj was taken back by his answer and also looked confused. "Did Gopi ever tell you why she left the first college she attended?"

Ahem managed to surprise Raj once again. "No, she didn't tell me. When I dropped her at the college, I had promised her that I would go and get her when she called me, no questions asked. But something big must have happened to her, because when she came back she wasn't the same Gopi that I dropped off at college."

"What do you mean?"

"By now you probably know that Gopi and my father don't have a close relationship, in fact they have no relationship at all. Her whole world revolved around kakima and me. It never bothered her that dad didn't love her as long as one of us was around. Then Kakima left when Gopi was sixteen, and our mami and Rashi had moved in with us permanently. After that things got worse for Gopi, as mami and Rashi found ways to get Gopi in more trouble with dad. I was not around much also as I was starting my new job, which kept me traveling a lot." Raj got up and moved to the windows to stare out at the view.

"Gopi has been sheltered her whole life, one because kakima and I were her whole world and two she was afraid of our father when she was young, so she refused to go out and make friends. I think she was also afraid that if she made any friends they would also think there was something wrong with her if they found out that out mother died when she was born. This made her rather shy and reserved. Anyways I decided to send her away from Mami and dad for a while, she begged me not to do it, but I refused to give in, and I think she was hurt that I didn't take her side for the first time."

As Ahem listened to Raj tell him about Gopi, he flashed back to that first day of college and the fear on Gopi's face. She really hadn't wanted to be there. He listened as Raj continued.

"Anyways at first she was scared, but after a while when I spoke to her on the phone, she sounded happy and seemed to enjoying herself. She even told me about her roommate and how they had become fast friends. But then three months later she called me in the middle of the night and made me promised to come pick her up the next day, no questions asked."

Raj got a far away look on his face as if remembering those days. "When I brought her back, she wouldn't tell me what happened, why she wanted to come back home. She completely withdrew into herself. Then mami claimed she returned because she got out of control when she went to college and ruined family reputation, filling my dad's head with lies, she even got one of her distant relative to confirm the story who attended the same college. Mami suggested Gopi get married, and dad jumped at the chance."

Ahem head snapped up when Raj mentioned Gopi's marriage. "Did she…?" Ahem trailed of not wanting to know the answer to his question.

Raj frowned at Ahem's expression. "I was away, and by the time I returned they had fixed the marriage, Gopi never said anything one way or another, it was as though she didn't care at all. Then I met the groom, who was so much older than Gopi, and was related to Mami, I immediately knew they were after Gopi's inheritance. I had to threaten my dad to stop the marriage, and he finally relented, and stopped all talks of Gopi's marriage.

Ahem was relieved to know that Gopi hadn't been married before, but it looked like she hadn't cared what happened to her either. "If you stopped her marriage, then why is there still distance between the two of you? It seems as though you had a close relationship with her."

Raj looked away in shame. "It took a while, but Gopi finally started taking interest in things again, she decided to attend local college and got her degree in arts. Then I got married, at first things were alright, but my wife started accusing Gopi of all kinds of things, of course everything was instigated by mami and Rashi, but Gopi got blamed for everything, at the time I didn't know what mami and Rashi did to torture Gopi behind my back. I also didn't know Nisha was also a distant relative of my mami until it was too late. Then one day Nisha blamed Gopi for her miscarriage. I was so fed up by then, I also ended up yelling at Gopi and blaming her for ruining my life." Raj was unable to stop the tears forming in his eyes.

He took a deep breath. "I hurt her the most, I was always her rock, a person she could always count on, but I called her manhoos on that day in my anger and grief over loosing the baby." Raj closed his eyes, remembering the look of devastation on her face at that word, what their dad had always called her. She had stood their alone, with a blank look on her face, only for a moment; then she had turned and walked away slowly to her room.

Ahem could only imagine what it must have been like for Gopi to hear her brother call her manhoos. He wished he had forced her to talk about herself when they were friends, he wished he hadn't blindly believed what his friends told him, he wished he had given her a chance to speak up that day, but no he had been too busy protecting himself to take anything else into consideration.

"I left for US a month later, we haven't spoken in four years. She didn't even send me Rakhi in these four years." Ahem's mind flashed back to the bulky envelope in Gopi's wardrobe and the return to sender stamp.

"You are wrong, your sister is not like that, she would never do that to you." Ahem looked at Raj, the hurt on his face compelled Ahem to share with Raj what he suspects. "I think she sent you a Rakhi every year, but they were sent back."

Raj looked at Ahem in surprise. "How do you know this?"

"Just last night I saw an envelope in her closet addressed to you, it had return to sender stamp on it." Ahem was startled to hear Raj curse.

"Well that explains it, Nisha must have got hold of them and sent them back and here Gopi must have thought I sent them back."

Ahem sat up straighter when he remembered the mall incident. "That's not the only thing, she thinks you send Rashi money for Rakhi every year."

"What!" Raj didn't think it could get any worse, but why would Gopi think he sent money for Rashi? His mami must have made her think that he had, he looked up at Ahem.

"We ran into mamiji and Rashi in the mall few days ago, when we went to shop for my sister's gift and that's what mamiji told Gopi." Raj ran his hand thru his hair despairingly. Things couldn't get any worse than that.

Ahem watched as his brother-in-law's shoulder slumped in defeat. Raj and Ahem both had lot to make up for with Gopi. No wonder she refused to have anything to do with Ahem. She is tired of being let down by the most important people in her life.

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