RR through my eyes..N chapters.

Hope you guys like what I pen down about how I see RR these days.

The poem used is from DD. DD, sorry I tampered with your poem.😉

The beautiful banner is from the one and only UR (who else ?)

Thanks to shona_arhilover for helping me with adding the link to my signature

Index

1. Chapter 1 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/112792211
2. Chapter 2 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/112792244
3. Chapter 3 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/112792468
4. Chapter 4 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/112901151
5. Chapter 5 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/113016290
6. Chapter 6 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/113060699
7. Chapter 7 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/113137883
8. Chapter 8 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/113245000
9. Chapter 9 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/113302572
10. Chapter 10 : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/113380524
11. Chapter 11 onwards : https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/113516213
    

*******************************

RR through my eyes (Chapter 1)

He did what he was longing to do for the last 7 years. Hold her face in his hands. And kiss her on her cheek. It felt like heaven. To hold her so close. To inhale her sweet smell. It was her lips on his cheeks that did the trick. That made his knees go weak. He was unaware of what was happening around him. It was just him and his beloved Paro. Till Bhabhisa came asking whether he wanted something. He was startled. What could he want ? He had everything in front of him. The very Paro he had lost all those years back. Is Bhabhisa out of her mind ? He slowly opened his eyes. And Myrah's face in front of his eyes shocked him. He looked around. He was not with his Paro. He was not in their room. He was in Myrah's room. And Myrah was kind of dazed. And there was Bhabhisa in the door. What has he done ? Kissed Myrah ? And let her kiss him ? How can he ever allow that ? His vision cleared further and he noticed Bhabhisa's displeasure written all over her face. He saw her going away from the room. Totally upset with what she saw. He was about to run after her when Myrah collapsed. He laid her in the bed and ran behind Bhabhisa.

All this happened days back. He has tried to maintain his distance from Myrah. But when she dressed up like Paro, he had taken out all his anger on her. Told her in no uncertain terms that he can love only Paro all his life. Many incidents happened later. And he had to apologise to Myrah for misunderstanding her when he saw Paro's Jaipur saree in her hands. He tried many times to say sorry. But failed miserably. That is when he got hold of Myrah's video camera. He thought he will just record a sorry and leave it for her to listen to. It was easier this way.

He switched on the record button. And said sorry right away. Wrote a message on a piece of paper and was about to keep the video-cam on it when he decided to just play it back again to make sure it was recorded correctly. By mistake he pressed the rewind button for a longer time. He stopped and then pressed play. He was not used to a video-cam. That is when he saw Myrah talking to herself. About how upset she was that nobody informed her about Paro looking like her. There were two drops of tears in her eyes. He just kept gazing at her image. Took him back to Paro's thoughts when she was crying after his gift saree was replaced by Shantanu by widow's dress. And all the other times when she had seen Paro cry or just about to cry. Like iron filings to magnet he was drawn to these recordings of Myrah. He rewinded it further back and saw the place where she was talking about bells ringing whenever she came near him. He went further back in the tape. Where she talked about the pull she felt towards Dhruv. About how she felt about the night she kissed him. Then there was a recording where she was reminding herself to not lose her memory the way she did 7 years back.

• About her dreams where she sees a woman proposing to a guy in a gathering.
  
• About her dreams of something which a small girl is throwing out through a window of a car ? bus ? Not clear.
  
• About all these dreams which makes no sense to her.
  
• Faces which do not look familiar at all.
  
• A dream about somebody standing in the middle of a railway track... of all the places in the world.
  

Dhruv's coughing brought Rudra back to reality. He just forwarded the tape till it stopped. And left it on the paper and rushed to Dhruv's side. Myrah was already there giving him water and patting his back. He just stood there staring at her. He could not believe his eyes. That it was indeed his Paro standing in front of him. Who has lost her memory.

Later in the night , he tried to put together his recent memories. The way Myrah met Dhruv. The way Dhruv was so sure it is his mother and that she might have forgotten. The way destiny played a role making him Myrah's bodyguard. The way she stood on her toes under the effect of the pills and called him MajorSaab. It has to be his Paro. Her talking about her dreams confirmed it for him. But how can he make her remember the past ? All he wanted was to gather her in his arms and shower her with his kisses. To beg her to call him MajorSaab again and again. To ask her to hug him the way she used to do. With all her heart. But he had read in books how people who have amnesia should not be forced to remember things. How they should be given time and space to remember things on their own. How pushing them hard to remember can sometimes set them back rather than forward. So he decided to take it slow. Myrah has anyway agreed to stay till Dhruv got better. And he has to find a way to make her stay back.

Then Myrah asked him to tell her three differences she had with Paro. Apart from her dress and language he could not find any. He decided to just mention the qualities his Paro had. His Myrah has. Not three but more than that. With each statement his love and affection for her shone through his eyes. He just could not help walking towards her. And was mesmerized by the love getting reflected in her eyes. And that is when he decided to woo Myrah and marry her - irrespective of whether she remembered her past or not. He was not ready to wait. He just had to legally wed her.

While walking away from her for the night he was stealing glances once in a while and was happy to see her also looking back. But then she banged against the flower vaze and lost balance. Before he could reach her she tripped and was saved by this man. Six foot tall. And Myrah was staring at him and then talking to him. He had the sudden urge to kick Rohit out of the house. Here he was - thinking of ways to marry Myrah and then comes Rohit to spoil his plans. But first things first. He changed the sleeping arrangements to make Myrah not sleep next to Rohit. Small victory...

With Paro he was never jealous. Nor was Paro. They were always made for each other. And had eyes only for each other. But with Myrah he was not sure what was in her mind. Yes, she was about to confess her love to Rudra but could that happen so fast ? Did she really mean it ? Her comment of not able to sleep in the night bugged him. Could she have wanted to be with Rohit ? He had to ask her. Her answer surprised him. And also pleased him. He liked the line of discussion and wanted to continue this. Only if that stupid Rohit had not come in at that time.

But he was in for a shock at the breakfast table. Myrah announced her marriage in 10 days. She is definitely getting back at him. Has to be her way of taking revenge for not telling her about her resemblance with Paro. What is her supposed to do ? He did confront her and she asked him to tell her what to do. "Do what your heart tells you to do" was his reply. "Never marry without love. If what you want is not around, wait for it. You will get it one day. Love will come knocking on your door one day and you will marry the person you love"

"Will you marry me , Rudra ? Will you be able to forget Paro and love me ? Ever ? If you will even give it a try I am ready to marry you. And be with you and Dhruv till the end of my life" Myrah was straightforward. Rudra was confused. Here it is his Paro waiting for an answer from him. He can get married to her and make life easier for all the three of them. But what if Myrah never remembers the past ? And he calls her Paro (his Paro) one day in the future ? Will she misunderstand him and leave ? Will she always think of her own shadow as her enemy ? How can he bring up these topics with Myrah and get the points across ? He needed time. He asked her for time.

"That is one thing I cannot give you dammit. If you cannot make the call now , you will never be able to" saying this she walked away

(To be continued...)

He was in a real dilemma. Rudra always believed in open communication. To tell what was in his mind - with Paro. Never tried to hide his emotions or thoughts from her. And she was even better. She never allowed fear, shyness or shame or ego to come in between them. Proposed in front of a packed hall to him. Which was definitely a big deal for a village girl. Even when they were on opposite sides she never refrained from telling him off. And Myrah was no different. Myrah was as open in communication as Paro.

Which made it difficult for him. If he confessed seeing her videos and how he could connect her to being Paro - this will definitely put lot of pressure on her. Yesterday when she was in the kitchen trying to learn Indian dishes and when Rohit was out exercising - Rudra sneaked into Myrah's room and collected all the old tapes. He had taken it to the city and got copies made. After keeping the originals back in their place he had gone to his office in the pretext of work and went through a few of the tapes. He could not get more info than what he already had about the dreams. But he could find out about Myrah's recurring head aches and not that frequent fainting. He pulled out the file which his team had put together for Myrah and realized that there is not much info in there except for two contact numbers - her uncle's and her doctor's. Rudra put through a call to the doctor ( in the pretext of Myrah's shock after the kidnapping and its after effect ) and understood that she had to be given heavy sedation for a few months after she met with an accident during her trip to India a few years back. And that she also undergoes regular counseling sessions. The doctor was worried about the kidnapping and its effect on Myrah. And asked Rudra to keep him informed of any changes in her behavior. " Being her bodyguard I would request you to make sure she is not upset either physically or mentally. With great difficulty we all could pull her through to this state. Once by mistake her hands got burnt while cooking and she started screaming. A type of screaming which a normal person would not have done. From then on we are very careful about keeping her away from physical pain. Am quite upset how her uncle who let her go to India on her own. But Myrah can be difficult and persuasive. So I guess he had to relent. But please take care of her. And call me any time incase of a problem", the counsellor mentioned before saying bye.

Rudra was back home and still in his thoughts about the day Paro burnt her hands on the stove when he heard Dhruv crying at the top of his voice. Dhruv was upset that Myrah was getting married and leaving. Rudra and Maithili did not know how to handle it. But Myrah was confident that she can. She asked the others to leave her alone with Dhruv so that she can explain. And explain she did. How she just cannot become his mother. That his mother is still around. And she loves him. And Dhruv can still contact Myrah through video messages.

Yes, Rudra thought. Myrah cannot become Dhruv's mother. Because she is Dhruv's mother. And yes, Dhruv's mother is still around. In the form of Myrah. Problem is Rudra is stuck between the devil and the deep sea. He just cannot share this with anybody at home. Neither Dhruv nor Bhabhisa. Bhabhisa is a simple soul. She cannot keep any secret from the people she loves. Neither from Rudra nor from Paro. And now not from Myrah. Last time Bhabhisa had told him about Paro's decision to leave in spite of the promise she made to Paro. And happy he was that Bhabhisa broke the promise. He can still feel the emptiness he felt searching the entire train and the railway station for Paro with no luck. Paro and her promise to Bholenath. Wait a minute !! Is that what all this is about ? Paro breaking her promise to GOD or rather Rudra making her break the promise. Is that why he has to undergo such pain of separation and so much pain of this dilemma now ? Paro asked for Rudra's cure. And was ready to leave him after his hand got cured. But he made her stay back. And asked God for Paro - forever. Did God take her away after he got cured fully ? After he got over his mother's abandonment ? After he became a father ? And is the same GOD now being kind to RUdra and granting him his wish of Paro forever ?

Paro was his strength always. Mental strength. He always was ready to crumble under pressure and she was the one to pull him out. From the darkness in his life. She is present now also but there is no way he can share any of this with her. Oh GOD. What am I to do ?

OK my mind. Just calm down. First things first. How do I make sure the wedding with the Namoona does not happen ? Where is Myrah by the way ? I have to thank her for sorting out Dhruv's confusion. Rudra finally found her in the backyard. "Thanks Myrah. For making Dhruv understand. What I could not achieve, what Bhabhisa could not achieve in the past few days, you did it so well and so nicely. I will always be indebted to you. " Myrah turned to look at him. Her eyes brimming with tears. "Yes Rudra. You have to be indebted to me. The answer I wanted to give Dhruv was an entirely different one. I had to keep the truth from him for his own good. How could I tell him that his father can never love me even if I take seven more births ? How can I tell him that I do not feel like leaving him and his father ? How can I tell him that I can very well become his mother ? Infact I already consider him to be mine ?"

Teri tareefon ki nazar ne mujhe pukaara

Do kadam paas, aur mein pighal gayi mein pighal gayi

Shayad woh mein hunn

Do kadam peeche...shayad woh mein hunn nahi

jise dilo jaan se tune chaha (on the one you loved more than life)

Shayad woh mein hunn (Maybe its me)

Shayad woh mein hunn nahi (maybe it isn't me)

Meine kaha... nahi mein kisi aur ki...

Ilzaam hai tujhpar...chura legayi meri nindiya ko teri pyaar!

Rangrasiya...rangrasiya...

It was more than what Rudra could handle. He had to get out before he blurted out something. So he did what he always does. Faked anger at her decision of marriage in 10 days. And started walking away from the place. When she got hold of his hand and noticed the blood. Asked him to shut up. Cleaned his wound and tied it up with a kerchief. Deja vu. What he did to Paro's hand the day after their hate wedding.

(To be continued...)

RR through my eyes (Chapter 3)

The hate wedding. The lesser he thinks about it the better. There was never a day in his life when he did not regret it. He would have hurt Paro in a way in which nobody ever would have done. Came in drinking and took those stupid vachans. And one extra added especially for her. That Rudra will never be Paro's !! Nothing can be further from the truth. He has all his life loved only Paro. Probably from the moment he set his eyes on her. From the moment he looked back at her in the bus. Much later when he rolled with her in the sand. When he saw her face in the mirror. Sometimes it looks as if he has gone through as many incidents in his life which a normal person faces in ten lives. Supersonic speed his life has been.

Coming back to Paro and his love. Rudra's thoughts went like this... I should have kept my mouth shut. Just like the Samaaj Sevak ladies said. He blurts out many things which makes his life difficult later. He had given great lectures to his Bhabhisa about his love for Paro and only Paro. When Bhabhisa brought a girl and her mother home for an alliance. And then he vented out all his anguish to Myrah as well. About how a marriage cannot happen without love. How he can never feel love for Myrah. Even if she takes many births. How she will never be Paro even though she looks like one

Kaash Main Chup Rehta

Kaash Main Ne Woh Video cam Pehle hi Dekha hota

Kaash Myrah ne Dhruv Ko Samjhaaya Na Hota

Kaash...

"Aapke sab Kaash Bekaar, Major Saab" He was reminded of Paro's words. Yeah right - all Kaash has gone down the drain.

How in the world can he walk upto to Myrah now and declare that he wants to marry her ? He can envision the dialogue as below

Rudra: Tum usse shaadi nahi kar sakti ho

Myrah: What, are you serious? Lekin kyun?

Rudra: Woh tumhare liye sahi nahi hai?

Myrah: Seriously dude? What do you mean by that?

Rudra looks away..."Tum usse pyaar nahi karti.."

Myrah: Toh kya hua, dost hai mera... And yes why do you care? Tumhe kya farak padta hai, mein Rohit se shaadi karun ya nahi. Just Chill. Okay ?

Rudra: Myrah tum nahi jaa sakti ho...ruko

Myrah: Let me go Rudra, agar tumhare pass koi jawab nahi hai toh...mujhe shaadi ki tayariya karni hai...And yeah, if you find an answer you can leave a video recording - if you have no guts to say it to me personally.

Rudra: Jawab Hai Mere Paas. Aur Main Darta Nahin Huun. Mein tumhe kisi aur se shaadi karte nahi dekh sakta

Myrah: Lekin kyun Rudra

Myrah: Really ? But I have explained to him and he is fine. What exactly is your problem ?

Rudra: Main Tumhare Bina Jee Nahin Sakta

Myrah shocked: What? Seriously? Woh apne aap se zyada pyaar jo Paro ke liye hai uska kya? .tumhare jaisa aadmi sirf ek baar pyaar kar sakta hai...so just leave me alone...Mein tumhari Paro kabhi nahi bann sakti..Na Banna Chahti Hoon

No. This is not how he wants the conversation to go. How can he stop the wedding without confessing his love to Myrah. He cannot say I love you to her. She is too smart to believe it. And stupid Dhruv has agreed for her to leave !!

And here is Samrat and Bhabhisa trying to send him away for a few days. As if he wants to be anywhere else other than with Myrah now. And that too so that Rudra need not see Dhruv's pain. Dhruv's pain ? For the first time in his life he was more worried about his loss and pain and not his son's

And he told Bhabhisa that he can handle the situation and he will be here till Myrah gets married. And by saying he will be fine he made Maithili know that he will not be fine. Dammit.

(To be continued)...

Originally posted by: psagars

Perfect.
This is what I would like to see. We don't even need to know how Paro survived and got amnesia. I would want Rudra to marry Myrah. He knows it is his Paro. What if Myrah can't remember it. She loves him and Dhruv just as much as like Paro would have.

Waiting for the update

Originally posted by: SingaporeFan

Awww...loved it..hope the writers go this way... Makes so much sense

Originally posted by: ddFan2012

Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant...and so wonderfully put across.👏

This is written with so much Faith...it just cant go wrong!