I posted this one shot with a great deal of reluctance. Niyoti, Choti and curledup will bear me out on this--I did not want to post this one shot at all, I was going to delete it--they cyberbullied me into it. I didn't think it was all that good, but, also, I had several other reasons:
Firstly, this is a topic, and a character's experience which is far from the Parud centric romance of Rangrasiya. I thought I would not be able to connect with the readers, because this is about Nandini--who we literally have no face for. I felt it was presumptous of me to create a new character when we havent even met her yet onscreen.
Secondly--Its a very real topic, and who wants real life to come in and ruin a fan fiction, yeah? I thought I'd do a really erotic take on Disgust (as a few of you know) with lots of funny scenes of Paro being shocked and disgusted by sex, and then loving it when it happens with the right man. You know, cute fluff, just right for a coffee and a giggle on a Saturday. The problem was I just couldnt WRITE that fluffy piece on this topic. It felt horribly fake and artificial to me to attempt once the character of Nandini occured to me.
Finally--we have a lot of younger readers here, and I didnt want to, frankly, read immature takes on a gut wrenching, breathtakingly horrific topic. I didn't want to read-- "I dont get this, why is Rudra at a Kotha?" "Is this Laila? Is he here for sex?" and the clincher-- " Do a hot OS next time, Napster--Can you write on Parud meeting in college where hes an angry sexy math professor?" as my comments. I admit--I thought I'd get a lot of that from the kids.
I was a fool, because I was underestimating my audience. Each and every one of you GOT IT. Age no bar. Location or experience no bar. The fact this is a real story for many victims of human traffickers--You got it. That healing is NOT the same as rescue--you got it. The fact that this is debased, the people who ignore it are as disgusting as the people in power who don't stop it --you GOT it. You cried with me, and you felt the disgust for the RIGHT thing--not the girl-- the victim. But her circumstances, the people who put her there, the world where this can and does and is happening. That is Vibhatsya, and you got it.
I wrote this and ducked. I didnt read anyone's reactions until today--and OH MY GOD. I have never felt more proud of my readers, never felt more honored to be here with THIS community of women than I did when you shared your emotions, your hearts and the depth of your compassion for girls like Nandini.
I dont want to make this trite, and if I thank you for feeling what you should feel, what you must feel as the strong, empowered, aware and vulnerable women you are--that would be demeaning your reactions, or tears. So I wont thank you for realizing that we need to feel this pain for this woman, because if we dont, who will? Men like Rudra are fantasies on celluloid, and girls like Nandini are everyday realities in every community, every city and town.
But so are we--we each of us are all over the world, and look at us--we feel the same way--we feel disgust--over the same thing. So that, right there,,.is hope for Nandini, for girls like her. I do thank you for reading, for commenting and sharing. That baisas, I do thank you for. I am so fortunate to have you people in my life like this!
-Navin
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PS: because some have asked--this is a One Shot. I dont plan on anything further with Nandini --no more parts to this story for her -- not here, at least. Its one of a series of Emotions we writers doing the Narvarasa series are exploring. Mine was the opening volley, but no more than just that! Sorry!
Edited by napstermonster - 11 years ago
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