Dohraha: Tale of Crossroads:Update&Note Pg 22 6/9

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afiya.

@afiya.

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Posted: 13 years ago

#11

Woah, Jenny, loved it so far! I seriously love Shaan's character, the business guy in NY, plus the blizzard in JFK is so realistic, could totally imagine him, super hot! Can't wait to see what happens next :)

Edited by Afiya - 13 years ago

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IF_rida

@IF_rida

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+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#12

the character sketch is awesome

its goin to be very interesting

lukin fwd to the update

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jenny159

@jenny159

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Posted: 13 years ago

#13

Burberry, Maroon Sari, and White Lilies

"Yeah Dad…"

"Have you reached the airport son…?"

"Almost there…"

"The blizzard is not going to cooperate with you…"

"I know Dad…but don't worry I'll get her home safe…"

"Okay…see you and her soon…"

Yuvraaj Malik hangs up on his end and his son Armaan Malik finally manages to find a parking spot in the parking garage closest to the arriving terminal…it's still quite crazy outside as the wind continues to howl and gush with the flakes...everything is covered in white…he manages his way inside the building…his Burberry trench coat is more than just a fashion statement today…

His eyes search for her in the crowd…a lot of people where doing the same…the announcement and board both indicated that her flight had arrived before weather conditions got bad…he pulls out his phone…there is a missed call and a voice mail from an unknown number…he checks it…it's her…she is at the waiting lounge closest to the domestic flight departures…he walks over to it…

"That must be her…" he thinks spotting her from the back…her deep-maroon saree made it obvious…and when she turns balancing her suitcase on its wheels, he knows for certain it's her.

"Khanak…"

She looks up startled…the first thing he reads on her face is her lost expression…he doesn't blame her for it…even a local like him didn't know everything about this immensely crowded airport…

"Hi...Armaan...your husband…?" He extends his hand with a smile…this cordial husband-wife introduction has to be the first in the world…they don't hug….they don't exchange warm gestures…instead, they shake hands.

"App ko phone kar diya tha maine…message…"

"Yeah…that's how got here from the arrivals…"

"Oh…!"

"Let's go….Dad is eagerly waiting for you…"

"Uncle aye nahi…?"

"Nahi…he is held up because of the blizzard….how was your flight?"

"It was fine…long…"

"I bet..."

…………………………….

"Hello…"

"Hey hubby… reached Cincinnati yet…?"

"No…I am still in town…stuck at the Airport…"

"So the conference…?"

"I don't know…probably went on without me…"

"Come home then…"

"Tum ghar per ho…?"

"Nahi…just got through with my meeting for Rome exhibition…blizzard is calming down now aur traffic bhi steady hain…ajj finally ghar jaldi aajao gi…"

"Darya is still in school…?"

"Nahi…Aunty probably got her…"

"Okay…I'll call Maa and ask…"

"Main call kar leti hoon…"

"No, it's fine…"

"Shaantanu…"

"Yes Raina…"

"Dari is fine…maine baat ki thi ussay…app ki beyti ne khud call ki thi mujhe along with her Daadi…they are experimenting in the kitchen…"

"Hmm…how was the meeting…?"

"Now you ask…keep your schedule free for Wednesday evening…exhibition is finalized for 5:00 pm…and you are coming with..."

"That's good news…"

"It's great news…!"

"Theek hain phir main bhi ghar ke liye nikalta hoon…flights haven't resumed and I don't think they will be any time soon…"

"Okay... see you at home…bye…"

Raina hangs up at his end and he disconnects the call from his….he thinks about getting her flowers... White Lilies are her favorite kind…Shaantanu Sachdev smiles faintly at the thought and then he walks to the airline's counter and cancels his ticket.

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IF_rida

@IF_rida

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#14

lovely update

its the 2nd and my curiosity is on its peak

woah... wat a formal intro b/w armaan and khanak

i hope they cant get along well ... even like frndz

seems like that jeevika and shaan doesn't get along very well or may be he luvs her more than she luvs him

and may be dari is the reason for being together

but kuch zyada soch liya main ne

em eagerly waiting for the next update

update asap

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jenny159

@jenny159

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: IF_rida
lovely update

its the 2nd and my curiosity is on its peak

woah... wat a formal intro b/w armaan and khanak

i hope they cant get along well ... even like frndz

seems like that jeevika and shaan doesn't get along very well or may be he luvs her more than she luvs him

and may be dari is the reason for being together

but kuch zyada soch liya main ne

em eagerly waiting for the next update

update asap

Thank you Rida...you have been such a continuous support...i am really starting to feel that this FF is not liked by many here...people are hardly commenting...maybe the storyline is just sucky...idk...i have changed "Jeevika" to "Raina"...i don't want to cause any trouble with the fans of the other show and such...i am even willing to change the character pic if it is bothering people that much...idk what i lack...Thank you for your comment though...i am mustering up confidence and motivation for the next part...a little sad though...
-Jenny

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destinylove

@destinylove

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#16

Jenny I am sooo happy and excited to have my first and for ever like on TV ..KSG 😊

Character sketches/pics good but not popularly desirable in our forum .

But How did u ever forget Shantanu and khanak are meant for ever each

other and U have written something else..even if the first wife dies etc.,

shanak will only have secondary love ...that is not acceptable to anyone of us

probably ..That is why people are not commenting.

Shanak are meant to love as ;primary from start and not secondary

no one can accept such things in our forum even if it is fiction ...

Sorry yaar I also did not like that part of Shantanu married etc.,

we dont want second hand love for shantanu- khanak.

.and also no jodi changes...

I am giving Honest opinion since u asked the reason why people are not commenting Me personally gave the reason I felt

Sorry dont mean to hurt u 😊

Edited by sshriyaa84 - 13 years ago

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Ramani

@RB81

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#17

jenny frankly speaking u got it right..i wud be more than happy if u could change char of raina..but i dont know whether u feel offended by it r not..so i didnt comment actually..but as i saw ur comment for rida i felt bad for not appreciating ur writing..
i really love the way u write..ur writing is something different n i love it..
but for me it is hard to take ur char..so like i ignore all the time i did ignore..
i was talking to myself abt commenting on this..coz i really felt bad for not commenting..may be i'm behaving childish in this jenny..but tat was the reason i didnt comment..sorry..
hereafter i'll comment ignoring ur char n making someone else to play raina..as u said earlier the other name was hurting me..(u havent changed that yet in shantanu's char sketch..that was the reason i didnt press like too..)
*edited*
n as shriya mentioned he is married n has a daughter..with the 1st part i didnt expect him to be married to someone else n have a daughter with her..

but for sure i love the way u write..may be as soon as imagine someone else to play raina in my mind i might like the story too jenny..

Edited by RB81 - 13 years ago

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jenny159

@jenny159

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: sshriyaa84
Jenny I am sooo happy and excited to have my first and for ever like on TV ..KSG 😊

Character sketches/pics good but not popularly desirable in our forum .

I have changed it completely now...I AM SORRY...i thought of it as a character that fitted my imagery...i guess writer's creativity is overruled by mass audience...i apologize for offending anyone...but would like to add that i wasn't going to inflict negativity or evilness in the character anyways...just what humans are made of...a personality...that was my intention...it's fixed now, i hope that it is okay...

But How did u ever forget Shantanu and khanak are meant for ever each

I didn't forget that...i could never...

other and U have written something else..even if the first wife dies etc.,

shanak will only have secondary love ...that is not acceptable to anyone of us

Please let me assure that it will not be the case...i mentioned how Raina and Him have a significant difference between them...the story i have in mind will have ShaNak centered...they are world's apart but one thing that brings them together is and will be LOVE...and love isn't restricted in numerals...1st..2nd...i would like to write to show how exclusive and independent that emotion is, regardless of the circumstances...

probably ..That is why people are not commenting.

Shanak are meant to love as ;primary from start and not secondary

no one can accept such things in our forum even if it is fiction ...

Sorry yaar I also did not like that part of Shantanu married etc.,

we dont want second hand love for shantanu- khanak.

.and also no jodi changes...

There will be no jodi changes...i know the entire concept is a risky idea...and a part of me also knew it won't be a success...i just got inspired to tell a story that is a little mature and out of the bounds..a little outside the lines of traditionalism...ShaNak are my leads and i can't emphaszie that enough, I LOVE THEM A LOT...A LOT...i consider it my bad luck as i discovered them after RBO went off air...they are the leads here and once again them falling in love wasn't going to be a "Second" love in any way...my explanation above might be little clearer...i just don't know anymore...

I am giving Honest opinion since u asked the reason why people are not commenting Me personally gave the reason I felt

Sorry dont mean to hurt u 😊

You did not...I really truly, absolutely APPRECIATE the honesty...Thank You for that.

Edited by jenny159 - 13 years ago

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jenny159

@jenny159

Explorer

Posted: 13 years ago

#19

Originally posted by: RB81
jenny frankly speaking u got it right..i wud be more than happy if u could change char of raina..but i dont know whether u feel offended by it r not..so i didnt comment actually..but as i saw ur comment for rida i felt bad for not appreciating ur writing..
i really love the way u write..ur writing is something different n i love it..
but for me it is hard to take ur char..so like i ignore all the time i did ignore..
i was talking to myself abt commenting on this..coz i really felt bad for not commenting..may be i'm behaving childish in this jenny..but tat was the reason i didnt comment..sorry..
hereafter i'll comment ignoring ur char n making someone else to play raina..as u said earlier the other name was hurting me..(u havent changed that yet in shantanu's char sketch..that was the reason i didnt press like too..)
*edited*
n as shriya mentioned he is married n has a daughter..with the 1st part i didnt expect him to be married to someone else n have a daughter with her..

but for sure i love the way u write..may be as soon as imagine someone else to play raina in my mind i might like the story too jenny..

I made the changes now and also tried to clear out the same concerns you and Shriya had...you can check out the clarifications in the post above...i apologize for the hurting part...i never meant to...i had no intention of targeting any fanbase...
-Jenny

Edited by jenny159 - 13 years ago

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IF_rida

@IF_rida

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#20

even i think that was the reason y ppl were not commenting

but all seems well now

its juz that there is no shaan and khanak for us its always shanak ... and they've to be together

may be the idea is risky but i guess as u've clear the doubts so ppl will start commenting

u r a brilliant writer

juz hope for the best and do ur best

hugs🤗

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Dohraha: Tale of Crossroads:Update&Note Pg 22 6/9 - Page 2

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