Dohraha: Tale of Crossroads:Update&Note Pg 22 6/9 - Page 4

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destinylove thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#31
jnny thanx for taking in a sporting manner all the comments including mine
sjenny I go with rr81
Expressing myself more clearly
1... I first had the problem of shantanu being married and having a daughter ..Whatever it is I dont like this part at all..I dont want this sort of things in shanaks love story at any cost ...
reg teh story ..it reminds me of * Kabhi Alvida na kehna*
and one more thing..the name of that particular girl whose fan groups have
no respect whatsoever for us other group of fans and treat us so badly dragging us into fights by
commenting about our girl ...irked me a lot too
I felt when ther are umpteen names and girls around... why has she taken this person whose
fan group treat us so badly all the time and drag our girls name without any conscience and reason ..
why should we give importnance to this person when they least respect us ...why cant it be some one else? this was my question too
So these are my problems too ..I hve expressed clearly ..Please dont take it in the wrong way at all
shonai thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#32
Hiii...m Priyashree
have seen this ff...but truly speaking couldn't feel like commenting... as i didn't like the name of Shaan's wife character & the pic...i know m acting very childish, but cant help it😳...
thanks for changing it😊
but, i dont have any problem with the story the concept ,u have in ur mind regarding Shanak...& after reading last 2 updates , i have started liking it...😊

m eager to read it further...so, continue with it...
n i like ur narrating style👍🏼.. u r really a good writer 👏

m really sorry if i have hurt u...😭
Edited by shonai - 13 years ago
afiya. thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#33
Hey Jenny,
I could see how some people didn't really like the choice of characters, but I see how you got your inspiration from Saba's VMs so I'm really looking forward to your story, and so far I'm really liking it. I know how you feel, about maybe not wanting to continue your FF, but please do continue it, cause your a phenomenal writer. I already love Shaan's character, cause he's a big business guy, yet he's a lovable father. Can't wait to see how he meets Khanak. 😊
Edited by Afiya - 13 years ago
jenny159 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#34

Originally posted by: shonai

Hiii...m Priyashree

have seen this ff...but truly speaking couldn't feel like commenting... as i didn't like the name of Shaan's wife character & the pic...i know m acting very childish, but cant help it😳...
thanks for changing it😊

It's good to know what held you back from commenting and now that it is all changed, i certainly hope and pray you will be more active and upfront with your feedback in coming updates...

but, i dont have any problem with the story the concept ,u have in ur mind regarding Shanak...& after reading last 2 updates , i have started liking it...😊

THANK YOU...i hope it grown on readers like the concept is growing in my mind currently...


m eager to read it further...so, continue with it...
n i like ur narrating style👍🏼.. u r really a good writer 👏

In the process of the next one...school and such got in the way...THANK YOu!

m really sorry if i have hurt u...😭

You never did sweetie...! just be around is all i ask for...the story is for your entertainment so nothing is ever taken offensively from the people who help keep it going...


jenny159 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#35

Originally posted by: Afiya

Hey Jenny,
I could see how some people didn't really like the choice of characters, but I see how you got your inspiration from Saba's VMs so I'm really looking forward to your story, and so far I'm really liking it. I know how you feel, about maybe not wanting to continue your FF, but please do continue it, cause your a phenomenal writer. I already love Shaan's character, cause he's a big business guy, yet he's a lovable father. Can't wait to see how he meets Khanak. 😊



Have PMed you...do check...
I love Shaantanu's character too even though he is so messed up...but he is not a business guy...he is a clinical psychologist and runs his own practice...Armaan is however a business guy...
-jenny

jenny159 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#36

Writer's Acknowledgements

My INSPIRATION for this Tale..

First and foremost... KT/YM's amazing chemistry is RBO...they gave us ShaNak and i don't think anyone else can ever be what they were...I discovered and fell in love with RBO after it ended...i can't imagine what it was like for those who knew about this magical spell when it was actually on-air...

Secondly, I-F Girlies...You...YES YOU who is reading this...the fact that you are here to keep RBO alive along with this forum...that inspires me... A LOT...Thanks to all the FF writer, Uploaders, Siggy-Avi makers, and VM makers!!


Okay now the visual that made me REALLY want to write...it came from Saba...She makes amazing VM on ShaNak... and i am sure you all know about her...if you don't then you are missing out...so go watch her amazing Vids.


[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9kMLzJnsiE[/YOUTUBE]


[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_0e3jrS0Es[/YOUTUBE]


DISCLAIMER: Credit goes to SABA and please don't think you'll be reading KANK here...it is just an inspiration...you can already pick out the differences in this story...


Afiya's Graphics...(THESE ROCK!!!)












...And Believe it or not there is MORE TO COME!!!!
EEkkks i am excited as well...!😊


jenny159 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#37

Dinner, Wishes, and Uncertainties…

"Dari honey you have to finish your vegetables…be a good girl..." Raina instructs her daughter at the dining table as she places her proportioned plate down in front of her…Shaantanu and Madhavi have just walked in the dinning area…

"Aunty Thank you so much…app Dari ko pre-school se lay aii…I couldn't make it because of the blizzard…" Raina takes her seat at the far end of the table while thanking Madhavi who is at the opposite end….Shaantanu is by his daughter…he is feeding her with his fork.

"Koi baat nahi beta…bus mujhe laga iss barf mein mushkil hoga tumhara aur Shaantanu ka Darya ko lena issi liye maine jaldi pick kar liya…"

"Hmm…Dari we have to catch up on what you missed in school today…" Raina looks over at her daughter who is too busy indulging in a fork-fight with her daddy...Raina seems a bit bothered but she overlooks it for the sake of her daughter's laughter and smile.

"Shaantanu theek se kahao na…naashta bhi nahi kar kay gaye thay…" Madhavi moves the dishes in front of him and instructs her son to eat well…his eating habits were not his best...

"Aunty Shaantanu diet conscious rehtay hain…voh lay le gay…app bother nahi huye…" Raina interrupts Madhavi's motherly intentions in a polite manner…Shaantanu and Madhavi exchange a faint smile…and then he moves to help himself to some rice off the platter.

"Maama can I have some juice…"

"Dari dinner kay saath juice nahi…baby finish your food… and have some water…"

"Daaddyyy…" Dari turns to Shaantanu with a pouty face and tugs his arm that was resting of the table….Shaantanu looks at Raina momentarily and then his attention is back to his daughter…

"Darya ko juice chahiyay…?" Shaantanu questions with a smile.

"Darya ko Berry Fusion vaala juice chahiyay right now…." Darya answers her father in third person…Raina looks on...she didn't like how her husband always fulfilled their daughter's wants…obviously as a couple they differed in their parenting styles…

Shaantanu scoops Darya up in his arms and in no time they are off to the kitchen to get juice…

"Raina…"

"Jee Aunty…"

"Main Shaantanu se baat karogi…ussay Darya ke saamnay aise tumhari baat ko…"

"It's okay Aunty…main jaanti hoon Shaantanu apni beyti se bahut pyaar kartay hain…"

"Haan per…"

"It's really okay Aunty…app please dinner keejiyay…" Raina gets up and passes the curry bowl towards Madhavi with a smile…she goes on to share a delicious dinner with her affectionate mother-in-law while her husband and daughter have their own fun in the kitchen…

…………………

"…And here is our bedroom…I hope it's comfortable for you…" Armaan's casual declaration after leading her in to a very huge and lavishly furnished bedroom is quite an understatement…she notices how the life-size windows look out to the city's skyline…it's a spectacular night view and she is sure that the day is no different.

"Thank you…"

"For…"

"Table per…app ne baat ko divert kiya…Thanks…"

"Oh come on...we don't need to be so formal…"

She seats herself down on the curvy off white divan…he is settling her bags in one corner of the room…she hasn't changed out of her sari, nor has he said anything about it…Yuvraaj Malik had left the pent house after dinner…

"Khanak…"

"Jee…"

He walks over to the divan where she is seated…her reflexes are cautious suddenly…

"Aunty ka…I…"

"App ko kuch kehnay ki zaroorat nahi hain…app pehlay he…"

"No..I..I mean..I want to…main kehna chahta hoon…"

She looks up at him…their third eye contact since they met…this one has her nervous…

"I know Dad ne bahut jaldi…I mean…we can take it slow…"

"Jee…?"

"Mera matlab… tum apna time le sakti hoon…to figure things out…hmm...?" He looks at her…she is looking down…not sure…uncertain of everything…

"Main change kar leti hoon…"

"Okay…" He nods and watches her move away…She never turns or stops until she reaches her suits case…he steps out the room when his phone goes off.

…………….

"You got these for me…??" Raina questions as she settles the white lilies in a vase for their room…he is immersed in one of his patient's files.

"Hmm…"

"I love white lilies…" Raina feels the soft petals with her fingers, but he isn't responding...she turns and finds him working..."Shaan thodi dair kay liye can you please put away the files and your work…"

"I am seeing this patient tomorrow morning…gotta prepare myself…"

"Do you remember when I used to prepare myself to see you…it hasn't been that long…"

"Raina…"

"Hmm…"

"Darya ko chooti chooti baatoon per manah nahi kiya karo….she is just a child…"

"Our first date…it was magical…I prepared everything…tipped off the guy at the restaurant…I knew you were meeting a client of yours there…" She is recalling it all in a trance…he is listening...but only passively…

"Raina I am telling you something…"

"I know…sirf Dari ki baat kartay ho tum…nothing else…" She moves away from the white lilies and expresses her complaint with the change in mood and tone.

He sighs heavily…makes a quick note on the sticky and then closes the file…she is at the dresser so he goes up to her…Holds her shoulders…

"Darya is a priority…meray liye…she is my world…"

"I am your wife…"

"Jaanta hoon…just don't stop her from being a child…bahut chooti hain abhi voh…"

"Okay Mr.Perfect Daddy…" Raina nods and then moves away from his grip…he pulls her back and hugs her to him…they exchange a small smile.

"I have to get to work early…good night…"

"Night…" Raina looks on as he walks back to the bed and turns his side of the lamp off.

...

Edited by jenny159 - 13 years ago
RB81 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#38
hei jenny,
nice part..
loved darya-shaan bonding..
i really wonder wat is wrong r wat went wrong with shaan-raina??
fine..let me wait n watch..
so armaan-khanak marriage happened coz of her mother's sickness??
ok so they r going to take it slow..
lets see where this heads..
waiting for the next part..
destinylove thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#39
Jenny
thanx for changing the person..portraying raina..😊
I am fine with new concepts being tried deviating from traditon story lines
In fact I welcome it most of the times if dealt properly .
.infact we all know RBO was also one such **unique love story **., sans any negaitivity and not at all saas bahu typical story ..
That is why it has managed to carve an unforgettable name
My personal view is had it been one of those ***many typical love stories woven with saas bahu etc ***
it would be forgotten with passing time definitley ..But now RBO is already immortal ..thanx to uniqueness ..
again my personal feel ..It would have been great if the trailer also did not have that person ..(triler
by saba veeni)..
but i can understand.. it is done already...and it is quite good .. saba has done a good job ..so no
complaints at all..
I dont have problems now reg story ..since in the story that person is changed ..
ur primary inspiration is sabas vm
tha t is good. to know . ...and reg ur acknowledgements... it really felt nice nice to read :)
Armaans character sounds interesting as described by u..hope u give equal space to
Armaan..too
ha ha ha...I know that it is too early that i am asking for equal FF space for armaan .
but shaan and armaan both characters are equally lovable( personally to me .)..
last update is really good., showing the bond between raina shaan and dariya ..
but we as readers could sense some void even though it is unsaid...
good job .. keep it up 😊
Edited by sshriyaa84 - 13 years ago
janavi07 thumbnail
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Posted: 13 years ago
#40
hey jeeny nice update yaar...
story is now moving slowly ...lets see what be the next...?
darya and shaan so nice yaar...
waiting for the next...

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