*::.~FF Dostana~.::* OLD CHAP PUT UP AGAIN - Page 63

*.::CHAPTER 22::.*

'SUMAN!'

'Khanak!'

Suman (Khanak's stepmother) opened the door and hugged her step daughter, 'Oh! We missed you so much!' she said excitedly as she finally let go of Khanak, who was beaming with joy, at finally meeting her family.

'I missed you guys too! Where is Dad, and chutku!'

'your dad went out to get your favorite ice-cream and Varun is out for tuitions.'

'Oh my! I am tired!'

'Ah! Yes you hate plane rides…'

'to the core, though business class makes it a tad bit tolerable.'

Suman smiled as Khanak sat on the sofa, 'want some coffee?'

'Yes please, and till then, I think I will take a shower, it'll freshen me up, in no time… and we have so much to talk!'

'Ah! Yes Aditya Singhania, must say Khanak, excellent catch.'

Khanak smiled as she recalled the last six months, 'absolutely!' she agreed with Suman as she walked towards her room.

Khanak had been twelve when her father had married Suman, a friend of her mother. She had been old enough to understand what had happened, and even though she was apprehensive about it (she feared her mom will be forgotten with another woman in the house), but she had showed nothing but happiness towards her father's second go at holy matrimony. After all she hadn't seen him this happy for very long.

Khanak had always called her stepmom by her name. As aunty seemed to distant, for a step mother, and she had never wanted to call anyone her mom, that word was only for her mother. And Suman had been respectful of her mother's memory; she had even gotten a framed picture of her mother and put it in Khanak's room, so that Khanak feels like her mom is around. They had become friends of sort over time, but still Khanak had never felt like calling her mom, she didn't think of her like that, she didn't want to give anyone that place, and Suman understood that, thus she never forced, or even asked Khanak to call her mom, she had been happy, by being called by her name.

Khanak stood in front of her mother's framed picture, as she dried her hair with a towel; she missed her mom a lot these days for some reason. Probably because she felt that she had finally fallen in love...

'Khanak!'

She turned around and ran out her room as she heard her dad call out to her. She ran into his arms just as she used to, when she was a child, 'dad! I missed you so much! And I have so much to tell you!'

Her father held his arms tight around her, 'Oh I missed you too shona!' he kissed her forehead, and I am dying to hear about your adventures, and I have your favorite ice-cream too, Suman is just serving it, you know how she hates it when we eat right out the carton.'

Khanak smiled, 'of course!'

Khanak and her father chatted for hours, she told him, about Shantanu, and how they were such great friends, and how she thought she was falling in love with Aditya.

When Varun had come back from tuitions, Khanak had playfully ruffled her brother's hair to annoy him. It had been a great day and only a few hours were left of it, two to be precise. Khanak was in her room, going through some old stories she had written when her dad had knocked on her door.

'Hey dad!'

'I hope I am not disturbing you...'

'Of course not! I was just going through some old stories I had written,' she smiled, 'anyway, kya hua?'

Her father entered the room and sat down beside her, he was holding a small box.

'you got me a present?'

'You can call it that...'

'kya hua, you seem tense, koi problem hai?'

'I... Don't know how to say this...'he whispered to himself.

Khanak held his hand, 'kya?! Dad you are freaking me out!'

'Khanak, it is about your mother...'

Khanak stared at him shocked, they had never really discussed her mother, her father and never like doing that. Every time her topic arose, he father would change the topic, she was amazed he was bringing her up, after so many years, no wonder he looked pale.

'What about her?'

'Khanak- don't- don't hate me...'

'Dad I can never...'

'When she died, after that, I- found her diary. She had written few things in it for me... And, she had asked me to.' he took a deep breath, 'she asked me to give you something, something I should have given you years ago...'

Khanak looked at him too dumbfounded by what she was hearing to respond, so her father continued.

'She gave me a letter for you, she asked me to give it to you, right away. She said you might not understand right now, but you will need it.'

'Why wasn't I... Given this letter before?'

'Khanak it's in this box-'

'Why!!?' she asked more firmly, her voice slightly increased.

He looked at her with saddened eyes, ' I... Was trying to protect you... I thought you were better off without it...'

Khanak got up from her bed and paced around her room.

'Khanak- I thought, truly thought that you were better off-' '

what!? You- dad how was I better off without it?! And why now? After what eighteen years!'

He sat there quiet not matching his gaze with Khanak.

She stood there waiting for an answer when it struck her, 'you… you weren't ever going to give this letter to me were you?' she whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek.

'No. Suman saw it; she forced me to give it to you...'

Khanak took in gasps of air, she felt suffocated, like someone was choking her, 'you... You just made the decision for me! Decided on your own that I was better off without having to hear what my mother had to say to me before she killed herself!'

'Khanak it's not like that...'

'It's exactly like that!' she looked at him, 'you had no right deciding this for me dad... No right!'

'Khanak...'

'I don't...cant, I just can't right now...'

She took the box from her father; and then collected her suitcase and her handbag in a hurry, before marching out from the room...

'Khanak! Khanak!' Suman came after her, 'He was just trying to protect you.' she said, as Khanak pressed the button for the lift.

'Protect me?! From what ! from knowing what my mother had to say to me!'

'He had only good intentions…'

'I know that, but that doesn't justify his not giving this letter to me! We were a team, we were supposed to tell each other everything! And he hid such huge thing from me Suman. I have the right to be upset at him, to be angry! So I don't want to understand, what he had in mind, what were his intentions.' The elevator doors opened, Khanak looked at Suman one last time, 'I can't be the understanding one this time…'

Khanak felt tear drops rolling down her cheeks, as she sat in taxi and went to the airport. Throughout the journey she didn't know what to do, she was scared and angry, she wanted to talk to someone, but Tashu had her own problems, and she was in America, on tour for promoting her new book, and Shantanu…

'Shantanu...' she whispered his name again, she then retrieved her phone from her bag, and sent him a message.

::::::::::::::::::::::::

Shantanu woke up with a start; he looked around taking in his surroundings, as he remembered where he was. He was covered in sweat, as he had the same nightmare again, that had been haunting him for a long time. It was always the same, a walkthrough of the night he had seen Khanak kiss Aditya. Every time, he had wanted to stop Khanak from going and every time she would go, and every time he was forced to watch her and Aditya, with a sinking heart, and almost always he woke up. His shirt soaked in sweat and he himself feeling dazed and disoriented.

It had been six months since that incidence, six months since Khanak had started dating Aditya and five months twenty three days since Shantanu had come to London (he could only bear a week worth of the cuddling nonsense between Aditya and Khanak). And five months since, he himself had started dating Kiara. Who was beside him, awake and worried.

'The same dream?'

'Ya...' he answered as he got out of the bed and drank the entire contents of the glass of water that was kept on the bedside table.

Kiara hesitated as she asked, 'what do you see? That scares you so much?'

Shantanu sat there, rigid as stone as he thought about it, but as always he lied, 'nothing, I just, it's really nothing...' he got up to wash his face.

'Nothing!?' Kiara followed him, 'Shantanu you don't tell me anything! This is the third time you woke up like this, it's definitely something!'

'I don't want to talk about it.'

'Why not!? Why don't you talk to me?'

Shantanu looked at her, with a mix of irritation and anger, 'because I don't want to. It is insignificant, and you can't expect me to tell you everything!'

With that he stormed out and went to the study, he poured himself some scotch, as he thought about the previous months-

After spending the night with Tashu and Rohan, he had made way to his house, to be greeted by Khanak, who was dying to tell him about Aditya. And so he had endured a full run through of their first date, after the ball. He felt gloomy for about two days, then Tashu had come to meet him, she wanted to console him, tell him it's okay to be in love, when Shaan had stopped her.

'Love?! Who said anything about love?'

'you.'

'Tashu, I am intensely attracted to Khanak, it's not love!'

'You feel jealous about Aditya, and are miserable seeing her with someone else...'

'Ah...' he stopped her, 'jealousy is not a clear indicator of love, it is a indicator of lust... love is something bigger, it is...' he thought about it for a minute, 'a will to be in pain, if it means your love can be happy. Love is a higher emotion, much bigger than lust, jealousy etc, I loved Aisha, and so was willing to see her with Purab, just to have her around; I didn't expel her from my life. Love is the will to live for someone else, the power to make yourself vulnerable and ...' he stopped as he noticed the irritated expression on Tashu's face, 'basically, what I feel for Khanak is an intense form of attraction, lust even, not-love.'

'Whatever gets you through the day Shantanu.'

He laughed as he remembered Tashu's comment before she left; 'whatever gets you through the day...' he repeated it.

After a mere seven days, he had lost his patience with Aditya being around all the time, and he had taken the responsibility of the London project. He felt that all he had wanted was get away, to find a way to stop thinking about Khanak and Aditya. And so on the day of his return to London he had found himself on Kiara's doorstep; and a week later, hand in hand with her, getting out of a play.; and now five months later, living with her.

Kiara, and he were perfect together, they both were very much alike-workaholics, good looking, into books and plays, they both loved scotch (though she liked grain and not single malt), and they could talk for hours about acquisition and tender and projects... it was easy, but he felt something like something was missing.

He missed Khanak and his talks, how she used to challenge him, how they would work together, with coffee and their laptops, while they chatted about everything, (cartoons, shows, colours, phones, drinks...). He missed their cooking meals together and Coco cuddling to his feet.

He had Khanak still talked though, they talked ever day, for an hour at least, and their conversations were the highlights of his day. He was still not comfortable with her talking about Aditya, but he managed ("she is a friend, she needs me, I can do this" mantra always helped). He hadn't told her about Kiara though...

'We should go to India.' Kiara came in the study and made the announcement.

'what? Why?'

'Well, I want to, you in these past five months have been getting to know me, you have met my parents and friends, and now I want to do that... meet your parents, your friends, see for myself how Shantanu Khandelwal is in his zone. Plus isn't your brother getting married?'

He looked at her, her eyes were red, like she had cried, 'Kiara, why are your eyes red? Did you cry? I am so sorry if I...'

'Oh! No, I didn't get much sleep that's why. So you ready, to go to India?'

Shantanu thought about it, he didn't like the idea, 'No, I don't want to...' he went and hugged her, 'we have a lot of work here anyway...'

'work.' She nodded, 'right.' She stormed off looking disappointed.

'Kiara...'

He was about to go after her when his phone rang, he went and checked it, it was a message from Khanak:

To: Shaan Khandelwal <Khandelwal.rockstar@kgrps.com>

Fr: Khanak Kapoor <Khanak_k@trends.com>

Re: no subject

Khandelwal, I need you, please come back.

K.

Shantanu started at the message, he looked up, tense, Kapoor never asks for help... he thought to himself.

He went to Kiara's bedroom, she was sitting on the bed, 'Kiara, we need to get on the next flight to India!'