OS: Oops! On the Beach? [16+] Note - Pg 19 - Page 10

Originally posted by: PhoenixRadar

NOTE:

I won't be sending out PMs, 'cause I already have people from other forums on my list and it'll get confusing whom to PM!

Just keep an eye out for my update.

Annie

Originally posted by: PhoenixRadar

OS means One Shot, written with one (mainly) or two parts.

And one thing to be cleared here is that Nana isn't Zoya's maternal/paternal grandfather, but a woman, who had taken to taking care of abused children. Now, for the whole background check to be done on the girl, this will have to turn into an FF.

Zoya, for me in this particular story, is strong and has gone through her share of suffering and sleepless nights, if you want to know. It's not really necessary to have abused kids, or kids, who have witnessed such things to be scarred in such a way that they fear almost everything, including their hormones, their whole life. That element has been there in every single fiction that has a serious storyline, or even humour.

Truthfully, I am not sure what you're trying to tell me here. So Nana is now a woman? Nana is urdu is maternal grandfather. So how would anyone of have deciphered that from the story? Delving into such a serious issue is not something you might want to do in a one shot. If you want her to be abuse victim - why? And why give us more details into the night her father tried to abuse her then the actual storyline and then tell us that it is not something that has an impact on her or does it?

And I am not handling the abuse part casually. If you want to know why is it handled in this manner, then, I will have to convert it into an FF, which I am not ready to do so, with my college being my first priority now. There are times in life, when people who have gone through such trauma(s), realise it's high time to put it back where it was. In the Past. Be it with the help of someone or something, or just self-realisation.

Including such a serious in a One Shot in the future might not be a good idea. If you are going to include it, then I would have avoided going into the sordid details of what happened between her father and her and write about he emotional experience and how it relates to her life in the present and if it does not, then why even bring up such a sensitive matter?

It is not always a necessity to have the protagonist be the one to help the other lead come out of that trauma and start feeling for each other. As in fall in love.

I am not an expert in the field of trauma, but I do know a few things about it. And am not making any assumptions, either. (:

No my dear, it was very apparent you are not an expert in the field of trauma as are many writers on India television, film and this forum. I forced one of the late top moderators - Raksha (she passed away two years ago) to remove a 'love story' she wrote where the lead male character rapes the female one. At that time several very smart women were part of the forum and were equally outraged and she was forced to remove the story. In the process she used her power as moderator and tried to warn me not to be critical of her story.

As for your claim that loves help you overcome a trauma, I never saw this in this one shot.

See, am still learning to write, and by putting my work up, only then can I know how to improve myself. And writing professionally is not what I have achieved yet, though I do want to and will, in due course of time.

Well, criticism does shoot you down at times, but it's what helps us rise, build up and go forward.

P.S.: Asad's reaction is what men go through in reality, with a pinch of fiction out here in my story. I am trying my hand in something new, and I like it.

P.P.S.: Thank you for your reply.

I think you are very brave in doing this and i said you had good writing skills and this i mean. If you try this again, and i hope you do, you will able to produce a good quality piece of work. however, this time try a more lighthearted approach and keep the eroticism and sensuality.

There are key elements for a romance - go online and check them out - they are very cliche but this formula works over and over again.

Keep trying. I don't want you to stop by any means. 🤗

#2

Her sweet pout went on to become a soft smile playing on her lips. But it suddenly stopped, as if it were some movie paused at some disturbance.

Her eyes widened slightly, as they landed on a pair of midnight blue orbs, watching her silently. A gasp made a way out of her throat, as she saw him standing there in nothing but a pair biege boardshorts, that hung low on his hips, mocking her. Daring her to get a sneak peek of what lay below.

Swallowing hard, as she felt her stomach tightening unevenly at the wicked thought, she looked back up to where his eyes were. But she took her own sweet time too. Her eyes travelled up slowly, assessing every single muscle etched as abs on that toned stomach, and as biceps and triceps on those sexy arms. Her breath caught when she saw the hollow of his throat inviting her to trail her lips and drop a kiss there.

Asad had to literally ball his fists and push them down into his boardshots' pockets to stop himself from grabbing the girl and kissing her senseless and do her there.

Just as he had stepped out of the kitchen's door to the porch behind and out on the sand, he had literally stopped breathing on seeing a practically *ahem*... now how can we explain it? 'In her birthday suit'?

Okay, well, she wore nothing but a white see through, that gave glimpses of her perfect.. uh... curves and contours.

Shit! Is she for REAL?, his mind was literally in a whirlpool of wicked thoughts. His gaze drifted from her eyes and rested on the sweet hollow of her throat that looked inviting and sexy. Letting his eyes wander, they widened slightly at the image of her perfect curves, from her bosom to her round hips.

His heart stopped beating the instant they landed on the dress riding up, giving him a glimpse of something that made all blood rush down south. A low groan escaped his throat, as he tried to calm himself down.

How the hell can I, when she's... Oh, SHIT!!

His eyes assessed her long toned legs, wanting to be the car riding the curvaceous highway of the golden goddess named Zoya.

He swallowed as he went up to look directly into her now oddly glistening eyes. Her cheeks had turned so dark, that even the shade of Red, that he loved, would get jealous.

Zoya's cheeks blazed with untold heat, as she realized he was checking her out too. But when her senses kicked back, her eyes widened as saucers, while her hands went around to cover her modesty.

Squirming under his scrutinizing and heated gaze, she looked anywhere but him, contemplating on what to do next.

She dared to take a glimpse of him and looked up, but stumbled backwards, when a flash of midnight blue scared the crap out of her.

An arm wound around her wet waist, pulling her back up and steadying her against a wall of muscles.

Asad pulled her closer as her frightened eyes blinked in realisation. But the panic was still there, and it made her more appealing.

Her skin glistened underneath the gaze of the silvery moon, while a hand of his automatically made its way up, to brush away her wet fringe sticking above her eyebrow. And just as he felt his forearm brush her bosom, he heard her breathe in sharply.

Zoya could hear the blood drumming in her ears, and her heart beat like crazy and was cent per cent sure that even he could hear it.

Her eyes flicked down to see his luscious lips, as usual in their sensual pout, so close to her. They were just inches away from her lips, as his warm breath fanned her heated cheeks.

He saw her staring at his lips, and felt a smirk tugging at the ends of his mouth. Taking advantage of it, he looked down at her lips and sucked in a breath as he saw a droplet of water sexily tracing her upper lip and then disappearing into the interiors of her mouth, planting a seed of the green monster within him.

Groaning loudly, he crashed his lips to hers, totally surprising her and reveling in the surprised yelp she gave out.

Zoya stared at his closed eyelids in shock, as he kissed her.

Kissed her.. Kissed her? Kissed her?! What the ****?!

Her already wide eyes, widened more if it were possible, as her fists came up to push him away from her. But it seemed like he wasn't going to let go of her.. Now... or Never.

Shutting her eyes tight, she tried prying her lips away and leaned back, but he only followed her actions and tightened his arms around her, enveloping in his warmth and held her head in place.

A gasp escaped her mouth, when she felt his hot tongue tracing her lower lip, prying her to let him in.

Asad chuckled into her lips, and grabbed the opportunity of her second shock by sliding in his tongue into the interiors of her mouth, massaging her tongue.

A moan rumbled from her chest, as she opened her mouth giving access to him and letting him taste her. Her fist became a witness to the increased thudding of his heart in his chest.

It was Asad's turn to be shocked, when he felt two things happening to him.

One. Her tongue started to fight for dominance and started tasting him.

Two. Her fingers were causing havoc to his senses as they dug into the black forest of his hair, twirling, twisting and pulling.

She felt him deepen the kiss, as she angled her head to taste every inch of his mouth, while she was conscious of his hands being dangerously close to her butt.

Originally posted by: Rach.

Loved reading it Annie! Although I was a little lost in the beginning but as the story progressed, things became more clear.
Ive always been a fan of stories set at beaches. Gives me a weird happy feeling reading them :D
Please update as soon as possible because I cant wait to read the next part :D

Originally posted by: Samaira32

Res