Samarpan (An FF) Part 11 (Thread 1/Page 139) - Page 6

OMG!!!! Di you came up with another beautiful story😃...

Indu! 🤗 You're back with a new story (potential story).

So this is a future, older Yash and Aarti with their kids. Very cool. Looking at their love story through their children's "eyes", so to speak, is a beautiful concept. In fact, you've already vividly introduced the children's adoration of both Yash (their interaction with him in the prologue is so adorable) and Aarti (they clearly admire and love her so much; I especially liked Aayu's recall of Aarti protecting him from a bully on the school bus). I'm already enjoying their family dynamic. 😃

You gave us some lovely glimpses of who 16 year old Palak and 10 year old Aayu are as individual characters and their sibling bond. Aayu teasing her was so cute. 😆 The parts in bold had me laughing out loud:

"Yeah'certainly not like how that Sameer looks at you. Like this'." Aayu made a wide-eyed zombie face and grinned.

"Aayu!!! He certainly does not look at me like that!!!"

"Does too'.If he was not such a puppy, I'd have given a demo of my karate prowess for even having an eye at my Di."

"Oh yeah'.Who said you are my bodyguard, kiddo?"

"Don't call me that, Di. I am a big boy. '.Papa said brothers are supposed to protect their sisters. Right papa? He also taught me the karate move to save you if any boy comes near you."

I'm also very intrigued by the reasons for Aarti's silence and her journey to becoming the chatty mother the kids know. Some paragraphs before Payal (or Palak) asked if Aarti's silence happened during her childhood, Yash told them her silence was to the point of muteness. Fascinating background story in the making. And the retracing Yash and Aarti's love story in this fic starts off with a nice twist:

"When did you first meet mumma?"

"On the day she was born."

As usual, Indu, you've got me hooked. Definitely continue, as long as you think you have the time to do it. 😃

Hey! It's a really amazing piece of writing. All their children in their teens and they are having a friendly talk with their father. It's sound interesting and there is a growing curiosity as I read it.

You should continue it. It's amazing.

Hello Buddy...wow seems I am really late to praise ur talent cause everybody is as blown away as me. Indu you are truely a genius. OMG the title "SAMARPAN" gave away the brilliance this SS is going to be. I just loved the play on words and your out of the box thinking when it comes to the storyline. I am yet to read any story where Aayu is apart of it so this is going to be new and interesting. The father, daughter, son moment was just so heartwarming. Seems like Payal as grown up to be a very in depth character and seeing things beyond what they appear to be in terms of being understanding, caring and considerate. Its so beautiful to see children who can visibly see the depth of love their parents share. Aayu reminded me of Ansh, protecting his sister and letting it be known he will do anything to protect her despite being her juniour. Wonderful sibling interaction moment and gives us an understanding of their relationship. Can't comment on Aarthi as not much was given about her directly but it is clear she is the rock of her family from their talks about her. Wow they have known each other since Aarthis birth...truely shows that they are soulmates. Indu darling you have got me riveted and hyped up so please do continue soon :) I have full faith in u to be blown into the world of SAMARPAN:)

awesome start indu beautiful write up as always dear you fascinate me with your writing love the title. do please continue.and thanks for the pm.

Originally posted by: InduG64

Borna, my friend, I was banking on you to come out with a neutral opinion...the on-your-face one. Don't want to get into something that I won't be able to do justice to. With Sparsh, I knew the beginning and I knew how it'll end...but here the beginning itself is the ending...it's the in-between I shall have to pan out. At the moment my mind flies in various directions regarding the characterizations of Yash and Aarti. I am going to be a little slow at the beginning with this one...till I charter the course and there's clarity.

Indu,

Originally posted by: saf24

Indu this is such a pleasant surprise.If onle you could see the look on my face when I saw this. You just made my night. Don't even think of not continuing this. It was such a brilliant start and has lots of potential to turn out even better than your first venture. Loved what you wrote.

Aww...my sweet Saf...you bring a smile to my lips with the simplest, sincerest of compliments. With the expectations of everyone so high, my nervousness quotient has skyrocketed. Simply put...I am scared.😳...I promise I shall give this my best shot...

Originally posted by: sara1990

Awesome please continue

Thank you Sara.😊