Pardon me while I let out my reaction upon reading the last word of Part 10...GAAAHHH!
*takes a deep breath*
This is such an incredible, incredible piece of writing. My thoughts are anything but coherent right now.
*Edited*
I hardly know where to begin...Okay, I have to mention that Pankaj bhaiyya is such a wonderful brother! The way he reassures Yash that he didn't need to worry about explaining his delayed stay in Lucknow to the rest of the family is indicative of just how supportive and understanding Pankaj is.
Yash's restlessness and hazy experiences during his initial days in the city were to be expected by us, the semi-omniscient readers 😆 because it was already evident from his prior behavior that the effect Aarti has been having on him has been growing for quite a while. He tries to escape it by physically distancing himself from her, but that wasn't ever going to work, not when he woke up that one morning with thoughts of her playing on his mind even as he slept!
My favorite phrase: the Arpita Labyrinth...Wow. Really quite a fantastic coincidence that you had the idea of Yash going to the Bhool Bhulaiyya and then we spent pages talking about how Yash is stuck (I'm not going to say he's lost because I think it's a conscious decision on his part to some extent) in his own labyrinth of Arpita's memories! This connection made this part SO meaningful!
The fact that Yash is wandering, directionless (and I bet that doesn't happen often, perhaps this is the first time in a very long time) and ends up entering the place of his own accord, albeit unsconsciously, hints at just how his feelings for Aarti have permeated his being to the extent that he is so consumed by the effort of trying to dispel thoughts of Aarti from his mind that he ends up walking into the Bhool Bhulaiyya without completely realizing what he's doing. Metaphorically, at this point, the Bhool Bhulaiyya is equivalent to the Arpita Labyrinth for me. Yash tries to logically remind himself of Arpita and his devotion to her, but he can't...He can't see her face clearly. [Slightly off-topic: The way Yash can only see a blur of Arpita's face in his mind's eye, while Aarti's is sharp, clear, and radiant reminded me instantly of the Tim Burton adaptation of Sweeney Todd, both the film and some well-written fanfiction I read where the same situation occurs...The first wife's face becomes a blur, he can only remember her yellow hair...And it's disconcerting, extremely so.]
Oh, and the self-induced fog of a million hazy thoughts! I felt like I was reading my own thoughts woven into a narrative, Mira! I have no words left to praise your talent...I chuckled to myself when Yash saw the man's badge and thought, "It didn't get more real than that." Haha, I love the gentle touches of humor coupled with the sense of seriousness that otherwise envelops the atmosphere...Even for a second, that one observation lightens the mood - otherwise, the description of the seemingly ageless, dusty-sandaled man would have made me wonder if he was a personification of Time itself! "Since when had he become so fanciful?" I suspect ever since a certain wounded soul came to you with the fated purpose of breathing life into your own withering soul...
Part of me is still angry. Part of me has still has never forgiven her. Do you know, I've never admitted that to anyone, not even to myself. I've this image of my wife, before any of this happened, as a healthy, happy woman…And I've held on to that…because that's all I have as evidence of our life together…
I didn't expect this at all, but wow! What a way to explain the memories that he has of that healthy, happy woman...before tragedy struck and snatched her away. And they say that it is easier to spill out thoughts to strangers sometimes - at least I think I've seen/heard that somewhere...It's so appropriate that Yash finds, whether by chance or by fate, this man who seems to see right through him and understand his emotional state; that guide (and this reminds me of how gurus and guides help others find the right path, so to speak) is familiar with the Bhool Bhulaiyya and just as he knows the twists and turns of that physical place, so too does he know the endless complexities and dilemmas of the human condition.
She is now a part of your past. And the past is no place for the living.
This also reminds me of a portion of dialogue from Sweeney Todd...Something VERY similar is said in the film, and I absolutely love it, the truth of it...The difficulty of moving on is very much there, but it does not do to dwell on memories to the extent that they become a reality for the ones who are still alive and who need to root themselves in the present and look to the future. Very poignant thought.
Love this bit, too, about the labyrinth of the city (and of the mind?)... "The best of us can get hopelessly lost in it. We just need a little help sometimes and you know, I never tire of it. So this is where we part ways. Goodbye and good luck…."
I know I skipped around a bit, but I wanted to deal with Yash/Aarti at the end.
"Not turn out well? No! No! You couldn't be more wrong!"
Throughout this part, I could hear the earnest tone at the beginning with which Yash negates the man's question to set the facts straight...Sweet, that! Then the confession that she has changed their lives, his life, his expectations...
And along with it she overturned all my certainties. I don't know when or why or how…but suddenly, I have expectations from her…
Where he was previously more or less a passive party in a negotiation/compromise, now he is very much active in his involvement, as we've seen with the kids + Aarti at least...For Aarti alone, though, there are needs and emotions that he had probably thought he'd never feel with her in the equation, but they've crept up on him nonetheless and turned his life inside-out. The choppiness in the way Yash speaks towards the end of that paragraph makes it seem as though he's thinking out loud, processing his thoughts and trying to make sense of the jumble in his head...
But lately I've been feeling…I don't know what it is I've been feeling…Feeling that I no longer want that deal. I want more. I want things from her… I want…I want her."
And that...that was so, so, SO beautifully written! The halting...hesitation...the struggle to try and translate emotions and feelings into words that don't do justice to the intensity of those feelings...That last sentence said it all...and more.
Perhaps the MOST beautiful part comes right at the end, and I can't resist quoting it again:
Yash shuddered, as though he had just emerged from a deep and numbing fever. As the warmth of the sun spread through him, every limb, every muscle in his body ached as if being awakened for the first time in a very long time.
He'd never felt so alive.
Yash ran his hands through his hair and laughed out loud as he realized what had been chosen for him. What he had chosen.
The way Yash steps out of the Bhool Bhulaiyya and goes toward the sunlight, which is beckoning to him, made me think of how Aarti is Yash's sun...she is his ray of hope for a new life. She was like the ray of hope that no one sees when they are surrounded by darkness and misery; she was the sunlight that is not welcome by those in a deep slumber who don't want to be roused to see a new day and the things that such a day has to offer...Now, she is the sunlight that Yash sees, blinding, warm, and an essential part of life...The new life that Yash has chosen to accept. It had always been waiting for him...He just needed to take the first step and awaken from his slumber.
I love the way he runs his hands through his hair (trademark Yash gesture!) and laughs...That laugh, that realization of final and ultimate liberation from the past...that brings to mind Aarti's rush of joy when she finally liberated herself from her past as well. Ah, briliant!!!
He had to get home.
Right away.
To Aarti.
The last three lines, those last three, short, choppy lines! ❤️ Once again, I saw these as Yash's thoughts - probably the only ones swirling round and round in his mind, the only understandable ones at the moment - and another indication of just how consumed he is by Aarti...SHE is the one at home, the one he needs to return to...She is the one he desires to rush to with a frenzied craze that serves as an interesting comparison to his earlier panicked rush to the park - the encounter that, ironically enough, served as a catalyst of sorts for this whole series of events to take place!
This made my weekend infinitely better! I'm so happy right now. Can we hope for another update very soon? I'm another obsessed AarYa Addict, and this story is perfection. 👏 👏 👏
Edited by MelodiousDreams - 13 years ago
