why vimmy see only hetal a problem?

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Kalapi

@Kalapi

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#31

Originally posted by: pesi11
Vimmy ...i have no words to describe her...first of all she is not the mother in law of hetal...she has no right to show anything on hetal..if i were in hetals place i vl give a tight slap to kalavathi n throw her out for her rude behavior whr she is just a servant ...

I think in a joint family, the line bewtten a MIL the actual and second in line (if I may say so) is a bit blurred alos a servant from a long time isn't necessarily traeted as aservant any more...of course there are fine line to this as well, my POV

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rayadallie

@rayadallie

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#32

Originally posted by: vcoolwater
How is Vimmy trying break up Karan and Hetal marriage? Vimmy has not done anything to try make Karan leave Hetal. All she ask is Karan is speak with Hetal. Is that a crime? She knows speaking to Hetal is useless. Maybe Hetal would listen to Karan. After all Karan is Hetal's husband.

Also Vimmy was never against Hetal having cravings. Remember she and Sweety made aloo panthra for her. She was just upset over Hetal eating outside. It didn't help that Daarji scolded her for it either. Vimmy isn't only one who has problems with it. Sweety never ate food outside, they made speical dishes for her. Same for Hetal, they made Aloo Panthra for her. She even helped Sweety decorate Hetal's room.

Why should Vimmy explain to Sweety? Sweety is already speaking out against Permeet. Remember Vimmy overheard Sweety and Permeet fight.

Bharti is worse than Vimmy. Bharti screams and abuses Mona each and every day. She stopping Mona from doing her job which supports the family. Except for some restricitions like not eating Pizza or watching television, Vimmy have given more freedom to Hetal. Vimmy hasn't dump on any responsibilites on Hetal. I haven't seen Hetal do any housework, while Mona is reponsible for everything in the house. I rather have Vimmy as my mother-in-law instead of Bharti.

As for the husband following his vows. In some Indian household, it doesn't work that way. I have heard horror stories about husbands dumping their wives just because they can't have babies. It more common in India than you think. Wives who can't have children are considered usless and garbage. In fact it would not be surprising if Permeet did dump Sweety and got remarried.

As for Permeet's parents. He did try to speak with them after his mother destroyed Sweety in front everyone. She wouldn't listen to him. They made clear that Sweety is garbage and not welcomed in their home. The fact that Permeet was able to stand up to his parents show great maturity no immaturity He realized his parents were wrong and went against them. He supported his wife.

Why should he work things with parents out? When they made it clear they don't respect his wife and will treat her like trash..

The Bedi would love Sweety and Pemeet to go back to his parent's house. They have forgiven them so many times and swollow their pride only to have Sweety thrown out like a useless doll. I am sure that is not good for Sweety's mental health either.

As for Kalavati. Maybe Hetal shouldn't have framed her for mop incident. Kalavati at that point didn't do anything to her. Why did Hetal do such a nasty to her? Don't servants have feeling too. Or people of the house could abuse them and frame for crimes they don't commit.

You made great points. I enjoyed reading. i totally agree with you especially your last point on kalavati.

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Dabulls23

@Dabulls23

Stunner

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#33

Originally posted by: Kalapi
Varshe I think this is because she tried to create a rift between her and Chaiji...that is why she maynot like Hetal...I can't blame Vimmy totally on this account as Hetal started to play all these games as soon as she came in the family...I couldn't like a DIL doing all these either...

Honestly I dont like Hetal or DIL like her either...I was making comments on Vimmy yesterday how I found her behavior...Leaving Hetal on a side Vimmy was very hypocritical...

No way my post condones Hetal's mean evilness but I don't like what Vimmy is doing either

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Luv4games

@Luv4games

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#34

Originally posted by: Megha2011
My point was only for "Parmeet's marriage vows." Forget about what he is doing with Karan or Hetal etc. etc As people are saying he has to be with sweety because he is married to her or he has to or he is fulfilling the vows which any husband have to do or will do. That's not right.

No one cares about any signal vows out of seven when it comes to kids.

My cousin aunty has a son who was married for 12 years. The couple tried every possible thing to have kid but unfortunately nothing helped. Saas-bahu were having khit pit everyday with little little things but the major issue was that bahu wasn't able to give kid to family. We used to get tired hearing their nonsense whenever as a guest we used to visit there. They are rich and educated family still were fighting like cat and dog. Even their maid used to said that the saas is doing to much khit pit. Finally the couple end up with divorce. As soon as the bahu left the house, the saas became paralyzed couldn't even able to enjoy her son second marriage and not even able to carry or play with her son's daughter which he got from his second marriage. Everyone; neighbors, relatives, their maids saying that it's all her deed so she got paralyzed. I have seen many these types of cases among Indian societies they just dump the bahu or treat her like garbage. So here, Parmeet has done mahan things by accepting his wife against his parents.

Servants ' well, I was only saying that in India people count them as part of the family. They respect them but does not treat like garbage that's why servants has right to speak especially when it come to themselves. So how would kalavati remain quite when hetal created moping scene.

I went to India for my marriage and stayed there for sometime. The maid used to tell me about my saas like how she is etc. etc. She said all nice things about my saas except one thing that my saas is pretty strict and have been like that with my husband and SIL. I didn't say anything to her but just listened to her and did ok..ok' She used to talk with me whenever she used to come to my bedroom for mop or whenever she used to see me in kitchen. One day I heard myself she was telling my saas that your bahu is nice, even she is from America she is nice and adjusting herself with us. My saas said yeah I know that's why we chose her. So my point was that maids do speak in India but does not stay quite or being treat like garbage. Even the household member too listens to them as Vimmy listening to kalavati. I have seen this everywhere even at my house in India, at my sisters' house, at neighbor's house. Maid get involve because they visit the house everyday or staying there so she know everything that's she got involved. They got involved especially because family member listen to them too. But it's nothing like she shouldn't get involve because she is just maid.

That's all I was trying to say nothing connected to Hetal.

April2007 ' I am agree with you, if Hetal has got in-laws like Gandhis or like Sweeti's in-laws they would have straighten her out.

To the bold statement, that is making generalizations based on some people. there are many people who do care and respect marriage vows and get married to be with each other and not just for kids.

I totally agree with you that in the past and even now there are many husbands and in laws who will kick the girl out if she cant have kids. I have seen this in my own family. My moms aunt couldnt have kids so her husband married another woman and now she has to live with a sautan who has two sons so of course has all the respect and love of family and hubby while my moms aunt is the one taking care of the kids and raising them but the kids love her so she says that is enough for her but still it is so unfair to know your husband is in the other room with his favorite wife every night while you are taking care of the children and living in a room that is half used for the storage of the other wife. At the same time, my cousin's hubby couldnt have kids but she stayed with him and to this day the MIL knowing that her son has problems tells everyone that my cousin cant have kids. But my cousin loved her husband and stayed with him and not even once made him think that i am doing you a huge favor because for her marriage was more important. Her parents were keen for her to divorce him and get remarried but she said no and made them accept him the way he is. I had a friend whose uncle got remarried because from his first wife they only had a son but him and his family wanted more kids so he got married again and did not even divorce the first wife. People like this have no respect or value for marriage or love for their spouse because in this example at least you have one kid just be happy why do u need to get married again. I agree with you that these things happen all the time but the fact is that it is wrong. We cant have these as standards because this is not the right thing. When two people get married, it should be for sole purpose of being with each other forever and you cant abandon each other because one of you cant have kids. That is why i dont think parmeet did any favor on sweety, he says he loves her so he should stay with her for that love. There are people who burn their DIL but we cant use that as standard and say in the case of hetal, sweety and mona that at least they are not being burned so they should be thankful to their in laws.

as to when it comes to maids, of course it is ok to be friendly with them and let them have a voice but not when it comes to family issues. Your maid was saying nice things to you and ur MIL and her purpose was to make you feel comfortable and know your MIL, she wasnt saying anything wrong or being malicious. For a maid, it is a job. Like kalavati can interfere all she wants and insult hetal and influence vimmy to behave badly with her and everything but at the end of the day she goes to her own home to her own family and does not care what happens at work after that. Tomorrow if her husband gets a new job or she gets a better job she will leave work and not look back. She will never be as affected by her actions as the bedi family will be. even in the beginning when hetal was newly married and had not done her evil things, when she was asking kalavati for help she kept saying no and told her to do it herself. And she kept passing snarky comments to hetal and kept telling vimmy that she wont be a good DIL and stuff like that and that was back when hetal first came to the house and wasnt malicious. From what I remember karan's mom never encouraged kalavati's behavior and told her to be respectable to the new bahu and member of the family even sweety would tell her to stop (cant remember exactly) but vimmy always encouraged her behavior and in fact she would start talking crap about hetal in front of kalavati. There is one thing being nice to the maids or any other help but then allowing them to pick favorites and insult family members is not right and the household members should stop this kind of behavior. It is just another job for them.

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rayadallie

@rayadallie

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#35

Originally posted by: sherma
i am again saying teh same thinghetal isnt a saint for me,neither is parmeet. hetal doing is known to every1 gandhi as well as bedi,still vimmy was excited to get hetal abck is mystery fro me-as a viewer i feel its only for the kid which they plan to give to sweety.i want hetal to back out and den see how vimmy is with hetal.
parmeet isnt at bedi house for dadaji-he is here just for teh kid,the day he get he will leave the bedi house along with sweetyand that time bedis wont stop them,after all sweety ill get what she wants-let hetal(the mother) suffer.
parmeet needs to be stopped asap d way hetal is being stopped ,or else bedis will get divided

Sad to say, the Bedi's are already divided. Vimmy has tried being frank to everyone even daarji in order for them to unite. this did not do any justice so rather than being frank she choose to talk to karan so he can persuade his wife and she is chiding sweety and parmeet's relationship since she does not want for parmeet to walk out on sweety. she is trying it the diplomatic way.

But I think Vimmy should listen to daarji's advice and stay out and keep to herself and husband and allow everyone to do what they want and things will eventually fall into place. However, living in a household where everyone minding their own business and keeping to themselves is not an easy task. it is very nerve racking as I have experienced it and I can only empathize with Vimmy.

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Luv4games

@Luv4games

Voyager

Posted: 13 years ago

#36

Originally posted by: rayadallie

Sad to say, the Bedi's are already divided. Vimmy has tried being frank to everyone even daarji in order for them to unite. this did not do any justice so rather than being frank she choose to talk to karan so he can persuade his wife and she is chiding sweety and parmeet's relationship since she does not want for parmeet to walk out on sweety. she is trying it the diplomatic way.

But I think Vimmy should listen to daarji's advice and stay out and keep to herself and husband and allow everyone to do what they want and things will eventually fall into place. However, living in a household where everyone minding their own business and keeping to themselves is not an easy task. it is very nerve racking as I have experienced it and I can only empathize with Vimmy.

I think they should have a big family meeting with everyone present. They should ask parmeet bluntly what on earth he wants and if he says he wants to move out this time they should let him if he says he wants to stay with them then they should tell him that he needs to respect the son of the house and not create more problems than there already are. Same with hetal ask her what she wants and come up with a solution. At the same time, vimmy needs to stop interfering so much in hetal and karans life. GIve some freedom to them. So what if they got a tv it is just a tv. Cant husband and wife have that much privacy to watch a late night movie or something in their room be comfortable and lie down instead of sitting in chairs. I would be shy and embarrassed to cuddle with my husband in front of my in laws when watching tv. also she needs to be fair to everyone. If she scolds karan and hetal then she should do the same with parmeet and sweety. And if they are so uncomfortable with parmeet living there then they should talk to sweety and ask her to bring up the topic of moving out with her hubby.

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sherma

@sherma

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#37

Originally posted by: Luv4games

I think they should have a big family meeting with everyone present. They should ask parmeet bluntly what on earth he wants and if he says he wants to move out this time they should let him if he says he wants to stay with them then they should tell him that he needs to respect the son of the house and not create more problems than there already are. Same with hetal ask her what she wants and come up with a solution. At the same time, vimmy needs to stop interfering so much in hetal and karans life. GIve some freedom to them. So what if they got a tv it is just a tv. Cant husband and wife have that much privacy to watch a late night movie or something in their room be comfortable and lie down instead of sitting in chairs. I would be shy and embarrassed to cuddle with my husband in front of my in laws when watching tv. also she needs to be fair to everyone. If she scolds karan and hetal then she should do the same with parmeet and sweety. And if they are so uncomfortable with parmeet living there then they should talk to sweety and ask her to bring up the topic of moving out with her hubby.

i totally agree on thiss-they shld ahve a meeting,and if parmeet wants to move out so let him go wid sweety

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sherma

@sherma

Rocker

+ 2

Posted: 13 years ago

#38

Originally posted by: Megha2011
My point was only for "Parmeet's marriage vows." Forget about what he is doing with Karan or Hetal etc. etc As people are saying he has to be with sweety because he is married to her or he has to or he is fulfilling the vows which any husband have to do or will do. That's not right.

No one cares about any signal vows out of seven when it comes to kids.

My cousin aunty has a son who was married for 12 years. The couple tried every possible thing to have kid but unfortunately nothing helped. Saas-bahu were having khit pit everyday with little little things but the major issue was that bahu wasn't able to give kid to family. We used to get tired hearing their nonsense whenever as a guest we used to visit there. They are rich and educated family still were fighting like cat and dog. Even their maid used to said that the saas is doing to much khit pit. Finally the couple end up with divorce. As soon as the bahu left the house, the saas became paralyzed couldn't even able to enjoy her son second marriage and not even able to carry or play with her son's daughter which he got from his second marriage. Everyone; neighbors, relatives, their maids saying that it's all her deed so she got paralyzed. I have seen many these types of cases among Indian societies they just dump the bahu or treat her like garbage. So here, Parmeet has done mahan things by accepting his wife against his parents.

Servants ' well, I was only saying that in India people count them as part of the family. They respect them but does not treat like garbage that's why servants has right to speak especially when it come to themselves. So how would kalavati remain quite when hetal created moping scene.

I went to India for my marriage and stayed there for sometime. The maid used to tell me about my saas like how she is etc. etc. She said all nice things about my saas except one thing that my saas is pretty strict and have been like that with my husband and SIL. I didn't say anything to her but just listened to her and did ok..ok' She used to talk with me whenever she used to come to my bedroom for mop or whenever she used to see me in kitchen. One day I heard myself she was telling my saas that your bahu is nice, even she is from America she is nice and adjusting herself with us. My saas said yeah I know that's why we chose her. So my point was that maids do speak in India but does not stay quite or being treat like garbage. Even the household member too listens to them as Vimmy listening to kalavati. I have seen this everywhere even at my house in India, at my sisters' house, at neighbor's house. Maid get involve because they visit the house everyday or staying there so she know everything that's she got involved. They got involved especially because family member listen to them too. But it's nothing like she shouldn't get involve because she is just maid.

That's all I was trying to say nothing connected to Hetal.

April2007 ' I am agree with you, if Hetal has got in-laws like Gandhis or like Sweeti's in-laws they would have straighten her out.

parmeet sweeety havent atken a second opinion yet-how much i remember parmeet fther was to called a big gynaec(before reports truth came out)for sweety,they can consult him,ur cousin got divorced after 12years,after trying everything tehy could do.

ya in my house too,i had a day-night maid who is there with us past 15 years,i call her appa,the respect we give each other was mutual,my aprwents ahd arranged for her marriage expense but she wasnt allow to interfere in our family mattersneither we take her opinion in mking decisions,i jst feel a maid should know her limit.i will hate if any maid except my appa comes and give advice or speak to me teh way kalavati does.

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rayadallie

@rayadallie

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#39

Originally posted by: Luv4games

I think they should have a big family meeting with everyone present. They should ask parmeet bluntly what on earth he wants and if he says he wants to move out this time they should let him if he says he wants to stay with them then they should tell him that he needs to respect the son of the house and not create more problems than there already are. Same with hetal ask her what she wants and come up with a solution. At the same time, vimmy needs to stop interfering so much in hetal and karans life. GIve some freedom to them. So what if they got a tv it is just a tv. Cant husband and wife have that much privacy to watch a late night movie or something in their room be comfortable and lie down instead of sitting in chairs. I would be shy and embarrassed to cuddle with my husband in front of my in laws when watching tv. also she needs to be fair to everyone. If she scolds karan and hetal then she should do the same with parmeet and sweety. And if they are so uncomfortable with parmeet living there then they should talk to sweety and ask her to bring up the topic of moving out with her hubby.

Not only parmeet and sweety should go on their own, hetal and karan should also do the same. However, with the current situation in the bedi's house, Family togetherness may never happen even after they have moved and live on their own. There would always be tension when they get together as the root cause of the problem is not Vimmy giving freedom to SIL and disrespecting DIL. it is much larger and deep rooted than that. It all stems from Hetal's entry into the Bedi's house. I do not want to go into the details of it as I think we all know what went on. So running from a problem does not get rid of it, facing the problem and let time heal the wounds. Some people only learn the hard way.

Karan and Hetal buying a tv for their room to watch in comfort, is only what you see on the surface

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Hillylove

@Hillylove

Dazzler

Posted: 13 years ago

#40

Originally posted by: rayadallie
You made great points. I enjoyed reading. i totally agree with you especially your last point on kalavati.

I have agreed with all your points on Hetal and the whole family situation. I am shock that anyone thinks that Hetal's behaviour is acceptable, however I guess that is their opinion as sad as it may be. This girl has been so evil from day one, since she walked into her sasural. You are right she reminds me of that girl you go to school with, I knew a lot of those. Vimmy is not a hypocrite, she has tried so many times with Hetal, but that girl keeps behaving the same old way no matter what. She reacts the way she does, cause she is human. Even if some people may think Hetal is not a hypocrite because she is rude and tells you like it is, even if it hurts you( that is called being a wretch). she is a BIGGER hypocrite to her husband. 1. She should tell him why she instigated him against his family in the first place, which lead to them leaving the house, because she is envious of what others have and wanted Karan to make money so she can have jewelry like Vimmy etc. etc. (try an remember that), such a petty girl 2. She should tell him how much she hates Mona 3. She should tell him how much she HATES his familly 4. She should tell him she DOES NOT want to give her child to Sweety. 5. She should tell him she does not want to stay in the house at all!!

She should also tell her Mom, how much she resents her for her relationship with Mona, and for speaking against her terrible behaviour. So, Hetal needs to stop being a Hypocrite, conniving, liar and a hateful brat.

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why vimmy see only hetal a problem? - Page 4

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