Posted:
Dear Sallu,
Let me start by saying that though I'm far from being a fan of your recent work or histrionics, I fell in love with you when I was all of eight. Your eternal screen name epitomised the way I used to feel about you. Yes, Prem, I still remember playing Bollywood dress-up and lip-synching to the Maine Pyar Kiya duets you acted out with the saccharine-sweet Bhagyashree in front of my bedroom mirror. Ah, the first taste of true unrequited love on falling for a movie star.
You continued to leave me star-struck and moony-eyed withBaaghi, Sanam Bewafa, Saajan and Love in the next couple of years. Thanks to the cult hit Andaz Apna Apna and song-and-dance paradise Hum Aapke Hain Koun, the teenage me was as much taken by you as the pre-teen me.
But something changed soon after. You started looking like a WWF wrestler called Beefcake Butler or Brutus Beefcake Barber (or some unappetising alliteration to that effect) ranked 75 (I think) in a card game my kid brother would pester me into playing. The bulging muscles didn't help your dancing skills... or lack of them. The super stiff shirtless dancing in the song O O jaane jaana " that should've inspired the makers to title the film (Semi-) Strip Kiya To Darna Kya " was almost as bad as Jeet co-star Sunny Deol's ant killer style inYara O Yara.
Endless playback songs by Anu Malik were the final straw. I mean, how can any self-respecting woman (sorry, Somy, Sangeeta, Aishwarya, Katrina...) feel something for a man who sounds like this " East or West, Oonchi hai building, Jaanam samjha karo, Ek garam chai ki pyaali ho " even for a few minutes on screen? And why, pray why, can't artists stick to what they do best (I'm referring to Malik and composing, as opposed to what he believes is singing)? And how can any self-respecting woman still feel something for a man after having seen him enact the heebee-jeebie chulbul shiverand the crotch towel rub-a-dub; the latter was even repeated on a Bigg Boss show he hosted.
Talking about which, though the show is one of the last things I'd watch were I chained to a TV set, he makes much more sense on it than he did on Koffee with Karan's latest episode. That's where he talks about several oft-anticipated issues with a poker face even as Karan blushed, giggled, and chucked and mocked away. About not being married despite having met many "right" women because he hopes they'll get "righter and righter" considering that he's a writer's son. About being caught cheating on former girlfriend Sangeeta Bijlani after the wedding cards were printed. About never having broken up with anyone "technically" because he's never had a girlfriend. About being a virgin and saving himself for the woman he gets married to.
It's probably the woman who'll need to save herself from him.🤣
A former fan
😆😆
Anupamaa
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