Sujeet entertainer kamaal ki page 8!!

Are hum ee soch rahat hai....kahe hum na hasi mazaak ka kachu intezaam kare 😛

Please post all GES & Bihari related Jokes, funny stories & other mazaki stuff here !

Like a funny dialogue by jiju, a pic with funny look of Samman etc. etc.

As long as GES/Bihari related & Funny. Only 2 conditions 😉

Have fun😛!

Keep Smiling😃!

Ooh and do comment/participate please😳

Shaheen

Joke: Chacha Bhatija - Bihari 'SHOLEY'

Ee bhaiya ... u ka he na ...hum ko ee jokewa bahut hi mast laga bhai....to hum sochhe bhaiya hum, aap logan ke saath share kare....Agar aap Bihari hain, to 😛, bhaiya, maphi de deo ...hamri sar phodne ka planning nahi karna😛...(This is just for fun😊)

to bhaiya hum suru karte hai ....ek bahut hi chaka chak joke hai😆

Chacha Bhatija - Bihari 'SHOLEY'
Ek baar ek jhonpur ke chacha aur oka bhatija solay filmwa dekhan ko gaye hey.un dono ne hi pehli baar apne jiwan mein salima(cinema) dekha to bhaiya hum, aap logan ka oka aankho dekha haal suna rahe hain.

Ka hota hai ki jaise hi filmwa suru hota hai aur pehla hi scene ma jab ghode daude chale aa rahe hoten hain to chcha bhatija se - arey o bhatija pair upar kar le re bhatija - kahe chcha ka ho gawa.

Chacha - ka dekhta nahi hai ka re burbak ghodwa dauda chala aa raha hai. Bhatija - ka chcha tum to ek dum hi moorakh ho ee to salima hai. Chcha - arey o burbak to ka pata salima hai humka pata salima hai ee sala ghudwa ko ka pata salima hai sala abhi nikal kar bahar aa gawa to ka hue hai jaanat nahi ho ka😆.
To bhaiya jaise taise kar ke oo dono poori filmwa dekh kar jab baahar aate hain aur doosre logon ki tarah hi ek doosre ko film ka story sunate hain apne andaaz mein
bhatija - chcha bahut chaukas filam hai maza aagawa re to ka kaisi lagi filam chcha humka to bahut achchi lagi.
Chacha - haan bhai filmwa to bahut chaukas hai.
Phir woh dono apne kisi dost ko us film ka story sunatey hain. Aakhiri scene ki. Apne hi andaaz mein.

Haan to bhai ka hota hai jab gabbar ke aadmi beeru ko baaandh liye yeh mota mota rassi se aur gabbar basanti ko nachne ke liye kehta hai. To beeru kehta hai ki nahi basanti to in kuttan ke aage nahi na nachana to humra joru hai re, to humra ghar ka izzat hai re. To bhaiya sambha lagata hai nisaana beeru ki khupadiya ka aur basanti ko khoob nachaya gabbar ne. Phir ka hota hai ki saala lambuwa(amitabh) aa jata hai aur dhaad(firing) dhaadh(firing) kar beeru ko aur basanti ko chuda leta hai aur beeru se kehta hai ki beeru to bhauji ko lekar bhaag hum inhya hi rukega. Beeru bola nahi hum inhya rukega to bhaag ja apni bhauji ko lekar. Oka baad bhaiya gabbar ka aadmi bahut ghasiya ghasiya kar maar dala lambuwa ko. Bechara bahut achcha aadmi hot raha. Par sala seetee baja kar thakur ki widhwa ko patai liya sala bahut mast aadmi hota raha😆. Phir bhaiya ka hota hai ki beeru gabbar ka pakad leta hai aur oka tentoa dabane lagta hai itne mein hi thakur aa jata hain wahan par aur beeru ko kehta hai ki beeru chod de eka ee humra sikaar hai. Tohra dost humse badaa kiya tha ki gabbar humka jinda milega. Oka baad beeru gabbar ka chod deta hai. Gabbar bahut khus ho jata hai ki ee sasura haath kata thakur humraa ka bigaad lega. Par oo to sasura thkur bhi bahut hi chalaak nikla oo to sasura jutiya(shoes) ke neeche kiliya(nails)lagai ke aat raha aur oo gabbar ka bahut mara bhaiya bahut mara.

Chacha - bhaiya bahut achcha filmwa hot tahi
bhatija - haan bhaiya rameswa(ramesh sippy)banaya hai aur burmanwa(r.d.burman) bajaya hai.

Joke by: Rajan, Delhi, India.

Bhaiyya's Exam

A bhaiyyaji applied for an engineering position at an office in Uttar Pradesh. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager.

Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to the bhaiyyaji and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy."

Bhaiyyaji: "And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Uttar Pradesh I should get the job!"
Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong."
Bhaiyyaji: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?"

Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"

😆

Professor Bihari

A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class.The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he didn't know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted "follow me" .The guy followed him till he went out of the class.Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted "Don't follow me" and went inside the class.....😆.....
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Inside the Class :

* Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
* Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.😆
* Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
* Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
* You, meet me behind the class.😆 ( meaning AFTER the class .. )
* Both of u three, get out of the class.
* Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today😆
* Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
* Take 5 cm wire of any length....😆
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About his family :

* I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)
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At the ground :

* All of you, stand in a straight circle😆.
* There is no wind in the balloon.
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To a boy, angrily :

* I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk 😆?
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Giving a punishment :

* You, rotate the ground four times...
* You, go and under-stand the tree...
* You three of you, stand together separately.
* Why are you late - say YES or NO ...😆.(?)
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Sir at his best :

Sir had once gone to a film with his wife.
By chance, he happened to see one of the boys at the theatre, though the
boy did not see them.
So the next day at school... (to that boy ) - " Yesterday I saw you WITH
MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre"😆

Proving Shakespear wrong 😛

With due respect to All Biharis…….I'm also originally from Bihar😉

A Bihari babua was away from his wife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar).

At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.

His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years…

The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.

The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"

The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken care,then the name would be "DWIVEDI";

If it is the third neighbour then it would be "TRIVEDI",

If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be "CHATURVEDI";

If its the fifth neighbour then it would be "PANDEY"…

After listening to this, questions followed.

What if it is a mixture of neighbours? "Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"…

And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? Then it would be "SHARMA"…

But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour? Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"…

If she does not remember the name then? "It is YAAD-AV"

But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? Then it will be named "DOSHI"…

Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire? Then he will be named "JOSHI"…

And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival?…. "DESHPANDEY."

well guys as you see....it's all in the name 😆

Ok here are some Laloo jokes 😆

English Tuition!
Laloo goes to america for learning english.
After some days George Bush calls Rabri Devi & told her "Ae sasoora angreji nahin seekh sakat hai."

LaLoo Jokes
What do they call French Toilet in Bihar?
La loo

Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT SIR"
for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...

Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them
"Ji could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas...".
The man at the other end replies "One second sir..."
and Laloo immediately replies "Thank you" and puts the phone down.

Laloos family planning policy..
"Don't have more than two children in one year"

At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE." & the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."

After having become the CM of Bihar, Laloo decides to pose for a picture. To show he is down to earth CM he decides to pose along with a herd of buffaloes and resting his elbows on the back of the cattle he poses for the photo.
Next day the photo appears front page of a newspaper.
GUESS THE CAPTION
"Laloo, third from left"

Laloo Prasad Yadav was hosting a Japanese Delegation for Business Development to Bihar.
The Japanese Embssary was quite impressed with Bihar and he stated, "Bihar is an excellent state. Give us three years and we will turn it into an economic superpower like Japan."
Laloo was very surprised. "You Japanese are very ineficient," he stated "Give me three days and I will turn Japan into Bihar"

A reporter asked Laloo "What is the main reason for a divorce ?"
"Marriage"

Some more Bihari Babu Jokes 😆

u kahe na bhai....ek baar suru ho gaye hum...ab ruk nahi sakat hai....to bhai ee lo.....teengo chargo aur joke sunate hai.....

1) A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says:
Saala pura body headache maar raha hai....😆😆

2) A Bihari babua goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets: "Do tho ticket dena" , the person at the window tells him that there is a house full, so this Bihari babua says: "koi baat nahin do house full de do".

3) A Bihari babu went to New Delhi for the first time in his life. He went there during the time of Asiad and was zapped to see all these new stadiums, newly constructed roads, flyovers etc etc. The poor fellow hadn't seen all this ever before. So when he came back to Aligarh people asked him as to how did he like
Delhi, he was too excited and said : yaar delhi to buhat top ka laga, pura delhi chamak chamak raha tha, sab kuch jagmaga raha tha, sab shine maar raha tha lekin yaar ek cheez hum understand nahin kar paye, yeh itta barka barka speed breaker kahe ko bana diya hai (he couldn't figure out what is a flyover).

4) A Bihari babua went to a cigarette shop and asked for one Wills: Bhai ek Will dena, so the guy selling the cigarettes told him that there is no brand by the name of Will, it is Wills, but the Bihari insisted and said I want one Will, so the person told him unless you say it correctly i.e Wills I won't sell it to you, so the Bihari went mad and said "Hum ek hi to maang rahen
hain pura packet to nahin maang rahen hain" 😆.

5) This incident really happened in college. Two Biharis talking
to each other, " Aaj Mother teresa a rahen hai Kennedy Auditorium mein saam ko aap chalenge na , hum aap ko 5.30 p.m sharp pe lene aienge, so this fellow didn't know who
is Mother Teresa and replied back, " nahin bhai aap hi chale jaiye hum Englis film nahin dekhte hain.

6) There was this Bihari who was travelling with two tickets, so when the T.T.E asked for the ticket, this fellow gave both the tickets, and so the T.T.E asked him the reason of buying two tickets , this fellow answered well what will happen if in case I lose one of them, so the T.T.E said what if you lose both of them, so this guy said then why do I have a monthly pass.

maphi chahte hai bhai😆😆...agar kisi ko bura laga ho to

So far the jokes 😉

Let's have some funny pics now 😛

heheh is this funny or scary😆

oye jeeb mat nikalo bhai 😛

hmmmm e ka chakkar hai bhai... aaj kal hamka eee Samman babua ko dekh kar aisan lagta hai jaisen Rang badlta chachunder/... girgit toh u ho hi nahi sakat 🤢

Originally posted by: Nehz

hmmmm e ka chakkar hai bhai... aaj kal hamka eee Samman babua ko dekh kar aisan lagta hai jaisen Rang badlta chachunder/... girgit toh u ho hi nahi sakat 🤢

hahahahah😆 omg you sound like my dadijaan di

she used to use the word chachundar a lot 😛