Blame Game: Epi May 7, 2013
Your vision will become clear when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams.
Who looks inside, awakens.
-Carl Jung (Psychologist)
"Global warming ke liye bhi aap mujhey hi blame karenge na Mr. Khan?" Zoya's sarcastic comment last week was not an off the cuff remark by Zoya. She has experienced it time and again. Since he has met her, Asad has never hesitated in pointing fingers at Zoya for anything that's gone wrong in his life.
After blaming Rashid Khan for the past 17 years, Zoya has now become his beloved punching bag.
Why? There is a simple answer to this question.
Because Zoya has forced a man
-who had vowed never to fall in love- to fall in love with her
-who had vowed to keep the locks around his heart fastened forever- to gradually unfasten each lock one by one
- who knew that one day he would marry a conservative and docile woman- to agree into marrying a liberal and headstrong woman
- who was used to controlling everything around him to fall in love-to gradually lose all control over everything in his life
-who prided himself about his principles and honesty- to lie and be dishonest
Of course it's Zoya's fault! What right did she have to walk into his life, captivate him forever, topple all his principles and then drive him insane whenever she has tried to walk out of his life?
Poor Asad. His life was really peachy right before Zoya entered his monotonous, boring, dull and predictable life. She had the audacity to make his life bright, chirpy, unpredictable and full of emotions he had never experienced before.
Of course, she has to take the blame for all of the above. So, this blood sample is just a drop in this ocean of blame game.
Asad is lucky to have a woman like Zoya in his life. Despite all his blame games, his taunts, his harassment, his slap, his below the belt remarks about her lack of understanding of relationships, she has always forgiven him and is in fact looking forward to a future with him. Hats off to the girl! Any other girl would have walked out by now. She had an out- when she was being deported, but because she is so hopelessly in love with this man, she turned around and ran back into his life with an expectation,"shayad ab aakhiri ho yeh sitam, har sitam yeh soch kar hum seh gaye…"
What's the solution Zoya?
Stick it out? Accept that one day, Asad will come around. One day, he will realize that he had been wrong all along. One day, he will learn to respect and trust you.
That's what she is doing right now. She has accepted Asad as her fate; she loves this home, she loves Dilshaad and Najma. They treat her like a princess and really want her to be a part of the family. An orphan, who has never had a home, and for the first time in her life feels that Asad's home is her home but does this give Asad the right to make her his favorite punching bag time and again?
Asad, a man who prides himself for valuing relationships is frankly acting like a hypocrite right now. Is he valuing the relationship that he has signed up for? Even though, he has been harping that this engagement is fake, he knows deep within that it's real and a deeper part of him wants it to be real.
Marriage is based on love, trust and respect. Is he ready to accept Zoya as his wife when he can't express his love and only express distrust and disrespect for her?
Does his loyalty to his childhood friend mean he can undermine the value of his relationship with his wife to be?
Asad has a long way to go before he is ready for the biggest relationship of his life.
The first step towards his readiness starts with trust. He needs to trust himself before he can learn to trust Zoya. He needs to trust that these feelings he has for Zoya are not wrong; they are real and the day he accepts his own feelings will be the day, he will accept Zoya whole heartedly.
I hate to say this, but at this point, I do want a physical separation between Asad and Zoya. I know they can never be apart emotionally but a physical separation would do wonders for their relationship.
I am sure, they will not break their engagement or enter into an alliance with another person but being apart from each other will make Asad (specially) realize that Zoya is his destiny and his destination. The more he fights with this reality, the more he will torture himself and Zoya. Asad and Zoya are a unit; so if one is tortured, the other can't remain at peace with themselves.
No mention of BR, Razia and Badi Bi- nothing new there. BR's chicken act will get her into trouble for sure. Allah ke darbar mein der hai, andher nahin hai
Kumkum Bhagya
