Divorce= Child’d feeling hurt - Page 2

Originally posted by: hawoo

First of all Im sorry all this happened to you, and I really dont want to debate this with a person whom it actually happened with becaus eeven if i say somthing accidently you might feel bad.

Hey don't do that. If I was going to be offended I would not have posted. 😛This is the DM and we are all here to debate. I promise I won't feel bad.

Originally posted by: MNMS

Putturani... U are very brave 👏 I can't say anything more than that! Thanks. It is not about being brave because my parents have been the best they can be. So have the rest of my family.😃

Regarding your personal life, its a true picture of a child ... unfortunately its true... its true.

But you actually know the reason why your parents didn't go for a divorce! 😊 Yes I know this but there are many other things I don't know. Sometimes I want to know and at other times I feel my ignorance will protect me.We Asians are really fed with this CRAPPY sentence "Don't leave a marriage EVER!!" Totally agree. Sometimes you just need to let go.I ask why? So do I.Because of financial dependence? Or this Asian leaving a marriage taboo and the society pressure... or what ... ???I think it is a combination of everything.😭 Somebody told me once "Its awful to live in a bad marriage, but to take step for a divorce you need immense strenght" Very well said. It takes immense courage which unfortunetaly few people have or even if they do they refuse to use it.😭

Alright .. all the ladies of south asian countries think their identity belongs to their husbands... TRUE... BUT WHERE ARE YOU?? YOUR identity? WHO are YOU? What are you? Explore yourself ... you are so precious that you don't need a worthless marriage to hang on. Here I am speaking like a completely detached party cuz this attitude doesn't really apply in my situation but yes. Even in our serials these women just hold on for no reason whatsoever. It may be weakness or a genuine hope that things will owrk out - or a deep love for the other person.

Back to you Putturani... i think its the best that you face your parents and tell them that please decide something... i know .. im giving a suggestion that requires a lot of bravely, tact, maturity, sensitivity and understanding of the situation. But still... how long would your mother or father go with this. I know .. uncertainity is probably far most disastrous than a tragic incident, Uncertainity is a constant pain. But i believe that children are the only one who can take a step ahead.. either for a patch-up .. or a divorce...

Welll, honestly I don't want to add fat into the fire. I don't want things to worsen. I don't want unpleasent things to come up to the fore. Cowardly I know but still...

You are 100% correct though. I agree with every word you said. But it is difficult.

Sorry for going overboard ... but i just couldn't resist after reading your post, Putturani.. Many GOD bless you every happiness in your life. You are Very Brave 👏 You didn't go overboard - I did. Thank you so much MNMS, your post was really touching.😭I am glad to know that people do understand. Thank you so much. I don't deserve it. But let God give you every happiness too. In fact, let God give everyone happiness. The world would be a much better place.

Originally posted by: del_geo

i don't know why some parents don't understand or think abt their child. i know sum children who hav this problem n when they come to school they tend to be very moody, sad, inactive, don't concentrate, back in everything n they r like totally not in this world. people like me notice that. if i can notice such things, how come the parents don't notice this about their children? i think its better to not hav parents than having parents who fight, quarrel n spoil ur life.
childhood is the time that everyone enjoys n hav fun. its the most precious time and these parents are just spoiling it!

I know what you mean but we cannot blame the parents either. It is not their fault (mostly) that things started to go wrong. Even if it is, we can't blame them as their hearts would also be breaking as much as their children's. Yes, in some cases, like adultry, the erring parent can be blamed. But not always.

As for children who are affected by divorce/separation; well it is all upto them how they handle it. I became more moody, arguementative, rude etc. but I did not go overboard. I was never too bad. So it is all upto the induvidual.

Ummm...pardon me for asking this but you seem to be quite passionate about this issue. Has someone you know been affected? Again, I am really, really sorry for asking this.

Originally posted by: Desi Pride

Yes the child is most affected when there's a separation. But it think its better the get a divorce then livig with your paretns who cant stand eachother. Relationships always get more complicated wen a child is involved and needs to be taken care of very gently. I think children will get affected no matter what in this situation...parents need to explain it to their kids carefully, so they understand why it happened or is going happen such a divorce. psychaitrist sessions dont help. if two ppl are rly unhappy together...there is no way the child will be happy in that home.

oh n tep parents...well no one can rly ever accept them...most of the time they HATE the step parent...but their are cases when an understanding is reached

I second that!