Posted:
{Suffocation}
"No, it's ok. Seriously, I'm fine," she brushed away his attempts at helping her get up. She held onto the frame of the stretcher as if her life depended upon it and got up, without his help. She used the stretcher's frame as her support for as long as she could until it became out of reach.
She glanced around to see if there was anything else that could possibly support her when she saw his hand extended in front of her face.
"You won't let me carry you, but at the least I can offer you some support."
Support? Was Mr. Khan really talking about support?
"I believe you're a bit too late Mr. Khan," Zoya said looking at the wheelchair the nurse brought in for her. But he knew she wasn't talking about the wheelchair.
"You're... you're going to be in a wheelchair from now on?" He asked keeping his eyes on the ground.
"Don't get so dramatic Mr. Khan, this is just to bring me to the bathroom. I'm a bit weak right now as you may have seen." She remarked before the nurse helped her sit down.
He couldn't help but notice that the life, that glow that used to light up her face was... gone...
Was he responsible for it? Did his harsh words finally break her down... to a point of no return?
But didn't he want that? Didn't he want her to be lifeless, opinionless, and soulless?
Now that he put it that way it seemed a bit more harsh, but ultimately if she became the way he felt was ideal than these three words were in inevitable.
He watched the wheelchair roll off until it was out of sight and then walked back into the room.
"She's just sick. And when people are sick they tend to get a bit strange," he muttered to himself trying hard to console the guilt that started to build within him.
But was it just guilt?
"Excuse me Mr. Khan," the doctor walked into the room, "I need you to sign some papers for me," she handed him the clipboard full of papers.
"Yeah sure," he spoke as he glanced through the paper.
Relationship with Patient
For some reason he didn't cringe this time because being called her husband didn't bug him so much. He continued reading.
[X] Brother
WHAT?
"Excuse me doctor, I er... I think you've marked it wrong here," He pointed to the wrongly checked box.
"Oh... I'm sorry. So you're her uncle?"
"No!" He almost shouted, "No, I'm her..." he paused, "...her husband."
"I am her husband," He finally said it all as one statement sounding as sure as possible.
"Oh alright, let me get that reprinted for you and I'll be right back," the doctor took the clipboard back in her hands.
What was that?
Why was he expecting "Husband" to be checked? I mean brother should have been fine. After all she is like a sister to Najma and he was Najma's brother.
But there was something about being called her brother than didn't feel... right?
Maybe the truth was that somewhere deep down he liked them being mistaken as a couple...
He turned to leave the room to get some fresh air when he saw that she was right by the door and by the look on her face, he could tell she saw everything.
"I... woh... The fact that we didn't have the same last name could have been questionable so I just... I mean most married people have the same last name too but they could assume you didn't change your last name after marriage... not that we got married that is, this was just for..." he stopped when he realized he was rambling.
Damnit!
She said nothing but rather just got up from her wheelchair and slowly, her weak form made it back to the bed "You don't need to justify your actions Mr. Khan, well at least not to me..."
There was something in the way she said that, that made it feel more like a cold taunt.
His actions didn't make her wonder? She didn't care?
He pushed the stool next to the bed and sat down. She lay on her bed as if in deep thought and he didn't know what overcame him at that moment but he felt the need to grasp onto her hand and utter the three words that were long overdue,
"I... I am sorry... I know I should've stopped them from the very first second but I just..."
"It's ok," she cut him off.
"Huh?"
"I said it's ok. Don't worry about it," She looked at him and tried to seem genuine.
He should feel lighter now right? The guilt should have vanished no?
Well it did. But now a stranger feeling took control of his body. Something that made guilt seem much easier of an emotion.
Something that made her quick forgiveness hurt, beyond limits.
Was he not important to even hold a grudge against?
"Zoya... Are you fi..."
"Mr. Khan you don't have to worry about me. Please stop increasing the burden of your favors that I'll have to live with for the rest of my life."
"Zoya what are you ta..."
"Mr. Khan," brushing away his attempts at helping her, she lifted her weak self to lean against the headboard of the bed, "I'm sorry for being the reason for all your miseries and near death experiences. I'm sorry for my misconduct and bad behavior. I'm sorry for everything. Thank you, for giving me shelter in your home, it may not seem like it but it was gesture much appreciated,"
He was left in awe. The words he always wanted to hear her say for some reason felt like knifes, each one piercing through his body one by one. Slowly killing him from within.
"Why?" was all he could manage to say considering the turmoil he was going through that very moment.
"Huh?"
"Why are saying this?" he looked into her eyes and questioned her.
"Because I don't want any hard feelings between us after I leave."
"I don't understand,"
"I called Jiju, he should be picking me up from here by tomorrow. Once again Mr. Asad Khan thank you, for everything. And if you can, forgiv..."
But the words seemed to make no sense to his ears anymore. He was stuck on "picking me up from here by tomorrow".
She was leaving. Tomorrow. Forever.
And this time he had no reason to chase after her in the pretext of responsibility.
It felt like he was running out of air.
He was suffocating.
Part 2 "Indifference": Page 4
***
My first piece of writing in this forum.
LOL. I don't know I think I have a knack for writing stuff with the theme of guilt in it.
I tried to add a teensy bit of humor with a meaning to this (the bro thing).
I hope you liked it. If not tamatars and (blue) champals are welcomed whole heartedly.
-Shweta
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Cricket
