I wasn't going to continue this but I did, and it's only for you guys <3
{Indifference}
Suffocation: Part II
"Mr. Khan? Mr. Kha-"
"Zoya...?"
"Mr. Khan are you alright? Mr. Kh..."
But he wasn't paying attention, all he wanted to do was lay there in her arms. It just felt so right. The way her face only a few inches above his, the way her hair fell on him acting like a silk black curtain, shielding them from the rest of the world. And her eyes... had they always been so big and beautiful? How could he have not noticed it before? One could get lost in them and give up on all hopes of ever being found, they were gorgeous.
"Mr. Khan!!!!" she finally shook him out of his trance.
"Huh... what?"
"Are you alright?"
"What do you mean?" he questioned when his conscious mind finally realized that he was in her lap, engulfed in her arms, and on the floor.
"I don't know, I asked if you knew which airline company would have the best prices for last minute tickets and then you fainted. Are you alright?"
Everything came back to him. Oh how he wanted to forget all of this like a bad dream.
"Yeah, I'm... I'm fine," he lied, "You didn't have to get down though, you're already pretty weak I don't need you to get any wor..."
"What part of I don't need you're concern do you not get?" She left his face and got up and weakly sat back on her bed.
Why was she being so cold? Why the austerity? It infuriated him beyond what words could describe.
"Well the fact that you left your bed to help me obligated me to care!" He spat out words in anger.
He regret uttering them the second they came out.
"I free you from any obligations Mr. Khan," She replied trying to hiding the obvious sense of hurt in her voice.
"Zoya I didn't mean..."
"I'm kind of tired. If you give me the permission, I would like to rest now." She cut him off without even sparing him a glance.
Did she know what effect her apathy was having on him? He was sure dying would be less painful.
"Of course, and thanks for helping me out I really appreciate it."
"You've saved my life more than enough times Mr. Khan, and even though you almost let me die once, you still saved me. You could have just left me to die but despite your immense hatred for me and everything I stand for you were generous and kind enough to save my life. I'm grateful Mr. Khan and I was just returning the favor although this was a bit less extreme." She reiterated his words clearing the assumption she knew he was beginning to make.
And that indirect taunt, it was true. And he'll never forgive himself for it. And immense hatred? Isn't that what was always there? But then why did these exact words feel absolutely unfit to describe what he felt at that moment.
Knock Knock.
The turned their attention to the nurse by the door.
"There's a call for the patient. From New York."
"Coming," Zoya said as she made her way back down from the bed.
"Getting up and down every two seconds isn't good for you," He mumbled to her.
"I asked you to stop acting like you give a shit Mr. Khan," she almost shouted before he finally wrapped his arm around her waist in frustration.
"Itna ghussa kyun Zoya! Itna ghussa kyun?" He finally asked the question that was eating him alive.
"Ghussa?"
"Yes Zoya ghussa! Why are you acting so indifferent out of anger Zoya! Why!"
"I'm sorry Mr. Khan," she struggled to free herself despite knowing that it was of no use, "I'm sorry to break it to you that the world doesn't revolve around you. At least not my world! Why do you think you have any sort of effect on me? I haven't given you the right to get me angry or hurt me! I'm indifferent because YOU MAKE NO DIFFERENCE TO ME MR. KHAN not because I'm angry! There is no hidden feeling that is driving this reaction out of me and the sooner you realize that the better it is for the both of us!"
"No effect? Lies! Nothing but bullshit!" He finally dared to say whilst he tightened his grip on her waist jerking her forward.
"Allah miyan what's..." she started but than hushed herself only adding to the pain. "Look Mr. Khan I really don't care if you believe me or not! I'm just listening to your requests! You reminded me back at your home that I'm a guest and I should behave like one! And that's what I'm doing! And now you have a problem with that too? You are so confused Mr. Khan!"
She was right... he was. On so many levels.
His words,"Aap mehmaan hai, toh mehmaan ki tarah hi rahiye!", came back to him. Why did he even say them in the first place?
He didn't know what to say to her anymore.
"Mrs. Zoya Asad Khan you're call!" They heard the nurse call out from the hall.
Mrs. Zoya Asad Khan, it sounded so beautiful together didn't it?
"I think you should let go of me now," She sarcastically "suggested".
"Or..." he bent down, "I could just do this, it's more convenient don't you think?" he said as he picked her up.
"I thought I told you to..."
"I don't make a difference so why does the thought of me picking you up make you so uncomfortable? Are you too scared you won't be able to control you're flustered heart?" he asked, using her words against her.
"In you're dreams. Anyways I don't think it would be decent to keep my jiju waiting any longer."
"As you wish," he couldn't help but smile observing her cheeks flush with a light crimson shade.
As they walked out they couldn't help but notice everyone's eyes on them. They even heard a few whistles behind them to which he for some reason smirked rather than infuriate. He felt her burrow her head in his chest, someone was shy.
"Hello jiju?" she picked up the phone.
He stood there with her in his arms watching her talk as if it was the most fascinating thing in the world.
He knew something was wrong with him, but for some reason, right now, in this moment, he didn't care. He just wanted to enjoy whatever this feeling rather than investigate it.
But after today, after this very second, he knew 2 things for sure.
1. She mattered him. Zoya Farooqi the only girl that managed to get under his skin mattered to him. Her emotions, her feelings, her pain, her smile, everything mattered they all impacted him in ways nothing ever has before.
2. He screwed up. Big Time.
***
I hope you liked it!
I wasn't going to continue this there were a few heartfelt comments that melted me (I'm a softie I know) and so I did.
-Shweta
Pati Patni Aur Panga
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
