Posted:
Just found out there is a lot of talk in the Forum about Anandi's inexpressive behavior and the way she sends confusing messages to Shiv. Apparently she claims to have moved on and yet does not show any romantic gestures towards Shiv. But does moving on necessarily mean falling madly in love?
Let's look at Anandi's situation. She has been severely abused and brutally hurt by the man who was not only her husband but was also her best friend, childhood companion, confidante and virtually the only man she has ever known. The impact of that failed relationship is massive, and it did take a toll on Anandi's Emotional Quotient. When such things happen, a part of your innocence is lost forever. She did take her time to come out of Jagya's shadow. But when she did, there was no turning back. She had locked his memories and thrown the keys away, moved on with her life and was very clear that she doesn't want him back. But does that mean she was ready for another relationship? NO.
It is at this point that she met Shiv. Perhaps things would have been different if the attraction between the two had developed naturally without the interference of external pressure. But that was not the case: she was pushed into a premature commitment by Dadisa's plans and her dying mother's wish. It was a love marriage for Shiv, but it was an arranged alliance for Anandi. It was not yet love.
Now people who have done arranged marriages will understand what I mean here. When you agree to an alliance through arranged marriage, it's unlikely you will fall in love with the man instantly. There are no fluttering of hearts, no butterflies in the stomach, no going weak on the knees, no romantic spells. What you have instead is an admiration for the man you have chosen as your life partner, respect and trust in him, attraction to some extent and an instinctive feeling that tells you you will be happy with this man. It's these emotions that turn into love gradually------and sometimes, they don't, ending in loveless unsuccessful arranged marriages.
For Shiv, Anandi is the woman he loves. But for Anandi, Shiv is a prospective arranged marriage alliance. She has chosen Shiv with her reason, not with her emotions, and it's absurd to expect Anandi will get all gooey with Shiv at this stage. The transition from reason to emotion has already began for her, but she needs more time. It doesn't happen instantly for first time couples too, let alone a woman who has been so severely scarred in the past. Just because there's a hot hunk around, ready to lay his life for you, does not mean you fall in love madly. Yes you are happy to have him as your life partner, but you don't necessarily go weak in the knees for him, not yet. What Anandi has done is exactly one should do to one's fiance---be transparent to him, share everything to avoid misunderstanding, assure that she is happy and is looking forward to her future him him, and take care of the things he likes.
Yes, there's a couple of things Anandi could have done differently. She could have kept Shiv out of the whole Jagya business and her pains of still struggling with his presence. She could have stopped acting wife to Jagya, at least in front of Shiv. However, I guess she was under the impression that it's best to keep things transparent with Shiv; and when she acted out for Jagya, she was under the impression that she had Shiv's consent, and that both were clear about it. Hence her outburst today---where she again honestly spoke out her position regarding him. SHE IS NOT YET MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM, but she has consciously chosen him as a life partner.
The sooner Shiv understands it, the better for him. In fact when he agreed to marry Anandi even after knowing that the marriage was for her dying mother's wish, he signed for that deal. So, he has to reconcile with the fact that Anandi will take some time to reciprocate his feelings to the extent he does, or worse never fall in love with him at all. Is it unfair to him? Maybe. But then it's his choice, and it's the choice and risk hundreds of other boys take when they go home and tell their parents that they are in love with a girl and they take an arranged marriage rishta to the girl's house. The girl may agree to marriage---but falling in love madly? That may take a while. 😛
Let's look at Anandi's situation. She has been severely abused and brutally hurt by the man who was not only her husband but was also her best friend, childhood companion, confidante and virtually the only man she has ever known. The impact of that failed relationship is massive, and it did take a toll on Anandi's Emotional Quotient. When such things happen, a part of your innocence is lost forever. She did take her time to come out of Jagya's shadow. But when she did, there was no turning back. She had locked his memories and thrown the keys away, moved on with her life and was very clear that she doesn't want him back. But does that mean she was ready for another relationship? NO.
It is at this point that she met Shiv. Perhaps things would have been different if the attraction between the two had developed naturally without the interference of external pressure. But that was not the case: she was pushed into a premature commitment by Dadisa's plans and her dying mother's wish. It was a love marriage for Shiv, but it was an arranged alliance for Anandi. It was not yet love.
Now people who have done arranged marriages will understand what I mean here. When you agree to an alliance through arranged marriage, it's unlikely you will fall in love with the man instantly. There are no fluttering of hearts, no butterflies in the stomach, no going weak on the knees, no romantic spells. What you have instead is an admiration for the man you have chosen as your life partner, respect and trust in him, attraction to some extent and an instinctive feeling that tells you you will be happy with this man. It's these emotions that turn into love gradually------and sometimes, they don't, ending in loveless unsuccessful arranged marriages.
For Shiv, Anandi is the woman he loves. But for Anandi, Shiv is a prospective arranged marriage alliance. She has chosen Shiv with her reason, not with her emotions, and it's absurd to expect Anandi will get all gooey with Shiv at this stage. The transition from reason to emotion has already began for her, but she needs more time. It doesn't happen instantly for first time couples too, let alone a woman who has been so severely scarred in the past. Just because there's a hot hunk around, ready to lay his life for you, does not mean you fall in love madly. Yes you are happy to have him as your life partner, but you don't necessarily go weak in the knees for him, not yet. What Anandi has done is exactly one should do to one's fiance---be transparent to him, share everything to avoid misunderstanding, assure that she is happy and is looking forward to her future him him, and take care of the things he likes.
Yes, there's a couple of things Anandi could have done differently. She could have kept Shiv out of the whole Jagya business and her pains of still struggling with his presence. She could have stopped acting wife to Jagya, at least in front of Shiv. However, I guess she was under the impression that it's best to keep things transparent with Shiv; and when she acted out for Jagya, she was under the impression that she had Shiv's consent, and that both were clear about it. Hence her outburst today---where she again honestly spoke out her position regarding him. SHE IS NOT YET MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM, but she has consciously chosen him as a life partner.
The sooner Shiv understands it, the better for him. In fact when he agreed to marry Anandi even after knowing that the marriage was for her dying mother's wish, he signed for that deal. So, he has to reconcile with the fact that Anandi will take some time to reciprocate his feelings to the extent he does, or worse never fall in love with him at all. Is it unfair to him? Maybe. But then it's his choice, and it's the choice and risk hundreds of other boys take when they go home and tell their parents that they are in love with a girl and they take an arranged marriage rishta to the girl's house. The girl may agree to marriage---but falling in love madly? That may take a while. 😛
Bollywood
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Mangal Lakshmi
