Male infertility... a Taboo??

In our male dominated society (🤢) .... If a male child gets hurt... his mother/ grandma/sister usually say "Don't cry.. u are a male ..u r brave ... if u cry u are not brave!!!" .. Now she is slow poisoning his mind for being more "Manly"(😡)..... Wht happens if later in his life he faces a situation where he is declared infertile??

Scientific stats have shown that among a group (couples) of 100 people facing such a problem.. 35% infertility lies in Men... 30% in Women... and the rest is from both i.e. both are involved ... So broadly speaking nearly 70%+ men are infertile... no jokes ... it is a fact!!!!

Now let's be quite clear... Men usually don't welcome the idea of going to a doctor themselves in such cases and always blame their wives .. along with that the mother-in-law (MIL) of the lady plays the villain role in most cases ... the society also joins the MIL in this role ..at diff. functions the daughter-in-law is the gossip target..MIL is calling her names(which is causing further harmonal imbalance leading to complications at the treatment, if going on) and at times MIL pushes her dear son to remarry for that "Nasl ko burhana hai" .... and include everyone and everything else here. ..making the life of that poor lady worse and unbearable day by day where the fact is that his man is responsible for this situation😡... In south-asian societies .. Men, if tired of situation and then dare to go to the doctor and discuss the situation,It's a quite late decision.. i mean ... they always "Think" that they never can be infertile or can have any probs with them ... so they say "Naah !! its not me .. im a MAn ... it's not me" .......so on so on... That's why i called it a taboo in the header .. it is a Taboo!!

When he receives the shock of his life... then the society comes blaming the man..calling him names.and in such cases .. sometimes the wife ends up for a divorce .. or usually if there is mutual understanding they adopt a child.. here's another prob.. in most cases .. the couple gets a biological child in few years!! Doctors say that due to relief from anxiety and stress the couple gets the harmonal balance back..along with that they have the feeling of doing a great job in the eyes of God for adopting a child....But then the prob starts betweek the biological and the adopted child..another issue arises..

These are the urban situations .. i wonder wht happens in rural areas!!..even worse i think!!

A hidden aspect is our negative attitude too ... if changed to positive then i think that this taboo can be broken..

Ur comments..

Mariam its true that for men its a big insult on their manhood if they are to ever face with infertilty. But its just as insulting for a woman who faces infertilty who feels less as a woman. In our society the women are made to feel worse about this situation than a man is made to feel. Being the family's fault ofcourse in most cases.

As for your talking about adoption, and then the couple conceiving biologically, that is a a VERY SMALL PERCENTAGE!!! Studies say that happens only 15% of the times.( as done with adoption agencies). And also parents who adopt don't look at it as a "great job"!

As for your comment " .But then the prob starts of the real and adopted child..another issue arises.."
Firstly, the adopted child is not "unreal"....he/she is just as real...not a fake.
Secondly, there are usualy no problems with real and adopted child. I am not sure what you mean. Or what sorts of situations you are talking of.

No no Aparna di .. im talking if such situation arises then the parents sometimes do discriminate between the adopted child and their biological child... I believe that in most cases this may happen.. Definitely they have adopted a child becoz they lost all hope of ever having their own biological child... And when they have a baby, they Might forget the adopted one.. may be some couples don't.. but im taking the other possibility..

Of course the adopted child is as real as the 2nd one, its not a fake.. i was talking abt the difference parents might create between the two... Doctors say that there is some sort of Harmonal sequences with the mother and the father on having a biological child.. Probably nature has made some sort of arrangement in this way for the parents to have that parental touch for the baby.. Yes there are many good people who see both the children in the same manner... actually this has happened in my family... It was my mom's mamo(uncle) who was having infertility problem(It is an early 1950's story).. and they had the biological child after 12 yrs ... in the mean while they adopted another child from the family who had parents already .. but due to the couple's pain and anguish they had let them have their own child... my Great Grandma (The MIL of my mom's mami) was a very humble & wise person... people even came with other marriage proposals for the man.. but my Great Grandma said : "I will literally break the legs of those people who ever tried to say even a single word for my daughter-in-law or if tried to bring any proposal for my son... May God bless My son and daughter-in-law's marriage ..Who are u people to poke their nose in Allah's will.. If they have a child in their destiny.. they will have it..."..So when they conceived their biological child.. the adopted child went his home... He wasn't that much affected as it was a family and he never felt awkward... but wht if this is the case of some other couple who's adopted child is faced with a situation like this??😔😕

Mariam most parents who adopt but by chance have a biological child these days do not discriminate between their children. I don't say it doesn't happen, but then parents even discriminate between their biological children some times(girl- boy, more intelligent-less bright etc) . So the possibilities are as un- common or common as that.

But about Some Doctors saying that their are harmonal imbalances- balances thats utter nonsense! As those are probablities. Its like even if they didn't adopt maybe they were meant to have one after that certain period. I haven't read any such studies. And like i said the chances are just 15% or so. Thats literally just a matter of chance. A mere myth !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😊

As for your grand mothers stand on things, due respects to that lady. She must be a very fine woman.😊