Bee's OS's/SS's (New OS 24/02) - Page 5

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P.Kamaljit.Sean thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#41
omg PiA one shot 😍

thank u soo much for PiA OS 😍

that was very nice/awesome OS Bee
I loved it
PiA OS made my day! thankz

looking forward to more of PiA OS/FF from u now 😆
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Posted: 14 years ago
#42

Originally posted by: nandini27

i know u talking abt me hmph!!! >P but yess!! gud u made this...otherwise i wud stick to wat i told earlier *tongue* no matter wat BEEEJIII!!! hahaha....

but dis part made it eternal..u agree or not...thts my decision and conclusion...hmph!!! and yaa...wen can i see the rest of ur one shots plss 🤣🤣🤣i know m very ver greedy!!!

and yaa i love premeer.....sigh!

Hmm... wow, you guys don't call me Beeji much anymore, thank god *rolls eyes* And you were one of the main reasons I wrote the second bit anyway, I was perfectly happy with the first only 😛 And I know I ish ebil! 😃

Originally posted by: aishwaryagayen

hello bee
i dont know ur name sorry

i loved this small story u know so eternal and bounding showing how they r made meant and how they live for each other

no juttas chappal well some tragic endings well i wont considered it tragic as it ahppiness they r together
are really good to read something different than ghisa pitta drama loved it

and i hope the story ended right

that was beautifull


love
aishwarya gayen

Hey, everyone calls me Bee, only. Thanks for the comment, glad you liked it... 😊

Originally posted by: -BlackSky-

Beautifully written

It was just amazing. It was tragic that both Prem and Heer died but at least they are together now

Thank you 😃 Yup, PH are together, as they should be. Like my siggy says, Premeer are one *sigh*

Originally posted by: ...Nikhita...

omg.....bee....

truly the eternal love story.....
so now premeer'll be together in heaven......
very very touching part.....specially gayatri's story.....
keep writing!

Thanks! 😊 Yup... premeer are together in life and in death, that's just who they are...
😆 yes, it is indeed yours. Unreserve bhi kar hi lo 😛 Though I'm not going to say much, cuz I'm not the best at unreserving posts. 😛
-Bee- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#43

Originally posted by: nitzi

-reserved-

before commenting in detail jus wanna tell thnk god prem too died🤣

Chalo... iss 'reserved' ki unreserved hone ke chances bahut kam hai, I know 😆

Originally posted by: -fsn-

hiii bee
firstly sorry didn't get time to edit my last comment
it was sooooooooooo beautifully written
thats great that prem also died
that was soo premeerish
totall eternal love
in first part it was awesome how u show premeer relation to preet
now premeer 'll always be together
i think for now this comment is enough dont have time
do write more
luv
Fatima

It's okie... 😆 Thanks for the comment! 😃 Yup, Premeer were the epitome of eternal love!

Originally posted by: angel82

huh good u killed him too...poor thing was suffering living without heer...i loved the way gayathri narrated their love story...do write more..would love to read...

i'm mostly here , but dont see u much on the forum...chota prem's fine , started walking...oye ur siggies are soo disturbing...two hotties...

Thanks for the comment! 😃 I'm replying to this so late, that I have no idea which siggies you were talking about, but I think it may have been damon/something TVD-related 😆

Originally posted by: samrocking30

very very nice and touchy

Thanks for the comment! 😊 Glad you liked it!

Originally posted by: amu142

am so proud of u!!

am happy that u killed both of them...and Meher's last words were soooooo...*sigh*...heartbreaking...but true! who says u dont know Premeer well enuf,...they need to wash their mouths with soap!

Thanks! 😃 Lol... well, now they were just mad that Heer was dead, while Prem was alive, if they hadn't poked me, I wouldn't have written the second part. 😆 Glad you liked it! 😊

Originally posted by: aaminaman

no but the story was great simply great how mcould someone write such a nice story within few lines and that too convey the story so nicely it was fantastic of you

Thanks so much! 😃 Premeer are the only ones that have gotten me to write... 😆 I give full credit to them... 😆

Originally posted by: anishajk99

HEY DEAR.........I JUST READ UR OS AND ITS SEQUEL...........LOVED IT..........UR WAY OF WRITING AND EXPRESSING THE FEELING IS GREAT..........HOPE TO SEE MORE OS OR FF FROM UR SIDE......

Thanks! 😃 I took a small break, but I'll be posting more SS's now... 😊

Originally posted by: Ashlesha09

Beautiful

You know Bee I m one one of the most talktive reader who can go on n on but after reading ur shot I m just at lost of words, for the first time i have no words to describe in my words. And especially the last sentence refreshed memories of eternal love which was potrayed through these two charatcters actually used to.
Just one word only : Beautiful
Ashlesha

Thank you so much! 😃 Yup, I decided to use the last sentence as the title also, because it shows the eternal and everlasting love that these two people shared. *sigh*

Originally posted by: iditri

loved it.....AWESOME......

Thanks! 😃 Glad you liked it!
😆😛
Thanks to everyone who commented, and pushed the 'like' button. I know I'm replying after a loooong time, but I was completely swamped with college work. Anyway, thank you so much for the comments, and I'm going to put up a new SS now...
SongsOf_Silence thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#44
okay oopss my bad 🤣
Edited by ...Hiba... - 14 years ago
-Bee- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: NIMMY

plzzzzz more PIA os..........

Well, posting a PiA SS soon... 😃 Thanks for commenting 😊

Originally posted by: ...Nikhita...

sweet os!

Anurag-pihu....a new version of Prem-heer😆
a lovely birthday gift!

😆 Yup, a 'newer' upgraded version of PH... 😆 Thanks! 😃

Originally posted by: --Mehak--

Hey Bee!How are you!😃First of all, I love you for doing the inaugrations of PiA writings!😆🤗I was eagerly waiting to read one on them and considering that you took a long time to write one, it was worth the wait dear!😃 It was a treat to read it Bee!Though it was short but everything about it was so perfect and flawless, To the point!Beautiful description to be precise!⭐️⭐️ I loved the sassy dialogues and yeah the fact that they ditched their partners!🤣Such a PiA thing to do!😆Another thing I adored about this oneshot was beautiful and glamorous Pihu in her ravishing gown and Mr.Irresisitable!😍 Oh the title itself was so dreamy!😍 And the ending cracked me up!🤣 The confused looks on the couple's face and than how he announced themselves as the couple, yet they didnt even know their names😆Good job!👍🏼 Overall, everything about it was just fantastic!Amazing yaar!👏👏I could easily relate this one to Pia and your previous one to Premeer!Thats was I liked about it!There was a clear difference!Keep it up!Ill be looking forward to more of your oneshots!😃

Luv, Mehak

Awww... thanks sooo much! 😃 Yup, I thought the characters in this SS suited PiA more than PH, there's a marked difference. 😆 The whole thing was kidna random, I was sort of flighty and bored when I wrote it... Yup... ditching their partners is a PiA thing to do, no? 😆

Originally posted by: ...Hiba...

Hey Bee! 🤗 Me ish here! 😃Firstly the OS is really very good yar! Aweome work! Star i was really impressed by your writing style.. the vocab that u used and then the way u wrote so concisely.. like the way u wrote everything by not going into ounces of details and just explaining the desired thing in a sentence rather then taking up paragraph's .. it was very commendable and that was one thing that i loved the most..... thats what i am myself learning to do😆.. writing concisely as i have a habit of writing a lot of description L: 😆 anyway coming back to the OS.. i loved the whole idea! I could srsly imagine a lavish ball with men and woman lingering on the dance floor, the women in silk gowns the men in tuxedo's *sigh* i love that era u know.. the propriety and the aristocratic circles, the rakes, the bold and beautiful ladies Day Dreaming... it was a wonderful world! 😆 i loved loved and loved the general idea! The dialogues were great! i was practically jealous at some of the words that used! Loved the whole deal and more than that there was something else too that i loved and i think you know i meanROFLloved the entire thing and i know what you meant about the characters being more PiA then Premeer... i also think that the characters of my OS were more PiA then Premeer.. but i thought nandu would prefer Premeer more then Pia and i srsly cant imagine pihu saying Mr. Ganguly u gave me a fright😆 the surname repulses me for no real reason😛😆Juneja is cooler or lets say better😆! coming back to the OS ur a fab writer yarClapClap! looking forward to more of yur work and yeah i did read ur previous OS of eternal love...it was indeed very touchingDay Dreamingloved the eternal part! keep up the great work! looking forward to an FF now 😛😃 and i want it! made: em so cming after you with my demand *evil smile*

Love Hiba

Thanks! 😃 Well, I don't love Anurag's surname, but I'll live with it... After all, I'm bengali too, na? 😛 Thanks, be it PH or PiA, I always think that destiny or the fate part plays a big part in their love story. Funny, no? I thought the setting was perfect, straight out of a fairy-tale kinds, contrasted to how PiA actually feel about it... 😆 Anyway, thanks for commenting, yaar! *hug*

Originally posted by: -Jyo-

It was hilarious, i loved this new pairing anurag and pihu. I think ur the 1ST one to pair them. Do cm up with sm more ideas.

Thanks for liking it! 😊 I'm going to post a new PiA SS soon!

Originally posted by: -Pooji-

omg PiA one shot 😍

thank u soo much for PiA OS 😍

that was very nice/awesome OS Bee
I loved it
PiA OS made my day! thankz

looking forward to more of PiA OS/FF from u now 😆

Thank you so much! 😃 Yup, posting a new PiA SS right now... 😊
Edited by -Bee- - 14 years ago
-Bee- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#46

Originally posted by: ...Hiba...

okay oopss my bad 🤣

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
That's it 😉
SongsOf_Silence thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#47

Originally posted by: -Bee-

🤣
That's it 😉



🤣 thank u! 🤣
-Bee- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#48
Okay, so I'm back with a PiA OS once again. I had this idea AGES ago, but I finally got around to writing it down only a couple of weeks ago. So... here you go...
Tere Naam
Not again.

Anita Ganguly gazed despondently at the door to his room, and clenched the newspaper folded tight in her fist. She had been assigned to his ward again. She did not know why they assumed she would want to see her brother in that state. Why she would want to listen to him. Why she would want to see what her laughing, joking brother had become.

She took a deep breath, and unclenched her fist. She blamed the newspaper article for making her overtly emotional. Taking a step towards the door, she let the newspaper fall silently to the floor.

She shrugged off the ward boy, who was telling her cheerfully that it was one of Anurag's better days.

He was quiet today.
She plastered a smile on her face, and walked in briskly. 'Well, I see you've run out of energy from yesterday. Good. You know you should try to be on your best behaviour... ' Anita stopped short. He was smiling.

'Anita!' Anita froze, barely breathing, before she realised he was facing the wall. 'Anita! Hurry up!...

'Anita! Anita! Will you please hurry up? As the only family I've got left in this world, I would think that you'd be a bit more excited about my marriage!' Anita poked her head out of the door with a scowl. Her face cleared at the sight of Pihu standing next to Anurag, swatting his arm.

'Shouldn't you be at your own house, Pihu?'

'Well, I would be. If I wasn't so busy convincing your brother that today will go fine.' Anurag's cheerful smile slipped a bit as he shared a glance with Pihu. 'Let's not get our hopes up. Your father didn't seem too happy when he saw us... I mean... I'm an employee...' Pihu shook her head, and turned back to Anita.

'I don't mean to leave you all alone, but I think your brother needs to go out for a while. We'll be back in half an hour. Be ready by then, then we'll head out to my house,' Anurag grinned ruefully, and slid his arm through Pihu's. 'What would I do without her?' He asked his little sister over Pihu's head.

'You wouldn't survive,' she fired back, rolling her eyes...

She had been wrong. He had survived.

But, that had been the last time he had recognised her as his sister. The Pihu and Anurag she knew, had not come back from that drive.

'Pihu?' He had turned to the side, undoubtedly looking at his Pihu. 'Pihu,' his voice had grown hoarse from his yelling last night, but he uttered the word like a prayer. The smile that lit up his face was more than she could take. He looked like a dying man who had seen a reason to live. And all he was staring at was the cold bare stone in his room in the mental ward.

Something inside Anita snapped. The article. Her brother. She had tried so many times to explain to him. She felt the words slip out, 'Pihu's not dead! She's getting marrie...' This time her voice was forced to choke to a stop, as Anurag looked wildly around the room. With horror, she realised he had only heard one word of her sentence. She looked on helplessly as she saw the familiar pain and anguish creep up on his face.

... Anurag lifted his guilt laden eyes to his sister, looking through her, instead of at her. 'Pihu's father... he told me... I saw... He said I killed my Pihu. I killed my Pihu. I killed my...

Anita's heart clenched as she moved forward, trying to comfort her brother. But he withdrew from her outstretched arm, walking backwards until his back hit the hospital wall.

'I killed my Pihu, I killed my Pihu...'

Anita finally got close enough to him to shake him, but he continued mumbling, as he crouched down on the hospital floor...

This time Anita could not move a muscle as she saw Anurag in a half crouch on the ground. He rocked himself back and forth, and his whispers once again sent shivers down Anita's spine.

She dashed out of the room, trying to block out his voice. 'I killed my Pihu. I killed my Pihu,' Back and forth. Back and forth. Back and forth.

Closing the door loudly, she noticed the newspaper wedged underneath. Angrily, she pulled it up, nearly tearing it in the process. 'Steel giants merge companies, as their children get joined in holy matrimony,' Anita's eyes hardened, as she re-read the headlines for the umpteenth time that morning. It was the latest buzz in town. Shekhar Shastri's daughter, Pihu Shastri, was getting married, in what was bound to be the grandest wedding the city had ever seen. But Anita could not douse the disbelief that clouded her heart. She refused to believe this was her brother's Pihu.

She leaned her head back on the closed door. She had tried to tell her brother so many times that his Pihu wasn't dead. But Pihu's father had known exactly what he was doing when he had accused Anurag of killing her. Showing him her comatose form had been the last nail in the coffin. Shekhar Shastri's plan had destroyed their relationship, and along with it, it had destroyed Anurag Ganguly. Hatred and anger rippled through her as she remembered the cold eyes of the man who had reduced her brother a lonely room in a mental hospital.

She clenched her jaw. If her brother wouldn't listen to the truth, she would have to make him see the living proof. Pihu Shastri herself.

***************************************************************************
Neelima Shastri hesitated at her daughter's threshold. She felt wretchedly helpless as she gazed at her daughter's lifeless face. Pihu had been silent for a month, and the last word she had uttered was Anurag's name.

Pihu placed her hand on Anurag's, as his eyes remained fixed on the road. She brushed his hair off his forehead noting his furrowed brows, and sighed. They had come on the drive to take his mind off the meeting, but he was clearly still worried.

He immediately glanced up at her sigh, his eyes clouded with concern. He never liked it when his chirpy, bubbly Pihu was upset.

'This time it's your fault,' She shook her head, and continued despite his protests, 'Okay, so maybe it won't go well, but the worst that can happen is he refuses, and tries to get me married somewhere else. Do you really think that I would follow him mindlessly?'

Anurag shook his head solemnly, letting out a little sigh of defeat. 'No, of course not. I have full faith in you and in us. I just don't want any differences between you and your father because of me. I know the importance of family, Pihu. I would never want you to be without one,'

Pihu pouted, 'Fine. So, whatever happens today, from now on, you are my family,'

Anurag grinned as he clutched her hand tightly. 'That was a done deal, anyway. We'll face everything together. Fine, we'll sort out all the differences with your father soon,' His face relaxed, as he pulled her hand up to his mouth to place a gentle kiss on it. Pihu blushed lightly and glanced away from his adoring eyes to face the front, only to notice a truck barrelling towards them, the driver on the wrong side of the road.

'ANURAG!'

'Anurag...' Pihu stirred faintly, as she finally gained consciousness. Her condition was stable, but she had been in the hospital for days. Her eyes swept past her sombre parents, searching for the most important person in her life. Searching for Anurag.

'Mom? Where's Anurag? He's okay, right? This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't made him go out. He was worried we would be late. I should have listened to him. Oh, this is all my fault! He's alright, right? Mom, where's Anurag? Anurag? Anura...'

'He didn't make it,' Her father's cold voice put an abrupt stop to Pihu's cries. Her voice trailed away into nothingness, as she slumped against the wall. Shekhar Shastri's face did not have a trace of remorse for uttering the lie that shattered his daughter's soul, 'The sooner you accept that the better...' His job done, he walked out quickly, leaving his wife to deal with Pihu.

Pihu sat limply as her mother hugged her awkwardly. Her eyes stared blankly at the tube light on the far side of the room...

Neelima watched nervously as Pihu now stared steadily at the flame of the flickering candle before her. Ever since she had been discharged from the hospital, her husband had barely spared a glance in her direction. He had put all his time and money into organising her impending wedding. He was making sure that she was wedded into the wealthiest family in the city, and that her wedding would be remembered for days to come. If only he had given her some of his time.

Neelima sighed, and gently held her daughter by the shoulders, and helped her to stand. She started guiding her downstairs. It was time for her to get married.

****************************************************************************
Anita stood outside the Shastri's palatial home and tried to crane her neck around the security guards standing outside the entrance. She felt a wave of relief as Abhay Shastri glimpsed her through the crowd, 'Anita! Come in...' He waved off the guards, and ushered her inside. Pihu's brother, Abhay, was the only one in the family that seemed to possess some semblance of a heart. But he had no idea about what happened to his sister. He had been away at college, and Anita doubted that Shekhar had deigned to give all the details to his son.

'How have you been?' he broke her chain of thoughts. 'Fine,' she said in a clipped tone. 'Pihu's getting married,' It was a statement, not a question.

'Yea. I told Mom that we should wait,' Abhay looked uncomfortable, 'It's obvious she hasn't... recovered... She doesn't seem alive anymore. Not since she found out about Anurag's death...' Abhay's voice trailed off as Anita looked at him horror-struck. She nearly choked on her rage as she began pushing her way to the front of the crowd, to where Pihu was coming down the stairs.

'... she looks beautiful... '

'... Shastri Ji has made sure that his daughter gets the best...'

Anita finally broke through a gap in the crowd, and found herself face to face with Pihu. She stopped short. While Pihu Shastri looked resplendent in her bridal lehenga, the look in her eyes was one that Anita saw every day. It was the same look that Anurag carried with him to sleep. She let out a breath of disbelief. No. Surely...

Pihu's mother looked warily at Anita, blocking their path to the mandap. She then glanced nervously at her husband, who was pushing people aside to get to them, his face a rigid mask of anger. Even the guests had begun to prick up their ears, hoping to catch the latest gossip on one of the biggest industrialists in Kolkata.

'Excuse me, we have to...' Neelima started timidly, but she was cut off by Anita.

'Pihu? Pihu? Remember me?' Anita's voice was soft. She had spent too many years in the mental ward, trying to make her patients listen to her. 'Anurag's not...' After a month, Neelima heard her daughter's voice again, 'Anurag? Anurag?' Anita saw a glimmer of hope for Pihu. She had reacted. Maybe... she could be....

'Get OUT! I've had enough of you and your brother...' Shekhar Shastri's thunderous face was enough to make his wife step back in fear, but it only served to incense Anita further.

'Mr. Shastri, I have no desire to see your face. I came here for Pihu. LOOK at her. She's not alright,' Shekhar seemed to swell with rage, as he heard whispers start up behind his back. He would not stand for this. 'What do you mean? She's perfectly all right. She's just been through a traumatic...'

'Exactly,' Anita swept in, cutting him off. 'She's been through a traumatic experience, but instead of letting her grieve, you've allowed your daughter to fester in her guilt. Now, look at her. Actually look at her Mr. Shastri, and tell me she's fine,'

Shekhar glanced towards his daughter. 'Ask her what her name is, Mr. Shastri,' Anita's voice was a whisper, but it cut across the silent room like a knife.

For the first time, Shekhar's face showed a trace of doubt. The sight of Pihu's vacant face prompted Shekhar to follow Anita's advice, 'Honey, what's your name?' Pihu remained motionless. Her eyes seemed to be fixated on the cracks in the floor. 'Pihu! Tell everyone your name! Say it! What's your name?' Shekhar's voice was growing louder in his desperation. There could not be any truth to that girl's words. His daughter was fine. 'PIHU! What's your NAME?!' Pihu jumped, as her father's face came dangerously close to hers. Anita felt her brief flare of hope for Pihu die out, as she watched her retreat into a corner, hugging herself tight. Her wide eyes darted here and there. She called out for the only person she knew would come, 'Anurag? Anurag?'

Shekhar Shastri watched mutely as his daughter huddled in a corner, calling out for her supposedly dead lover. The silence of the wedding guests grew strained, as her cries grew louder and louder, 'Anurag! ANURAG!'

Anita handed him a card. 'Here's the name of the hospital where I work. We have the finest psychiatric facility in the city. Congratulations Mr. Shastri. In an attempt to remove my brother from your daughter's life, you've driven your only daughter insane.' She turned on her heel and walked out, no longer having the strength to look at his face.

'Oh,' she paused, her back still towards him. Shekhar, along with everyone in the hall, lifted their eyes to her weary face. 'Do come. I'm sure we'll be able to accommodate you. The room next to Anurag Ganguly's happens to be empty.'

I know it sounds weird, but I actually had this idea before Pihu became mad in Sangini. I thought that her character had traits that might lead her to become unbalanced, if something extreme happened. Needless to say I was part 😲 part 😆 when it did happen. Anyway, hope you liked it! 😃 Comments/criticism welcome! 😃
Edited by -Bee- - 14 years ago
sweta2005 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#49

awesomeeeeeeeeeeee too goo very nice shot do write one more sequel to it with anurag pihu interactions

Edited by sweta2005 - 14 years ago
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Posted: 14 years ago
#50
Great update soon can't wait to know what happens next

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