Akansha's OS Corner : Black - page 1 (20-11-10) - Page 7

Originally posted by: -Jess-

Thank u Sabah...

Love

Archana Love returned again. I will be back to reply to Jess' post :P

Originally posted by: -Jess-

Just out of a warped sense of curiousityI wanted to reply to Jess so that Archana could reply to the 'both' of us. :P

Sweetu..... I seriously don't know what Im gonna type here. True, sometimes you feel like each word is too much and yet not enough. The words carry weight and yet seem smaller in mass. In situations like these, I always just go with my first feelings. Feelings are the best place to begin when you are uncertain of what is going on around you. Trust your heart HOWEVER this comes with a disclaimer, you can only trust your heart for as long as you have kept it pure, there are some people who are so corrupted that they should never listen to their own hearts. Unfortunately.

I know you like trying writing of different genres. But this was shockingly different from your usual style! First of all you chose the dark topic for writing... (that too in the middle of your studies... when you hardly get time to write)... and then you wrote it so powerfully that it was heart wrenching.Oh, I understand, maybe it was a cathartic release.

The worthless feeling of rape victim, the numbness to the pain, the wish to end it all... the force pulling towards the black.... the illusion of light which truely is not light... but its the medium to end it all, in the hope of seeing light at the end of the darkness.... and then meeting the eyes of the lover...acknowledging the loss of love...blankness in his eyes... and the call of the hollow... the decision to end it all.... fade it all to BLACK....I had another interpretation but since this Jess' post, let us flow with this one. "acknowledging the loss of love" Is this in the sense that love lost to save her? Or that now because she fears her inferiority she is unworthy of obtaining love?

Sorry but this interpretation is very difficult for me. I think it is because unlike you, Archana, I am not a perfectionist, which I am assuming the protagonist is too. maybe that is why Jess has a problem with it too.

The roots of my discord lies in the fact that we can not place our esteem, our honour in results, we can only seek reward from our efforts. Hard work and efforts are their own victory. Like exams, since you brought it up, we can only reward or punish the child for their efforts, not the grades they obtain, to do otherwise would cause frustration, for the grades are beyond their control.

Same here, the protagonist seems to feel that she failed, that she could have tried harder to 'saver herself' ONLY she knows whether this is true or untrue, but I wonder because she is a perfectionist, did she indeed try her best, do all that she could do? Thus still blaming herself for failing despite this hard effort, BECAUSE of the results? Is this a type of perfectionist thinking. Or is it that she did not try hard enough and now that failure is knawing away at her insides, "if only" If so, then she needs to be able to forgive herself and move on, for by not doing so she is only perpetuating that same 'crime.' Or maybe the man in the Tuxedo is the reason she can not move on, for instead of aiding her towards forgiveness, he becomes a constant reminder of her failure, whereby even if he loved her once and still does now, that love is suffocating her, for it needed to develop, adapt to be able to still aid her now.

Like people who try to keep a hold of that 'honey period' as it fades, they fear that time has won over their love. However it is they who have failed to understand that 'fading' was a indicator that it was time to deepen unto another level, like marriage, like friendship, like commitment. There are hues to love and people like want that orange spark of first flutterings, when the intensity of a smouldering love, long in age is worth a million first sparks.

I digress. 😳

Simply BRILLIANT Akki.... you once again proved that you are best at whatever you do. You decribed the pain, the numbness the act of suicide in freaking awesome way. After all, you are my Sweetu... *smug*I'm really proud of you. And I'm sure you are gonna make us all proud in your exams too.But madam, send the writer in you on vacation for sometime...😆

Okay, I really do not support suicide as a solution to any kind of sadness.... so I would not leave my comments without saying this.... I did not like the line... Don't save me if you love me. In fact, it's the opposite that I always believe in.... that if you love, your love and warmth can save a coldest heart.... Love has an ability not just to save a life....but to heal any deepest wound inside and outside our body and soul. I believe in love.Maybe the line could be interpreted as don't save me, as in that his love is unable to save her, but not ALL love. That 'they' were not meant to be, as this test has shown her, and that the light of their love is now fading to black, nothing left of their relationship to cause movement in her heart, only numbness, despite the glamour the intensity of their love in days gone by.

No one is ever worthless... there is always someone who cares for our existance. Here is the song which conveys my thoughts on suicide.... It's by Good Charlotte. As for suicide, it pains me deeply, even those I do not know, for we are all connected, part of this family. If we stop caring about others we eventually stop caring about ourselves. To quote my favourite poem upon this by Donne, the parts I want to illuminate underlined. Love Sabah
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eioI-E3GHbc[/YOUTUBE]

This does not mean I don't like you writing on this subject. As I said, I'm glad that you are trying new genres. And you are mindblowingly good at it.

Bless You Sweetu!!!

p.s. I hope you appreciate the efforts I put into posting your OS... setting correct font size and alignment as madam suggested... LOL ... you bossy monkey...I love you...!!!