MaYur Gallery - Updated OS Page 29

Page

Next Last

-SharNeela-

@-SharNeela-

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

Friends..

I have been thinking about starting a gallery for quite some time now with an intention to update it with OS and/or SS. Not sure how committed I can be in terms of updating regularly but at least there should be a start, don't you think?

So here it goes...hope you will visit it regularly as I update. I will also include links to my FFs here for your convenience and should anyone wish to read those.

Love

-Neela

~~~ MaYur OS ~~~

Aashna

Rehguzar

KehkashaaN

Baraf Bari

Jaanib-e-Manzil : Part 1

Jaanib-e-Manzil : Part 2

Jaanib-e-Manzil : Last Part

Ehd-e-Wafa

From Me to You...

Epitaph

Adaavat

Ek Mulaqat Mukhtasar Si

Lost in Translation

~~~ MaYur FF ~~~

Kuch Ankahee Jazbaat (Completed)

Qayenaat (Completed)

Intikhaab (Completed)

Tasawwur (Completed)

Note: Most of my FFs are complete and few of them may have been locked by the Dev team. If you feel like commenting on any of the locked ones, please feel free to drop them here on this thread. I shall be more than happy to see your valuable feedback. Thank you!

Edited by NorthernLight - 11 years ago

Quote

Frequent Posters

-SharNeela-

@-SharNeela-

Voyager

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

~~~~~~~Aashna~~~~~~~

Its late in the evening….Nupur's house is fully lit with colourful lights. Its her wedding day today. The house is full with guests and is buzzing with noise. Loud music playing all around…children are running about and Nupur's entire family is busy looking after their guests. Away from all this hustle bustle, Nupur is waiting in her bedroom, all by herself…she is in her bridal wear, glittering with all the ornaments that is adding to her glamour and beauty. She is standing in front of the mirror glaring at her own reflection as she notices those tears flowing down her cheeks as fear grips her as to what will happen to her life from this point on. Suddenly she is startled by the sound of footsteps at the balcony. As she turns around to look back, she sees a shadow appearing from behind the curtains of the blacony doors…its Mayank! Nupur freezes as if she has seen a ghost…she cannot believe her eyes. Tears are running down her cheeks and she loses control as she runs into his open arms…

N: kahan the tum? kahaaaan…????sab kuch khatam hogaya hai Mayank…sab kuch (she can't help but sob as Mayank holds her tight in his arms)
M: humain maaf kar do Nupur …tumhara khat bohat dair se pohuncha mere haat per ab to hum aagaye hain na?
N: koi faida nahi ab Mayank (she frees herself from Mayank's embrace and wipes her tears). bohat dair ho chuki hai ab to
M: kya dair ho chuki hai? kuch nahi hua hai..sab thik hai
N: (screams) kuch theek nahi hain Mayank…dekho hamari taraf…dekhoooo

Mayank now looks at her carefully, from top to bottom. A bride in her bridalwear, in her full make up, loaded with jewellery and then he notices that mangalsutra and the sindoor on her forehead. Mayank is dumbstruck but his eyes are wet.

M: nahi…yeh nahi hosakta. yeh sab kya mazak hai Nupur!!
N: mazak nahi…sach hai yeh jo qayamat bannke hum dono ki zindagi per tooti hai. aur ab yeh sach hum dono ko ek doosre se alag kar gaya hai Mayank. ab humain issi sach k saath jeena hai..jeena hai woh bhi kisi aur k saath
M: yeh na mumkin hai Nupur! (he shakes Nupur by her shoulders) tum mere siwa kisi aur ki nahi ho sakti, kabhi nahi
N: chhoro mujhe Mayank…dard horaha hai
M: (lets go of her and with a shaky voice says) kyun aisa kar rahi ho Nupur? kya khata hai meri?
N: hamari kya khata thee Mayank? kyun hamare zindagi k saare khwaab adhure reh gaye? kya maanga tha humnain zindagi se? bas yehi na k jisse dil o jaan se chaha ussi k saath yeh tamam umer guzre. kya yehi ghalti hai hamari? ya phir apni papa ki khushiyon per khud ki khushiyan qurbaan karne ki saza mili hai humain? bolo..
M: kyun aisa keh rahi ho Nupur? chalo mere saath…abhi bhi kuch nahi bigra. hum abhi bhi ek doosre ke saath apni zindagi guzaar sakte hai. woh vaade jhoothe nahi hue abhi tak Nupur…main woh saare kasme…saare vaade nibhaunga jo maine tumse kabhi kiye the. bas mera saath do tum
N: kaise saath dey tumhara? dekho iss mangalsutra ko…iss sindoor ko. innke bandish ko hum kaise tor dey? usool aur maryada ka ulanghan kaise karein hum?
M: mohabbat aur chahat ke saamne yeh usool aur rasam kuch nahi hai Nupur. aur zindagi to inn sabse barh ker hai. innke saamne apne poori zindagi tabah kar dena kya sahi hai?
N: (quiet for a while) nahi Mayank…hum aisa nahi kar sakte. bhale hi hamari zindagi tumhare baghair aazab kyun na bann jaaye per hum yeh nahi kar sakte.
M: (turns away with disappointment and starts walking towards the balcony but stops after few steps. Without looking at Nupur he says) mere baghair tumhari zindagi kaisi hogi yeh to nahi pata…haan per tumhare baghair hamari koi zindagi hi nahi rahegi iss baat ka yaqeen dila ke jaate hai tumhe hum. jahan bhi raho khush raho…aaj tumhare zindagi ki iss khaas mauke pe tumhe siwaye iss dua k hum kuch nahi dey paa rahe hai.

Nupur watches Mayank walk off, then she notices a trail of blood following him leading to his right hand. Seeing that she loses her mind and calls him out by his name..

N: Mayank…!

Mayank looks back and sees Nupur on her knees. Without moving her eyes from Mayank's eyes, she dips her thumb on the blood drops on the floor and puts it over her sindoor.

N: lo…maine apni poori zindagi aaj tumhare naam ki

Mayank cannot believe his fate…just when he thought that he was taking the last breath of his life, a miracle like this happens and he feels as if he is reborn. Mayank is so overwhelmed by this sudden act of Nupur that he starts feeling a numbness in his body. With baby steps he walks towards her, pulls her up and hugs her. He starts laughing but his eyes are shedding tears…tears of joy.

M: mujhe yaqeen nahi horaha Nupur…tumne mujhe meri saansein lauta diye. marr jaata main tumhare baghair Nupur…
N: hum bhi kahan jee paate tumhare bina...

As they are lost in each others arms, the footsteps of people coming towards Nupur's room forces them to break their hug. Mayank holds Nupur's hands and they make an escape through the balcony. As they grab a taxi and instruct the driver to head towards the station, Nupur asks

N: kahan jaa rahe hai hum log?
M: mere ghar…Banglore
N: tumhare ghar? per tumhare mummy papa! woh kya sochenge? kya kahenge?
M: tum kyun itna fiker kar rahi ho. main hoon na…sab thik kar dunga. mujh per bharosa hai na?
N: khud se bhi zyada

Eventually they manage to reach the station and take the train to Mayank's hometown in Bangalore. Upon reaching home, they face Mayank's parents at the door. Obviously, Mayank's father is furious and is determined to throw Mayank out of the house. That's when Shilpa intervenes…

S: suniye ji…maana ke bacchon se ghalti hui hai. per iss umer me akser ghalti ho hi jaati hai. dekho ab to ussne iss larki se shaadi bhi kar li hai. ghussa thuk do. maaf kar do bacchon ko aur inhe ander aane do…

~~~~25 Years Later…Same Day~~~~~

Just few hours ago, the whole house was filled with relatives and friends.…atmosphere was humming with guests and their chit chats. Who knew that the celebrations are going to be so big…it was Mayank and Nupur's 25th Wedding Anniversary. Their only daughter, 21 year old Tia had been planning this day for quite some time now. She came up with this unique idea that she wants to re-marry her parents on their wedding anniversary. Initially, both Mayank and Nupur were reluctant to go through this but then again, something happened that convinced them to change their minds.

Its quite late at night and all the guests have left. The ceremony is over. Mayank has just married Nupur with all the rituals fully completed. Tia has outdone herself with all the arrangements. She has also retired in her room now after a long, busy day. Mayank enters his bedroom where Nupur is seen waiting for him in her bridalwear. As he approaches his newly wed wife, he realises that 25 years has passed by. He is, now a 45 year old man, wearing a black kurta and off white 'dhoti', his side burns glitter with grey hair now and these gold framed glasses on his eyes do not hide his age either but as he comes near Nupur he steals some glimpses of her which makes him realise his feelings towards her that hasn't changed one little bit…even after so many years with each other. As soon as he comes near Nupur and lifts her veil, Nupur gets off the bed and touches his feet.

M: arre yeh kya kar rahi ho!
N: shaadi k rasme nibha rahe hai hum….jo pehle kabhi nibha nahi paaye
M: rasmon rewaz ka parwah tumhe 25 saal pehle bhi thee aur aaj bhi hai (smiles)
N: haan per hamare mohabbat ke saamne kahan tik paaye woh
M: so to hai. Nupur…kya tum khush ho?
N: (rests her head on his chest) shakk hai koi tumhe?
M: shakk nahi…shubha hai bas. meri ek choti ki ghalti ki wajah se tumhe apne usoolon ko torna para. 25 saal bita diye tumne ek gunah ki bojh k niche dabey hue (sighs)
N: aisa kyun soch rahe ho. haalat se samjhota kiya to hai magar tum hi kehte ho na ke mohabbat in sab se upar hai aur unnse bhi barh ke hai zindagi. aaj dil me jo thori si khalish baaqi thee woh bhi Khuda ne door kar di. 25 saal pehle baghair koi mantra parhe humnain apni yeh zindagi tumhare naam ki thee. aaj saat phere k saath woh saare mantra bhi parh liye humnain aur aaj se sirf iss janam ka nahi…agle saat janmo k liye humnain khudko tumhare haathon sonp diya

Mayank kisses Nupur on her forehead and as they start sinking in each other, not too far from them, there lies a newspaper with an eulogy for Mr. Abhijeet Sinha who passed away last week.

-Neela

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

.SilentPrincess

@.SilentPrincess

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

res

Edited... lol... i reserved first and I'm editing last... 😆 anyways Dheer aye Duroost aye... 😃

Anyways... UR still a Tragedy Queen... Yeh toh ek Co-incidence tha... waise tumne kaunsi qasar chorri thi MayUr ko Judaa karne mein... 😭 Woh toh shukar karo Mayank ne sab kuch time pe baccha liya... 😛

But indeed it was a really sad, emotional, heartbreaking, happy, romantic, passionate Oss..

Amazingly written yet another time... 👏 But seriousl you potray the feelings of the characters beautifully...

Half way through I was ready toh kill u... But ur twist changed everything... The best twist i ever read... 😳 I loved the dialouges, and describtion... everything was just fantastic... 😳👏

Nupur watches Mayank walk off, then she notices a trail of blood following him leading to his right hand. Seeing that she loses her mind and calls him out by his name..

N: Mayank'!

Mayank looks back and sees Nupur on her knees. Without moving her eyes from Mayank's eyes, she dips her thumb on the blood drops on the floor and puts it over her sindoor.

N: lo'maine apni poori zindagi aaj tumhare naam ki

I'm speechless after reading this... The best dialouge in the whole Oss... my fav line...

And of course i sooo missed ur writing style... Im soo happy you are back... No one in the forum writes like you... I missed your writing style more than you! 😳

But indeed an amazing Oss... ( It feel really weird writing oss.. in Norwegian oss means us..) anyways write more os, ss and oss...

Laiba 😳

Edited by .SilentPrincess - 13 years ago

Quote

Divya

@MyInspirationz

Sparkler

+ 5

Posted: 14 years ago

RES

----

EDIT:-

You are still the "TRAGEDY and JUDAAI QUEEN".. woh toh isme Mayank ke haath se khoon nikalta hua dekh, Nupur uske peeche gayi aur phir unn donon ne apni zindagi phirse jeena shuru kar diya..

warna tune toh koi kasar nahin chodi thi inn donon ko juda karne mein...

But I am happy that, ek baar hi sahi, inn donon ne pyaar ke liye saari rasmon ko bhula diya.. aur pyaar se badi cheez aur kuch bhi nahin hain duniya mein...

And 25th Marriage anniversary ko inki beti ne inki shaadi karvakar bahut hi punya ka kaam kiya hain....

Nice update..

Par ek baat bata, inn 25 years mein kya Mr.Sinha ne ek baar bhi Nupur ko dhoondne ki koshish nahin ki..

Edited by Divya_kaldivya - 14 years ago

Quote

Nirvrithi

@Nirvrithi

Inactive

Posted: 14 years ago

Hi Neela... (BTW,Neela se hi baat kar rahi hoo na, ya uske bhoot se?😉)

How are u now? tumhari gajniwaali bhimari theek ho gayi? 😆

Kuch yaad hain mein kaun hoon? 😉 Itna bada vacation logi tho bhool tho jaavogi na?

Coming to your OSS - Sach bolun😆 Maarna mat ,huh?😉 When I started reading it, I was smiling in my mind that Tragedy Queen returns - Ye nahi badli.. but..suddenly the twist came. I couldnt believe😲 Nupur bhaag gayi ? Shaadi ke baad? Woh bhi Neela ke story pe?

I thought I lost it completely - Probably the aftereffect of reading OS at odd hour of 5AM morning😆 Then read it again and came to know that its you only... 😊

Anyways I loved your short story - though bit unconventional... Stories mein tho chalta hain😉

Par ye Abhijeet Sinha ka kissa kya hain,kuch samajh nahi aaya;did I miss to read or notice something? Only thing I can remember is this is the something you mentioned in this line right?

Initially, both Mayank and Nupur were reluctant to go through this but then again, something happened that convinced them to change their minds.

Par ye janab hain kaun?? 😕

Oh god, probably I have to go back to sleep and when I am in my full sense ,read the story again... Ab tho mera logic so raha hain... 🥱

Edited by Nirvrithi - 14 years ago