The honey moon period gets over in a short span of time, then it becomes routine that things keep changing from bad to worse!
There will be a point where the become two side of a coin, they just cant' face each other!
By something special, i didnt mean jump on the bed everyday or when u want to do something special 😆 i know the honeymoon period is the shortest in marriage nd its mostly in beginning (well ur 1st honeymoon is in the beginning) nd in the beginning everything is nice. both husband nd wife stay on their best behaviour. the in laws treat the bahu nicely. everything is lovey dovey nd easy. the true self of a person in a relation comes out after a few weeks or months (not more than 1 year). thats when problems arise. since u were talking abt a dictionary, i will also talk abt a theory or something which i studied in my family studies class. this might not apply to everyone but it will apply to the majority. i dont remember everything. it said that husband nd wife (or any two ppl in a relation) r on their best behaviour to impress each other in the beginning of a marriage (lets say weeks/months). when these 2 start to get comfortable nd a routine is formed, frictions starts nd that friction soon leads to problems nd arguments nd fights. this is the period which is the hardest. if a couple can get through this phase successfully then their marriage is more stable. if not, fights might even lead to divorce.
when i referred to something special i meant making a special dinner, dressing up nicely/differently, get a gift like a shirt or book (i hope my husband doesnt give me a book😆), give a card, go out for a dinner, or do something ur husband might find special(u know its different in every case as ppl hav different choices). u dont hav to give big gifts, even small gifts do the same work. it makes a person feel special nd its a way of saying i love u nd i appreciate u for everything u do in my life. u dont hav to do something special everyday. nd i think u shudnt do something special everyday as it just becomes a routine then. the freshness nd surprise just disappears.
marriage is not abt romance or love only. its more than that nd we hav to accept that. ppl who dont they r the ones who cry for love all their life. they dont see other things nd appreciate those.
Thats a million dollar argument which is been happening for ages now, so its pretty difficult to figure out who is right from wrong!
Yes this is a very common problem. not just in marriage, but in every relation. sometimes both of u might b right or both of u might b wrong.but at least one person shud know when to back out. if they dont, then the argument will never end! thats the truth. no matter how much u fight, someone will need to bend down at some point.sometimes it can b u or sometimes ur partner. nd if ur partner will see u bending most of the time, he/she will bend too one day.
Something special yes agreed but what is that special u r going to do when u have done 50 years of married life.
It becomes stale meat same bhasi biryani, so then comes the question of compromise just for the heck of staying u need to stay!!!!!!
lets assume i wil b alive when i will b 75+ 😆 something special at that age will b the 50 year marriage! nd at that time u dont think abt if he/she is giving me time or not. at that time, u think abt if my child is giving me time or not (my mom complains even now that i dont give her time!! but i do give her a lotttt of time. but parents will b parents!) it doesnt hav to b basi biryani. thats ur opinion.u can still do something special at that age. after 50 years of marriage, its not abt compromising. it abt supporting each other. i m not there yet, so i wont comment more on that.
now i want to discuss a common problem which leads to problems in marriage. i dont know abt other cultures but this is what i hav seen in desi culture. a girl has this fantasy abt having a marriage like in fairytales!! well girl wake up!! marriage in movies nd tv is not like that in reality. girls who dont wake up on time hav problems (like my sister). these girls think that i m going to marry a guy nd live with him happily ever after. but when u get married there r so many things that u hav to take care of nd so many responsibilities. u r not alone when u get married. u hav to take care of the house, ur in laws, ur husband, ur kids. a girl needs to balance housework, husband, kids, nd family. if she does one thing more, then the other 3 will b upset (lets say u spend too much time with ur saas then ur husband will complain u dont give me time). balancing this is the hardest part. now abt the guys. guys think they will get married nd get a girl (for romance nd housework). but with marriage, comes responsibility. u hav to take care of the needs of ur wife, ur parents, ur kids, urself, take care of the financials, etc. the hardest part for a man is to balance between his wife nd his parents (mostly mom). the girl nd the guy both need to understand their own responsibilities nd the responsibility of their partner too. there will b even lesser arguments if u understand ur partner nd his/her responsibilities.
marriage is also abt compromising. but to what extent u can compromise is ur decision. i m a very compromising person but i also hav limits. u hav to remember that sometimes u will hav to compromise more nd sometimes ur partner will hav to.
communication is veryyy important in marriage.lack of communication or miscommunication can lead to problems. i think its important to b straightforward.
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