Suggestions please - Page 2

Not capable of suggesting anything without knowing why is he so angry or if the anger is justified?

Tell him to go to counselling. If not then leave him. Unless help sought, he won't change.

I assume they don't have kids yet. So before kids come into the equation he better go to counselling otherwise tell your friend to leave him. His anger will come out on kids too in future, so why put a child thru that. It will be difficult with kids involved to leave later so better she has a talk with him and he has to agree for counselling.

Originally posted by: MiniCupcake

I know it's not related to bw forum. But still I wanna post here.

My frnd got married 1 yr back. Her husband loves her so much and she too. That guy is too good he cares her so much and also protective. But when he gets anger..nothing can stop him. He uses cuss words and also blames her parents for upbringing and after 5 mins he will come to her and say sorry and pamper her.

Now what she should do. ? Should she bare his 15 mins anger and stay happy with him for rest of the days or any other suggestions?

I think she should leave him

But it depends on her bond with him otherwise

Maybe they can talk it out

Thank you for valuable replies. I also suggested her to leave. Have to see what will happen

Um, tell your friend to run, not walk, run to a divorce lawyer. Her husband is a classic abuser - perpetrators of domestic violence alternate affection and rage as a control tactic. The abusive incidences are likely only going to get worse and more frequent as the months and years go on. Unless he himself wants to change his behavior and undertake some serious therapy, your friend is in for a very hard time.

Originally posted by: MiniCupcake

I know it's not related to bw forum. But still I wanna post here.

My frnd got married 1 yr back. Her husband loves her so much and she too. That guy is too good he cares her so much and also protective. But when he gets anger..nothing can stop him. He uses cuss words and also blames her parents for upbringing and after 5 mins he will come to her and say sorry and pamper her.

Now what she should do. ? Should she bare his 15 mins anger and stay happy with him for rest of the days or any other suggestions?

No matter if 90% of the time he treats her like a queen...she is still in an abusive situation, and it sounds like she has no control over the rough times, therefore the risk of him scalating and losing control one day is almost also 90%. She needs to get him to get help or really really re-think the situation.

Originally posted by: MiniCupcake

I know it's not related to bw forum. But still I wanna post here.

My frnd got married 1 yr back. Her husband loves her so much and she too. That guy is too good he cares her so much and also protective. But when he gets anger..nothing can stop him. He uses cuss words and also blames her parents for upbringing and after 5 mins he will come to her and say sorry and pamper her.

Now what she should do. ? Should she bare his 15 mins anger and stay happy with him for rest of the days or any other suggestions?

That's her own choice whether she wants to stay or not. Does he realise his mistakes? Does he do anything to try and control/manage this behaviour?

She cannot change him unless he wants to change himself and it will be a difficult journey. It won't happen overnight as it takes a long time for a person to change his habits.

Has she noticeda pattern of what triggers him?

Originally posted by: TheMinion

She should just pack her stuff and leave, period. It won't take him longer to raise her hands on her... ask her to watch Netflix series - Maid - to know what abuse is and what it can do to a woman...

Hope she gets the strength to sail through this... ask her to be strong...

Congrats on colour promotion🥳

Also, I think she needs to first talk to him and tell him how she feels with his behaviour. Strictly let him know how it is affecting her because most people do not realise what their behaviour or treatment is doing to another person until they are told. Give him a strict warning that she won't sit around and tolerate such behaviour, and will get separation if it continues.

If he still does not take her seriously, leave his house, stop all contact with him, no matter how many days/weeks it takes do not go back to him until you know he is apologetic and truly regretful over his behaviour. He needs to know that this behaviur will not be accepted by her. If he is truly apologetic and begs for her to come back, makes promises to give her respect, only then give him another chance. He may start to value her.

Originally posted by: evilxbalaa

Also, I think she needs to first talk to him and tell him how she feels with his behaviour. Strictly let him know how it is affecting her because most people do not realise what their behaviour or treatment is doing to another person until they are told. Give him a strict warning that she won't sit around and tolerate such behaviour, and will get separation if it continues.

If he still does not take her seriously, leave his house, stop all contact with him, no matter how many days/weeks it takes do not go back to him until you know he is apologetic and truly regretful over his behaviour. He needs to know that this behaviur will not be accepted by her. If he is truly apologetic and begs for her to come back, makes promises to give her respect, only then give him another chance. He may start to value her.

She talked with him so many times and asked him not to bring her parents in discussion but he always says he will not bring his parents in discussion and then again when he get anger he will bring them in middle and he says wats ur prblm I'm not saying any thing to u na..I'm talking abt ur parents