Ques for those who hv done arranged marriage:How is ur compatibility? - Page 7

Originally posted by: Lord_Voldemort

I am happy you fell in love but girl dont say he is still a non-feminist? I would rather die than be married to someone who thinks his gender is superior.

Tbh if we were dating i would dump him for sure. I don't want to teach a grown man feminism but marriage is different, i didn't want to give up without trying.

His attitude towards his female boss was first red flag i noticed and another thing is feeling shame on doing household chores. He has changed a lot during this past 1.5 years. I wouldn't call him a feminist yet but he is a work in progress. I am being patient and giving him a chance to improve because i love him. I always correct him when he says some misogynist shit.

Originally posted by: _Khaleesi_

Tbh if we were dating i would dump him for sure. I don't want to teach a grown man feminism but marriage is different, i didn't want to give up without trying.

His attitude towards his female boss was first red flag i noticed and another thing is feeling shame on doing household chores. He has changed a lot during this past 1.5 years. I wouldn't call him a feminist yet but he is a work in progress. I am being patient and giving him a chance to improve because i love him. I always correct him when he says some misogynist shit.

Ok, if he's improving and you are patient enough to wait for him to change, great!!

If it were me, I would dump his sorry ass and move the f*ck on. I mean I don't want to be a mother to a grown man, wtf. Kudos to your patience though. Hope he doesn't end up changing you.

Originally posted by: VintageWine

Oh this thread reminds of a particular member - binkuchkahe or something from Bin, whose stroy went like bumping into a stranger or she falling and he hold her or something like that and then meeting him in her society....

Yaar kaha ho? Please update the aage ki story.

Well atleast her love story justifies her username. 😆

Originally posted by: Autumn_Rose

You are so good at writing scenarios. You could literally be a script writer 😆

Jokes aside, your point is spot on.

@bold, what makes you think I'm already not one?

Originally posted by: S_H_Y

Tbh, it's not your parents fault,pressure is there because with each passing year availability of quantity of decent guys in arrange marriage system cease to exist , when you touch 30 the pool would be too limited for even getting a guy from arrange marriage unless you are lucky.

So better luck with dating

This is unfortunately true. The more you get late in marriage, the lesser options you're left with. If a girl decides to get married after 35+, she would get plethora of offers from divorcees, widows (even with children), or guys who are jobless.

Everything is fine if women are okay with marrying such guys, but most of the time they don't. So it's better for them to marry sooner than later. In my opinion, you're more likely to be happy and compatible with your partner in your married life (especially if it's an arranged marriage), when you marry young rather than old.

Because you get better options to choose from, like guys who are richer, better looking and with better jobs.

Even if you go for love marriage, your dating pool also gets limited as you age.

Originally posted by: Muskie

Ok my turn🙋

I got married on 26th Jan 2021😅

He's 35 I'm 25, never wanted to get married in the first place, family made me understand did few prayers if this is good for me or not, finally said yes.

We too have difference of opinions he believes that girls should be wearing hijaab in front of everyone though I too love wearing my hijaab but I don't agree with him at all, he points out his views in a sensible way and I argue because he's not ready to understand a simple point that Islam is not that strict, people made it like that. Apart from that everything is fine Alhamdulillah

This is surprising. I never thought you were married. You never wanted to get married but agreed just at the age of 25?

That's too early, and you still didn't get a guy of your age? Well now that you're married, I'd advice you to not compromise or adjust just because he's older and your husband. Don't bow down to him.

If he forces you to do something or bosses you around, throw tantrums, don't talk to him, do any housework and don't allow him in your room. Make him sleep outside!!!

Tell him who's the boss!!!

Originally posted by: AwaamKiJaan

This is surprising. I never thought you were married. You never wanted to get married but agreed just at the age of 25?

That's too early, and you still didn't get a guy of your age? Well now that you're married, I'd advice you to not compromise or adjust just because he's older and your husband. Don't bow down to him.

If he forces you to do something or bosses you around, throw tantrums, don't talk to him, do any housework and don't allow him in your room. Make him sleep outside!!!

Tell him who's the boss!!!

I don't know why my dad couldn't fine one but it's ok he found him, the poor guy handles my mood swings very well, tries helping me out in the kitchen (though chup chup ke) wants me to focus on my career.

No he doesn't force me for anything the only bad thing about him is his views on women, which I would change coz that's really wrong

Originally posted by: Muskie

Yes, I too tells him that I never wanted to get married coz men just like to enjoy patriarchy (some men) and he tells me bot to he negative about marriage as it's a very nice thing

I don't know why my dad couldn't fine one but it's ok he found him, the poor guy handles my mood swings very well, tries helping me out in the kitchen (though chup chup ke) wants me to focus on my career.

No he doesn't force me for anything the only bad thing about him is his views on women, which I would change coz that's really wrong

TBH, your husband may have been conditioned to think that way. But I think if he’s willing to change it’s a big thing in itself. May people may be open minded but very stingy and stubborn when it comes to their POV.