Just to clarify our take on the new posts that keeps creeping up - Page 5

Originally posted by: Peanutbolt

Didn't her initial monologue at the start of the episode about how she wants to solve her issues with Aditya, her reasoning of how their love is bigger than the issues, her questioning aditya about not calling her, her reasoning about taking suggestions from everyone and her frustration about him not talking to her, then her reactions to the photo pretty much said all that....she wants to deny it by thinking she is overreacting. To me, it felt like she is battling her constant doubts vs her belief in what she and aditya share is making her want to not confront the issue though she knows deep down.

Also, how does her being a professor translate to her being courageous enough to confront something that will make her life fall apart. She can be a CEO but she might want to be in denial about what's going on unless the truth is shoved in her face. How is she to be blamed here when she is the one who is wronged ? that bechari knows something is messed up doesn't know what it is and doesn't have the courage to confront it. How is she at fault here ? matlab koi kuch bhi kare unless you stand up to it, you deserve the emotional trauma is it ? The way I see it, Aditya is the only one to blame for all this mess. Not malini nor imlie (Soon she'll be added to the list if she continues her mahanta jhaap). Malini is the victim here, she might not want to face the truth, but it is Aditya's responsibility to tell the truth.

Absolutely correct...just because she is in denial ,more wrongs will be done. Adi is wrong earlier also and now as well. Using her health as a shield to save some more time before the truth comes out and he has to face the wrath of his family. He is basically procrastinating and hiding behind the health issue.

Also it is funny how Aditya's hesitancy, to tell the truth, is seen as him having human emotions but Malini's lack of courage to confront a situation that'll turn her life upside down is seen as her being a doormat and not a human too.

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The bottom line is

No one is really accepting the other point

We all have to come in peace that for every issue we have different approaches and that is not wrong too

We have to Accept that no matter how we see Imlie as a first wife, others will not accept this until Adi gave her the title in public till then she is the maid ( No offense to this profession)

As we see Aditya in tough place, and we understand why he hesitate to come clean, others will see him in full guilt mood, he have to man up thats it!

As we see Millani is weak and some of us lost connection with her already, but others still have faith on her, and also others go to the extend of defending her stand and actions of choosing to ignore the signs just to save the relation

We need to just accept that the other is not wrong it is just his own version of take of the show that we disagree with it

I put my take

You put yours

We don't have to agree with each other

But we also have to respect the other and not just gang up to prove our points!

Originally posted by: Peanutbolt

Not every woman is like imlie and not every woman is malini..the circumstances both grew and the kind of familial relationships both had are very different.

The way I see it, malini knows deep down, how her relationship with aditya is spiraling down, she was/is in constant denial about her relationship dynamics with Aditya and is holding on to a thread to save her relationship which she thinks in her mind still exists. She doesn't want to give in to her mother's insecurities about her relationship nor she doesn't somewhere subconsciously turn into her. like I said she's barely holding onto it and wants to turn blind-eye on things that would otherwise be questioned by anyone else.

Now we can't expect every woman to be Jhansi ki raani or in this case bold like imlie..people can be doormats, may not want to confront truth unless shoved right into their eyes..but that doesn't mean they should be subjected to such emotional traumas nor they are undeserving of sympathy. It is more like victim-blaming saying 'ha usne kuch nahi kaha when it was saaf in front of her eyes now she deserves it', that's sad.

Also being in malini's place right now is crazy, the woman is seeing all signs of breakages in her relationships, doesn't want to acknowledge it, wants reassurance from Aditya, and battling a hell of turmoil between her feelings of doubt and guilt for doubting and what does Aditya do? Go rush to pacify imlie and say how she is the one in his life/his first biwi/put sindhoor from malini's/cook for her/play with her not giving two hoots about how Malini could perceive it and the kind of turmoil is putting her through and does this drama of not hurting mun which is frankly grating and thoughtless..

I don't care if imlie is his first wife or second wife, he fell out of love and that's up to him, but what irritates about his character is it's always about his damn feelings, initially it was to get the feeling of control back into his life, he married mun and hurt imlie with all his words, now it is because he realized his sacha pyaar, he wants to believe in his rishta with imlie and blatantly act thoughtlessly in front of malini.

Also not sure what this Thursday wala post is but the moment someone posts some analysis on the show which opposite to praising, people gang up left right center ranting about some silly TRP jealousy. The other day there was an opinion post by the writer where she mentioned her analysis of Aditya is in love and the posts were ganged up with indirect.

Like I mentioned in the other post, Imlie is a triggering subject, how much ever we sugarcoat it, the subject does get polar views. Don't understand why posting a contrary view is so bad.

I am with you on Imlie and Malini,😊 however, I disagree regarding Aditya.😳

Imlie is the strong person that she is, all thanks to Mithi and Satyakaam. But she has her own flaws too.

Malini, I can understand that she is not as strong as Imlie and that is totally okay. Not all of them can be mentally strong women. Anu is right in her thinking about their relationship but is extremely wrong in her behavior with Malini and how she treats Aditya in front of Malini. The toxicity that Anu is spreading in Malini's life has a lot to do with Malini not being able to handle her relationship downfall with Aditya. Anu has always been right in saying that Aditya does not love Malini. A man who can never prioritize his girlfriend in 7 years of relationship, how is he going to prioritize his wife. We as audience clearly saw that as a big warning sign that this relationship is doomed. When you love someone, you might prioritize your job sometimes, probably most of the time, but not all the time. And Malini ignored this before marriage. After marriage, right away she started feeling the undercurrent of their shifting relationship. She had no idea how to confront Aditya if both of them were in disagreement. To her, after 7 years of relationship, was shocking that they are disagreeing all the time when before they always agreed with each other. Big warning sign again.

To me, Malini totally feels her relationship is going down the drain but is unable to save it. As it is, saving a relationship should be done by both, the husband and wife. It should not always be one person's responsibility. She is not able to confront Aditya the way it is needed but that does not mean she deserves the pain. Her world revolves around Aditya, she is scared of losing him, and she cannot see a life without Aditya in it. But you cannot hold on to a relationship if one of them has given up. I wished she had someone strong to support her right now to help her get through this pain. And Aditya is very aware of the pain he is causing Malini. That is why I disagree with you about Aditya.

I hated how Aditya behaved with Imlie after forced marriage as if she was not a victim also as much as he was. But I understood where he was coming from. I understood his character though I did not like him. It took a lot of time for Aditya to accept that Imlie is a victim too. I think he consciously accepted that after the Dil se scene in Pagdandiya. Deep down he always knew that Imlie was a victim too that is why he protected and cared for her between forced marriage and second trip to Pagdandiya. And he was also always honest with Imlie. That is why Imlie was able to understand Aditya too.

As for Aditya with Malini, I think he tried real hard to salvage that relationship but when Imlie left him forever, he lost it. He lost whatever control he had and hurt Malini by leaving without any clarification. Like his father advised him, he first needs to resolve his thoughts before he can resolve the relationship. So he left for Pagdandiya to seek answers. He did not know then what to tell his family and Malini as he himself was not aware of why he was feeling like that.

But I do feel after the car trunk conversation that Aditya is very much aware of the hurt he is causing Malini. He wants to tell her the truth and that is what he was telling Imlie too. That he cannot keep Malini happy, not only because of his feelings for Imlie, but just that he cannot feel the same for Malini. It is less to do with Imlie and more to do with him realizing he never loved Malini in the first place. The only thing stopping him from talking to Malini is his fear of Malini's mental health. And he is not wrong here. He tried telling her the truth about his forced marriage but Malini fainted and the doctor advised him to be careful with her. But now, Aditya needs to start testing waters with Malini again. He is allowed to enjoy his life with Imlie but he also has to constantly think about how to deal with Malini. There needs to be a balance here and I think the writers have shown that balance. He is building a relationship with Imlie and at the same time worrying about Malini and how to end his relationship with her. He also told Imlie in the car trunk conversation that he has to hurt Malini once so that all of them can move on in life. So I feel Aditya is very aware of the pain he is causing to Malini and he is trying to figure out the best way to deal with her.

Originally posted by: Guiltyo0o

🤣

🤣

The bottom line is

No one is really accepting the other point

We all have to come in peace that for every issue we have different approaches and that is not wrong too

We have to Accept that no matter how we see Imlie as a first wife, others will not accept this until Adi gave her the title in public till then she is the maid ( No offense to this profession)

As we see Aditya in tough place, and we understand why he hesitate to come clean, others will see him in full guilt mood, he have to man up thats it!

As we see Millani is weak and some of us lost connection with her already, but others still have faith on her, and also others go to the extend of defending her stand and actions of choosing to ignore the signs just the relation

We need to just accept that the other is not wrong it is just his own virtion of take of the show that we disagree with it

I put my take

You put yours

We don't have to agree with each other

But we also have to respect the other and not just gang up to prove our points!

I toh still didnt get how was i demeaning househelps...i toh rever them...lol. in lockdown period i realised their true value man.

Originally posted by: pamk06

Word on the bold...People keep saying imagine this and imagine that... Agar imagine hi karna to show kyun dekhte, imagine he karte rehange 😆

Exactly, blame the person but blame him for the crimes that he has committed. If Malini is not ready to face the truth or hear the truth, is it Aditya or Imlie ki kya galati? Isn't she and her fragileness the only reason why Aditya is hesitating to tell the truth. Warna yeh to ghodi pe tayaar hain sach bolne ke liye 😆

Show dekhenge to pata chalega bas aa jaate hain pravachan karne ki "Aditya should tell the truth"... jaise women ki to koi responsibility hi nahin hain relationship mein. Apparently, she is turning a blind eye to save a relationship, I guess that is the new way to do it. You are thinking that your man is cheating on you but you do nothing and just wait for him to come back... Aisi realtionship mein rehke bhi kya faayda where whole time you are only going to do shak and doubt but well I guess "Forgive and forget" is the new motto for saving relationship. 😆

Jaise aap aajate hai pravachan dene keliye kisi opposing pov ko invalid kehne ke liye.

@guilty : completely with you on respecting each other views and agreeing to disagree. And humko koi award nahi milte agar koi humare opinion ko zyada likes denge toh. All everyone wants is to come post, discuss and go. not to have holier than thou attitude floating around to dismiss every opinion as pravachan

Originally posted by: Peanutbolt

Jaise aap aajate hai pravachan dene keliye kisi opposing pov ko invalid kehne ke liye.

@guilty : completely with you on respecting each other views and agreeing to disagree. And humko koi award nahi milte agar koi humare opinion ko zyada likes denge toh. All everyone wants is to come post, discuss and go. not to have holier than thou attitude floating around to dismiss every opinion as pravachan

I think this quote AGREE TO DISAGREE should be a pinned post on the top of the forum. So that each time a posts crops up and members gang up they are reminded of this simple thing.🤣🤣

Originally posted by: Anvi2009

I am with you on Imlie and Malini,😊 however, I disagree regarding Aditya.😳

Imlie is the strong person that she is, all thanks to Mithi and Satyakaam. But she has her own flaws too.

Malini, I can understand that she is not as strong as Imlie and that is totally okay. Not all of them can be mentally strong women. Anu is right in her thinking about their relationship but is extremely wrong in her behavior with Malini and how she treats Aditya in front of Malini. The toxicity that Anu is spreading in Malini's life has a lot to do with Malini not being able to handle her relationship downfall with Aditya. Anu has always been right in saying that Aditya does not love Malini. A man who can never prioritize his girlfriend in 7 years of relationship, how is he going to prioritize his wife. We as audience clearly saw that as a big warning sign that this relationship is doomed. When you love someone, you might prioritize your job sometimes, probably most of the time, but not all the time. And Malini ignored this before marriage. After marriage, right away she started feeling the undercurrent of their shifting relationship. She had no idea how to confront Aditya if both of them were in disagreement. To her, after 7 years of relationship, was shocking that they are disagreeing all the time when before they always agreed with each other. Big warning sign again.

To me, Malini totally feels her relationship is going down the drain but is unable to save it. As it is, saving a relationship should be done by both, the husband and wife. It should not always be one person's responsibility. She is not able to confront Aditya the way it is needed but that does not mean she deserves the pain. Her world revolves around Aditya, she is scared of losing him, and she cannot see a life without Aditya in it. But you cannot hold on to a relationship if one of them has given up. I wished she had someone strong to support her right now to help her get through this pain. And Aditya is very aware of the pain he is causing Malini. That is why I disagree with you about Aditya.

I hated how Aditya behaved with Imlie after forced marriage as if she was not a victim also as much as he was. But I understood where he was coming from. I understood his character though I did not like him. It took a lot of time for Aditya to accept that Imlie is a victim too. I think he consciously accepted that after the Dil se scene in Pagdandiya. Deep down he always knew that Imlie was a victim too that is why he protected and cared for her between forced marriage and second trip to Pagdandiya. And he was also always honest with Imlie. That is why Imlie was able to understand Aditya too.

As for Aditya with Malini, I think he tried real hard to salvage that relationship but when Imlie left him forever, he lost it. He lost whatever control he had and hurt Malini by leaving without any clarification. Like his father advised him, he first needs to resolve his thoughts before he can resolve the relationship. So he left for Pagdandiya to seek answers. He did not know then what to tell his family and Malini as he himself was not aware of why he was feeling like that.

But I do feel after the car trunk conversation that Aditya is very much aware of the hurt he is causing Malini. He wants to tell her the truth and that is what he was telling Imlie too. That he cannot keep Malini happy, not only because of his feelings for Imlie, but just that he cannot feel the same for Malini. It is less to do with Imlie and more to do with him realizing he never loved Malini in the first place. The only thing stopping him from talking to Malini is his fear of Malini's mental health. And he is not wrong here. He tried telling her the truth about his forced marriage but Malini fainted and the doctor advised him to be careful with her. But now, Aditya needs to start testing waters with Malini again. He is allowed to enjoy his life with Imlie but he also has to constantly think about how to deal with Malini. There needs to be a balance here and I think the writers have shown that balance. He is building a relationship with Imlie and at the same time worrying about Malini and how to end his relationship with her. He also told Imlie in the car trunk conversation that he has to hurt Malini once so that all of them can move on in life. So I feel Aditya is very aware of the pain he is causing to Malini and he is trying to figure out the best way to deal with her.

Hi Anvi. Thank you for your post. I agree completely with your thoughts with respect to Malini.

with respect to Aditya, I am not questioning the validity of his feelings for imlie nor his realization of his hollow relationship with Malini. He has every right to feel whatever he wants to. My issue comes where it is always about his feelings. He doesn't think how his actions corresponding to the feelings he has are affecting people involved in the situation. Initially, it was Imlie now it is malini. Tomorrow he feels, he might be wrong in having feelings for imlie, then he will back to hurting people again. Maybe it could be his character flaw, but he has once done that mistake with Imlie, why can't he think of his actions now with Malini. I don't care what conversations he has with Imlie and how 'worried' he says he is about malini...his actions are completely different, the way he behaves with malini nowadays and around imlie in front of everyone, better he tells malini the truth. It is messing up her mental health anyway with the constant doubts and frustration.

If the answer to him being like this is pyaar mein aisa hota hai, pyaar is like this-then i can only think of how old is aditya to completely lack the ability to think and act objectively 😊

Newbie here on the forums - I find this show fascinating. Again and again it makes us turn a mirror on to ourselves and our implicit biases as individuals and as a society. It makes us question what we can or cannot accept. Psychologically- it’s an exquisite puzzle and love it or hate it - it is definitely not tepid and will provoke a reaction in you. Like they say about a popular piece of art- it’s about how it makes you feel.

As a newbie who finds some of the scenes breath taking and worthy of watching again and again- I must say it does hurt and jar me to read ugly comments and trolls on the leads ages, appearances etc . I can of course choose not the read them but often you can’t tell what a person is going to say until you read the post. So yes- I agree that it would be nice if people were sensitive to this. Sometimes to enjoy these romances you have to be in a particular bubble and after my last foray into the anti- Adilie camp- I wish I had not read the forums. But also sometimes you feel like sharing with like minds, so here I am again.

As I have written in another thread - none of the leads are at fault. They have been thrown into these circumstances. I feel for each of them. Even though Aditya’s logical mind might say his Pagdandiya marriage to Imlie May not be valid - at some level the rituals did matter to him perhaps not to the extent that Imlie believes but still... To quote the famous Ms. Khushi Kumari Gupta SR- baat sach ya jhoot ka nahin hain, baat vishwas ki hai.’ And in the end it’s faith in a marriage that gives it life.

And Aditya- Imlie’s is a unique bond . He has always been challenged and thrown out of his comfort zone with her. But he is a person who loves that- that is reflected in his career choice as well of being a reporter. And Imlie is incredibly special - even in her OTT antics (kudos to the actress for pulling off some of it in a manner that’s bearable to those of us who can’t take OTTs) . But on another level in Adilie’s relationship -to have someone take a bullet for you- that is something else.

And the honest thing is there is no logic or rules to love- as Imlie herself realizes quite early on- she and Aditya are perfectly mismatched and yet he falls for her in a way he never had for Malini. And for her - he is the brave reporter willing to put his life at stake to bring justice, the person who helps her Dadda walk freely, who has never ever considered her to be a ‘gawar’ as the villagers have come to expect from the ‘shehris’ and this above all makes her fall for him than merely the fact that he is her husband.

Now from her side - Malini is right in feeling puzzled at Aditya’s behavior and perhaps subconsciously she has realized that he doesn’t love her - waiting for someone for 7 years is awfully long - but chooses to ignore it just like Lavanya did with Arnav in IPKKND. Or perhaps compared to her parents marriage or even (speculating)that of her mother’s friends - Aditya’s amiability towards her is mistaken for love. And compared to the bitter battleground her parent’s marriage is- she sees the predictability in her marriage and how perfectly her choices meet Aditya’s - as secure and comforting. Sadly she hasn’t realized that parallel lines never meet.She should have left him ages ago and didnt. Being rejected is hard and she does have my sympathy- even if it turns her character ugly. It’s hard to be rejected - I am sure many of us have been there - some of us will sacrifice our ego and self respect for our notion of love - hanging on to relationships that should have been abandoned. I am sure many married women (and men) in India and elsewhere do do that- so I think her reactions and the way she is changing is to be expected.

There is no real clean way for Aditya to handle this. It’s messy and as he says after his first fight with her (that had nothing to do with Imlie and rather their social statuses)”I should have kept quiet- if I keep talking, I will be the bad person’. Perhaps he should be sensitive to Malini but see where that approach has got him. May be he is tired of floating with his feet in two boats. And to those who say he should act a little bit more mature in love- that he is a grown man- that’s why it’s called being crazy in love. To quote Billy Crystal in ‘When Harry met Sally’- “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

Of course the shows writers can’t let go of Malini yet- half the drama is gone if she does the logical thing and leaves her loveless marriage. And she herself cannot let go without a fight.

I also find it so interesting to read in some of the comments how easily some people have accepted Imlie in a servants role- because of the way she looks speaks and her perceived poverty.As Prakash says to Imlie - his family thinks you are the servant and you can sense her shock because to her - she has always been the bahu and she is just play acting as the help. Imagine how painful that is from her point of view - in her village she was such a special person - poised to be the most highly educated girl from her village. She has every right to every moment she spends with Adi. But yes I doubt every one thinks the same way and As the story unfolds, It will be very interesting to see if Prakash is proven right and how exactly broad minded the Tripathis are.

Originally posted by: pamk06

Did you see her smiling yesterday? Did she look like a women in turmoil or worried about her relationship, or barely holding on to it? She looked pretty happy to me tasting kadhi chawal as if everything is perfect in her world. There was not even one sign of discomfort or worry on her face indicating that she had just caught her husband taking pictures of a woman who is making her question her own relationship since past few days. And no, please do not justify that she was doing it for the family because we all know she has no qualms making tamesha in front of the family.

I am not expecting her to be Jhansi ki rani or bold. I just want her to act like a professor she is, a normal women fighting for her marriage questioning Aditya about the lie, his four missing days, and the photos yesterday. Turning a blind eye to things is what she is doing then why blame Aditya for not telling the truth because apparently she does not want or is not ready to face the truth herself. Lets put the blame where it is due. Totally not saying that Aditya is not at fault but she is also not "doodh ki dooli" as the claim is going.

Just because she is smiling that does not mean she is not in turmoil. Ever since the marriage, she has felt restless. She has acknowledged to Aditya, her dadi, his family, her family that she is feeling the change in their relationship. She has sought advice from her dadi and her father. Malini is not perfect, she causes drama, guilt trips Aditya, but the bottom line is she is unable to correctly deal with such drastic changes in her life. But I must say she is trying the best way she can. She has no idea why Aditya is behaving the way he is. Yes, she can join the dots to get her answer but she is scared. And she is allowed to be scared, ignore the truth, be in denial. Not all of them can be mentally strong. And being a professor has nothing to do with one's mental strength when dealing with personal relationships. Her 7 years of relationship is going down the drain and we are constantly seeing her POV in all this. Kudos to the writers in showing her flaws and her pain.

Irrespective of the fact if she is turning a blind eye or not (I don't think she is turning a blind eye completely, just to some of the issues), it is Aditya's duty to tell Malini the truth. The longer he waits the more pain he will cause her and he is aware of this. That is why he told Imlie in the car that he has to hurt Malini one time. I can understand Aditya causing her pain when he himself is in turmoil. But after returning from Pagdandiya, he is very clear in his mind who he wants to live with and how he sees his future. And the thing is Aditya is thinking about all this. He is seeing her pain. He is not ignoring her pain. But he also remembers clearly that she had fainted the last time he tried to tell her the truth. So he is worried about her mental health too. The story is ongoing, it has not ended. So we have to wait and see what he does next. Again kudos to the writers for showing Aditya's flaws and his though process clearly too.

Really, I do not have much complaints in the writing department. How rare it is in ITV. 😆