Can loving someone too much can also be toxic? - Page 3

Originally posted by: AK_2010

Quite a possibility.

But I think he was a bad parent not a bad person. His life revolves around Astha more than it should. Had Anokhi not been Astha's student... Would he test her the same? Nope.

I am sorry but I don't think Shaan loves Astha as much as he and rest of the Sabherwals believe he does.

It strikes me odd that in all these years when Devi was brainwashing Shaurya, not once did he tell his son that his mom is not as bad as he is led to believe. There were situations that forced her to leave. He seems to convey to Shaurya that he needs to respect Astha not because she loved him dearly but because she is his mother. It is completely reasonable why Shaurya hates her with an vengeance.

This to me seems to be a case of extremely strong woman and very weak husband. If the narrative so far is to be believed, Astha left to take care of her parents and decided to sacrifice her family for it. It does not make any sense, did her parents not ask her to reconsider? Did she not have other options? Why did she stay away so far away? Why did she not communicate with Shaan just to stay connected to Shaurya and know him better even if it was not in person.

If Shaan loved her so much, why did he not leave with her (he said in an episode that his identity stems from being a Sabherwal). Even if he decided to stay back, why did he not take care of his son? He did not even chase his wife as was his right as her husband. Instead he chose to drown himself in alcohol and get humiliated every day while his son was getting instigated against his mother. Does that seem like love, it seems more like a guilt ridden and emasculated person. It took only a small blackmail from Devi to get him to agree to divorcing Astha. I wonder why Devi waited so long, they could have got this done years back. Where is the love, where is the fire and the courage to fight back?

I want this couple to think what Shaurya went through- he did not understand why his birth parents did not love him and abandoned him and that probably took a toll at his self worth (there was some manipulation from Devi but truth is he was abandoned). His father was humiliated and mother was bad-mouthed everyday while Devi and Tej constantly made him feel like charity case and someone they sacrificed so much for that they did not even have their own kid. He is living a fake life, no one truly knows him. I also think he is very smart and understands a lot more than others give him credit for.

Originally posted by: dramacrazy12

I am sorry but I don't think Shaan loves Astha as much as he and rest of the Sabherwals believe he does.

It strikes me odd that in all these years when Devi was brainwashing Shaurya, not once did he tell his son that his mom is not as bad as he is led to believe. There were situations that forced her to leave. He seems to convey to Shaurya that he needs to respect Astha not because she loved him dearly but because she is his mother. It is completely reasonable why Shaurya hates her with an vengeance.

This to me seems to be a case of extremely strong woman and very weak husband. If the narrative so far is to be believed, Astha left to take care of her parents and decided to sacrifice her family for it. It does not make any sense, did her parents not ask her to reconsider? Did she not have other options? Why did she stay away so far away? Why did she not communicate with Shaan just to stay connected to Shaurya and know him better even if it was not in person.

If Shaan loved her so much, why did he not leave with her (he said in an episode that his identity stems from being a Sabherwal). Even if he decided to stay back, why did he not take care of his son? He did not even chase his wife as was his right as her husband. Instead he chose to drown himself in alcohol and get humiliated every day while his son was getting instigated against his mother. Does that seem like love, it seems more like a guilt ridden and emasculated person. It took only a small blackmail from Devi to get him to agree to divorcing Astha. I wonder why Devi waited so long, they could have got this done years back. Where is the love, where is the fire and the courage to fight back?

I want this couple to think what Shaurya went through- he did not understand why his birth parents did not love him and abandoned him and that probably took a toll at his self worth (there was some manipulation from Devi but truth is he was abandoned). His father was humiliated and mother was bad-mouthed everyday while Devi and Tej constantly made him feel like charity case and someone they sacrificed so much for that they did not even have their own kid. He is living a fake life, no one truly knows him. I also think he is very smart and understands a lot more than others give him credit for.

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

True extreme love or hatred can be toxic holds true in this case. And this toxicity is not born by the partner but by the child. In an ideal world what you said made sense. Shaan's inaction was a huge mistake.

elaborate on this please.

also what i am saying is not something that is expected in an ideal world. i am talking about responsibilities of parents towards their child. the world we live in they dont change with the setting of the world. ideal or flawed, it is expected from parents to prioritize their child. that is why people plan for child now and not just have them on a whim.

Originally posted by: john909

elaborate on this please.

also what i am saying is not something that is expected in an ideal world. i am talking about responsibilities of parents towards their child. the world we live in they dont change with the setting of the world. ideal or flawed, it is expected from parents to prioritize their child. that is why people plan for child now and not just have them on a whim.

And I did agree with your point about Parents making sacrifices and putting their children as top priority. If you can't take their responsibility you shouldn't have become a parent then.

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

This might be an unpopular opinion but I think as a Parent you can't be selfish and think about only yourself and your happiness. You have to make sacrifices for your child. If you are unwilling to do that then you probably shouldn't take a responsibility of being a parent and not have a kid. Shaan and Astha only thought about themselves, Shaan of his sorrow of loosing Astha and Astha about her parents and self respect. Shaurya now loathes showing emotions. Devi has made him into a unfeeling robot. They keep on feeding him to not feel deeply and not express his emotions because he has experienced the result of too much emotional attachment.

They were loving parents. Shaurya was happy and loved.

Idk the backstory as I started watching after the hug - but I'm guessing from the posts here.

Which parent doesn't?

Sacrifice doesn't come with a manual and guideline - that if you act in this way, at this moment, only then you are a successful parent.

@bold: Then most of us wouldn't be here. 😆

I am a child of absentee parent's. My parent's lived in a different country to me. My physical situation was different to Shaurya but emotional was similar. I like how the cv's are layering his character with truly how a child comes out of this mess and their outlook in life.

I can sit here and blame my parent's, which I have done, but it's not going to change my past and just continue to haunt my future. There was so much going on and they did what they 'thought' was 'best' for their child. Yes, the traumas and wounds are there, but like I mentioned in my first post even the best of parent's lack in so many ways.

In any profession has someone being responsible for another below them. Not everyone gets it right and not every time either. That doesn't mean people just leave their profession because they cannot take the responsibility and fulfil it perfectly. Whether we're studying or working there's people impacting us with their behaviours daily,and leaving an imprint on our outlook of life.

That's why I said - parent's are only humans. And mistakes is a part of being human.

Originally posted by: Nomadic_Vibe

My post is regarding Shaan's love for his "Noor". Is Shaan the first Indian Male character who unconditionally and deeply loves his wife so much that he stopped loving anyone else including his son. I mean if anyone can recall a Father on ITV who loved his separated wife so much. I recall the example of Shravan in EDV where his father poisoned his son's head for his mother. It's always the Father instigating his son against the woman who left him or It's the other way around where the Father has left his child and mother who still loves her husband. In both of those scenarios usually the ML learns hate and are turned off from showing emotions and love. My question was by loving Astha too much has Shaan turned off Shaurya's ability to love and be normal and express his emotion seeing it as a sign of weakness. Usually the hate of one parent can turn off the off spring from that emotion but can loving someone too much can do the same?

Am looking forward to some great insights.

Shaan

I feel he is in love with the feeling of lovenot with anyone 🤣

If he unconditionally loved Aastha why he did not stand up for her or stay with her😵

Why is he so defeated all the time ?

What is it with him that he has to abide by Devi & Tej ???to the extent of destroying his own family life 🤔

He is in a situation - Na Ghar ka na ghaat ka

Na sabharwal ka na kashyap ka 😆

Such a majboor & Bebass character 🤪

Khalid is a good actor hope they don’t waste him on screen 🤢

Shaan is a very poorly written character tbh

Some of the other characters have complexity but Shaan is very one note it seems ...he is kinda sad and pathetic ...either Asthas puppet or Tejs puppet

Originally posted by: brat2008

Shaan

I feel he is in love with the feeling of lovenot with anyone 🤣

If he unconditionally loved Aastha why he did not stand up for her or stay with her😵

Why is he so defeated all the time ?

What is it with him that he has to abide by Devi & Tej ???to the extent of destroying his own family life 🤔

He is in a situation - Na Ghar ka na ghaat ka

Na sabharwal ka na kashyap ka 😆

Such a majboor & Bebass character 🤪

Khalid is a good actor hope they don’t waste him on screen 🤢

Originally posted by: silvermoonlight

Shaan is a very poorly written character tbh

Some of the other characters have complexity but Shaan is very one note it seems ...he is kinda sad and pathetic ...either Asthas puppet or Tejs puppet