Arshi SS: The Meeting!

Hi Guys,

I wrote this story a long time ago and kinda left it incomplete on the forum. Since I couldn't go back and update it, I made a blog for it. So I'm guessing some of you must have read it before.

But now with the lockdown and routines being disrupted, my mind keeps coming back here to read stories of our everlasting duo.

This is my ode to them and their journey. If you've read it before...welcome back nonetheless. If you haven't, its good to see you. This is my first and only Short Story... I'm not the ardent writer like some of you guys here, so please don't expect more.

So, without any further rambling....

THE MEETING!

This a story of pain, of hurt, of anguish, of family torn by secrets, paths altered by truth, lives lost by grief and above all else, pure, unconditional and unfailing love!

This is my Khushi & my Arnav and this is their story to each other!

We pick up the story, 2 years after Payal & Akash’s wedding although in a very different situation.

CHAPTER 1

“Get out! Get away from here and don’t ever come back” Khushi woke in a cold sweat! Those words, those eyes, that raw disgust oozing out of those caramel depths, she felt it around her, piercing her, killing her! She checked the clock on the bedside table…3 am. She reached for the glass of water she kept on her table before bed every night. Trying to calm herself and go back to what she knew would only be a troubled, distressed sleep.

It had been 2 years, 2 years since that fateful night. 2 years since she lost everything but she could still feel his anger in those words. She still woke to the same nightmare every night. Those eyes haunted her…eyes that didn’t ask for any explanation, eyes that didn’t see her pain, eyes that only showed her the cold heartless human being that he was.

But the dreams were more frequent now. She felt she was being watched even in broad daylight. She could see parts of him when she turned the street, when she reached the gate of the school she now taught in. She thought she saw his SUV parked outside the hostel that she now called home. But how could this be. No one knew where she was. No one even knew when or why she left. She left only taking her Devi Maiyya statue and a few rupees she managed to save from the tuitions she used to give. She was lost to the people she called her own once upon a time. Lost even to those who knew her now, because no one really knew her! She didn’t want anyone too…so how could he have.

Was it him? Has he come to get her? No she told herself. No!

She tried to put herself back to sleep. Tomorrow was another day of school. Another day to bring joy to the lives of poor desolate children! Joy that she herself never left. But when did she ever put her needs before that of another? Especially those that needed her. “sleep Khushi…it will be better. It has to get better!” she kept repeating this mantra hoping her mind will relax and sleep will follow.

School was hectic as usual, but Khushi put her heart and mind into it. This was the only distraction she had in life. The only thing that kept her sane! She loved those kids, kind, innocent hearts that had only seen pain, orphaned like her, abused and ill-treated. Bringing sunshine to their lives mattered even if she lived in darkness.

It was 6 pm when she found herself back at the entrance of her hostel in Mumbai, the furthest place she could get to that night. They took her in without much questioning seeing the state she was in and also helped her find this teaching job at a nearby school. But today when she stood there looking at the board outside the gate, something was different. She could feel the change in the air, it was as if the universe was trying to tell her something, something she was too afraid to believe in, she was scared to let herself fall again. Not now…not when she had tried so hard to regain some normalcy. But still…she felt it…

All it took was one step into the hostel lobby to get her answers. There he was! The man who had haunted her dreams for the last 2 years. The man who had destroyed a life that she built from broken pieces. The man who was the very reason she was here today.

But he wasn’t that same man. He was different somehow…those eyes that spoke so much, were quiet now. But in their quietness was hidden something else. Something deeper…was it regret? No! The great mighty Arnav Singh Raizada didn’t feel regret. Then why was she seeing it? Why was he here? He shouldn’t be here! He can’t be here!

She looked away from him and walked on, almost as if that moment didn’t happen. She took two steps more before she heard him…

“Khushi!” her name was a plea from his mouth. Her heart told her to stop and turn, listen to him but her feet kept moving.

“Khushi!” he called again, louder this time… “Khushi we need to talk” those words made her stop.

She turned around to look straight at him…his eyes…they looked dejected, troubled, hurt. She wanted to reach out to him and calm him, comfort him. She began to step toward him but stopped…she couldn’t do this. Not now! Not here! She turned and started walking away.

“Khushi how many times have I told you not to walk away when I’m talking to you?”

Anger this time! She could never forget this tone…this anger had become the bane of her existence. She stilled and turned around. She met his eyes again, both blazing fire and anger at each other.

He strode towards her, determined this time to get her to listen to him. He’d watched her enough for the last week, ever since Aman saw her when he was in Mumbai. That chance sighting made him drop everything in Delhi and head to Bombay. His search for her was finally over. Finally he could tell her everything that he’d wanted to tell her since the last 2 years. But she still wouldn’t listen to him. He knew this wouldn’t be easy but Arnav Singh Raizada never gave up and he would never give up till he made her listen to what he had at say.

He held her arm and led her towards to lift. “Which floor Khushi?” he asked looking at the lift. “You haven’t managed to find that out yet?” she spat back at him, anger shining through her words.

“Don’t use that tone with me Khushi. Which floor?” “3rd” she let out and pressed the call button before her could. His hand holding her arm was the only thing keeping her up. Her knees would’ve buckled a long time ago. But the anger she now felt building up in her gave her strength to go on. She pulled her arm away making him stare back at her, almost afraid she would run.

The lift came and she opened the gates and stepped inside waiting for him to enter. They rode the elevator in silence and walked to her room. She opened the door and entered, not waiting for him to enter before her. She put on the only lights she had in the room. Twinkling lights that adorned the top of her bed. The only reminder she had of all those she had lost, some forever and some for…?

She didn’t know! Today maybe she would get her answers…today maybe she would know how long this exile would last. But she wouldn’t say anything. She resolved to herself to only let him speak and then let him leave. Nothing would change no matter what he says. She would decide what to do after she’d heard him…alone! This for once, would be her decision!

She sat down on her bed waiting for him to begin. He paced her room, scanning for anything, any memories of her past life, pictures, names anything…but apart from the lights there was nothing. Seeing her here over the past week was a shock to his system. What had she become? Had she really done this to herself? Had she really given up so easily? Was it so easy for her to forget? Everyone? Everything? Them? He knew she hadn’t moved on…he could see it in her walk, in the way her smile never reached her eyes, in the way her clothes had lost their chamkili-ness just like the rest of her.

Over the one week he watched her, he planned in his mind what he would say. What he would tell her, how he would say it. But now seeing her sitting here, the quiet calm, the stiffness in her posture, the submissive nature that was never the Khushi Kumari Gupta he knew…he didn’t know where to begin, how to begin…

“Why didn’t you tell me?” when all else failed, the mighty ASR did the one thing he knew…accused!

She sat quiet…pretending not to hear his almost whisper of a question… “why didn’t you tell me?” this time it was louder but the accusation was less so.

“Tell you what?” she asked, calm even though she suspected where this was going.

“About Shyam”

“Oh?” her guess was right. “How did you find out?”

“After everything that happened between…us…I kept an eye on him. I realised he’d been stealing money off Di…”

“Huh! Money! So it finally took some money going out of your bank accounts for you to realise what a snake Shyamji was?”

“Don’t call him that!” he bit out at her. “Payal told me what happened and how he had cheated your family…I threw him out…got Di a divorce from him. I couldn’t put him in jail which I wanted to do but he was still Di’s husband at the time so his stealing didn’t count.”

“When did you find out about me and ShyamJi…” she stressed on the ji…a subtle reminder that he couldn’t force her anymore… “Before jiji told you?”

“I saw you’ll on the terrace…I heard you telling him to leave Di if she meant nothing to him… I couldn’t stand there and watch you in his arms…he was Di’s husband and you…”

“What does this have to do with me?” she asked, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible.

“I know the truth now Khushi…I know the truth…I know I was wrong…I believe you now” he said begging her to believe, wanting her to raise her eyes and look at him, see that he was hurting too.. see that he was sorry, even though he couldn’t get himself to say it. Something’s hadn’t changed.

“Till when?” she asked almost a whisper… “Till when will you believe me?” she looked straight at him, at his confused bewildered look. Surely this wasn’t what he was accepting.

“I asked till when will you believe me Mr. Raizada… a month? A year? Or till something happens to your precious Di again and I become an easy target?”

“Don’t bring Di into this Khushi!” the anger rising in him now. She knew what his Di meant to him.

“Why not?” her voice rising slightly in anger and frustration. “Why not Mr. Raizada? Isn’t this all about her? Isn’t everything about her? Isn’t she all that matters?”

She couldn’t sit still any longer…she rose from the bed heading towards the only window in the room. He was standing at the foot of the bed, eyes on her all the time…trying his level best to control the bubbling anger in him. Why was she talking about Di like that? Couldn’t she understand what he was saying? What he wasn’t saying?

“Khushi it’s not like that…”

“Everything is like that Mr. Raizada…it was always about your Di! What happened 2 years ago was about your Di! Your precious Di!” her anger was rising now! She finally had answers to what happened to her…of why she lost everything! She didn’t know if she could stop now. She needed him to know what he had done to her because…because of his Di!

“Your Di is the reason I’m here today…your Di is the reason I don’t have a family today because you were afraid I was stealing her of hers! Your Di is the reason I couldn’t stay to watch my sister get married because you were afraid I was breaking her marriage! Your Diis the reason I lost everything because you didn’t bother to ask me my side of the story! Your Di is the reason I’m not with the man I love today because he didn’t stop to consider the truth!”

The words were out before she could stop herself…they were looking at each other now…that sudden slip of the truth that she wanted to keep hidden, coming to the fore. She had to step back, retract her steps…he didn’t have to know this…he didn’t have to know anything…

“Your Di is the reason for all I’m going through and have been through Mr. Raizada and you come in here and demand to speak to me and then ask me why I didn’t tell you? Tell you what? Did you even ask? Did you stand there on that terrace and hear the whole thing? Or did you just jump to your own conclusions like you always do?”

He could see the hurt in her eyes now… she wasn’t hiding anything now…she loved him or did she say love? He wasn’t quite sure…he needed to tell her he was sorry…he needed her to understand that 2 years were hard on him too…his life was as damaged as her was…he needed her to understand him like she always did…just this once when it mattered the most. He needed her to understand…no he just needed her! And in that moment he didn’t know what else to do except…

She saw as he dropped to his knees right before her…head bowed in an apology she was hoping to hear from his mouth…eyes imploring her to listen to him…to give him a chance to say what he has kept buried within him all these years…asking her forgiveness for the life he stole from her…begging her…pleading to her…silently.

She wanted to rush to him…pick him and put him back together again. She couldn’t see him like this, this broken! This damaged! She could see the fight in his eyes…his Di or her…the woman he worshipped as a god…or the woman he…he what? She didn’t know what she was to him…he never told her…then why? Why was he here…on his knees…in front of her?

“Khushi…” the voice was softer now…filled with regret and hurt… “Khushi… I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m here, on my knees begging you to forgive me…I thought I was doing the right thing for Di…but I didn’t realise I was doing the wrong thing by you. Khushi these two years have been hard on me and Di…”

All she could hear through this was Di and that word sickened her now…she was the same woman she tried to protect, tried to keep from harm, took her for her older sister…the same woman who was responsible for her current state…and he still thought of her first!

She moved calmly from the window, not wanting to show the hurt she felt anymore. This wasn’t what she needed, she was fine without it…she needed some fresh air…she needed to breathe normally again…she needed him to leave.

She walked to the door not looking at him but knowing his eyes were on her… “Kneeling doesn’t suit you Mr. Raizada! And I’d like you to leave!”

CHAPTER 2

Had she really asked him to leave? He looked at her almost not believing what he heard but what he saw in her eyes made him believe. There was strength there and determination. Strength that he himself didn’t think he had.

He rose slowly, looking at her all the time. He didn’t miss the slight tremble of her hands. Her resolve wasn’t that strong after all. He walked towards the door slowly, held the door knob and shut the door.

“I’m not leaving Khushi…not until you’ve heard everything I’ve had to say” shock registered on her face. Shock that soon turned to anger…

“You are leaving Mr. Raizada and I’m done listening to you. Do not make me call security!”

“Khushi I know this is hard for you but please listen to me…let me say what I came here to say and then I promise you I’ll leave! Trust me this once Khushi!”

Should she trust him? Did he really deserve her trust? Her mind was at war with her heart here. When it came to Arnav Singh Raizada, this inner turmoil was always present and like always the heart won the battle.

Resigned, she sat on the chair indicating that he could continue. Eyes downcast, staring at a spot on the floor. She could see him move back from the door and make his way to her bed. He sat down on it and she could feel the heat of his gaze on her the whole time.

“Khushi, when I saw you on the terrace in his arms my world crashed! I couldn’t believe that I was deceived by the man I had trusted my sister with. Khushi, Di was all I had, ever since…ever since…she was all I had. And I had resolved a long time ago that I would protect her, not let any harm come near her. What I saw on the terrace only showed me that I had failed. Khushi…I didn’t know what to do. I had to tell Di, I had to tell her how she’d been cheated…but…but then I found out about the pregnancy and I saw how happy she was…I couldn’t take that away from her…I couldn’t steal her happiness after everything that had happened to her…to us…Khushi I was lost…I felt myself falling through this dark hole where there was no sign of light…Khushi I didn’t know what to do!”

“So you thought that by getting rid of me all your problems would end? All your Di’s problems would end? Did you think that little of me? Did you think that I would do something like that to you or your family? Did you not stop to think about me?” the anger was rising in her again…she could understand his pain…his suffering…she always could…but did that justify what he did to her? Did that justify what her life had become?No…she wasn’t going to give in this easily…she had been wronged and she had paid the price of someone else’s sins for far too long…this had to end.

“Khushi… I’m…I’m sorry…I’m really sorry!” his voice was filled with regret and hurt. He wanted her to believe that he was really sorry. He didn’t think straight when he was angry and she knew it…he expected her to fight back that day…like she always did…but she didn’t! She just walked away…he was sorry…if only she looked at him she would know…

“You’re sorry? You’re sorry??? What exactly are you sorry about Mr. Raizada?” she couldn’t sit in one place anymore…the anger…the frustration getting to her…after 2 years all she gets is a sorry!!

“What exactly are you sorry for? Are you sorry for ruining my life? For taking my family away from me? For the nightmares that have hounded my sleep? For making me an orphan again? For what exactly are you sorry? Or are you sorry that I’m not the reason your Di’s life fell apart?”

That was it! He couldn’t take the disgust he heard in her voice! She could say anything she wanted to him but not about his Di. He was in front of her in 2 quick strides and holding her by her arms, forcing her to look at him. She flinched at his touch…pain searing through…she looked at him…angry and hurt…tears that she tried to keep at bay were making its presence known now… what was this?

“Don’t talk like this about Di! You don’t know what these two years have been like!” he growled at her

She pushed with all her strength… “I don’t know what it’s been like? I don’t know? Do you know what it’s been like…for me? Do you have any idea?” each question interjected with a push, moving him as far away from her that she could…who the hell does he think he is?

He grabbed both her arms and turned her around…his anger rising every second…he moved till her back hit the wall. Staring at her the whole time…he could see the pain in her eyes now…the hurt…the fright also…all he wanted to do was take that pain away…that’s why he came here…that’s what he wanted to do…but her grief was a lot deeper… a lot more than he could imagine and he didn’t blame her.

“Whatever happened that night…what I saw…what I felt…nothing made sense! I thought…I thought… I didn’t think right Khushi…and for that I’m sorry…for forcing you to leave…I’m sorry…for taking your life away from you…I’m sorry! For all this pain I caused you…I’m sorry!” he released her hands, his voice soft, remorseful.

She looked at him almost in tears now…she could see the pain in his eyes, there was more he wasn’t telling her…she could see it…his eyes always told her more than his words ever did…there was more…but she didn’t know if she had the strength to listen to anymore…she didn’t know if her heart could stand it…but she didn’t want him to leave now…through all this she felt a strange comfort having him here. 2 years of dreaming what he would be like today, 2 years of imagining back in her life…he was here now and her heart didn’t want him to leave. She turned her face away from his gaze…she couldn’t look at him…she didn’t want him to see the battle her heart and mind were wagging at this moment.

“You are coming back home with me, tomorrow morning.”

“Excuse me?” she couldn’t believe it…did he just order her again? “I’m not going anywhere with you Mr. Raizada.”

“Don’t be like this Khushi…you are coming back with me tomorrow…for your parents if no one else!”

Her parents…her amma babuji. Not a day had gone by without her thinking of them…she cried for them every night…she prayed to DevIMaiyya for them everyday…her legs couldn’t support her anymore…and slid to the floor. The sudden thump made him turn to see her sitting there…head in her hands…he could hear her soft cries… he moved towards her and went down in front of her.

“They are fine Khushi…your babuji is getting the best treatment from the top most doctors in Delhi…he is getting better” he spoke slowly…softly…trying to reassure her with his words…he could see the fear in her eyes when she looked at him…fear for her father’s health…for her mother…

She didn’t know what came over her but she couldn’t stop herself…she threw her arms around him and hugged him hard…pouring all her pain…all her grief into that hug…she found solace in his arms…that hadn’t changed and she felt comfort when his hands wrapped around her too, holding her, comforting her, consoling her…this is what she longed for these two years…his touch, his warmth…she dreamt of how his arms would be…around her…holding her…caressing her…she wanted to hold on to him

“Take me home” through her sobs and cries, these 3 words told him that his battle of bringing Khushi back was half won… he would take her home and he would bring her back…back to the Khushi Kumari Gupta he knew and…and loved!

CHAPTER 3

6 months later

Khushi walked into the Raizada Mansion for her regular visits. Amma and Babuji had moved into the Raizada House at Arnav’s insistence when the truth of Shyam finally came out. Buaji, however chose to stay back at Laxmi Nagar not wanting to impose too much on her Payaliya’s in laws.

Ever since her return, Khushi spent most of her time at Buaji’s place, coming to RM either in the morning or evening to visit her parents. Somehow her frail heart could not stand to be in the same house as Anjali and Arnav yet. It was too broken…it was too wounded. She needed to distance herself…she needed to pick up the pieces of her life and carry on.

As she stepped into the house she saw her Amma and Jiji conversing in the dining room. These months since she’s been back, she’s got to see a more confident side of her sister’s personality. Having someone love you immensely and defend you against everyone including their own mother, sure did boost your ego, she mused. Seeing the smile on her Jiji’s face and happiness in her eyes, she knew that the 2 years she spent away was worth it.

Standing in the doorway she could just picture the scene of her return as if it happened yesterday…

6 months ago

She walked into the house following behind Arnav, hesitant steps not wanting to go further. She didn’t know how she would face them. For the first time in her life, Khushi felt ashamed. Her feet stopped at the threshold…her eyes stuck on the floor. Arnav realized he could no longer hear her footsteps. Fearing the worst, he turned around in an instant. He saw her and even though she wasn’t looking at him, he could read every emotion and every thought running through her. He took a few steps back and reached her. Gently he caught her hand in his, startling her and making her look up at him. With his eyes he conveyed his words…comforting her, giving her strength. He heaved a sigh as he saw her take the first step forward.

The family was assembled in the living room, Arnav already having informed them that they were arriving. When they saw the two of them walking in, silence filled the room. Khushi couldn’t raise her eyes to see any of them; she just couldn’t look at them. Amma came forward and placed her hand under Khushi’s chin making her meet her eyes. When their eyes met, the tears Khushi had been holding back burst through and she found herself lunging at her Amma and weeping away. “sshh Khusi…it’s ok bitiya…everything is ok…khusi rona band karo” her Amma kept whispering these words to her to comfort her. Buaji came and joined them with Payal pushing Bauji in the wheelchair. The sight of Bauji was enough for Khushi to fall at his feet and sob some more.

Arnav thought it best to give the Gupta family some space and walked away straight past Anjali and to his room. He had brought Khushi home, he had come clean on all that he had done to this girl, he had apologized and apologized to the Gupta family and promised to find Khushi wherever she was and bring her back. His helping with Shashi’s treatment was also a way of atoning for the sins he had committed.

He walked into his room and went directly for his lounger. Sitting down, he rested his head and closed his eyes. He knew bringing Khushi home was only half of the battle, finding herself and the Khushi she was before, was still a long way away. Her tears still hurt him, like every drop was piercing his heart. He remembered that day was the day he was going to tell her how he felt…there was a spring in his step, a happiness in him that he didn’t know he could feel or deserve. He was finally going to tell a woman something which every girl he dated wanted to hear from him.

But then the worst happened and his world tumbled…and it took everything away from him again. Suddenly, he wasn’t the business tycoon, self confident, suave ASR anymore…he was the broken 14 year old boy whose life had just been altered for good. He didn’t stop to think and rationalize the situation…that was his only regret…he jumped…

“Chotey…”

He opened his eyes suddenly and stared up at his Di. “Chotey…sab theek ho jayega…you brought her back…”. He just stared at her…whether he registered what she said or didn’t, one couldn’t say. But he could feel the warmth in his Di’s caress. He could sense her relief. He wanted to believe everything will be ok now…he wanted to believe her words. But he knew better…he knew the decision to forgive and forget only rested with Khushi and all he could do is only wait for her to make that choice.

They heard the knock on the door and turned to see HP standing there. “Dinner is ready” he said “Naniji sabko bula rahi hain”. Anjali turned to Arnav asking him to come down. Still lost in his own world, he followed her to the dinning room. Once they reached, they found everyone at the table, the Raizadas and the Guptas…all except one.

Garima caught Arnav’s eyes searching the table and announced to everyone. “Khushi wanted to rest for a while. I will take her dinner to the room.” Slowly, as if coming out of a trance, Arnav sat at his usual seat and began eating. But food wasn’t what he needed right now…it was in fact the last thing he could think off. But he sat there through 2 or 3 morsels only for his Di. Excusing himself he rose from the table and was walking away when he heard Garima say she would take the food to Khushi now.

Turning around, he asked Garima if he could do it instead. Unsure of how her daughter would feel but knowing that this man had brought her back home, she gave him the plate.

He walked into the guest room, his movements slow, his heart beating faster. He wouldn’t know how he would find her in the room, would she be asleep? Would she be crying? Would he have to wake her? Would she be there? His mind raced at a 100 miles a minute as he advanced towards the room and opened the door. All his thoughts stopped as he took in the sight before him. No…she wasn’t sleeping…Yes, she was in the room…No she wasn’t racking in sobs…on the other hand she seemed calm…still…as she sat there near the pool, staring at the sky.

He knocked tentatively but when he got no answer…not even a stir from her to acknowledge his presence, he went in. He sat down beside her and placed the plate in between. He wanted to reach out to her, hold her hand, ask her how she was feeling…but she seemed far from him…very far, even though she was just a few inches apart. He stared at the stars not knowing what else to do when he heard her soft almost faint whisper…

“Do you think my parents are happy with me?”

His mind drifted back to the day when he had asked her that same question but before he could answer her she spoke again…

“I saw Jiji happy today…I saw Bauji looking better…I saw Anjaliji happy…I don’t regret going away anymore. I don’t regret the years I spent alone and lost. I don’t regret the nights I spent in tears for company. I don’t regret it. But my heart can’t forget it. Nor can my heart forgive. What you did…what you asked of me…what you compelled me to do…I can’t forgive you.”

Arnav heard her speak, slow and measured words. Though her words were angry…her voice was level, not faltering, not failing…steady and calm just like the rest of her. She continued, slowly, softly as before… “Thank you”.

His eyes shot up to her…unbelieving…stunned…did she just say thank you? But her expression didn’t change…she just stared up at the sky…

“Thank you for telling my family and yours…thank you for taking them in and helping my Bauji… thank you for what you’ve done for them in these two years.”

With that she got up and walked into the room. He sat there for a few seconds…stunned by her words. Knowing he was dismissed, he got up, leaving the plate where it was and walked to the door.

“Arnav” she called as he was about to step out. He stopped but didn’t turn around. “I will be going back to Buaji’s house tonight. I will stay there and visit my family here every day.” He knew he couldn’t stop her…he knew nothing he said would make her change her mind…and he didn’t think he had any right to ask her to stay. He nodded his head and stepped out.

Present Day:

Shrugging off the thoughts of the past, Khushi made her way towards her Amma and Jiji. These regular visits is what she looked forward to everyday…to see her bauji recovering…to see her Jiji happy and content in her married life…to see her Amma laughing and smiling every time…this is what she wanted…this is what she prayed for everyday during her two years of exile.

She walked to them, smiling at the mother – daughter bond…slowly she had begun to smile some more…it started getting easier for her…the laughs came too although hesitant and shaky but you could hear her laugh at times.

She reached them and instantly joined in the conversation…totally unaware of the pair of eyes that were fixed on her every movement. Eyes that shone brightly on seeing her…eyes that looked happy…eyes that were still nervous but in that nervousness, something else shone through…a promise, a dream, a resolve and somewhere further down…locked in a place even its owner didn’t think it right to venture into at this moment…love!

CHAPTER 4

Khushi sat in silence listening to her jiji talk a mile a minute, cradling her little one fast asleep. Pari, oblivious to her mother’s ramblings snored softly. Not wanting to disturb her sister from this new-found ability, Khushi moved to gather the 6-month old bundle of joy in her arms and head to Payal’s room to lay her down.

Her sudden movement caught his eye and he watched as she effortlessly carried the little one. Something that he found so difficult to do, lest he drop her. Her slow movements caressing and cradling Pari, reminded him of the time she fed him and revived him after he fainted in the kitchen. Her gentle hand, he calming words, her innocence! How could he have doubted her? How could he not see what was so evident in her eyes? Her behavior? Was he that overshadowed by the love for his sister that he didn’t realize Khushi’s love for her own? Where was all his business acumen, his sharp mind, his rational and logical decision-making in those 5 minutes when he needed it the most? No matter how much he kicked himself, questioned himself, he could never give back what he taken from her. There was no apology he could make that would absolve him of this guilt. His failure was too huge. He could only be content in the knowledge that Khushi was back amongst a family who loved her and loved her more after knowing all she had done.

Anjali didn’t miss the mist in her Chottey’s eyes as she watched him lost in thought staring at the one thing or rather person she knew he longed for. 2 years had gone by. 2 years of watching him suffer silently because of her. Because of the promise a 14-year-old boy made to protect his frail sister above all else. She was not frail any more. If one thing the whole Shyam debacle had taught her, that was of her own inner strength to overcome anything in life. She guessed it came from him. 2 years ago he did what he taught was right by her. Today she would make amends for the lives she broke.

She hurried after Khushi and paused when she reached the door. The sight of this young woman singing softly to Pari was just angelic. How had she stayed away from the family she loved so dearly? She always knew Khushi was strong, stronger even than her brother at times. But it took nerves of steel and a concrete resolution to do what she did. Mixed in with all sisterly feelings for the younger one was now, admiration. If only she had been stronger then. If only…

“Khushiji” she called softly, not wanting to disturb Pari

Khushi turned to find Anjali standing at the door, slightly nervous, slightly anxious. She smiled to ease her discomfort and pointed towards the balcony. Anjali followed her to the two cane chairs there and they sat. Khushi knew this conversation was long overdue but she didn’t feel the need to start first. She sat in silence facing away from Anjali, giving the older woman time to compose herself. It was still early evening, and the birds cooing and fluttering about somehow brought her a sense of calm.

“I’m sorry Khushiji” Anjali began though unsure of how to continue. Khushi turned to look at her now, although her eyes were blank and emotionless, not really seeing her. This was hard, but it had to be done.

“Had I been stronger then Khushiji, none of this would’ve happened. Had I been braver and shrewd I would have seen through the lies I was fed by my so-called husband, long before Chottey felt the need to intervene. In the days following Payal & Akash’s wedding, everyone was in shock. We all turned to Chottey for answers but he was mum. NK bhai remembered seeing you’ll together on the night of the wedding, so we badgered him for answers. But none came.” She paused to allow Khushi a chance to say something. Anything that would tell her she was listening.

But Khushi simply looked at her. Unlike the past, her eyes were deathly calm. No emotions showed in those brown orbs. So Anjali continued, “It took us a few more months to learn the truth about Shyam. But when we did, all the pieces started falling into place. Chottey was the first to learn about his true nature and the activities behind our backs. Payalji filled in the rest with the how he entered your lives and what ensued. Yes, there was mayhem in the house then. Yes, Chottey’s fears about my health and sanity were proved true. The trauma caused me to lose my child. But what life would I give her when I didn’t know where mine was headed?” she paused to wipe the stray tears that always came when she thought of her lost child. Never did she call her Rajkumari again…she was more that. She was her shooting star, the most precious of them all.

Through all this Khushi sat stoically. Her heart cried out for a suffering mother when she spoke of her lost child, but Khushi knew better that to intervene, lest Anjali falls into that hurt again. So she sat, waiting patiently for the other lady to gather herself and begin.

“Through all this though, the one person who was really lost was Chottey. He dove into his work, became more tyrannical than ever in office but a recluse at home. We saw him very rarely, spoke to him very less but he always made sure we were taken care of.” She turned to look at Khushi, to see if her words had any impact on the girl, but again was left longing.

“Chottey is not the man he was Khushiji. He knows the meaning and value of people, of family, of friendship, of love. He spent more than a year looking for you Khushji. And I could see the anguish and pain in his eyes. He knows his mistakes and he has made every attempt to undo what he did. You’ve seen it. And he brought you back. Khushji, we are all so happy to see you back but we know that these two years have been the hardest on you more than anyone else.”

Anjali moved forward in her seat and took Khushi’s hands in hers. She felt the coldness so unlike the warmth that Khushi was full off otherwise. “Khushji…” she started haltingly, unsure of whether she should say the next words to her. But she had to. For her Chottey, she had to. For the small signs of love she saw between them years ago, she had to. With renewed resolve, she dared again. “I’m sorry Khushji, for all the pain I’ve caused you. I truly am. If I could go back in time and be a stronger person to face my life, I would in a heartbeat. Khushji, I know this is probably not my place to say, but I hope and pray each day that you and Chottey find happiness again. I know he loves you…I’ve seen it. And if I’m not wrong, I know you did too at one time. Please Khushji, will you give him a chance?” Anjali implored the younger girl, hoping she got through the thick defenses Khushi had surrounded herself with. When she saw Khushi turn away, she thought she saw her eyes moist. She waited patiently knowing Khushi was a very private person no matter how chirpy or bubbly she was on the outside.

“Anjaliji…thank you for everything you have told me but you don’t need to be sorry. It is not your fault that things turned out this way. I have made my peace with the past Anjaliji and it has taught me a lot. I’m very happy seeing you so happy and I hope you find true happiness one day and a man who deserves you.” Saying that she rose from her seat and moved towards the room. Stopping, she turned around to Anjali and muttered a thank you.

Anjali sat for a while completely still. Khushi hadn’t said much but enough for her to feel the depth of pain and loss in the younger girl. No amount of apologies from any of them is ever going to take that away. She rose from her seat and checked on Pari, making sure the baby monitor was on before stepping out of the room. She didn’t know how life would progress now, but she was always the optimist, hoping for the best for her Chottey and his Khushi.

The talk with Anjali had thrown light on the past, especially on the truth of Shyam but Khushi had reached a stage in life where couldn’t care less. Those days preceding Payal’s wedding had been filled with happiness, hope and what she thought she left; love between her and Arnav. But it had all come crashing down. Yes! she was thankful for what he’d done for her family, but the scars were too deep to fill. Talking to Anjali, Khushi realized that the time had come. Her family was happy now, but she found no future here. No matter how hard the times in Mumbai were, she was proud of what she achieved. A name for herself, good friends, a very satisfactory job. Being here, brought back memories she didn’t want to revisit, pain she didn’t want to feel again. Seeing Arnav was hard. Knowing that somewhere deep inside she still had feelings for him. She still longed for his touch, his smile however rare. Love doesn’t die does it, no matter the hurt. But every time she remembered him, the hurt, the betrayal, the loss came screaming back. She knew what she had to do now.

She walked backed down to the living room to collect her things. She wanted to go to the mandir before heading home. She met Payal in the kitchen for a quick hug before saying goodbye to her Amma and Babuji. Her decision was going to be hard on them but she had to do it this time for herself. She had to go away for herself. She only prayed for strength.

That night as she sat on the charpoi outside Buaji’s home looking at the stars, she struggled to find the words to tell them of her decision. She tried Payal’s number a million times before disconnecting the call. Khushi was not a coward but she knew her decision would hurt them. She walked to her room and did the only thing she could.

CHAPTER 5

She opened the door to her room at the Hostel, stepping into the small space that she had called her own for over 2 years. Leaving her bag at the door, Khushi all but made it to her bed before falling down on it. She didn’t know why but tears came. Softly at first but loud racking sobs soon after. She tried to calm herself down, tried talking to herself to soothe the flow. But nothing worked. Tears just came.

After what seemed like forever she rose from the bed and headed to the bathroom to take a hot shower. Tomorrow, she would go back to her old life. She’d start teaching again, find joy in those little faces again, find peace with herself. But today she just felt tired. It was hard leaving her family behind again. This time willingly, but still as difficult. But she cherished each moment she spent with her Amma, resting on her lap, cooking together. Tender moments with Babuji, watching him get better with physiotherapy, talking to him about everything she ate in Mumbai, especially the sweets. And Jiji! How she cherished those times they sat and talked for hours through the night, hearing stories of her pregnancy and Jiju’s over attentive behavior. She missed them. But she had to get away. Knowing that he did all this…knowing that he had taken care of her family and most importantly knowing why…was too much for her to look beyond.

She didn’t want his pity. She didn’t want his guilt. If she could have taken care of her family herself, she would. But now she would always be indebted to him. She knew he was doing all this because he felt guilty. But was that enough? She always felt that there was something more between them. The small signs; the kiss at the poolside, the bindi on the mirror, helping her serving the guest…. But she had been wrong! All her dreams and hopes came crashing down the day he asked her…not forced her to leave. In those few days, she had sown dreams of a future…a future with him…but that one moment was all it took to shatter each and every one of them.

She turned off the shower and got dressed. Stepping out of the bathroom, her mind kept playing images of him like she had seen in the last 6 months. He’d withdrawn more to himself. Did what he had to for his family and her’s but his mind was always elsewhere. She knew the many times he had his eyes trained on her…like she could always feel it. That sensation never left her…of being aware of his presence even before she seen. And it hurt her to not look at him every time. It hurt her to not run to him every day and just lose herself in him. Like the day she cried in his arms when Babuji was admitted, the day she found out the truth about Shyamji…his arms always felt like home to her. Comforting, familiar and strong. But she stopped herself every time and stole glances when she knew he wasn’t looking. The man she saw now, was not the arrogant, selfish, brutish ASR she knew then. If she had become a shell of herself then so had he. And it was for this reason alone that she knew she had to go. For whatever it was worth she always prayed to Devi Maiyya for his happiness above all else.

The sound of the bell shook her out of her reverie. Checking the time, she moved to open the door and was left shocked. The man she was lost in thought about was standing in front of her, in the flesh. But this wasn’t the man she saw just a few days back. This man with the hard jaw, dark menacing eyes, fists bunched; this was the man from the past. The rakshas who had destroyed her world. Slowly, she felt the same fear creeping up her bones. Why was he here? Why was he this angry? Why did he come back here? Her fingers on the door knob were turning whiter. She couldn’t find the will to move.

“Aren’t you going to let me come in Khushi? Or do you want to do this in the hall so everyone can hear?” Cold words. She thought she’d heard the last of them 2 years back. But here they were again. She pulled open the door and let him through.

Arnav walked in her tiny room not really seeing anything but her. His mad dash from Delhi to Mumbai was hell for those around him. He saw red from the moment he found out she’d left and couldn’t control himself. He had to get to her. He couldn’t believe she had walked away again. Was it that easy for her? Did she not feel anything? For her family, for Di, for him? He thought bringing her back 6 months ago was the end of his suffering in fact the suffering of the family. But he was wrong again. Did those 6 months mean nothing to her? Did he mean nothing to her? Questions and rage were building inside him as saw her still form standing near the door. She didn’t meet his eyes staring instead at the stars above her bed, hands clutching her dupatta. He knew she was affected by his presence now he just needed to hear it.

He pulled out the note from his pocket and held it up to her. “This is all you left me? This is all you wanted to say to me? After everything? Thank you?” he began without controlling the rage building in his voice.

She heard him and she saw fire burning in his eyes. She had to speak now. She had to lay whatever this was between her and him to rest. “Yes that’s all I left you with. A thank you note for all you’ve done for my family. Like I told you before, I will always be indebted to you.”

“Indebted to me? I didn’t do this for you Khushi.”

“Really. What made you do it then? Huh? Why did you have to take care of my family?”

“I did it because it was the right thing to do. I did it because I found out that Shyam is the reason behind your Babuji’s condition. I did it because I was the reason they lost their daughter. That’s why I did it.” His pitch rising with each statement.

“So thank you anyways for whatever the reasons were. I know my family is safe and well taken care off. I know that Naniji and Jiji will ensure their comfort and care. That’s all I had to say to you and I said it.”

“That’s all? Is that all you had to say?”

“Yes!” she stood her ground. That was all she could get herself to say. But Devi Maiyya knows she wished for much more. She wished to forget everything that has happened and run into his arms. He wished to go back to her family, to her Babuji, to Him! She wished for so much but she wouldn’t, she couldn’t tell him.

Arnav could see the strength in her fading. He could see the fight diminishing. He knew that when it came to Khushi, she always put on a brave front. She fought him tooth for tooth always. But behind that strong façade was always this innocent, pure and fragile girl. The same innocence that he had doubted. The same purity that he questioned. The same frailty he broke so mercilessly. Yes! He had wronged her. But now was the time to make it right. Now was the time to make her his.

He walked to her now and gripped her arms. “You didn’t stop for one second to think about me? What effect you leaving would have on me? How could you just walk away from me? After everything? How could you just…..”

“Stop right there Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada! Who do you think you are to come here and demand answers from me? Who gave you that right?” The fire in her was building now and pushed hard against him with every question. Rage blinding her. Years of pent-up frustration, loneliness and sorrow finally finding an exit. It was difficult to stop now.

“Did you think of ME? Did you think of me when you so mercilessly asked me to walk away from my sister’s wedding? Did you think of me when you made me an orphan again? Did you ever just for a moment think that maybe I wasn’t the shameless woman you thought I was? You come in here demanding answers when you never gave me one! How dare you Mr. Arnav Singh Raizada.” She finished the rant and fell on the bed. Overwhelmed and overwrought with emotions. Why was this happening? Why was he here to rehash all these all wounds? So lost was she that she almost didn’t hear him speak.

“I dare you Khushi!” He looked at her and knew she hadn’t heard. “I dare you Khushi, because for the second time in my life you made me sick with worry! For the second time in my life I thought I lost you! For the second time in my life I felt like I couldn’t breathe! I dare you because I need you with me! Because I need to know you’re safe! I lost you once Khushi! God knows how worried I was in those 2 years that you were away. What if something had to happen to you? What if I had actually lost you?” a crescendo building in his words. All the fear, all the heartache of the past pouring out uncontrollably from him.

“What if I never found you again? What if…?”

“You brought me to this place Arnavji! You! So why do you care if I lived or died? Why does it matter to you? Aapko isse kya farak padta hain?” She was standing in front of him now. Fire blazing from her eyes.

“Mujhe farak padta hain dammit! Mujhe farak padta hain! Your pain has always hurt me! Your smiles have always brightened my day! Your colors, your stupid gotas, your Salman Khan dance moves, your pranks…everything about you matters! Everything.”

“Why? Why does it matter? Why do I matter to you the mighty ASR? A small town, gold digger, marriage breaker girl like me! Why do I matter?”

“Because I love you dammit!” he had gripped her now on the arms as he literally scream those words he’d kept bottled up inside him for so long. How many times had he replayed the scene in his head of telling her these beautiful words. But never once did he imagine this. All the pain, loss, heartbreak, suffering had spiraled down to this one moment. He pulled her to himself and crushed her to his hard chest. Letting her feel the love his words always failed to express.

“I love you Khushi! I love you Khushi! I love you Khushi!” he kept repeating the words as he held her close hoping it seeped into her pores like it did his. His arms were wrapped around her like they should always have been. Never wanting to let go.

She stood there locked in his embrace. Shocked by the words she had just heard and the chant he kept repeating. Oh how long she has waited to hear this. How many years her heart ached for this man. The tears wouldn’t stop flowing as she heard repeat those words over and over again. Those 3 words had broken the walls she built up around herself. Those 3 little words gave her reason to hope and rejoice and exult. Those 3 words made her come alive.

She wrapped her hands around him and in the faintest of whispers she said, “hum bhi aapse I love you dammit!”

The stars above her bed twinkled brighter while the world faded away. Yes, they have a long way ahead of them. A lot of bridges to pass. A lot of pain to forget. A lot of hurt to soothe. But for this one moment all else doesn’t matter. For this one moment, there are only two hearts, two bodies, two souls now joined as one.

EPILOGUE

“I have wronged you a thousand times. I have given you more pain than anyone should ever inflict on another. I have separated you from the people you held dear. There have been million times when I misjudged you, your character, your actions. I put your life in danger. I made you cry. But today, at this very moment I make these promises to you,

I will not be the man to wipe your tears.

I will not be the man whose shoulder you can cry on.

I will not be the man to shelter you from pain.

I will not be the man who eases your burdens.

I will instead be the man whose life’s mission will be to never make you cry.

I will be the man who never lets you feel a moment of pain.

I will be the man who opens his arms for you every time you need a shoulder.

I will be the man who goes through life with you. Through every high, through every low.

I will spend my lifetime trying to be the man deserving of you.

Will you give me that honor Ms. Khushi Kumari Gupta? Will you marry me?”

It had been 3 months since that day. 3 months since the mighty ASR humbled himself on one knee and proposed a lifetime to her. She had said ‘Yes’ then and she would say it a thousand times more. She could recall that day as if it were just yesterday. Every word ingrained in her soul. And every time she thought back to that day, her eyes would fill with tears. After all the tears of sorrow she shed. These were tears of joy. Tears of happiness. Tears of peace.

Life had altered drastically since the day he came back for her. In the 7 months before the proposal, Arnav had proved time and again how much he loved her and how much she meant to him. The grandest gesture of that was the AR Children’s Foundation that he started for her. A school for underprivileged and orphaned children, especially girls in the heart of Old Delhi.

Khushi spent her days at the foundation; teaching, playing and being one with the children. But she waited for the evenings eagerly, when he would come to pick her up and take her on a long drive almost always ending at her favorite chaat or jalebi stall. He still didn’t learn to love the chaat and jalebis, but she never stopped feeding him a little of it every day.

Peace like no other had settled in her heart. Her Amma and Babuji had moved back to Buaji’s place with her. Babuji’s health much better and movements much stronger. She knew she couldn’t have done this for her Babuji alone. And for that, she was always grateful to the Raizadas and especially to Arnav. Payal and Pari were regular guests at Buaji’s house, filling the environment with childlike glee and abandon that only an almost 3-year-old can.

Every day she’d seen the changes in Arnav more and more. Always the boss, but his raging temper and mercurial moods were slowly getting under control. Aman wasn’t as petrified as before and Khushi was thankful. He was a good guy after all.

Everything seemed to be perfect. Everything seemed surreal and dreamlike to her.

Yes! they still fought. Yes! Both their families still wondered how they would go through life together. But never for one moment did Khushi doubt the depth of their love for each other. This time she was certain if she ran away again, he would be right behind her. If he hurt her again, he would die a million deaths himself. If he saw her cry, he would turn the world upside down to see her smile. Yes! She was certain, this was her Rajkumar not her Rakshas. Although their road to here was tough and riddled with hurt, the future lay bright and sparkling with happiness.

Filled with this joy she looked at herself in the mirror. The bridal lehenga in deep red and gold complementing her pale complexion perfectly. She knew he designed this especially for her. The gotas incorporated beautifully into this masterpiece were proof of that. Smiling at her reflection, she twirled around loving the flowly feeling of the ensemble.

A knock on the door and Payal’s urgent voice, broke her reverie. “Khushi, Arnavji is waiting. Are you done admiring yourself? Please put the man out of his misery. Hurry up Khushi!”

“Haan Jiji, I’m coming. And besides, he made me wait a long time. A few more minutes won’t kill him”

Payal could only shake her head at her little sister’s antics. How much ever she tried, she never understood this bond her sister and Jethji shared. Her relationship with Aakash was the complete opposite of this. But on this day, she couldn’t be happier. Looking at her sister admire herself in the mirror, she was filled with warmth and sisterly pride. Her sanka devi had finally found her sapno ka Rajkumar.

“Arre o Sanka Devi! Jaldi karo!” a huffing Buaji entered the room and stilled. The beauty she saw before her was not her titaliya like always. She was a grown woman ready to take the next steps in her life. She walked towards Khushi and placed a tiny dot of kajal behind her ears for protection from evil eyes. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she blessed the girl.

Together with Buaji and Payal, Khushi stepped out of the room and towards her Rajkumar. As she entered the mandap area, a hush fell over the room. All eyes turned towards her. But the only one that caught her attention, were those deep caramel ones, wistfully looking at her from the mandap.

Never did he believe in God. Never did he believe in miracles. Never did he believe in destiny. But the vision that stood before him proved that all these and more played a very important part in bringing Khushi to him. As she walked towards him, he thanked all the God’s SHE believed in, for this precious gift in his life. His eyes clouded over as he couldn’t control the depth of emotion he felt.

All the years apart, all the pain, all the anguish, all the carelessly thrown words and yet here they were about to begin a life together. Who would’ve believed that the mighty ASR, who women swooned over, who the media went crazy for, who could tear someone to smithereens with just one look would be bowled over by a slightly crazy, insanely loud and often haphazard slip of a girl. And yet here he was, waiting for the one woman who not only captured his thoughts and dreams, but a heart he never thought he had. A small smile broke out on his face and he watched her walk closer to him. Looking into his eyes and seeing right into his soul. He found himself locked in a trance.

Khushi looked into those caramel depths and felt an ocean of love. Just like his name, this man was as deep as an ocean. Calm and soothing one moment. Thunderous and raging the next. But hadn’t she learnt to calm the storm? Yes she had! And she was ready to spend her lifetime doing just that. Because when it came to love, Arnav never left a stone unturned.

With the promise of tomorrow and knowledge of the past, Khushi walked towards her forever!

THE END

chapter 1

Arnav has found Khushi and is here to apologize. He has no answers to her questions.

chapter 2

Khushi is right that no one saw what her life was like these two years. She will go back to see her family.

chapter 3

Its good to see her back with her family.

chapter 4

Looks like she decided to leave.

Anjali is a better person now. A lot stronger.