Originally posted by: aquaHP
I had decided that I will refrain from posting on this thread because it was in some form seemed like another Kuhu-bashing thread. There have been too many of those already where people have compared the two to declare Mishti as superior. After all my self talk to not indulge in this thread, I clearly couldn't control myself so here I am!
I don't know what the right path to be loved and praised is but everyone in the world deserves love and affection no matter the path they choose. They may crave have an umpteenth amount of it which ain't possible but they should get atleast some of it. In case of MishKu, we have seen that Mishti has been scared of losing her adopted/foster family lest she do something they do not approve of and Kuhu has been insecure of always being the second priority where Mishti is involved.
Even though Mishti has been scared of losing her family, it has never stopped her from doing something she wants, be it rejecting a rishta or sneaking off to meet Abir behind everyone's back. She has been obsessed with being the perfect beti to prove to BP and BM that they did not make any mistake by taking her in so she hides all of her actual emotions to make them feel validated. Over the years, the habit has become so innate that it takes her a second to switch from Mishti to perfect beti and vice versa. We saw that happen in today's episode too when she is fighting with Kuhu and bam! BM enters and she is calm. This has been her defence mechanism since she arrived at the Maheshwari house. I don't know what is right with this deceptive behaviour of asking for love but people do need stop praising this. Yes, she puts in effort to gain validation from authority figures in her life but at the cost of her real self. Her real feelings have only been seen by Kuhu, not even Abir. Abir knows about her struggle for validation because it is very visible in her behaviour but he has never seen the switch happening till now and that bothers me about their relationship because he feels that she is just worried and unconsciously behaves like this because of her insecurities and he will help her overcome this with his love. What he doesn't know is that this behaviour is very much a conscious choice on Mishti's part to fulfill her need for validation and proving to everyone that they haven't made any mistakes by betting on her.
Moving on to Kuhu, her insecurities come out in unconscious bursts of anger and then we see her regretting it and when she is not forgiven, she takes it upon herself to solve the situation come what may and ends up ruining things for herself. (That's my prediction for the upcoming episodes too). Talking about her need for love and attention, we recently saw a voiceover flashback from her childhood when she was told by Meenu that she has to give the haar to Mishti even though she should be giving it to Kuhu because she already gave one to M before. Meenu tries to make Kuhu understand that she needs to go the extra mile for M because of the role she played in the MishBir story. We see Kuhu remembering the time when a second doll was given to Mishti by BM because she used to stay upset and Kuhu was expected to understand why Mishti was getting her share of things as well as Kuhu's. We have also seen time and again that she keeps her problems to herself until and unless they are intentionally/unintentionally outed by Mishti, be it her liking Kunal or the divorce truth. She said in front of the family that it was because every time Mishti's mountain level problems came in between but the truth of the matter is she didn't want to share her problems when everyone was focussing on Mishti because she knew her needs would be put on the back burner and she would again be made to understand why she was given less importance, like when she was rejected by Meenu in the beginning, the focus quickly shifted from her being rejected to if Mishti wanted the rishta or not. We have also seen her being a social media star and trying to gain attention by selfies and her #Kuhuness. This is her way of fulfilling her need for validation. Being in the limelight is the only way she has gotten importance so when Mishti comes in, unintentionally stealing the spotlight off of her, she again feels like she has been forgotten.
Kuhu had said something along these lines to Mishti in a pretty early episode: If you cry, it is considered sadness, and when I cry, it is considered a tantrum. That, for me sums up the struggle for Kuhu and why she bottles up her emotions because her issues were never given the same level of importance as Mishti. She had found a safe space in Kunal when she had told him that she and Mishti did not get along but that ended pretty soon with the sham marriage. Because she bottles up those emotions, we see them come out when she loses it.
The fact of the matter here is Kuhu doesn't share her emotions with anyone because of her past experience with them not get validated and Mishti doesn't share her feelings with anyone so that she doesn't break anyone's expectations of her not living up to the perfect image that she has created.
I do hope this made sense. Also to the TM, they both can't be summed up in one line because their behaviour and insecurities are still being shown in new ways even after 250episodes. There is so much depth to the characters and hence they can't be simplified to a single sentence.
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