Originally posted by: IAdoreYou
The Darkness, He Has Chosen For Himself
Tumne mujhe itna pyardiya hai, Ajeeb Rajvansh jitna iss puri duniya me nahi hai.
Main jaanti hu, tummujhse pyar karte ho.
The day was still fresh in his memory. The moments were still fresh in his memories and his wounds were still raw. The time span of three months wasn’t enough for him to convince his heart that it must let go of the one it dearly adored. Sure, he had contrived her to leave him but his heart hadn’t yet been able to take her out of his mind, soul, and heart. She was not visibly in front of him for the past three months but her existence in his life was like air – invisible but mandatory for him to breathe.
She was present with him in everything he did.
In the poetry, he wrote.
In the N.G.O work he did.
In the cycle races, he lost.
In the balloons he bought.
She was present with him in everything he did.
She ruled his imagination.
It was he who made sure that she hated him enough to move on with someone better. Someone who would keep her happy, someone who would cherish her, someone whose family would love her the way she deserved but still,seeing her happy as a clam with her Nannu exactly the way he had wished her to be – did land him in an emotionally vulnerable state, he had been protecting himself from all along.
He reached out to the cupboard and pulled it towards himself. The wheels that he had got to his cupboard a couple of months ago helped him shift it almost effortlessly. His heart had never raced as fast in the past three months as it did now, as he summoned up the courage, inched closer and delicately lifted a painting carefully wrapped in a bunch of newspapers.
As he steadied the painting on his bed, he took off the newspaper covers, least caring about the dust that embraced his clean bed-sheet. He dropped them on the ground. A bitter smile graced his lips as he came in sight of the red velvet fabric that shielded his precious painting from the cruel eyes in the world.
The unwrapping process was easy but his hands froze, not letting him bring the painting in front of his eyes. He had hidden the painting from himself and the world, three months ago. It was his favorite one. It was his love’s painting. It was Mishti’s painting.
The painting had his emotions attached to it. It was that painting that had him realize his feelings for her. It was that painting that had let him know about the extent to which she valued him for she had jumped in the fire, without caring about her life – just to save his painting because he had mentioned it to her that it was important to him. It was that painting that had brought them closer.
The painting was precious, so was the woman in it.
His eyes held a thin layer of tears in them once he got the painting out of the fabric and as he gazed at her face, the tears flowed down his cheeks and he made absolutely no attempt to stop them. For the first time in the past three years, Abir Rajvansh had not held back his emotions.
He was not pretending to be alright.
He was not concealing his pain.
He wasn’t pulling over a mask that he was happy.
He was broken. He was vulnerable.He was in tremendous pain and today, he was accepting all of it.
Tab tak koi problem nahi hogi, jab tak ham ek dusre se honestly baat karsakenge.
He had assured her that nothing would go wrong as long as they were able, to be honest with each other. He had urged her to never lie to him and he himself had gone ahead, doing the same.
He had lied to her.
He had not been honest with her.
Guilt consumed him. He had promised to stay by her side always but a choice – a touch choice though – and he did not choose her.
He knew he had been unfair to her.
He knew he had been brutal to her.
He knew she did not deserve what he did to her.
He knew it all and perhaps, he would blame himself for it all his life, and his punishment was waiting right in front of him. His angry chorni was not his anymore. She washer Nannu’s Mish now. Three months ago, when they broke up, even though he knew it was over – a part of him had held a belief in the deepest corner of his heart that even if she was far – she was his and that belief was broken today and as the realization that he had truly lost her forever took over him, he slipped on the ground and lost him in the darkness that he had chosen for himself.
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Hey, people. It's been so long. I haven't been around but I have been watching the show and MishBir never disappointed me. Had an urge to pen down something and this is the result. Let me know how you find this if you ended up reading till the last word.🤗
I had goosebumps reading this 👏👏👏 any word of appreciation would be an understatement here...just fantastic 🥳
And I forgot your name 🙈 sorry dear ...it starts from H that I remember 😆
Edit: now I know harshada it is right ?😛
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