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He can't sleep. Aditya can count on one hand the number of nights he's been able to find some solitude in the dark of his room, on the comfort of his bed, how many nights he's found sleep since the accident.
Because when he closes his eyes, he sees Pooja. He can see her at the corner of their bed smiling at him, he can see her spinning in his chair laughing into the night, he can see her beside him in bed waiting for him to hold her.
He can't stop seeing her and he can never forgive her. But there are moments, sweet, blissful moments, where he forgets her. He forgets the stain she's left on him, he forgets the way her laugh sounds, he forgets the way her eyes used to crinkle from smiling too hard.
He forgets because he's consumed.
Consumed by the way her doe eyes seem to look at him and see right through him. Consumed by the way she seems to know him better than he can imagine, as she echoes his own thoughts back to him. Consumed by the astounding idea that she has survived so long in this world and even now, even in the face of everything, she has not been marred or twisted by its ugly truths.
Koi itna bhola, itna masoom kaise ho sakta hai?
There's something undeniably defiant about Zoya that he can't quite place. The truths she so stubbornly holds onto, the love she believes so blindly in, the world that she is so oblivious too. He had questioned how Zoya could have been so deeply naive in the way she views the world and he has questioned it since.
There's a light about her, he figures. A light that does not fracture or bend to will. He knows they've been bound by the impossible, by the unimaginable and by utmost tragedy. But there's something about Zoya he can't shake. There's a need, to hurt, to destroy, to show her the pain he feels. There is no one in the entire world who could understand him, except her. Yet, she refuses. She refuses to believe his truth, refuses to see what's right in front of her, and so he continues his wrath.
He will have her believe in his pain and he will make her see the depth of darkness in him, for there is no one else who could possibly understand. No one in the world.
Aditya sighs in frustration and closes his eyes. He sees her again. A soft smile, a bubbly laugh, a misguided but stubborn light in the darkness of his room.
It isn't until he's half fallen into sleep's hold, that he realizes it isn't Pooja he sees.
Bollywood
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Mangal Lakshmi
