AvNeil TS: The Heart Wants What It Wants| EPILOGUE UP-PG 11| Jan 03 - Page 5

Fantastic update. Give the next "meeting and clearing the understanding" part soon!

Hehe.. I wish we could get some insights into their teenage phase in the show, but I am sure that's not happening, for we all know Neela's bachi was ''badle k aag mein jhulas rahi thi'' and Tillu Ji was perhaps looking for some puppy love that he (unfortunately) ended up finding in Miss. Chuhi! 🤣

Glad you are liking this story so far.

Updating the last chapter in a bit! 😳

What do you do?

When what pains you,

gives you solace too.

When what breaks you,

Makes you too.

When what you have been seeking for,

Comes right before your eyes.

Unannounced, unprecedented.

Do you act frivolous or wise?

When you looked desperately for closure,

And it never came your way,

Yet you kept trying so hard..

Only to suddenly have darkness meet the day.

What did he feel?

What could he possibly feel at the moment when all that he had been looking for all this while was standing right before his eyes?

Was he happy? Was he sad?

And what was it that was bubbling inside him?

Was it anger?

Was it joy?

Was it angst?

Or was it hatred?

.

He watched in awe as she stood silently still, her face showing the conspicuous lines of an equal shock if not more, her stance way too spellbound by this sudden jolt that had landed on her unceremoniously, but to him, it was pretty much ceremonious.

He stayed still, like remained the ambiance of the room they were in right now, as he closely examined her features. The same ones that had haunted him day and night, and very obviously so, had also been his pacifier whenever he was distraught.

The same hazel eyes, the same fair white complexion, which was only too enhanced now that she was no more a teenager, but a woman. She had lost so much weight now, but looked as fit as ever.

Everything about her was so same yet different, for those long tresses were now shortened in layers that reached a little below her midriff, her attire was much more formal rather than the dresses she used to wear in her teenage during that generation, yet, despite all the changes he knew it was her.

It was Avni.

His Avni.

The same Avni who had heralded a new perspective in his life, who had made him a different person, who had made him realize a lot of things, be it about his family, career, or life as a whole, and the very same Avni who had also made him go through hell by her sudden disappearance. A disappearance that had no ends, no loopholes, no amends.

She was just gone.

From his life, from the face of earth, and he had been living in the guilt and anxiety of it for all these years.

And that recollection made his muscles flex and nerves throb, due to which, he immediately clenched his fists, as well as his jaw, and his eyes shot daggers at the petite figure standing in front of him, herself dumbstruck at the turn of events, and perhaps, too taken aback to even react.

And so after what seemed like ages, he gritted, in a tone that was anything but polite,

''So, YOU are HERE.''

It was more of an accusation than a factual statement and that instantaneously made a chill run down Avni's span.

Amidst all this, her PA, Tracy, who was a silent witness to whatever was unfolding was not perplexed but shocked about how this man had the audacity of storming into her ma'am's cabin and look at her with such accusatory eyes.

But right at the moment when she registered Avni's reaction, her facial expressions, she knew that there was definitely much more to their equation than what was currently meeting the eye.

And giving privacy to the same, she thought it better to leave the duo, regardless of whoever they were to each other, alone, to deal with their past, mess it more, or offer an olive branch, she couldn't care less.

So, Tracy simply left the cabin, closing the door behind her.

But could Avni ever close the doors to her past?

Well, that was a null question, because she never really bade any adieu to her past. Not because she couldn't but because she never wanted to.

And perhaps it was for that very reason that today, when after over 8 years, her past, the biggest essence of it, the strongest manifestation of it, was standing right before her, shocking daylights after her, she really didn't know what to answer, what to do.

Why was all this happening?

Or, was it really happening with her?

She felt herself losing her grip over the demarcation between reality and illusion, as the words, his words, ''So YOU are HERE?'' which were thrashed on her rather harshly, hit her really bad.

Are those the words you say, rather, throw at a person you see after such a long time?

It made a part within her die a little more, and as a result of just that, all she did was keep quiet, giving no answer to him, standing right where she was. But in all this, she didn't know that her actions were only vexing the entity standing in front of her, his vehement head, bubbling anger, knowing no bounds, as he approached her in three long strides, wrecking her nerves, so much that she lifted her gaze, staring at him with wide eyes.

''WHY are you QUIET, AVNI?''

He spat.

He spoke her name, as if he owned it.

Should she rejoice it?

Perhaps she would have, had she still been 18 like she was all those years ago.

But she was 25 now.

And as much as this moment, this person was making her time travel and bringing nuances from her past back, she had something very vital, very concrete now, that she lacked all those years ago.

Self-respect.

Self-esteem.

His voice scared her, but she would be lying if she said she wasn't anywhere aware of the reason for his accusatory look and show of bottled up frustration. She knew that somewhere she was the reason of it but it was a fact she didn't really want to act upon.

For Neil however, this chit of a girl who had given him hell in heaven in far differentiated magnitudes in life, was doing him no good by staying mute, not answering any of his questions, and so when he found things not going his way, he did something he was known best for.

The crude businessman Neil Khanna taking over in entirety, he ramped dangerously closer to her, pinning her to the wall, making her gasp in shock at his action, but he was anything but sorry. As her chest heaved at the sudden proximity between them, her eyes showing her but obvious petrified feeling, she tried hard to free her wrists from his grip, but today Neil knew nothing of this word called chivalry.

This girl, no, this woman, had to give him answers.

She was accountable.

She was liable.

She was bloody answerable to him for doing what she did.

And he would sure as hell make sure that she gave him what he needed.

And so he gritted, in a tone that was very, very dangerous,

''SPEAK UP, AVNI. ANSWER MY DAMN QUESTION!''..

As much as his rant frightened her, it also gave her an unwarranted range of courage that she somehow mustered out of nowhere, and her frail features suddenly lit up with determination and she looked at him with an equal intensity, equal depth, of retaliation.

He wanted answers, right?

Then she would give him answers.

The answers, she believed he already knew. The reality she knew he knew.

And so, she right away stopped her efforts of freeing her hands from his grip, and with a stern face, said:

'Yes, I am here, Mr. Khanna. What difference does it make for you?''

..

Her voice, that same melodious voice that he had been dying to hear since years, made his heart reel in joy for a tiny moment, but the implication it had, and the coldness with which it was spoken, panged him indescribably.

He narrowed his eyes as he stared at her, his grip tightening on her wrists without his conscious notice, but one look at her painful expression, and he knew what he was doing, and that instantly made him back away a little.

He left her hands in one go, but the shock never left him. The shock that was enveloping him on seeing her speak to him like this, when it should be him speaking to her that way, for the very reason that it was her, who ran away, it was her, who left him, and it was her, who never came back.

And that made his blood boil, and he instantly curled his fingers into tight fists, his nails digging his own skin, as he barked,

'It doesn't make a difference to ME?! Do you even know, what the hell you are saying?!''

For a moment, a tiny moment, Avni felt like there was something that she was doing wrong.

Was she really wrong?

But how could she be wrong, when she knew it ALL?

When she knew all those years ago, what his true intentions were, what his true plans were. And the recollection of that same scene, same moment, when her heart was broken, her dreams were crushed, her feelings were mocked at, by the same person talking to her now, returned to her, she couldn't control the glimpse of that same fragile girl that she was all those years ago show up, and without any control of hers, a lone tear escaped her eye, trickling down her cheek.

As Neil saw her misty eyes, he couldn't control the concern reflect on his face, his heart panging seeing her like this, but if only he knew, that somewhere, somehow, he was the reason of this pain of hers.

And in that fraction of second, the arrogant man in him subsided a little, letting only Neil stay on-board, and with narrowed eyes, he uttered in a voice barely audible,

''Avni.. I-''

He had barely begun, only to be stopped midway as he saw her turn her face away, indicating that she was not going to accept anything he had to say, and that made him lose his mind. His nostrils flared due to unmounted anger, which was soon replaced by a fear.

Fear of..

What if?

His mind immediately went on to do certain calculations and the inferences made him point out several things, some of which were,

It had been over eight years.

School was years and years ago.

They were years and years ago.

He was still living in the past, but that didn't mean even she was.

So, what if..

His head hurt as he even hypothetically thought, What if she has moved on?'

He then looked keenly to find any traces, any signs of her being married or betrothed to someone, but to his relief, he found none.

Neither was there a wedding ring, nor there were any other signs like wedding chain or vermilion as per Hindu customs that could signify that she was legally wedded. As much as that soothed his headache, it soon brought in another proposition.

What if she was seeing someone?

NO!

His heart shouted, and it was then that he truly realized how possessive he actually was for her, and how much he needed to be ascertained, affirmed, that she belonged to him, and no one else.

Like hell he would ever let anyone else have any rights over her.

Over his dead body!

And so, with boundless courage and ownership, he asked her, rather, ordered her to answer,

''Are you seeing anyone?!''

Avni shot him a look as soon as those words escaped his mouth and what he saw in her eyes was now accusation.

He was anticipating that she would yet again ignore his question, but this time, she surprised him, as she uttered in a tone rather bland than interested,

''With what right do you ask me that, Neil?''

.

He was taken aback with how things were shaping up between them after all these years.

What was it that he was missing?

Or was there really something that he was missing?

The idea instantly made the thought of the bet strike his mind, and he immediately recalled, that he had already written everything, everything to her, about the bet, along with his thoughts, what he felt for her, on Facebook. Then there was no point that could now play a role in whatever that was transpiring between them in this room.

And so with his logical set of mind, he spat,

'With WHAT right, eh? Tell me Avni! After EVERYTHING that happened, Jo bhi hai, job hi tha.. you ask ME, what right do I have?''

He was far gone, drowning in the realms of the past now, and hence, paying no heed to her confused look, her once again strode closer to her, pinning her against the wall once again, as he said in a tone, that was begging her to show at least some essence, some glimpse, one glimpse of the old Avni, his old Avni again,

'SAY IT, Avni. How can you even say this, han? SAY IT!''

'BECAUSE IT WAS ALL A BET FOR YOU, WASN'T IT? ALL OF IT. OUR FRIENDSHIP. OUR TALKS. OUR DISCUSSIONS. OUR...''

She shouted in self defense, only to pause at the last word, and reassess what she should be saying, and so she did, before adding, ''Jo bhi hai.. Jo bhi tha.. Sab kuch sirf ek shart thi na, tumhare liye?'' (Whatever is, whatever was, all of it was only a bet, right? For you?)..

Neil felt like someone had splashed a barrel of ice cold water on his face, breaking every idealistic logic, reasoning that he had so far managed to weave in his mind during all these years he had spent thinking, contemplating, and concluding, and his hands immediately left her arms, as he unwarrantedly took a step back, his eyes boring into hers, unblinkingly, while he watched in horror and heard her add,

'I HAD HEARD IT ALL NEIL! EVERYTHING. THIS NERD, THIS STUPID GIRL, THIS FOOLISH GIRL, WHO COULD NEVER BE YOUR TYPE, HAD HEARD IT ALL. ABOUT HOW YOUR BET WAS PROGRESSING WELL, ABOUT HOW A BET IS A BET, AND YOU COULD GO TO ANY EXTENTS TO FULFILL YOUR BET, BE IT EVEN HUMILIATING ME, ANNHIALITING THE SO-CALLED BIT OF WHAT WE HAD, AND VILIFYING ME! ISN'T THAT RIGHT?''

Avni let it all out, for the first time in her life, all that was pent up in her, all that had hurt her, pricked her, killed her from within.

All that she had thought she would never bring back, but now that the reason that had caused it all was back, then it was high time, she let it all out.

In this process, little did she know that the person whom she considered the reason for her current state, was himself not in the right state of his mind after knowing what she actually thought of him, all these years.

''Av-''

'I had heard it ALL, Neil. Your little brag talk in the boys' locker room on that last day! So don't you dare DENY anything!''

She reasoned, her tear gates now having no stop as they constantly trickled down her cheeks, breaking her from inside, but also releasing her from all the anger and agony that she had held within herself as these years.

But, Neil..

He was playing that same scene in his mind from the very same guys' locker room, where he had made a confession to his friends and teammates, and finally, he didn't need a genius to tell him that the fact was that she had heard only half of that conversation and made her conclusions, and fled. Far, far away from him.

When that realization played incessantly in his mind, he only had one thing, one aspect to settle on, and so with the stern face, his eyes settled intently on hers, he averred,

''You never checked your Facebook after that day, did you?''

He held his breath, his heart racing at an indefinable speed, while his mind was still at a stand-still, fearing the worst, and when he saw her shoot a confused glance at him for his last question, he knew.

He knew that all his feelings, his words, his confession, his apology, his honesty, all of it had fallen on deaf ears, for she had never read anything. She had never known anything.

And that made everything shatter within him.

He stepped back.

He kept walking backwards, one step after another, till he stood almost at the exit of the cabin, and this time it was her, who with a confused, dazzled look, stepped towards him, only to have him say to her, in an ice-cold voice, the one that neither held anger nor hatred, neither held concern, nor apology. It was as good as callous.

'You heard something incomplete, and drew conclusions on your own.''

He paused deliberately, making sure each of his line registered well in her mind.

'You heard about that bet, and thought I was still acting on it.''

'You heard about the bet, but never thought to charge me, to question me, to slap me, to punch me, to abuse me, to ask me, to clarify with my anything. But you ran.

You ran away.

From me.

From everyone. From everything.''

''You ran, not caring to look back, that maybe, maybe you were missing something. That maybe there could be something wrong on your part. Maybe something you thought to be a lie wasn't really a lie, after all. But you just ran.''

'Weren't you the same Avni who had once told me when I had spoken to you about how problematic I found the fact that my parents never gave me time, that it's not the end of the world, and I shouldn't run from it, but face it, solve it, and only then I would be able to put my sh*t together and solve my issues?''

''But look what you did, Avni! You not just ran away from the problem, but didn't even consider me, ME, important enough, to clarify something you had doubts on!''

.

'Really, Avni. WOW! I never knew that you are one of those people who never practice what they preach!''

Avni stared at him with disbelief as his words hit her ears, making her insides churn, and for the very first time, her own conscience was prompting her, prompting her hard to feel, that maybe, maybe there indeed was something that she was not looking at properly. That there was something, she was missing.

And before she could even come to terms with what her conscience was willing for her to insinuate and accept, she heard him say with a tinge of salt, 'YOU are a coward, Avni Mehta. I would have rather had you kill me for doing to you what you thought I did to you. But what you did was choose the easiest way out. To avoid me, to forget me and to run away from me, rather than ask me reasons, reprimand me. And if that wasn't all, you even vowed to close all possible doors to hear me out, and that's precisely why you never checked your Facebo...''

He couldn't control anymore.

And so he stopped right at that before even completing the whole sentence, knowing that there was no point, no purpose of saying anything further to her, when all she had in her for him now was zilch respect, love, or affection, whereas, he...

No, he couldn't let his vulnerability show.

Not today.

Not now.

And so not sparing her another look, he turned on his heels and stormed out of the room in the same speed with which he had entered, when he had known his past, his love, was right here, where he had never expected to find her.

What was left behind was a spellbound Avni, who felt like she was being drowned in an ocean of uncertainty, where she had lost so much and could have possibly gained, but today she had lost herself, and her love, all over again.

.

...Do you still seek closure?

Or you still seek a start?

Would life still be an uncertain reign?

Or will it be a magnanimous canvas of art?

Can shattered glasses resurrect?

Like the light and dark do?

Or will it be a dead end,

Perennially for these two?

Will daybreak ever come?

Will light embark on their lives?

Or will the wounds scar them forever,

The past cutting them like deadly knives.

So, wish my naive little hearts.

Wish for what you want,

Maybe the universe will hear you for real,

And that shall lead you to a new dawn.

As she fidgeted with the ends of her cardigan, her mind constantly taking her back to everything that had happened in the afternoon between him and her in her chamber at Royal Horizon, all she could do was hopelessly try to calm herself, but to no avail.

His words were still ringing out loud in the back of her head, making the emptiness of her grand apartment only too prominent, and the darkness that this night reflected was only lesser than what she was feeling from within.

It was 9.00 p.m. in the night, and she knew that life wouldn't be the same for her anymore. And she also knew, that sleep was not going to greet her anytime any soon.

As the semblances of their conversation resurfaced in her mind, contradicting the verisimilitude of everything that she had inferred, she didn't know when and why, she harshly rubbed away her tear stains from her cheeks from the back of her palms, and like a wandering maniac, opened her laptop, rather too roughly; her fingers typing at a jet speed.

..She was intelligent, she had a good memory, so she recollected her log in credentials in less than 5 minutes, but amidst all this, Avni was indeed a coward, and today, she had no qualms accepting that categorically.

As the social networking site loaded, flashing on her screen zillions of updates, notifications, additions, et cetera, all she fixated her gaze on, was only one thing:

The message tab.

And so, without blinking, without breathing, she tapped on the tab, letting more than 682 messages pop up, but she ignored them all, only to scroll down, and down, down, and down, to finally halt at one.

NEIL KHANNA.

There was only ONE long message from him.

ONE in 8.5 years.

And that was dated, years and years back.

She gasped as another tear rolled down her cheek, and through her blurry vision, she read. She read something that was meant for her to read, long, long ago. She read something, that had she read at the right time, her life would be drastically different from it was right now. She read something that had she read before, she would have been a completely different person all together.

She read, Neil Khanna's thoughts.

Dear Avni,

I won't ask you where you are, when you will be back, and why you are doing what you are doing. But what I only want to tell you is, it hurts.

It hurts really bad.

It hurts, not because I don't have anyone else to talk to. But because, you are the only one I want to talk to. It hurts, not because I am desperate, but because it's only you I really feel desperate about.

Be it about talking to you, seeing you, or just watching you smile. I am desperate about it all. It hurts, not because I don't like anyone else's company, but because it's only you, whose company I truly want to enjoy! It hurts, not because I can't move on, but because I don't want to move on.

Can I just say, I miss you?

Avni, I am not a good person.

I don't do good, okay?

All the moral preaching, good-doings, self-sacrificing, these were not imbibed in me by anyone. I have always taken life as it comes, and I still do.

Apologies don't come naturally to me, and I can be really, really, bad. But, you know what? All of it, all these stupid, stupid, things about me, I am willing to change. Not because I need to. But because I want to. For you.

You are laughing, aren't you?

Well, I am glad, if not anything, I at least humour you! :D

But Avni, really, there's something that has bugged me since day one, ever since we started talking. No, not day one, but much later. And it is something I had been willing to tell you since long, but my mind never allowed me to, until our boards were over. Because I wanted to be sure. About a lot of things.

Mainly, me, and my feelings.

I wish my reckless, good for nothing mind had acted differently, or even better, I had been a psychic, for that way I would have known that you were to LEAVE. Just like that. Without a notice, without a talk, without a goodbye.

Had I known, I would have never, ever, waited for so long.

Avni, me sending you a friend request here on Facebook, that day, was a part of a bet.

HATE ME.

HATE ME all you want, but please don't stop reading, and don't close this tab. Please?

Yes, it was a bet, that some of my stupid friends wanted me to act on, just because it was the last year, and we all needed some fun' and hilarity to end the last year at school with!

And you know why I am a bad guy?

Because I had given in to their plan and readily accepted that bet. Why you? Because according to them, you were a tough nut to crack.

Yes, you are, and you know what? That's the best part about you!

As much as I hate myself for that bet and worse because I write this in utter shame to you about my initial involvement in that bet, I also find that day lucky, because had that bet not taken place, I would have never, ever come across you.

YOU, who has changed not just me, but everything about my life. My vision, my thoughts, my way of looking at things. EVERYTHING.

I don't know when Avni. I don't know how. But perhaps, I know why.

'Why, what?' You may ask?

WHY, I fell in love with you?

You are not surprised, are you?

It was the toughest thing I had to do to act like you didn't matter, ignore your messages, and pretend like you were a stranger at school after that Annual Sports Day, when from the inside, I was dying and churning with urge to tell you all that I felt for you. What I feel for you.

I never wanted to be with you without confessing about that bet Avni. It was the biggest guilt trip I ever went through and now as I write it to you, I am only happy about one thing and that is letting this weight lift off my chest of letting you know the truth. I wanted to wait till the boards got over to first tell you about that stupid bet and only then confess my feelings, Avni.

Because you deserve to know the truth and I never wanted to hide it. You know the irony?

Although I could never confess it all to you, I did so, to my Basketball teammates and my friends, the same ones with whom I had struck this bet in the first place. It was an epic moment! Right when you had injured your ankle at the ground on the day we collected our admit cards, in the locker room, I had confessed it to them. You should have seen their faces!

At first, I had pretended like I was still game for the bet, only to gauge their dumbstruck reactions when I confessed that actually in that whole fiasco of bet, while I should have considered you a bait in the play, I actually fell in love with you. It was dramatic. I know, I know, you always called me dramatic, while I refuted, but now even I admit. Sometimes, even I can be overly dramatic. *Sometimes* okay? ;)

Oh, did I miss out the WHY from above?

I don't think there's an answer that can actually define it Avni. Your innocence, your simplicity, your words, your beauty, your vulnerability, your intellect, your laugh, your calmness, your eyes, your thoughts. I fell in love with ALL of it. Okay?

I know you must be thinking that I am overdoing it.

But ab kya karu? This is a monologue and not an FB chat, so I can write as much as I can, right? :P

So, please.. Please Avni.

Slap me, kill me, punch me, hate me- No, scratch that. Don't hate me, I can't take it.

Double punch me, kick me.

Do ANYTHING! But please.. Wapas aa jao. (Come back) Main nahi reh sakta, tumhare bina. (I can't stay, without you.)

Just come back now.

Just.. Come back.

I am waiting.

Yours,

Neil..

.

.

Could her tear gates ever stop, when she read reality? When she felt reality? When all her theories, inferences, thoughts and conclusions, were wiped off harshly, thoroughly, only to be replaced by that one thing that was supreme above all?

The TRUTH?

As she sobbed recklessly, her eyes dangerously red, and the tears rolling down one after another, falling on her laptop, also wetting her top, a crude headache made its way, making her instantly stand up from her chair, her hands raking through her hair in frustration, helplessness, mayhem, and nothingness.

'What should I do?''

'Ye maine kya kar diya?''(What have I done?)

She reiterated like a maniac, her eyes darting at all directions, as if looking for a clue, for a cure that would help her undo, a lot of what she didn't want to do in the past but did anyway, only to regret it so, so much, over 8 years later.

And when she was deadly tired of all the crying and all that remained of her was only dried tears and a shattered soul, she desperately fidgeted, walking sporadically in her huge living room, trying fervently to find a way to contact Neil.

A thought immediately struck her and she called up Royal Horizon in a desperate move, hoping to get at least some lead on Neil, and when the receptionist from the other end picked up the call, Avni stated in an urgent voice,

'Dr... Dr. Avni here. Pl- Please give me Neil.. Neil Khanna's number.''

She tried too hard to not stutter and stifle her sobs, but was failing miserably, when she heard the receptionist speak, 'Ma'am. Neil Khanna? Umm, the one who came to pick Adrita's reports?''

Avni narrowed her brows for a while, still not able to draw a connection between Neil and Adrita, when she heard the receptionist herself add further and clarify her doubts, 'He came here to pick his niece Adrita Singh's reports, because his sister Mitali Singh couldn't be here.''

Avni immediately nodded, only to realize that the receptionist couldn't see her, so in a tone too keen, said, 'Yes, yes. Yes, Neil. Neil Khanna. Adrita's uncle. Please give me his number.''

'Ma'am, I am sorry, I don't have his number, since he wasn't the one who came as Adrita's guardian during consulting. But I can give you Mitali Singh's phone number if you want.''

Avni looked disappointed, but that lasted only for a while as she nodded and said desperately,

'Yeah. That would do. Please, please pass me on Mrs. Singh's number.''

..

It was for the 16th time that she called Mitali's cell phone, but it went straight to her voicemail, meaning the phone was not reachable.

Avni's anxiousness was increasing by the minute, and she was losing it. For once, over 8 years back, in one moment, she had felt like she had lost it all, when her heart was broken into a million pieces.

But here, her condition was far worse, because she was losing it every moment, something was breaking her from the inside, time and again.

As she sat on the floor, having no direction, no idea on how to reach Neil, how to rectify something, that she consciously didn't have a fault in, yet was accountable for, her eyes suddenly settled on something, that made her eyes remain fixated on it without a blink.

It was only after a good two minutes, that she stood up from the floor, her eyes refusing to blink, yet her heart was thudding loudly, as she took small strides towards the corner of the room, where her laptop was lying on the table.

As if in a dazzled, hypnotic state, she opened her laptop once again, maximizing the already opened tab that years ago used to be her favorite tab ever:

Facebook.

With unsteady, shaky hands, but a determined mind, and wide open eyes, she typed, finally replying to that one message, which would have made everything different today in her life.

She typed.

She cried.

She smiled.

But she didn't stop.

To Neil Khanna:

Yes, I am a coward.

Yes, I am stupid. Yes, I am mad. And know what? I am bad too.

Because I didn't give a chance to you. I never heard your side. I never confessed to you either, what I wanted to confess.

Yes, I am a coward.

Not just because I ran away from you and everything without even questioning you, or clarifying things with you. But because I was scared.

I was scared from way before to confess what I felt for you.

Are you shocked, Neil?

Don't be.

Yes, I fell in love with you.

Long before you fell for me.

It was not the Annual Sports Day. It was much, much prior to that. But I was still stupid.

To not tell you.

To not listen to you.

To not give you a chance.

To not give myself a chance.

To not give us a chance.

And the answer to your question from this morning?

No. I am not seeing anyone.

I never did. Medical science calls for a lot of dedication and time. Never had the time for dating. :P

Or maybe, I never wanted to.

But maybe.. Maybe, now I do.

But do you?

I am also sorry for such a late reply.

After 6 years, to be precise.

I told you I am stupid, mad, and now, you can add lazy too to that list, okay?

Galti ho gayi, Neil. (I made a mistake, Neil) Please maaf kar do? (Please forgive me?)

Yours and only yours,

Avni..

.

And as she hit the Send' button, her heart raced at a rapid pace, thudding out loud.

In that mere second she knew, what Neil might have gone through all these years, when his message remained not-replied to, but to his obliviousness, it also remained unread.

Here, she was impatient only in 10 minutes that she sent the message, and there, he had no iota of idea about her for so many years.

She was literally fretting in anticipation, hoping, not against hope, but still hoping that he would see the message or reply at least something, but to her disappointment, there came nothing from him.

As fresh batch of tears made their way from her eyes, only to trickle down her pale cheeks, she suddenly saw the notification that made her eyes widen in shock.

'Seen 9.32 p.m.'

A chill ran down her spine as she understood the meaning of it in its literal sense.

He read her message.

He read her confession.

He knew now.

He knew that she was in love with him.

That she still is in love with him.

And as the repercussion of it started to dawn on her, a faint smile curved up her lips, her eyes twinkling amidst the sheen of tears that they were blinded by, only to die a slow death, when she saw the green dot that had appeared only a minute ago beside his name, go away.

Panic hit her closely as the implication of it began to settle within her, the bottom line of which was only one thing:

He didn't care.
Not anymore.

And that one thing, one conclusion, was harsher than any other things that she had dealt with in her life.

You can take the love of someone, you can take the hatred, you can somehow take the ignorance too, but what you can't take at all, is their indifference.

And here, his indifference towards her, her message, her confession, was making her feel like she was being crucified on a merciless domain.

As her sobs turned louder by the seconds that passed, making the deafening silence of the room get to her, and the implication of his indifference and her regret cloud her mind thoroughly, she would have nearly missed out the little red mark show up on her notification bar of Facebook, had her laptop's audio not made the Facebook pop notification sound, bringing in her attention to the page.

With a blurry vision, she lifted her tired face to look into the screen, her eyes narrowed, looking at the notification bar, and the moment she clicked on it, she felt like all these years never even existed at all.

Because, she was taken back to the time when she was barely 18, a school-going girl, with dreams, expectations, and a lot of questions from life.

Her heart skipped a beat as she read,

'Neil Khanna tagged you in a post'

.

With a frighteningly throbbing nerve and aching heart, she let the cursor wander on the notification for a bit, only to click on it after a good 10 minutes, with some courage, and what greeted her next as the new page loaded, was shock beyond repair.

Neil Khanna Public Post:

@Avni Mehta You took 8 long years to reply to something I had asked you, but now that you finally have, just answer this one final question, for the first and last time.

Will You Marry Me?

**

Epilogue

Splendid job dear .

I loved the confrontation part of all . ESP the part in Avni's cabin

Dunno whom I felt more bad . 😆

Just a mere miscommunication could create a havoc in lives . If Avni had reprimanded him the thing would have been much different . She was so hard on herself all these years and punished Neil too.

Both are equally to be blamed . Neil for doing all this for a bet and Avni for never demanding explanation from him

At last he asked her hands in marriage😃

Great job!

Ch-2?

Chapter 3 is already up! Their meeting, I mean 😉😆

his proposal ☺️