Posted:
I have given up on watching Ishqbaaaz for quite some time now, ever since the night when Pinky gave Annika that 3 day challenge. I just couldn't make myself watch it - for one it was painful, for two I found it a bit lame, to be honest. And so I stopped watching, however what I couldn't stop was loving Shivika and thinking about them all the time.
I recently had a little free time on my hand so I thought I'd give the epis a try. I resumed watching from where I had left off and then the idea for this one hit me. It takes place on the same night when Pinky challenges Annika and Gauri throws her into the pool, and the day that followed. I've taken the actual scenes and modified them a bit and then hit it off from there. I hope you all like it :)
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Part 1: All About Last Night
Annika opened her eyes. It was still dark, the faint rays of sunshine just starting to make their way through the small gaps between the closed curtains. Still groggy from waking up so early, she had to blink a few times to realise that she wasn't sleeping on her bed like the other days. Instead she was perched awkwardly on the edge of one of the sofas in her room. She looked at the bed. It was empty.
She sat up straight as the events of the previous evening started to make their way through her senses. She looked wistfully at the rustled sheets, though they haven't exactly been slept in the last night.
************
She was cold, dripping wet as he sat her down on the bed. He was too and yet his body radiated a strange kind of heat and she didn't want to let go of that for one second. As soon as he laid her down, she pulled him in and caressed his face. Suddenly, he smiled, and his eyes lit up. Then surprising her even more, he pulled her into a tight hug.
"I love you," he whispered against her ears. Her breath hitched and she grew still in his arms. She wanted to say something but her tongue felt heavy.
He drew back and looked into her eyes. Then he bent down and slightly pecked her lips. Once and twice. Slowly he bent over her, and laid her down on the bed. Then he pressed his lips on hers, this time claiming them with more force and authority, like they belonged to him. She kissed him back, like a reflex and felt her fingers knotting in his hair. But as the kiss grew deeper and more prolonged, it started to provide her with a different kind of clarity. He wanted her. She wanted him. But it wasn't that easy, was it?
It was then that it hit her, the full magnitude of what she was doing and was about to do, and she drew back, gasping for air as the realisation knocked the breath out of her.
"Shivaay," her voice shook as she whispered his name, just like all the other parts of her body as she lay slightly panting beneath him, trying to find her strength amongst the chaotic plethora of emotions that she was feeling right now.
Shivaay moved down to kiss the angle of her jawbones, then he slid his fingers over her wet skin all the way down to her collarbones, following it with a trail of soft kisses. "You're. So. Beautiful." He whispered in between the kisses. He moved up to touch his nose against her ear lobes, burying his face in her hair while his fingers continued to glide down her arms. His warm breath made her shiver, his lips burned wherever they touched her skin. Annika closed her eyes, sighed and felt her fingers get interlocked with his, as he started drawing small circles on the back of her palm. There was nowhere else that she wanted to be at this moment, nothing else that she could desire. And yet, this was not somewhere she was allowed to be, this was not something she was allowed to have.
"Three days, to get the hell out of my son's life," Pinky's words were like a jolt to her subconscious. What the hell was she doing? This was not the right time.
"Shivaay," she tried again and this time the sound came out stronger. His body stilled at the change in her voice and he pulled away from her. His blue eyes studied her face and he frowned as he read the turmoil in her eyes. "Annika? What is it? What's wrong?"
"Shivaay, I can't," she said, turning away from his worried gaze. She dug her nails.into her palms to keep herself from shivering.
"But why?"
"I just can't." She felt her throat starting to close up. She pushed him away and he was too surprised to react. "Not today," she added as she tidied her clothes and managed to run across the room to the door, moving out just in time as a series of violent sobs wracked her whole frame.
************
When she had come back to the room later last night, Shivaay was gone. She had tried to call him but then she did not know what exactly she could say to him, so she had hung up. She had sat on the sofa for two hours, waiting for him to come back before finally dozing off into an uneasy, fitfull sleep.
She walked over to the bed, her chest heaving in a deep sigh as she started straightening out the sheets. And that's when she noticed it.
Her bracelet was missing.
Confused, she looked around herself on the floor. It was nowhere to be seen. She looked into the creases of the sheets, inside the blanket, under the pillows. She bent down to check under the bed, over the sofa where she had been sleeping and under it too. Nothing.
She went over to the huge glass windows overlooking the pool and drew back the curtains. The water glistened in the soft morning light and it's reflection shone in her eyes. It brought back the memories with such crushing intensity that she had to catch her breath. This is where it all had started last night.
************
"I'm so sorry Annika"
"I know I over reacted, I shouldn't have."
"It was all my fault, I know you had nothing to do with Prinku's wedding," the sincerity in his eyes was unmistakable. And yet all Annika could feel was this burning anger well up deep inside her, threatening to destroy the core of her being.
Anger at him for lashing out on her, not trusting her despite all the promises that he'd made to her.
Anger at herself for knowing the deepest secret about his past, for digging herself a deep well to fall into, out of her own curiosity. There was no way she could un-know those secrets now.
Anger at Pinky aunty for using her knowledge to serve her own selfish purposes. For disappointing her once again and shattering her illusion of a possible future with the only man she had ever loved.
Anger at Gauri for bringing them together when all she wanted was to sit and cry at her cursed fate alone.
And now he was apologising and making it all worse.
"Can we not talk about it please?" She said and her voice came out tired. She was worn out from the inside, what had she done to deserve this?
She started to move away from him. He held her hand and pulled her back towards him. He twisted her hand to keep it in place, and she knew she could never outrun him. She felt the familiar sting of tears as she looked into his solemn blue eyes, and she felt the anger starting to dissolve.
"You shouted at me in front of everyone Shivaay. You knew I didn't do anything, and yet you," she couldn't complete her sentence as the tears finally found their way to the surface. He put his palms around her face, and stroked away the tears. She was trying hard not to cry, to hold on to the anger that she was feeling moments ago and yet she was suddenly tired, tired of fighting and all she wanted was to give in to his solace.
"I can fight with the whole world, but I can't fight with you," she spoke in a choked voice.
"I'm so sorry Annika," he spoke in a pained voice. "I promise it won't happen again, I promise," he said with fervour. She closed her eyes and let the tears flow freely, resting her face in his hands.
"You know I can't see tears in your eyes. And I hate it more when I know I'm the reason why they're there." She opened her eyes at the sheer pain in his voice. His blue eyes had turned grey, smoldering with an unnamed emotion as he looked at her and it almost knocked all air out of her lungs. She started to shiver a little, being soaked to the bones. Her stomach churned weirdly and her heart was thumping loudly to an uneven rhythm.
He slowly bent down and kissed her forehead. He paused there for a moment and then moved down to kiss her eyelids tenderly, one at a time. The water was cold and his body was radiating the perfect warmth and she unknowingly leaned into him. Taking his time, he moved his nose down hers, breathing into her skin. She felt as if there was electricity in the air, which made the hair at the nape of her neck stand up and there were goosebumps on her arms. She clutched the back of his kurta to hold herself steady as his lips came down to the same level as hers. Her lips parted and she tried to control her breathing and her erratic heartbeat as he pressed his lips to hers in one swift motion. The kiss was tender, and at once all the chaos inside her died down. Instead she felt a new surge of emotions inside her, so different from the ones she had been feeling so long.
It lasted for a short moment before he broke off to look at her. His eyes had turned dark, and his voice was a raw whisper when he said, "You take away my breath, Annika."
That was when she lost it. She seized his lips in a swift gesture and kissed him. Kissed him hard. He was taken by surprise at the sudden move but then he complied and they were two souls, passionate and seeking each other out. When they broke free for air, she moved up to kiss his face. His cheekbones, the angles of his jaw. He nuzzled her neck, planting kisses all the way till he reached the hollow at the base of her neck, then he moved along her left collarbone, turning her around to face her back and kiss her shoulders, sucking away the little drops of water that dripped from her wet hair onto her skin. She closed her eyes and arched her back slightly, moving closer to him and into his embrace, fitting into his frame like the matching piieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
"Let's move to our room," he had muttered against her skin at some point of time and she had nodded. She did not remember much about how they reached the bedroom from the pool though. She was a shivering, quivering mess of hormones and emotions in his arms. As he laid her down on the bed, all she could think of was how she wanted him, and he wanted her and that's all that mattered.
Did it though?
************
The pool! That's where it must be, Annika thought to herself.
As soon as she neared the door she heard a familiar set of footsteps leading up to the door and immediately her heart picked up pace. She wasn't prepared for this, how could she face him after what happened last night?
Shivaay entered the room and saw her standing near the door. She looked at the floor, unable to meet his eyes. It did nothing to calm down her racing heart when he started moving towards her. His fingers tugged at her chin and she had to look up at him unwillingly. His expression was unreadable.
"You're up early," he said with some surprise in his voice.
"I didn't get much sleep last night," she spoke promptly as a drop of tear rolled down her cheeks. He looked at it and shook his head in disapproval.
"I'm so sorry Shivaay," Her voice was a hoarse whisper.
Shivaay moved in closer and cupped her face, flicking away the lone teardrop resting on her cheek. "You know I hate tears in your eyes," he said in a thick voice. "I don't know what happened with you yesterday, Annika. But whatever it is, I hope you'd share it with me. I can't do anything if I don't know what's bothering you in the first place!"
She froze. What could she possibly tell him?
She backed out from his hold and his hands fell to his sides. "I have to go," the coldness of her own voice surprised her. She could see the pain clearly in his face now and it broke her heart into a thousand pieces to hurt him like this.
"You have to go," he repeated after her lifelessly, his eyes searching hers in vain for some reason behind her strange behaviour.
She broke the stare and took a step towards the door. "Yes. I can't find my bracelet and I need to-" her words were replaced by a gasp as he reached out and whirled her around in one swift motion. His eyes were blazing fierecely as he looked into hers and she gulped, trying to steady herself.
"Damn it Annika! Do you even want this relationship to work out or not?" He spoke after a few moments and his question lashed out to her like a thunderbolt.
"Ofcourse I do," was what she wanted to say at once. But she couldn't. She bit her toungue so hard she thought it might start to bleed.
"Annika! I'm talking to you dammit!" His voice was so loud it made her jump. "What do you want from this relationship? You have to tell me, coz I don't have any freaking clue right now! I laid my heart bare for you last night, I said I loved you-" he looked into her eyes and maybe it was because of what he saw there but he calmed down a little. "I just want to know what's bothering you Annika, just tell me what it is. Just trust me once, ok? Tell me what went wrong last night, tell me what I can do," his words hung on the air between them choking her. She could take the lashing out but not this. And she could not risk another break down, could not fall weak and let last night repeat itself again.
"I don't know!" Her voice came out unexpectedly shrill and he staggered. Seizing the opportunity she freed herself of his hold and pushed him back. "I don't know what I want ok! I just...I just want to find my bracelet now, because I've...I've lost it and I can't find it anywhere and until I find it I can't think about anything else," her voice was on the verge of breaking now.
"Annika-" he tried to touch her shoulder but she moved further away from him.
"I need to go," she said and half ran through the door - behind her she could still hear him calling her name but she didn't stop. She made a beeline for the poolside as soon as she was out of the room. The whole house was silent since all the others were still sleeping.
Once there, she stopped to catch her breath and rubbed away the tears from eyes. She took a few shaky steps towards the pool and looked into the water.
Nothing.
She looked around some more, along the sides and all over the floor where she had walked with Gauri the night before. The bracelet was nowhere to be found.
Crushed with disappointment, she returned to the poolside and looked into the blue water again, into her reflection and she almost didn't recognise herself. The hollowness of her own eyes scared her. Her knees gave way and she plopped down on the raised edge of the pool.
What was she supposed to do? The feeling of loss was eating her up from within. She had lost one of her strongest supports already and was about to lose another one soon. After a long time in her life she felt so utterly and completely alone, like she had nothing to lean on anymore.
Something glistening at the bottom of the pool caught her eye and she reached down to pick it up. It was one of the small, golden moon shaped charms from her bracelet.
Clutching it to herself, she let her tears flow freely and as they fell into the pool, they created small ripples in the water, disrupting her reflection and she was glad she couldn't see those ghostly eyes anymore. She cried until she was exhausted, and then she rubbed away the tears and lifted herself up. She couldn't waste any more time, she had a lot to do today.
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Part 2 and 3 will be up soon. Please do leave your likes and comments, would love to hear what you all think of this one :)
- Archie
CID
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
