Shivika OS: A Closed Book 10-07-17

~A Closed Book~

|| A ShivIka OS ||

He had always been a closed book, always masking his feelings and standing strong for his family but today he could no more hide his inner turmoil than he could hide the fact that he loved her.

The pain in his heart intensified and he raised his stormy blue eyes to meet his brother's anxious chocolate ones.

His brother lowered his own eyes. They had scoured the entire city searching for Annika after she left the party abruptly. It was Shivaay's engagement ceremony with Ragini Malhotra earlier that evening, and the entire function had been an ordeal. He had seen the hurt mirrored in her eyes but had been powerless to soothe it. In fact he had blamed her for the pain she had inflicted upon him.

They said, pride might have left many hearts broken and blue,

But when heart was trampled on, pride was all that got you through**

Pride had made him flaunt Ragini to her face, pride had made him act indifferent to her pain. Small thing, pride. Now standing in the empty hallway, hours later, he knew he would never be able to bear it if that pride cost him the love of his life.

The clock chimed and Shivaay glanced up mechanically- 3 am.

It had been five hours.

Annika was still missing.

Not wanting to helplessly wait for news, Shivaay wordlessly headed out for the fifth time that night with Om beside him. Om got behind the wheel while Shivaay sat in the passenger seat. It was raining heavily, the raindrops falling in a rhythmic pattern on the windshield, blurring vision. Closing his eyes, his mind went back to the chapters of the past.

Chapter One: Teardrops in the rain

She stood on the deserted road, a lonely figure in white, as rain poured down upon her heedlessly. He stepped out of his car, snug and dry in the large umbrella and looked at her drenched yet proud form.

"The rain can hide your tears but not the fact that you have lost." He told her, his voice gloating.

Removing a blank cheque from his coat, he asked her for her price. She was shivering and he watched her without an ounce of compassion as she narrated how he had destroyed her and just when he thought she would accept defeat and accept money from him, she said,

"Our enmity is 72 hour old, but I have an enmity with life for as long as I can remember. I called you to tell you that your time is up and yet I'm here before you with my head held high. You lost, Mr Shivaay Singh Oberoi"

His eyes widened at the unexpected blow he received from her words. He had a few words of his own. Painful words, giving her a reality check.

He exited thrusting the blank cheque in her hands asking her to fill it with the amount that was to be her price.

The next day, he felt a rush of triumph when he found that the cheque had been cashed. But his victory was short lived as he realized that Annika was spending that money for his own wedding celebrations.

Little did he know that, in that moment, Annika, a nobody from nowhere, became a proud owner of a small piece of Shivaay Singh Oberoi's heart.

Because a challenge wasn't the only thing he lost to her that day.

He looked around from the window trying to search for the woman who was the centre of his universe. He hoped he would find her soon so that he could tell her that he had been losing to her ever since.

**

"If Annika bhabhi left immediately after the rings were exchanged, she could be anywhere by now." Said Om perturbed as he took another sharp turn. Shivaay remembered the look on her face clearly as he put the ring on Ragini's finger. Her eyes looked as if all was lost.

The emptiness in her eyes mirrored his own.

Somewhere in his ego, to prove it to Annika that her moving on didn't hurt, he had asked Ragini to be his pretend girlfriend. But somehow the media had got the wind of it and Ragini's name had been splashed on the papers as his mistress making him honour bound to offer for her or rather he was coerced into offering for her by her brother-Samar Jeet Malhotra, his own mother and his bade papa whom, Samar had apparently threatened with something dire.

He still remembered how Ragini had cried that her reputation was ruined courtesy Shivaay's mindless games and he thought of Annika and another chapter of his life.

Chapter Two: The Ruined Reputations and Stolen hearts

He stood surprised as she looked at ACP Ranveer Singh Randhawa in the eye and without a second thought, lied through her teeth knowing that the lie would have her reputation in shreds.

"Look at his clothes" she said calmly "These are the same clothes he had worn last night. He spent the whole night with me."

He looked at her in awe remembering how he had chucked her out of the house after slaying her and humiliating her with words and yet there she was, saving him from being imprisoned in the Gayatri murder case.

That day, her statement ensured that Shivaay Singh Oberoi wasn't put behind the bars but the same couldn't be said for Shivaay Singh Oberoi's heart which was chained to her from that moment on.

And he knew it would be imprisoned for life.

He ran his hands on the smooth surface of his phone that had a photo of her,

"Where are you, Annika? he said in a tortured whisper.

**

"I wish you had told me Om" Shivaay said, after a while, cutting the tensed silence in the car.

"I wish I had too" Om replied.

When the party had broken up at around 10 pm, he had walked inside in search of Annika only to find a drunk Rudra sitting on the bar counter. The moment Rudra had seen Shivaay, the younger man had created a scene. He had accused him of breaking his bhabhi's heart who sacrificed everything for his happiness without giving herself a second thought. It was then that the whole story had come pouring out. Even though Om had tried to shut Rudra up, Gauri had decided that enough was enough. Locked in Rudra's bedroom, Gauri, Bhavya and Om narrated to him the events that transpired three months ago.

The told him how his own mother had hated Annika, how she had bribed Nayantara and subjected both him and Annika to public mudslinging, how she had gone so far in the hate game that she supported Priyanka in her wrong doings, how she had blackmailed Annika to do something that would make Shivaay throw her out. How Annika had confessed it all to OmRu and sworn them into silence. They didn't tell him what she was blackmailed with but at that moment, it wasn't important.

The blow of his mother's betrayal had been deadly but he could see that it was the truth as all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. When Om told him, how the last day of Annika's brutal revelations and accusations was all pre-planned so that he would throw her out, Shivaay broke down and cursed himself for his stupidity.

Breaking his train of thought, he made a few calls to the commissioner and the hospitals nearby. Bhavya had organized an independent search party but there was no response from them as well.

The pain in his chest intensified and he felt his eyes burn as he thought of the depth and the purity of her love. He blinked and touched his cheeks. He couldn't believe he was crying.

Chapter Three: The Love Confessions

He waited with bated breath knowing what that she was going to confess her feelings for him. His heart beat erratically as he watched her gather her scattered thoughts and had a fuzzy feelings in his stomach.

"We all have that one person in our lives who is more important than anyone else, more than our own selves. They are very lucky who have such a person in their lives for whom they can die for and live for. They are their weakness as well as their biggest strength. The one who sorts out all the problems and assures them that whether someone else is there or not, they will always be there for you, in every problem, in every grief. Whose happiness is attached with yours. You are that person in my life."

Nothing had prepared him for those words or the impact they held. He was swamped by innumerable feelings and his chest constricted. Words escaped him. She had given him a place in her life that many only dreamed of having. She had loved him in a way everyone wanted to be loved.

No one had loved him that way, ever.

**

"Shivaay." Om said, braking so hard that if it weren't for the restraining confines of the seat belt, his face would have smashed in the windshield. As the wiper blades cleared the glass, he saw a lonely drenched figure walking in the rain. He didn't need to see the gold of her dress to know it was her, his heart was already alerted to her presence.

Jumping out of the car he ran to her. Her eyes were glassy and she was almost stumbling. Without a word, Shivaay took her in his arms and to his horror, he realized that though she was conscious, she wasn't in her senses. She was burning up and he doubted if she even knew that he was holding her.

He felt something inside him shrivel up and die and he wanted to shake her and tell her never to harm herself for him.. that he wasn't worth it.

Chapter four: The Twin Flames

He had worked himself up in quiet a state while she lay on the bed watching him with a calm smile on her face.

"What was the reason to take the bullet upon yourself? Luckily the bullet just grazed you and passed. You could have lost your life" he told her, his fear and worry making the words sound harsher than he intended.

"Whether the bullet hit you or whether it hit me, the life that would be lost would be mine." She replied quietly.

He wanted to shake her, to tell her that she had no right to risk her life because her life was his alone.

He did none of that. He settled for taking care of her, instead.

But his heart never got over the fact that she loved him as fiercely as he loved her.

**

Om ushered both of them in the waiting car. Shivaay got in the back seat with Annika in his arms. Om turned on the heater and handed Shivaay his dry jacket which he put over Annika's shoulders. He pressed her face to his damp chest and tried rubbing her arms to infuse warmth.

"Don't take her away--- chutki!!!" she screamed and Shivaay felt goose bumps over his skin. Her eyes were closed and she kept mumbling to herself. Shivaay quickly made a call to the doctor and asked badi maa to inform Bhavya to call off the search party.

"Who is Chutki?" Om asked, his brow tensed after he had finished talking.

"I don't know." Said Shivaay ashamed that he didn't. He remembered one other time she screamed that name.

He tapped her lightly on her cheek trying to bring her into consciousness but she was far too delirious for that.

"Don't hit me.. please don't hit me." She whispered.

The pleading note in her voice snapped something deep inside him, his hands clenched into fists as Om turned to him once again.

"Shivaay, why does it feel as if Annika was a victim of abuse?" he asked horrified.

The horror was mirrored in Shivaay's eyes as well along with the knowledge that he had hardly known anything about Annika's past. He might have been a closed book for the world but he had been an open book for Annika. She knew him more than he knew himself. That was the reason she could execute her plan the way she did.

But Annika's past had been a closed book. She had been a closed book. Whatever bits he had known of her past, had fuelled his temper making him wreak havoc in the house. He had promised himself to make her the happiest woman alive. But unknowingly he had inflicted fresh pain over pain. He felt a strange fear that the far traumatic bits of her past were still unknown to him. As the car halted near the Oberoi mansion were a team of doctors and the rest of the family members stood, Shivaay took her to the bedroom and lay her on the bed and then the nurses ushered him out.

Waiting outside he watched as Om finished telling Bhavya and Gauri about Annika's delirious ramblings and he felt rage course through him at the thought that someone had hit Annika to a point that the trauma was imprinted in her subconscious mind. The rage was in Om's and Bhavya's eyes as well while Gauri tried to calm them down.

Standing there, he promised himself that he would find that person who hurt Annika if he had to drag them out from hell itself. He would them tear them apart from limb to limb and make them sorry they were born.

He promised himself that Annika would never be a closed book for him again. He would never take her words, her fears or her suspicions lightly. He promised himself that he would renounce the naam, khoon, khaandaan that had separated Annika from him. Without his naam, khoon, khandaan, Ragini wouldn't have any interest in him nor would his mother taunt her- not that he cared for his mother's opinion anymore.

He promised he would wipe off every aspect in his book that separated him from Annika till every page in the book of his life screamed that one name that ruled his heart.

Annika. Annika. Annika.

____________

They said, pride might have left many hearts broken and blue,

But when heart was trampled on, pride was all that got you through**

--an Excerpt from Storm in a teacup