Damad & Bahu!!! EDITED

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Anushka

@LoveAnushka

Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 8 years ago

#21

Speaking frankly, sometimes I like your posts and sometimes I disagree with it. Not being rude😊

Its all about perspectives that everyone has.

Anyway I have read almost every post but was not able to comment due to my studies.

Coming to this one...Pehle bata doon, main teenage girl hoon, so I understand slowly, So pardon mistakes, and whatever I feel, I'm speaking.

Firstly, I would say, I know how society is, even today, they are behind having a son and then cherishing it as parents, or Ishwari, like you said being Queen and all...All is right but somewhere I feel society is changing.

What I feel, in reality it is!!! Not all moms are like Ishwari but all mother in laws are...

What I mean is, this is not case with my family, talking about family includes only my mummy, daddy, I and my younger sister. For me, I and my sis, are treated as son only, be it at anything, from emotions like love to materialistic things, at everything we are like princess, same as Sonakshi.

Positive thinking can never be negligible, can it be?

talking about mother in laws, yes they R old that's why they want son, like old society's beliefs, like my Mom's MIL, she is not Ishwari but she is a OK one. I love her and even she does. But somewhere unhe ye baat khati hai ki unke 3 betiyaan aur mere daddy ki total 8 ladkiyaan, sirf meri ek badi bua ka ek beta. She was hoping badly for a son when my sis was to be born or even me aur my cousins, I think.

Its all about generations and their mindsets. I'm sure.

Then talking about Sona, yes she should speak about what's going on in her mind to Dev, open communication for sure is needed in couples. You see, even with NehVeer.

I know Sona's roaming down at night on streets was bad idea but Dev knows that and he came rushing to her. And it is all fictitious but still, Sona is newly married and she was enjoying his attention, so no harm in tadpoing your husband, nahi? But yes something bad could have happened, but Ok, all good, no worries then.

And then way she said all things to him was really Bang On! about outsider and keeping her away from problems, she was right, marrying was not only thing and not only Love but even discussing was something Dixits need to learn from Boses.

Coming to Ishwari, I don't wanna talk about how hell she is irritating. Can't this lady stop being Sherlock Holmes, always on her toes, where his her Beta, what is eating her Beta, why her Beta didn't called, where her BETA sleeps, goes, talks, etc...etc...etc...

And Radharani, Maha irritating, Can she be more Dense? talking about how Bose were treating Their Damaad and U R right, what about them treating their Damaad. Her talking to Ranveer's family about how they treat Their Bahu, i.e., Neha, and what about them treating Their bahu, i.e., Sona?

Only mama ji is actually savior in their family or else most Elder persons, note it, Elder are Bonkers.

And your Edited part is absolutely right. Both needs to be happy and make each other happy then only they will be a happy couple and lead a happy life and will be able to handle RR, Ishu and now Neha...because one day or other their one bomb exploding in their family.

BTW, I love your experience, as reading or hearing others experience and perspectives, is what I love to do. As we get to know what other person thinks about this world and experience are something I find intriguing, be it any ones. In fact everyone do like it, I'm sure.

Sorry, kuch zyada lamba hogaya. i'm really sorry. I'm shocked too, that I have never replied to anyone this big one. But still I'm little young to understand from yours as you are elder to me, so difference is there but I do love your experience😉

Love,

Anushka.

P.S, I loved your one story you shared in another post about 2 child, how they steal, one mom scolds one and other doesn't. It is all about parenting how one does.I liked that one. Tfs.

And even I love your way of writing how you write in your topics. Continue like this.👏

Quote

Tia.0

@Tia.0

Sparkler

+ 6

Posted: 8 years ago

#22

Hi Anushka,

Thanks for putting forth your thoughts. It's good that you have given an idea about your age. It's always good to know what today's young generation thinks. My post is open forum to all. I absolutely don't mind if you disagree with me, provided they treat opposing opinion with respect like you did.

Coming to your points. I am in my 30s and married for 5 years. I know the mindset of the society and how a loving mother can sometimes turn out to be a not-so-loving mother-in-law. But what my points were that there are a lot of things that is going on in society that is unacceptable. For example, treating a girl child differently than a boy child, child marriage, child labour, depriving a child from basic education, rape culture, blaming the victim if she is a woman etc etc.

But we can't continue to turn a blind eye to them because this is the mindset. If that is the mindset, then it's about time to change it.

We all get one shot at life. Sorry, I might be an insect in next life or may be never be born again, who knows. So this life that we got now, is precious. And the absolute worst feeling in the world is that at the end of our life we look back and feel regret.

As we get older, time starts to feel more important than anything else. I am in my 30s and thinking that may be someday soon I won't have my grandmother anymore. When I am in my 50s, I will probably worry about losing my mother and/or mother-in-law. So yes, my relationship with the older member of my family definitely matter.

Recently my mom-in-law had to fight cancer. She survived but we all worried for her and was also worried of losing her too soon. I only had about 6 years with her (one year before marriage).

But it doesn't mean that if they are not treating someone with respect I won't speak up. Because by keeping my mouth shut just because I love them is not doing them any favour, but actually participating in making another person miserable.

I have an aunt (friend of family) who treated her daughter-in-law really bad. I told her point blank in front of her family that if she treats her daughter-in-law with disrespect at least in front of me and I see her son watching it silently, I can't talk about others, but I won't ever step foot in her house. I won't even enter a place, let alone drink a drop of water where women are disrespected.

For the same reason, I don't visit a lot of temples where they ban women entering because they are having periods nor I go to temples where they have different queues for poor and rich people.

I am willing to stand in long queue, but I am not willing to stand in front of my God and look into His eyes when I used my money to get to Him faster. I personally don't think I'd be earning any brownie points with Him by participating in segregation of His children.

But that's my moral code. Not everyone needs to follow that.

The reason I was complaining about Sona is the same reason I complained during Neha and Ranveer track.

I said both times that if you want to tadpao your husband, fine. Tell him your grievances and then let him earn your forgiveness. Don't bend over backward to forgive him super fast.

But talk first. Because you may find they are more willing to work with you to make you happy than against you. After all, they can't be happy if you are unhappy. Sona certainly got away easy. But it could have turned worse. However, what she said was on point. I wish she said more like Dev taking decisions on her behalf.

Ishwari and Radha are two biggest hypocrites and their sense of entitlement is astonishing. I hope Vicky ruins Dev's business and Sona and Saurabh saves it. They need to be taken down a peg or two from their high horse.

Anyhoo, feel free to share what you feel. I am happy to read other peoples thoughts and experiences and sometimes may be learn for it.

For example, Sabita (Gemini) is older than me and I am happy to learn from her experience as well.

Cheerios!!!

Originally posted by: LoveAnushka
Speaking frankly, sometimes I like your posts and sometimes I disagree with it. Not being rude😊
Its all about perspectives that everyone has.
Anyway I have read almost every post but was not able to comment due to my studies.
Coming to this one...Pehle bata doon, main teenage girl hoon, so I understand slowly, So pardon mistakes, and whatever I feel, I'm speaking.
Firstly, I would say, I know how society is, even today, they are behind having a son and then cherishing it as parents, or Ishwari, like you said being Queen and all...All is right but somewhere I feel society is changing.
What I feel, in reality it is!!! Not all moms are like Ishwari but all mother in laws are...
What I mean is, this is not case with my family, talking about family includes only my mummy, daddy, I and my younger sister. For me, I and my sis, are treated as son only, be it at anything, from emotions like love to materialistic things, at everything we are like princess, same as Sonakshi.
Positive thinking can never be negligible, can it be?
talking about mother in laws, yes they R old that's why they want son, like old society's beliefs, like my Mom's MIL, she is not Ishwari but she is a OK one. I love her and even she does. But somewhere unhe ye baat khati hai ki unke 3 betiyaan aur mere daddy ki total 8 ladkiyaan, sirf meri ek badi bua ka ek beta. She was hoping badly for a son when my sis was to be born or even me aur my cousins, I think.
Its all about generations and their mindsets. I'm sure.
Then talking about Sona, yes she should speak about what's going on in her mind to Dev, open communication for sure is needed in couples. You see, even with NehVeer.
I know Sona's roaming down at night on streets was bad idea but Dev knows that and he came rushing to her. And it is all fictitious but still, Sona is newly married and she was enjoying his attention, so no harm in tadpoing your husband, nahi? But yes something bad could have happened, but Ok, all good, no worries then.
And then way she said all things to him was really Bang On! about outsider and keeping her away from problems, she was right, marrying was not only thing and not only Love but even discussing was something Dixits need to learn from Boses.
Coming to Ishwari, I don't wanna talk about how hell she is irritating. Can't this lady stop being Sherlock Holmes, always on her toes, where his her Beta, what is eating her Beta, why her Beta didn't called, where her BETA sleeps, goes, talks, etc...etc...etc...
And Radharani, Maha irritating, Can she be more Dense? talking about how Bose were treating Their Damaad and U R right, what about them treating their Damaad. Her talking to Ranveer's family about how they treat Their Bahu, i.e., Neha, and what about them treating Their bahu, i.e., Sona?
Only mama ji is actually savior in their family or else most Elder persons, note it, Elder are Bonkers.
And your Edited part is absolutely right. Both needs to be happy and make each other happy then only they will be a happy couple and lead a happy life and will be able to handle RR, Ishu and now Neha...because one day or other their one bomb exploding in their family.

BTW, I love your experience, as reading or hearing others experience and perspectives, is what I love to do. As we get to know what other person thinks about this world and experience are something I find intriguing, be it any ones. In fact everyone do like it, I'm sure.

Sorry, kuch zyada lamba hogaya. i'm really sorry. I'm shocked too, that I have never replied to anyone this big one. But still I'm little young to understand from yours as you are elder to me, so difference is there but I do love your experience😉

Love,
Anushka.

P.S, I loved your one story you shared in another post about 2 child, how they steal, one mom scolds one and other doesn't. It is all about parenting how one does.I liked that one. Tfs.
And even I love your way of writing how you write in your topics. Continue like this.👏

Edited by tia.o - 8 years ago

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Damad & Bahu!!! EDITED - Page 3

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