HER FIRE
"Krishna! Govinda! Narayana! Keshava! Madhava! Madhusudhana! Ramachandra!"
Dharani muttered random names of Lord Vishnu to calm herself down. Her anger was never a good indication.
Her mother often called her anger like that of Bhadra Kali Herself. What her mother didn't know was that she had sort of gotten it right.
"Behena, Dharaa, in addition to Her usual characteristics, will have some characteristics from the two of us and Mahadev as well", said Lord Vishnu.
"Such as?", asked Devi Parvati.
"Such as your Kali and Gauri, Mahadev's Rudra and Shankar, and my Shantakaram and Narasimham", said Lord Vishnu.
"In that order", interjected Bhudevi.
"In that order?", asked Devi Parvati, shaking Her head at Her brother's grin.
"In that order. Her anger is to be feared", said Lord Narayana. "Not that it already isn't scary. But this time around, Her anger will give people chills"
"Swami!", said Bhudevi, rolling Her eyes.
"Are you rolling your eyes at me, love?", asked Govinda, grinning.
"I am", She said. "You are incorrigible"
"I know I am", said the Lord.
"Before you both continue your argument, can I say something?", asked Lord Shankar, eyes twinkling.
"Please Mahadev", said Bhujagasayana. "You don't have to ask permission"
"Narayana!", said Lord Shiva, rolling His eyes. "Anyway, I think the world will learn a lot"
"They will", said Lord Vishnu, grinning.
Dharani placed her head on her book, fat tears making their way down her eyes. She couldn't digest the words. She was still hurting from the previous night. For her mother to call her devious simply because she wouldn't open up to her mother was ravaging her.
"I am your mother", said Radhika.
"You are", said Dharani.
"And you are not capable of shedding a single tear in front of me. What stone are you made of?", asked her mother.
"You forbade me from crying", said Dharani, protesting.
"In front of your grandmother. She will be very angry if she sees you cry", said Radhika. "She is asleep now. You can cry"
"I don't have tears left", said Dharani.
"You mean you don't care that you failed", said her mother. "You are an utter failure"
"What makes you think I didn't cry?", asked Dharani.
"You wouldn't have. You are too busy texting some friend all the time", said her mother. "All your Krishna Bhakti is fake"
"Excuse me?", said Dharani, anger visible in her eyes.
"It isn't fake", corrected Radhika. "But very artificial if you keep saying His name"
"It isn't Amma", said Dharani.
"I am right. You are wrong", said her mother.
"You don't have to be right always", said Dharani. "And you are wrong, in this aspect"
"We will see", said her mother. "Whatever it is, you are dangerous"
"I am what?", asked Dharani, shocked.
"You are too deep. Someone who cannot show out emotions to people easily are dangerous. You have everything bottled up within you. No one knows when it will burst", said Radhika.
But they didn't know that she had someone with who she can be her true self. She had Him, her Krishna. He always listened to her, and never judged her for anything. He was all she needed.
Yes, she had hurt and disappointed her parents completely. She understood their point of view. But about not crying in front of them, they had pushed her away. Her father never cared much about her emotions, and her mother thought only of her studies. They seemed to forget Dharani was human. Her mother forbade her from tears, and then asks her to cry. Are rules so selective?
Her startling eyes took in the wet pages in front of her. She observed the wetness drying from the page, even as she stared at it. Like the fan drying the water on the pages, she also had been brought back with a new life every time. And that is what Krishna did to her. Bring her back every time she fell down. He was her strength. He was her All.
"Follow every single thing I say. Listen to every single thing I say", said her mother. "It is then that you will succeed"
And here came the problem. Bhudevi she might be, but she was born with other traits, and born for a bigger game and purpose. She didn't like being controlled. She can listen to her mother. But every single thing was impossible for her to do. She was unrestrained like the water, but bound like the Earth. She was fiery like fire, and changing directions as and when she wished like the wind. She looked at the Sky for protection and shelter as well.
"Don't get distracted", she muttered to herself, turning back to her studies. She had to prove herself. She had to fulfill her parents' wishes. She had messed up enough.
A few hours later..
Dharani heaved a sigh of relief. She was done with two units for her exam. She needed a break. What could she do? She sat there, pondering over what to do.
"Dharani!"
Radhika walked into the room.
"Amma?", asked Dharani, looking at her mother.
"What are you doing?", asked Radhika.
"I just finished two units for the exam. I was wondering about taking a break", said Dharani, half scared about what her mother will say.
"Break?", shrieked Radhika.
Oh good! My ears aren't damaged at all', thought Dharani.
"No break and all. Write what you have studied verbatim", said Radhika.
"I don't study verbatim. I learn the concepts and use my English and knowledge to develop on them", said Dharani.
"Definitions", asked her mother.
"Those I do", said Dharani, rolling her eyes discreetly.
"Good. Now write the test and show it to me. I am giving you an hour", said Radhika.
"Okay", said Dharani, turning back to write the test, doing her best not to get irritated.
Dharani felt the fire in her rise, the Shakti in her struggle, wanting to come out. Her anger was rising. She pushed the anger back. Her family was utterly ridiculous. What is with them and those superstitions? She shook her head, and sat in front of the Ram parivaar in meditation.
She sat amidst the burning flames, their heat spreading all over. But she felt nothing but coolness like that of sandalwood. Her entire body was filled with a single name, "Rama Rama Rama!"
She could focus only on a moon-like face, shining amidst everyone, so perfect that it would seem like all the world's beauty had entered Him. She could see Him, standing in His saffron robes of a vanvaasi, with His Kodanda bow on His majestic shoulders, face calm. Only Lakshman, she was sure, could see the war raging in His eyes and heart. She could feel it. Why did He have to feel this way? Doesn't He know His Sita knows Him too well by now, and that she would never blame Him?
Dharani jerked out of her trance. She stared up at the moon-like face of Shri Rama. Had she just seen herself as Devi Sita?
"She will be Satyabhama and Andal, yet be Sita and Radhey, as well as Dharaa and Alamelu", said Lord Vishnu, a beautiful smile gracing His perfect features.
NOTE:
I know that many here may wonder why I am calling Sita Bhudevi also, when many say she is Shridevi. I have an explanation for that. Along with that, I have proof that during some of her toughest times, Sita was Bhudevi. I will reveal all as and when the time comes. Please do bear with me.
Pyaar Kii Ye Ek Kahaani
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
